Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

motivation monday (err tuesday ok): GOALS and VALUES

Intimidation or Inspiration?

All summer and especially last week, lots of my local friends and online acquaintances have been running stand-out races. Big marathons, big goals, fast times, strong bodies. Just amazing, motivating stuff. And after simmering in envy for too many weeks, this most recent rash of other people’s accomplishments has left me feeling great.

I finally feel relaxed about my personal timelines and not at all panicked. Studying, for example, how many years some people have spent working hard at their goals is a huge encouragement for me. I have time. And, I don’t mind admitting this, seeing the price some people pay in pursuit of those goals has been eye-opening. It helps bring my own values into focus.

As with anything in life, it helps to know that each of us has our own set of unique goals, and we should tailor them to our unique talents, lifestyles, and resources. It all just reinforces to me that I need to get honest with myself and focus on some goals that would bring me authentic joy while aligning with my core values and resources, which might differ from the people I have been emulating. I need to focus a little more on what I am doing with my own running and overall fitness, with less comparison to the rest of the world.

 

So I spent some time marinating these things and came up with a short list of goals and values that are genuine for me, in no particular order:

GOALS that are both measurable and long-term

  • Run a sub-4 marathon. I have no clue how close I am right now. And I am a little scared to find out. My focused training weeks this year went well, but I have not progressed much overall, just making small adaptations month to month. My mileage base is strong, so there’s that.
  • Also, qualify for Boston (for my age group that would be about 12 minutes faster than my sub-4 goal).
  • Run a half marathon really close to my brother’s time. (Dream big ok!!)
  • Finish this calendar year by running 2,018 miles EARLY. Take some downtime around Christmas. Only 424 miles to go!
  • Win the Olympics. Ha. And while I am at it, write a best selling novel so my husband can quit his job and we can spend the icy months at the beach. Ok.

VALUES, methods I want to observe along the journey:

  • Continue carving out time for lifting (baby) weights in order to feel really good, improve bodily function and strength and stay injury free. Even when it means sacrificing miles.
  • Evolve my diet safely and sustainably so I can live in a more fat adapted state (Primal? Maybe?) and curtail diabetic symptoms. 
  • Eat well (I feel my best when I eat great food and enough of it) but live life fully with my people, never dieting, not “fueling” constantly or pretending to be in a running vacuum. Perfectionism is a pitfall. And I am so tired of trying to lose weight. I just want to feel good every day and trust that healthy habits work in my favor, long-term. I love pizza and cookies once in a while. That has to fit in.
  • Overall health and balance, pursuing a good, ongoing sense of well being without overuse injuries or emotional burnout. 
  • Keep my running in harmony with the rest of our busy life, not living constantly in a strictly scheduled “training” mode, which leads to burnout and imbalance with friends and family. This means maybe one run per weekend right now, knowing that could change once marathon training starts.
  • Schedule more excursion runs with friends and family. “Iron sharpens iron” and also, it always turns out to be so fun. (I generally resist because I feel slower than everyone, I always have to pee more often haha, and I definitely treasure the alone time. But social runs are good for us too.)
  • Races are exciting and I am enticed by the competition, but they are less important to me over time, in the scope of things, so long as running and other healthy activities can remain a part of my life. I recognize that I need to spend less time and energy agonizing over how many races and fun events I am missing. 
  • Maintain the JOY of running!! I think anything we do for too long at an almost obsessive level can become work, and I want running to be a joyful part of my life for the rest of my life, if possible. So I am happy to allow some breathing room.

To remember my friend Robin’s advice, it’s great to look to others for inspiration, but once that begins to feel like intimidation, it’s time to look away.

Look at a baby kangaroo instead. 

Wish me luck and maybe some wisdom as I sort out exactly how all of this translates to weekly and monthly plans. I definitely do better with at least a skeleton plan and short-term goal or two.

Speedbump:

Something funny is that this morning after I drafted this blog post, I headed to the lake for a speed workout. As I was parking my car, my phone started flashing and buzzing tornado warnings, and the sky turned black. Instantly. I drove the nine miles home through blinding rain and straight-line winds, got the animals safe and happy, and watched the weather on television for two hours instead of working out. I was mad for a while but was able to pull out if it, reminding myself that this is life. Life (and certainly weather) does not revolve around my plans for the day. Also? It’s fine. It really is fine.

Someone in one of my running groups recently posted that an altered workout is actually good for us, because not only does it build mental tenacity; it also keeps our bodies guessing a little bit and makes us stronger in new ways.

