Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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garden check in, mid august

August 19, 2021

Hello, happy mid-August, how does your garden grow?

In Oklahoma, we are already enjoying a few softer days here and there, with temperatures often below normal and rainfall above. Then the heat returns. Then it’s mild again. And again, more equatorial heat. We are challenged by army worms but blessed with butterflies and wasps and frogs and birds, and we still have the prettiest daybreaks and sunsets anywhere. The Lazy W gardens are still producing tomatoes, tomatillos, herbs, zinnias, and peppers. And seeds I have sown recently are already an inch tall. But the brightest summer colors are beginning to fade. I see it first in the hydrangeas, and they are as beautiful as old linen or well worn blue jeans.

me and my giant parsley branches…xoxo

The older I get and the longer I garden intentionally, the less I see each year as a separate event. Certainly, they do all swim together in the fast moving stream of time; but more importantly, it is all a beautiful continuum. One gardening seasons leads and contributes to the next. Last year’s failures and successes become this year’s goals and puzzles, which set the stage for next season’s main show. The flowers reseed and the perennials grow and mature. Some die. The trees change silently, imperceptibly, then all at once one day they are towering and full bodied. Our tastes evolve, building aesthetic ideals one upon the other, hopefully honing ever more clearly on what we actually want from our gardening lives.

And there is always, always something happening outside. Something I absolutely love about living here is how much quiet drama is constantly available to us outdoors. Yes, summertime is rightfully the most glorious group of months because of the exuberant food supply and almost tropical colors everywhere. But the end of summer is hardly the end of the gardening year. I love knowing that. I love feeling deep in my bones the connectedness of all these efforts and all these various months and days. The life-affirming continuum of summer that leads to fall that leads to winter that was all preceded by dozens, hundreds, thousands of repeats of the same pattern. What if I die and someone takes over my gardens here? The work I do now, the choices I make, will become that gardener’s starting point. Just as the work done here fifteen years ago started me in my adventure. Or my Grandpa! His garden, though never my own, really started it all. I digress.

summer shade garden in mid august, where the chickens play

For most of this month and next, I am following a self imposed five step plan to keep the gardens thriving and happy and prepare for the coming season. I see it in these stages: Edit, Nourish, Fast Food, New Color, and Reflect.

#1 Edit ruthlessly! This is hard for me at first then becomes deeply satisfying. I pull hidden weeds, prune overgrown, leggy perennials, shear back flowering annuals to give them a chance to bloom again, and then completely yank out the summer vegetables that are well past their primes (looking at you, Japanese eggplant). I do a little bit every day, sometimes in passing, and then I do a lot with more focus in certain areas of the farm, a few times per week. One day it will stop growing back, ha. I have developed the habit of walking around with a five gallon bucket, a pair of scissors, and a little hand trowel to make the job easy and accessible. I was so gratified to hear that my friend Dee does this too! Once I get over the emotional conflict of uprooting plants, the thrill of creating blank space for the next project is even better than emptying an overstuffed closet in the house.

tomatillos, blackberries, beans, & parsley, plus blank space…xoxo

#2 Nourish! This time of year, all the shrubs and perennials especially benefit from a generous application of farm compost. I mound it up generously and let the chickens scratch it in then water lusciously, knowing most plants can still grow, still embolden their roots plenty, before frost. I am eyeballing the beds during this task to see where I might add more structure in fall, especially some evergreens. I am also tallying up how many new bags of mulch we will need when it goes on sale soon.

#3 Fast Food: As I type this, Oklahoma still has at least 62 growing days to go, probably more like 73. That’s a lot of warm, fertile weeks! I have already been sowing seeds for fresh sweet peas, bush beans, Swiss chard, pok choi, spinach, and arugula, all quick producers. I also planted some extra zinnias just for fun, but I think Leon the rooster scratched up and ate those. It’s fine. Soon I will add more lettuces, kale, radishes, carrots, beets, and more. I am amazed by how quickly they germinate right now in this warm, welcoming soil. It’s a different experience than springtime. And what a comfort to have these things to nurture in place of the things we lose at summer’s end.

#4 New Color: Before we know it, the nurseries and hardware stores will be overflowing with a flush of new color. I am excited to add lots and lots of it to our containers and beds, and I am wide open to inspiration based on what I see and what I feel will last the longest. I sometimes begin this season with a color scheme in mind but often abandon that completely when a certain flat makes my mouth water. The only plan I will absolutely keep is helping Jessica and Alex plant their first perennial border. That is exciting! Boxwoods, hydrangeas, and spring bulbs, here we come!

