Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

true colors & tiny bits of happiness

“A wise man dyes events with his own color.” ~Seneca

For me this affirms the value of living authentically, of framing events and circumstances in ways that are productive, growth oriented, joy centered, and loving. Live with honest and truthfulness, sure, because we’re not talking about denial or avoidance; but do not live based in someone else’s story, someone else’s colors. We are not living that person’s life, and noone’s life is disposable. Every single one of us has a path and a purpose that is valid, worthy, and beautiful in its own right.

Just a few things to consider, friends, in case you are in the habit of dismissing your own worth or assigning your value or your understanding of the world to someone else. Own your truth. Color the world with your unique self, the fulness of it. No holding back, okay?

Best royal icing: one cup powdered sugar, one egg white, few drops lemon juice, food coloring. BAM. Perfect.

Okay.

Some quick farm news for Thursday!

First, yesterday afternoon I scoured the kitchen for leftovers and scraps then took all of it out to the front coop. Before emptying my big bowl dramatically, I tossed a pink-frosted, sprinkle-covered donut into the air. A demure little red hen hopped up and caught the sugary treat on its descent. Donut in her beak, she ran to the furthest corner of the yard and dove into it, all by herself. Made me so happy.

Second, today at 11:47 a.m. I touched Little Lady Marigoild’s head. I was, regrettably, wearing gloves, but even through that barrier I could feel the smooshy wonderfulness of her fleecy noggin. She said “BLEEEHHH” and whipped her neck a few times, but she did not run away. Progress. Major progress.

One more thing:

Do you know how old my parents are? They are I called one of them but they put me on speaker and both talk to me years old. And I love it. I love it very much.

What small details are making your day extra nice?

XOXOXOXO

impermanence

Yesterday afternoon, Handsome walked into the Apartment where Jess and I had parked to do some serious conversating. He announced playfully that between the dogs roughhousing and panting like monsters and the women talking nonstop, the temperature inside the house had risen five degrees. Ha! It might actually have been true. Once again, #sorrynotsorry

On Day 2 of Jess’ Farm Retreat, we swam, made frozen treats for the chickens, chased the dogs tirelessly, made Bean swim in a tiny inflatable pool donut, fed extra soft grass to the horses, discussed legiterally everything, made sprinkle sugar cookies via Joy the Baker, made homemade pizza from scratch, and watched a movie at the end of it all. Somewhere in there Jess managed a good old fashioned summertime afternoon nap, much needed and hard earned.

We had planned an art project like painting or scarecrow constructing, perhaps macrame, but got pleasantly sidetracked making the chickens’ frozen scraps treats. This is when the topic of impermanence arose. It was such a careful, loving task, walking around the farm collecting colorful flowers, herbs, and bits of fruits and vegies, then cleaning out the kitchen for more. We chopped everything and Jessica arranged it beautifully inside a bundt cake pan before filling the pan with water to freeze. All of this preparation for a treat that will freeze overnight and be toyed with, melted, and consumed tomorrow morning. A brief pleasure, an impermanent gift. But still joyful. We talked about the monks who work so hard on their intricate chalk mandalas, only to sweep them away once finished.

Have you seen Onward yet? Oh gosh. The three of us (five of us if you count the dogs which you definitely should) watched it tonight with our homemade pizzas and sprinkle cookies. It is not just cute and funny, it is also one of the most inclusive, soothing, loving Pixar films so far, with many beautiful messages. We all really loved it, and I actually felt a warm touch of grace for having seen it exactly on this night, exactly in this life chapter, exactly after a series of heavy conversations Jess and I have had this week.

I am not certain what tomorrow holds for us, both in the broader life sense as well as in the what will be doing on Friday sense, ha! But I know what our prayers are. I know what our values are. I know what binds us together and what fuels our work and our play. I know that Love is worth every bit of our trust and that magic is real.

Sweet sleep, friends! Thanks for checking in!

XOXOXOXO

kicking off anniversary staycation

It’s anniversary week! Tradition bears that we spend at least part of it at alone the farm, soaking up summertime romance. Late yesterday afternoon, Handsome signed off from his Commish duties until one week from Monday. Ten days off, very hard earned, wahoo!!

Ten days at the farm after 118, ha! Despite the obvious jokes about quarantine sameness and farm work being constant and a general inability to halt certain routines, we are pretty excited. This time together has historically been a special time to reconnect and recharge. I love it. I love him. I love us.

Day One:

Johnny Ringo the nursing cat makes cuddling an extreme sport.
LLM is baaing and approaching more bravely.

We slept until 5 a.m., drank coffee with Little Lady Marigold, and went to Walmart for pool chemicals and a few groceries. We also sketched out a list of random lists we want to share with you guys, to document our 19 years of marriage. We promise it will be just as boring as it sounds.