Ok. Over and out. Thanks for coming to my TED talk about running goals and values and how I worry about missing out on stuff. 

It’s Fine!!
XOXOXO

 

 

the word for this week is “WHEW”

This past week flew by in a whirlwind of ordinary and extraordinary, with a couple of scary close calls and lots of deep relief mixed in. As the dust is settling before daybreak Sunday morning, I am even more filled with gratitude than usual.  

This is how my strong, sweet husband described it at bedtime Thursday night: “We have had two days that could have brought major paradigm shifts, but here we are resting in our comfortable bed and everything is okay.” I love that. And I am truly thankful for a husband who will speak words this powerful just as I am falling asleep.

Early Thursday morning Jessica had a health scare that brought all four of the parents together in the emergency room. Jess had been sick since the day before, feeling pretty worn down and in lots of pain (she had an elevated heart rate, too) from what we would eventually know was tonsillitis. But before we knew that, everyone was on high alert. 

By mid-morning, she had had tests and received lots of assurance from the doctor plus a few prescriptions and strict instructions to rest. We were all wildly relieved and with her blessing made plans for her to come back to the farm to recoup for a few days.

Klaus is very good at cuddling and watching people be sick. He loves us back to wellness.

It had been many years since we all convened in a hospital room like that, and it echoed both terror and comfort. Because we know God so much better by now. Trust in all circumstances has become such a natural way of life. We sense and believe so deeply how much He wants to help all of us, both with health and medicine and work and finances, the physical realities of living on earth, as well as with human relationships and all things spiritual. It’s amazing.

The peace in that hospital room was as much a relief as her good health report. 

The day before, we had a near miss with a house fire. I had spent the afternoon working between the gardens and the Apartment, where I had turned on a wall unit air conditioner, to cut the humidity. I went outside for a few minutes and returned to the sharp metallic smell of electrical fire. Long story short, the wall unit had a short in it. Thankfully, the sparks and tiny flames in the machine, though they did produce a lot of smoke, did not turn into a true fire, and the house is fine. But it was tense. My husband arrived home within minutes of me turning off all our power. He checked the wall and wires thoroughly. We turned the power back on and went back to life as usual, slightly stunned by everything that almost happened.

More echoes from past trauma, and another example of something which we have experienced before: Our house fire a decade ago was scary and stressful and expensive. But also loaded with blessings. God walked us through that ordeal then, every step of the way. This time, we were glad to avoid it completely.

So much assurance and peace, just to be restored to real life routines, two days in a row.

Before and in between those stories, life this first week of October was as full and normal as ever. My husband continues to work at the Commish under extreme stress but handles it beautifully, if you ask me. We continue to strive for health and peace and beautification around the farm. And gosh we really want to embrace the changing season.

Speaking of seasonal pleasures…

Saturday morning, Jess was feeling like herself again. The three of us took a very late breakfast outside to eat on the deck next to the first bonfire we have had in many weeks. It all happened just as a cold front swept uphill from the pond and a gentle rain tapped on the oak canopy above us. We played outside and luxuriated and talked about everything. 

What a way to start October, what a way to usher in autumn. And maybe this is helping us prepare for so many life transitions already headed our way. The house fire a decade ago signaled an awful life chapter. But I know this one brewing now will be different. I know that in my bones. Tomorrow is a new moon, too, I think. Definitely a time to notice growth.

Later that afternoon, when she was feeling really great and ready to resume her life and gentle routine, I drove Jess back to the City. (She had come to the farm with me on Thursday, without her car since she was too sick to drive.) That drive back was especially nourishing for the two of us. Long car rides have often, over the years, meant deep talking.

I soaked it up gratefully. And this time I was offered two additional gifts.

First, we saw Jocelyn. She was driving toward us on Penn, and it was actually her vehicle I recognized first, “Becky.” I am well acquainted with Becky since she started driving it in Colorado. Then I saw Jocelyn’s beautiful, pale round face and enormous brown eyes, that fringe of bangs beneath her ballcap. My heart leaped. I miss her so much, even with all the good news and encouragement we keep hearing. For a moment it occurred to me to suppress tears in front of Jessica. Then I realized that my body’s initial response to cry and ache was brief. No need to suppress.

Something warm and pleasant washed over me instead, like a touchable veil of comfort. 

Then, after dropping Jess (and cuddling her dog Pippa), as I was leaving Oklahoma City, I noticed the digital marquee on Penn, not far from where Joc would have been driving. It was at KP Supply, a business that for many years has been sharing inspirational or motivational quotes on their sign. Once, they agreed to scroll a Happy Birthday message to Joc, so she would see it as we drove to school that day. They are the nicest people, and their sign always touches my heart. Yesterday this was their message:

You cannot trust your judgment when your imagination is out of focus.