#5 Reflect: Again mindful of how “this year’s” garden is simultaneously part of both last year and next year, and realizing that my memory has better things to do than memorize verities and dates with much specificity, I am resolved to journal a little more intentionally. I want to capture my satisfaction with what has gone well and capture the regrets I have or the lessons I am learning.

I will always want more and more sunflowers. Always more…xoxo

This is where I am in the gardens for now. The days pass too quickly because they are brimming with goodness. I am so happy having the flock free range. Grateful for a ribbon of affectionate cuddling with the horses. Really fascinated with the compost process. Overall, just blissing out here. Thank you for listening!

One more thing, friends: I am slowly reading a new book called The Well Gardened Mind, researched and beautifully written by psychiatrist Sue Stewart-Smith. I am gleaning just so much from its pages, I cannot wait to tell you everything. If you believe intrinsically in the value of gardening to restore and maintain our health both physical and emotional, this book will resonate with you. Here is one luscious quote for you now:

“As children, and let us not forget it, as adults too,
we need to dream, we need to do,
and we need to have an impact on our environment.
These things give rise to a sense of optimism
about our capacity to shape our own lives.”
~Sue Stuart-Smith
The Well Gardened Mind
XOXOXO

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Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: books, choose joy, garden, gardening, gratitude, oklahoma gardening, psychology, summertime

sweet easy saturday & some reading

June 5, 2021

I woke up around 4:40 this morning, feeling so bright and wide awake that I was surprised by the bruised purple dark at the windows. Klaus and I walked outside for a few minutes then started the coffee. Today is a planned rest day, my hair was already clean and my body already scrubbed since yesterday evening, and Handsome and I had a few easy outings in mind. I adore days like this, when we have very certainly earned some R&R, I am unlikely to get too dirty or sweaty, and I can look ahead to several consecutive hours of freedom. Just meandering through the open waters of a rare, unscheduled Saturday.

Some details…

I have a solid reputation for being afraid of frogs. It’s not that I am afraid of them existing, in fact I am very happy that our farm enjoys so many of them; it’s just that I am afraid of them jumping into my mouth or ears, specifically. Look at this tiny guy, less than half an inch long! I found him in the herb garden:

so small!

What a day for easy socializing. This morning we got better acquainted with a neighbor and his German Shepherd (!!!), which was a wonderful surprise. Then we visited the State Fairgrounds for a junk and crafts show, stopped at my parents to chat a while and tour Mom’s incredible garden, then shopped at Savory Spice in OKC . Finally, we ran one errand at Lowe’s and ate lunch on the way home and saw another neighbor when we got here. All day long, at every turn, we visited with so many happy, friendly, talkative people. It hit me that we were like dry sponges just soaking up all those good vibes, all those funny stories and unmasked smiles. I am far from weary of the novelty of this fresh, wide open season.

At Savory Spice, a young woman approached me and asked if I remember her. It was a friend of Jocelyn’s from grade school! Of course I remembered her! What a joyful shock to see here standing there, a full grown woman, chatting about life and pandemic and career paths like anyone would. Talking with her flooded me with good memories and strong hope. Side note, I was proud of the progress I have made in my heart, that not even for one moment was I tempted to ask, “Have you heard from her, have you seen her?” There was a long season when I was scared and desperate for updates. We are way past that now, wading deep in assurances, choosing trust over and over again.

Here is a surprise purchase Handsome made while she and I chatted. I am measurably excited to find excuses to use it:

so delish

We have reached that time in the growing season when vegetables, flowers, and herbs insist on being carried back to the house, even if I am only wearing pajamas and not carrying a basket. I may need to sew myself a harvest apron:

snow peas!

Ann Voskamp shared a lyrical post that is loaded with great sentences. Here is one I especially loved: “It takes courage to listen with our whole heart to the tick of God’s timing, rather than march to the loud beat of our fears.” I found it restful and encouraging, just watch out for the butterfly story. Ouch.