Midday, Handsome got the mowing done while I grabbed an hour of exercise (a mix of treadmill and gym today, while watching gardening videos). We swam at high noon, exchanged a couple of fun gifts, then retreated to the air conditioning when our skin hurt.

Handsome surprised me with this colorful area rug he knew I was loving.
Klaus immediately claimed it.

I got to enjoy an afternoon Zoom with my family to discuss Where the Crawdads Sing. So fun! And I appreciate our baby sister Gen for gifting copies of the book to everyone. Really generous! That’s the book review I recently promised, by the way, so if that interests you please stay tuned.

How fortunate are my siblings and I that we are all friends, and that our parents will join us in reading and discussing books, even during quarantine?! I just love it. They are both voracious readers. They always read aloud to us, our entire lives, and they read their own books and papers in front of us, too. It was just a very normal and constant part of life. I am super thankful that we can share it now, still, in new ways.

This evening we watched the new Netflix movie with Charlize Theron, The Old Guard. So good! Imaginative action movie with a surprisingly inspirational message toward the end. We both loved it, and I hope it is becoming a series.

How about one quick piece of salad advice before closing up for today? Instead of adding toppings to the top of your bowl of leafy greens, start with them. That makes them bottomings, I suppose. It makes all the difference!

Just get a much bigger bowl than you think you need, ok? Tonight I assembled a pile of chopped sweet peppers, cucumbers, and gorgeous garden tomatoes, also some cooked chicken breast, and let it all sit in the fridge with balsamic vinegar. While I cooked Handsome’s dinner, it all became extra cold and flavorful. Then I just piled it high with greens and mixed it up. So much better this way! The tomato juice and balsamic provided more than enough slickness and moisture to skip dressing, and all the chunky bits were findable with my fork. Like treasure.

One more story: Just before the golden hour while I was folding laundry from the clothesline into a big basket, my industrious and forward thinking husband tried to remove some very full fly traps (the water bag kind) into sealed trash bags, but one of them fell and burst. It was, even from a good distance, easily the most startling and psychologically unsettling odor I have ever smelled. EVER.

To his credit, my man stayed calm and cleaned it up quickly. But much more than a whisper of the offense remains. The llamas are sad now. The tomato vines wilted. The cats are in a frenzy over the smell, but they are too young to know why. I fear the Little Lady Marigold will take this personally, because it happened so near where we have been making such progress with intimacy.

Back inside, we almost got into an argument over who was yelling too much or stifling their yells or what, because in the midst of it all a worried, newly homeless fly tried to burrow in my ear while I was delivering leftovers to the chickens. I did not handle it well.

Staycation is going great! See you tomorrow!

“The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man
who can’t read them.
~Mark Twain
XOXOXO

nobody’s sad at hooters

Jess and I spent the morning together, handling some pretty heavy emotions and navigating startling black skies, shattered by webs of lightning. The weather came out of nowhere, like so many storms in her young life, and her sister’s.

Does anyone remember that wild hailstorm through which Joc and I once drove, on our way to Colorado? It descended out of nowhere, was violent and scary for a few minutes, then it ended just as suddenly. We had to look in the rear view mirror to confirm that we had, in fact, just seen it. There it was, behind us, and we kept driving. I will never forget it. It still reminds me how suddenly a life storm can come and go. How succinctly our traumas can be put behind us. Chapters close, and we move forward.

Back to this morning with Jess.

As our time together was winding down, we drove east across south Oklahoma City toward her house. I exited the highway, turned into a parking lot, and said, “I’m taking you somewhere.” My idea was to find a delicious treat at a really cute health food grocery store we both like, in lieu of eating brunch at a restaurant. (#covid)

The parking lot also fed into a Hooters restaurant. Jess very calmly said, “Oh you’re taking me to Hooters?”

I said, “Yes obviously. Nobody’s sad at Hooters.”

“Sounds perfect, let’s go!” Peals of laughter. Much more lightning. Even blacker, lower skies.

Brackish waters.

Was everyone in Oklahoma as surprised by today’s storm as we were? It built steadily then absolutely raged. We were braced for the Heat Dome of the Apocalypse, but instead, all of daybreak’s sticky blue atmosphere collapsed beneath black, woolly shelf clouds. We felt chilled. Even the biggest trees fell subject to straight line winds. Torrential rain, flash flood warnings, even one rumor of tornado conditions.

I can’t stop eating dried mango! Or pecan praline crumbs!

And if you could have any of the following iconic cars, which would you choose? I want the A-Team van, obviously. Fools pitied, and all.