Okay, wow, yes. This speaks straight to my heart for so many reasons. How does it strike you?

I am finishing this post around lunchtime on Sunday. It’s once again raining gently outside, our windows are open, and I am happy to be immersed in all sorts of cuddly activities with my husband and our Shepp. My heart is calm. 

This week’s near misses and moments of rescue, these golden reassurances for yet unanswered prayers, they are altogether a thrilling gift. Life is beautiful and good beyond description. Trusting God with every detail is the most radical, most effective, most deeply satisfying life strategy we have ever tried. He loves us so much, it’s crazy.

Ok. Happy Sunday. I need to go check on my friends who are running the Chicago marathon today!!!

“It’s Not Time to Worry Yet.”
~Atticus Finch
XOXOXOXO

6 running lessons from September

Hello, happy October!! Can you believe it? Does it feel like October to you yet? I still keep thinking it’s June, you guys. Our gradual shift in weather is beginning to convince me, though, and I am actually happy about that. I am on board with the ever-so-slightly cooler temps, the terribly slow-changing leaves, and a few pumpkin recipes. I feel grateful for how gently this new season has arrived.

I’m checking in to review fitness goals, etc.

September was a strong running month for me. I feel great overall. And along the way, a few good lessons were reinforced to me that you might find useful, too. 

001 Those Little Extras are Actually Big Essentials

I am fully convinced that the following rituals and healthy habits have not only kept me injury free since springtime but have also enhanced my general sense of well being:

  • dynamic warm-ups before each run (just 5-7 minutes)
  • deep, slow stretching after each run (breathe light into your muscles, haha!)
  • lifting weights 2-3 times per week (at MOST, and I am talking BABY weights, for maybe 20-30 minutes per session)
  • doing focused core strengthening and one-leg balancing moves when the mood strikes (your core includes a lot more than those flat upper abs, haha! Get strong in your lower belly, hips, & glutes to see a major improvement to running power as well as foot health.)
  • running in a fasted state more often but replenishing with a lot of nutrition pretty soon after a workout
  • spreading protein more evenly throughout the day
  • foam rolling my legs and massaging my feet while watching tv at night
  • YOGA (although I only did it a few times this past month, every time I did yoga it felt luscious and I was reminded to do it more often)
please enjoy my messy weights corner of the laundry garage xoxoxo

002 Adaptation is a Slow, Beautiful Process

What fun that some things that used to be difficult for me, now feel way easier. I am in love with that rush of energy from sprinting an 800m repeat until I can barely feel my feet, or of completing a solid tempo run with energy to spare. Chipping away at a mileage goal is great, but feeling the actual differences in my body is the big thrill. Not too long ago I was scared of certain SOS workouts that I now get excited about. And this will sound ridiculous, but the stronger I get, the higher up to my hip bone I can feel those long leg muscles. That’s crazy. Ha.

003 Quality of Thought is Just as Important as a Healthy Diet

I cannot tell you how many times last month I was having a pretty great run and nonchalantly allowed my thoughts to slip into a sad memory or a frustrating life problem or melodrama, and my body nearly shut down. My legs suddenly felt heavy, my heart rate spiked, and I became hyperfocused on my Garmin, which (naturally) was giving me lots of negative feedback, and it all would make me crazy for a few minutes. 

The funny thing to me is that, sure, running is not always about performance. Often we get out there just to feel better emotionally. And on those, days, I might let my heart and mind wander a bit more and indulge in some crying while sweating. But even then I do try to reign it into a prayerful conversation with God, rather than just have a pity party. And on those days I make sure to set the intention of “slow and easy, mellow effort, low heart rate, focus on relaxing.” It helps. 

On the days I need fast intervals or just want to feel strong and capable, I focus and keep my brain in a very happy lane. I keep the reigns pretty tight on my imagination and also select music and podcasts carefully to avoid a surprise bummer.

004 Inspiration Beats Intimidation

My friend Robin gently reminded me of this a few weeks ago. I have a good, natural tendency to cheer other people on with their goals. It feels great to me and also helps me stay connected to loved ones, like my little brother who recently crushed his half marathon in DC!! And I just love learning from other people’s journeys.