Edie also wrote a great piece recently about how we speak, not just what we say but the tone we use, the energy we share with people. I loved so much of this. How true that life or death is in the power of our words. I occasionally feel resentful of the power my subtle mood changes can have, resentful of the responsibility that carries, but most of the time I am amazed by this magic. Our emotions are powerful energy, and I love that. Thank you for sharing every bit of this, Edie!

Jessica has started reading The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake, which I will soon read again, to discuss with her. Book club friends will definitely remember this unusual novel. This is our current arrangement, sharing favorite titles with each other. I imagine we will soon venture into uncharted written territory together. I will say again, that reading books with your adult kids is just as wonderful as reading books to them when they were little.

Myself, I am reading The Witch Elm by Tana French. My gosh. Dense and spontaneous writing with arrow straight storytelling, loaded with sensual mystery. Loving it.

Are you following along with Dee’s podcast? She and Carol offer wonderful advice and inspiration every single week. Highly recommend.

Signing off, friends. We have more meandering to do with what remains of this fine Saturday. Choose joy!

“He who is driven by fears
delays the comfort of God.”
Ann Voskamp
XOXOXOXO

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Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: books, carpediem, choosejoy, faith, Freedom, trust

may 15th already?

May 15, 2021

A few days ago, between dinnertime and sunset, my husband and I were meandering around the south lawn when I spotted a dangling bouquet of scarlet red strawberries growing in that narrow, sandy little elbow near the Chinese umbrella trees. I picked a few for us to sample, and we simultaneously exclaimed at how sweet and juicy they were. So sweet! So juicy! Then he finished chewing and swallowed his and said, with complete sincerity, “That’s like a free strawberry!” It’s why we garden, folks. It’s for the free strawberries.

Please enjoy this very typical photo of Meh aggressively smooching Jess:

Speaking of Jessica, on her invitation, I just devoured The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. It is easily one of the most moving stories and beautifully written books in my life, so far. It should perhaps be required reading for anyone thinking of adopting a dog. Bonus points to the author for layering in plenty of messaging about manifestation and mind power. I loved it and cried and laughed out loud and cried again as I sped through the pages. This is the second time Jessica will have read it, and we are excited to sit and discuss it soon. The first time she read it was during our dark chapter of separation, something neither of us chose or wanted. Funny how life can twist and turn and give us myriad ways to reclaim what we have lost.

Myself, I am rereading An Other Kingdom, which I first read the winter preceding pandemic. Its themes and pointed spiritual challenges are even more throbbing neon today. Then, they were exciting, counter cultural ideas; now they are expressions of what so many of us have learned (maybe the hard way?) these recent stressful months.

“My life is either the performance of a deathly liturgy or the possibility of something alive, a liturgy of aliveness.”

The 2021 Lazy W gardens are mostly in and growing steadily. No overnight successes or transformations here, but rather a steady stream of seeds disappearing into the fertile earth and flats of annuals and new herbs here and there to fill in the gaps. I have added six different rose bushes (who am I?) to various beds and replaced two big ornamental grasses that did not come back after the brutal winter. Otherwise, I think all of my shrubs and perennials made it, even the crepe myrtles, hydrangeas, and azaleas. The daylilies promise to be stunning this summer. This year my food growing efforts are very much blended in with my flower growing indulgences. It’s all a big crazy, celebratory mix, is what I’m saying. Especially because I neglected to label much as I planted, what we see week to week is what we are gonna get. It’s fine. My gardening mood this year is definitely chaos and color, with a hefty dose of welcome and abundance.

Both last Saturday and this morning, Handsome and I attended small, local car cruise ins. These aren’t exactly car shows; they are casual gatherings for car collectors to mingle, enjoy a cup of coffee and maybe a free donut. During covid shut downs and quarantines last year, we missed 100% of the scant car events, so being back out and about, seeing friends we hadn’t seen in a year has been wonderful. We made a new friend too, and she happens to live on our road out here in Choctaw! Wonders never cease. She is brand new to Oklahoma, so I am having fun getting acquainted and bragging about my home state.

I hope you are doing well, friends! I hope that your mother’s day weekend, however you were able to celebrate, was loving and happy. I was spoiled rotten as per the usual, and I got to spend quality time with both my parents and my youngest girl (and Bean). Jess cooked a beautiful brunch, complete with a set table and handwritten letter. What’s better than your little toddler baby bringing you breakfast in bed, is your grown woman child inviting you to her house for a perfect meal.