Handsome is currently in the city for a few hours, then once he returns home we will begin our anniversary staycation!! Next week we will mark 19 years of wedded bliss and adventure. While it’s customary every summer for us to spend at least part of our anniversary week at the farm, doing our favorite staycation things, this is the first year that ten or so days “alone” will follow 118 days “alone,” ha! So more than ever I am taking a good honest look at how to be deliberate about quality time and relaxing together. The biggest difference of course will be that he won’t be spending the weekdays on Commish business.

I’m excited! We are definitely staying home, but somehow it feels like we are packing for a trip?!

This reminds me that I have been wanting to tell you guys about our game, “This Hotel…” It’s a way we encourage each other to more fully enjoy our home bound life. Rather than focus on the sometimes annoying facts of a relative quarantine, we try to magnify some of the hard work we do to keep things comfortable and happy, luxurious and fun for each other. Examples:

“This hotel has great coffee service. I love that they have it ready so early! Most place you have to wait until 6.”

“This hotel is so pet friendly, like really pet friendly!”

“This hotel has a really cute pool boy. I wonder if he gives massages…” : )

“This hotel’s nature walks and gardens and animal refuge are so relaxing, and we are so remote, it’s more private than I expected…totally worth the extra money.”

“This hotel has so many great snacks! I love that we don’t have to drive to town to find something. And I heard that they grow their own produce, and those eggs from breakfast were fresh.”

“This hotel has all the best movies, for FREE! And have you seen their free library? Any book you could ask for!”

“Ahhh this hotel has the best pillows. And so many extra blankets for when you turn down the air at night!”

“Did you see that on Tuesdays they have outdoor painting? And on the weekends they make s’mores and have storytelling around the bonfire? I think they have bicycles you can rent, too.”

“Free laundry service? This hotel is amazing!”

“I love the room service here. This hotel has great food. And And I love the boutique atmosphere. We can really be ourselves.”

You get the idea. It’s fun and silly but wildly effective. Try it! Staying home for weeks and weeks and weeks might have its challenges, but if you are diligent and imaginative about how you create and maintain your home, then, outside of actually experiencing a new city, home can far surpass any hotel. It just takes a little perspective shift and some silliness.

It’s now almost 2:30 p.m. The weather is calm. Our only storm damage is a toppled hammock. (#wewillrebuild)

Sadly, I have now eaten so much dried mango and so many bits of pecan praline that I must brush my teeth again. Wishing you the best Friday evening friends! Thanks for checking in.

Please remember that grief and joy can coexist
that you are strong
and that every thing is survivable.
XOXOXOXO

beauty just as it is

858 new coronavirus cases in Oklahoma. While my husband and I recently tested negative and have been severely limiting out interactions with anyone other than quarantined family, this statistic has our attention. We learn daily of more and more positives in our immediate circle of friends and colleagues, many of them at risk for serious reasons. This is far from a hypothetical problem in our world. I know and love people who have been sick for weeks, for months, and are homebound because being in public, or even with close friends and family, is too risky. What underscores all of the statistics, though, is the fact that Jessica works in a hospital, so near to the virus, day after day. I do not comprehend the nonchalant attitude so many people are displaying.

Let’s talk about something else.

This afternoon I tackled the raised bed project I mentioned in yesterday’s post. As a karmic reward, I walked away with one of the heaviest and most luscious tomato hauls of the summer so far. The jalapenos are about ready, so I hope to try my hand at roasted salsa this weekend.

Little Lady Marigold came all the way up to me for her breakfast! I couldn’t believe it. She was so bold and friendly. Had I not slept late this morning and felt pressed to finish my chores in order to run my miles before lunchtime, I could have sat there with her all day. Her fleece is still messy and wild looking, but I kinda love it. I also love her awkward, little bleaty voice. “Bleehhhuuu!”

The mural garden is out of control in the best way.

Maybe it was the vote of confidence from my doctor yesterday, maybe I just needed to know I wasn’t doing any damage to my body, but today was the first time in quite a while that I ran 8 miles effortlessly. It felt truly easy. Comfortable. I feel like it is a good beginning.

Have you sampled that podcast yet, called The Anthropocene Reviewed? I enjoyed another episode, this one about sunsets and beauty just as it is and also The Great Gatsby, “Our Capacity for Wonder.” Really thought provoking, especially toward the end.

Before signing off tonight, I would love to share a little passage from Cold Mountain. The man in this story feels about music the way I feel about words, about language:

“One thing he discovered with a great deal of astonishment was that music held more for him than just pleasure. There was meat to it. The grouping of sounds, their forms in the air as they rang out and faded, said something comforting to him about the rule of creation. What the music said was that there is a right way for things to be ordered so that life might not always be just tangle and drift but have a shape, an aim. It was a powerful argument against the notion that things just happen.”

Sweet sleep, friends, Thank you for checking in.

XOXOXOXO