That, and my hopes and beliefs for Jocelyn are so strong and exciting right now, I almost cannot find the words to wrap around the feeling. I wake up every day knowing in my bones that if I don’t see her that day, I am one day closer to seeing her. And my dreams about her are radiant and strong.

For personal reasons, I needed a little reprieve from the writing pandemic stories, but now I am ready to dive back in. Two more are in the wings being edited, plus three or four potential new interviews, and I am excited to share them all with you. Have you enjoyed reading them? Everyone has been so vulnerable and forthcoming. I have gleaned much more from this whole project than I expected to.

Okay. Onward to the rest of Saturday. Thank you so much for checking in!

“Well being is the only stream that flows.”
~Abraham Hicks

XOXOXOXO

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Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: books, choose joy, daily life, gratitude, love, reading

feeling challenged, nourished, hopeful (media consumption this week)

September 27, 2020

Hello, friends, happy Sunday! I am soon off for a solo long run in what might be the last warm morning for a while. Then Handsome and I have a fun plan for the cooler weather headed our way this afternoon. Battery recharging is our favorite hobby. What does life look like for you this weekend?

Below are some of the best bits of media I have consumed this week. I am feeling nourished, challenged, and truly hopeful. Marigolds, zinnias, and baby pumpkin vines help.

some flourishing “jack be little” vines in the spent tomato beds

Thursday evening, I finally finished reading To Shake the Sleeping Self by Jedediah Jenkins and wholeheartedly give it five out of five stars. Ten out of ten. All the stars! If either good storytelling or deep, spiritual inspiration are at all your thing, give it a whirl. Here is the review I shared on Goodreads:

I finally read this book after several passionate recommendations from a variety of people I respect. Loved it completely. It’s different than what I expected, and better. It’s a modern Odyssey, really, a young man’s physical adventure and waywardness made deep and meaningful by his journey inward and reconciliation with home and family, spirituality, himself. He connected to nature and to the world at large, and to God, the Universe. I was drawn in by his physical endurance journey, appalled by his travel companion, and fully romanced by the long trail of travel descriptions, of places I am unlikely to ever visit myself. Absolutely satisfying read, from the first page to the last. I am sorry it took me so long to read, but happy to have it in my bones now.

You had me at, “narrated by Woody Harrelson,” but that’s just one of many wonderful things about Kiss the Ground. Another stellar documentary on Netflix, it’s about soil health, carbon emissions, and the things we can do as people, governments, and corporations to improve things. Often, exposes leave me feeling defeated; this time I felt motivated, challenged, excited. Spoiler alert: COMPOST!

kitchen composting is a great lesson for kids
three cheers for well rotted manure!

The Daring Romantics podcast is one of my favorites. Author Lindsey Eryn always seems so casually approachable, so sweet and soft, yet her material is substantial, usuable, important. Often her message is a mix between Christian faith and the Law of Attraction, which is so right up my alley. This episode titled “Paving the Way for the Miraculous” is definitely worth a listen. Four accessible ideas. Grab ’em.

Handsome and I watched The Social Dilemma, and I have a lot to say, ha! Have you watched it yet? Are you surprised by any of it? Do you think these realizations will impact your online behavior, or if you want them to, how will you facilitate that? I am especially interested in learning more about the pleasure-pain balance theory. In this house, we are determined to facilitate more face to face communication with friends and loved ones, somehow, eventually. And we have discussed the value of inviting perspectives from people who seem to be very different from us. Here are two of my favorite quotes from the show:

“This is stupid, we can do better. It is the critics who are the true optimists.”

and…

“It’s going to take a miracle. And that miracle, of course, is collective will.”

Joy the Baker directed us to read an article on The Atlantic, How We Survive the Winter. Maybe you have already seen it? I read it this morning, was not surprised by the grim data, and actually feel uplifted knowing that if we face anything with some honesty then we can take control of our experience of it, even the worst stuff. I cannot control the big picture, only my contribution to it. So I will be writing my own Winter Survival Plan, and I hope you do too.

My friend Dee is a gardener after my own heart, for many reasons (she cointed that delicious phrase, English with an Oklahoma accent). This week she shared her thoughts and progress lately on growing a native prairie filled with wildflowers. Handsome and I are working steadily on transforming our front field into something like this, so Dee’s post was fun to read. By the way, treat yourself to viewing her blog on your PC, not a mobile device. Her homepage and photography are mouthwatering.

My mom, my baby sister Gen, and I are now reading Killers of the Flower Moon. So far it’s a crisp, dry read, a nonfiction history lesson about some unsettling events in Oklahoma Indian Territory. I will report back soon.

What are you reading right now? What have you watched lately? What podcasts do you recommend? Let’s consume good stuff.

Thank you for checking in. I hope you and your people are well.

XOXOXOXO

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Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: books, compost, faith, gratitude, law of attraction, media, podcasts, quarantine coping, reading

kicking off anniversary staycation

July 11, 2020

It’s anniversary week! Tradition bears that we spend at least part of it at alone the farm, soaking up summertime romance. Late yesterday afternoon, Handsome signed off from his Commish duties until one week from Monday. Ten days off, very hard earned, wahoo!!

Ten days at the farm after 118, ha! Despite the obvious jokes about quarantine sameness and farm work being constant and a general inability to halt certain routines, we are pretty excited. This time together has historically been a special time to reconnect and recharge. I love it. I love him. I love us.

Day One:

Johnny Ringo the nursing cat makes cuddling an extreme sport.
LLM is baaing and approaching more bravely.

We slept until 5 a.m., drank coffee with Little Lady Marigold, and went to Walmart for pool chemicals and a few groceries. We also sketched out a list of random lists we want to share with you guys, to document our 19 years of marriage. We promise it will be just as boring as it sounds.

Midday, Handsome got the mowing done while I grabbed an hour of exercise (a mix of treadmill and gym today, while watching gardening videos). We swam at high noon, exchanged a couple of fun gifts, then retreated to the air conditioning when our skin hurt.

Handsome surprised me with this colorful area rug he knew I was loving.
Klaus immediately claimed it.

I got to enjoy an afternoon Zoom with my family to discuss Where the Crawdads Sing. So fun! And I appreciate our baby sister Gen for gifting copies of the book to everyone. Really generous! That’s the book review I recently promised, by the way, so if that interests you please stay tuned.

How fortunate are my siblings and I that we are all friends, and that our parents will join us in reading and discussing books, even during quarantine?! I just love it. They are both voracious readers. They always read aloud to us, our entire lives, and they read their own books and papers in front of us, too. It was just a very normal and constant part of life. I am super thankful that we can share it now, still, in new ways.

This evening we watched the new Netflix movie with Charlize Theron, The Old Guard. So good! Imaginative action movie with a surprisingly inspirational message toward the end. We both loved it, and I hope it is becoming a series.

How about one quick piece of salad advice before closing up for today? Instead of adding toppings to the top of your bowl of leafy greens, start with them. That makes them bottomings, I suppose. It makes all the difference!

Just get a much bigger bowl than you think you need, ok? Tonight I assembled a pile of chopped sweet peppers, cucumbers, and gorgeous garden tomatoes, also some cooked chicken breast, and let it all sit in the fridge with balsamic vinegar. While I cooked Handsome’s dinner, it all became extra cold and flavorful. Then I just piled it high with greens and mixed it up. So much better this way! The tomato juice and balsamic provided more than enough slickness and moisture to skip dressing, and all the chunky bits were findable with my fork. Like treasure.

One more story: Just before the golden hour while I was folding laundry from the clothesline into a big basket, my industrious and forward thinking husband tried to remove some very full fly traps (the water bag kind) into sealed trash bags, but one of them fell and burst. It was, even from a good distance, easily the most startling and psychologically unsettling odor I have ever smelled. EVER.

To his credit, my man stayed calm and cleaned it up quickly. But much more than a whisper of the offense remains. The llamas are sad now. The tomato vines wilted. The cats are in a frenzy over the smell, but they are too young to know why. I fear the Little Lady Marigold will take this personally, because it happened so near where we have been making such progress with intimacy.

Back inside, we almost got into an argument over who was yelling too much or stifling their yells or what, because in the midst of it all a worried, newly homeless fly tried to burrow in my ear while I was delivering leftovers to the chickens. I did not handle it well.

Staycation is going great! See you tomorrow!

“The man who does not read good books
has no advantage over the man
who can’t read them.
~Mark Twain
XOXOXO

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Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: anniversary, bloggingstreak, books, carpediem, choosejoy, daily life, family, farm life, marriage, reading, staycation, summertime

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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