But since I am not personally racing any time soon, and also I am not the caliber of runner most of my friends are, I will sometimes get that dreaded “FOMO” and start thinking loser thoughts about myself. Robin helped me restore my positive attitude. She gave me the vocabulary to draw inspiration from others, rather than allow myself to feel intimidated but their accomplishments.

I love that. And I love Robin.

005 Small Efforts Add Up

This past month I ran a total of 205 miles, but never more than 13 in one day, and I stayed plenty busy the rest of my life too, while not running, ha! The month felt really easy. I think it’s noteworthy and exciting that we can gently increase our running volume each week (each day) while staying active, productive, healthy and happy in the rest of our beautiful lives. For all of September, I never once felt so drained that I could not do my housework, farm stuff, gardening, or hanging out with loved ones. I’m thankful for that. Just a good reminder that a little extra each day, especially at an easy pace, adds up.

006 Gratitude Always

Every single run, even the ones when I tripped and bloodied my knees and elbows, ended with giving lots of thanks. And I think it matters.

Thanks for every single mile, for the health and strength to do it, for the freedom and safety, for the financial means to buy good shoes and have a car that drives me where I want to run, for the abundance of time to do something I love that greatly enhances my health, for the emotional release of it all, the mental sharpness and alone-time therapy running provides, the weather and scenery, just everything.

Sometimes after a run, I would thank God for answering my worries about a family member or for urging me to do something that day which maybe had not been on my radar yet. He talks to me, and I feel connected in these solitary hours. I am super duper, very extremely thankful.

What do you think of these lessons? Do they ring true for your running or for some other part of your healthy life?

October has already started strong for me, with a 10-mile easy run yesterday and 8 miles with my friend Sheila today, which included a really fun fartlek workout and breakfast together afterward. I am excited to chase a few goals leading up to Halloween, and the “run the year” finale is well within reach.

I have no idea about races any time soon, but whatever life brings I’ll hold these seven lessons close along the way.

Happy Running! Happy Everything!
XOXOXOXO

 

pumpkin-coconut soup, simplified

Ahhh soup weather. Oklahoma is finally enjoying a comfortable dip in both temperatures and humidity, so our windows are open and our menu is featuring soup here and there.

Last weekend our dear friends Mickey and Kellie joined us for a casual dinner of old-fashioned chicken and dumplings and newly developed pumpkin-coconut soup. (Food choices is a great idea around here, with a carnivore and a vegetable nut living under one roof.) Kellie brought the most glorious Autumn Harvest salad (pecans, goat cheese, and mustard vinaigrette!) and two substantial loaves of pumpkin bread. Just delicious. We did not purposefully coordinate our pumpkin theme, it just happened naturally. And it’s not the first time, either, ha!

Hashtag Themed Dinners.

Hashtag Menu-Forward.

Okay.

The boys feasted on chicken and dumplings. That pumpkin-coconut soup is one of my personal favorites, and Kellie liked it too. I was so happy. Since that experimental time a few Decembers ago, I have fooled around with the recipe a bit, simplified it actually, and today I’m sharing it all over again for a few people who asked about it on Instagram.

I ate these high-protein, vitamin-packed leftovers for a late lunch on Sunday,
following that delicious pie-sampling event at Savory Spice in OKC.
(I owe you that story too!) I felt totally reset after this lunch.
Supremely nourished, very comfortable. xoxo

Pumpkin-Coconut Soup is one of those “use what you have and then add things as the mood strikes you” type of recipes. Have fun!!

Here are the basics, I have typed in bold the ingredients that seem to set this soup apart:

  • olive oil and basic spices for sauteeing veggies of choice
  • spices like sea salt, black pepper, cayenne pepper, ginger, cumin, curry powder, garlic, turmeric.
  • finely diced “trinity” type veggies like carrots, celery, garlic, etc (you might use onion)
  • 1 can pumpkin puree (15 ounces)
  • 1-2 cans crushed tomatoes (15 ounces)
  • 1/3 cup of full-fat coconut milk (maybe more)
  • chicken broth to the thinness of soup you like
  • shredded cooked chicken (I like breast meat, you do YOU)
  • seeds and fresh herbs for topping (we used sweet basil and roasted sunflower kernels this time, the only limit is your imagination!)

Easy, Intuitive Method, as all the best soups are made:

  • Probably your chicken is already cooked and ready to reheat and add to the soup, right? Ok. Have it coming to room temperature while you begin. 
  • Chop and sautee you trinity veggies, seasoning liberally as you go. Allow so much more time than you think, so the base can get nice and soft and mushy and flavorful. Low and slow. Simmery and sultry. Listen to either a TED talk or French music, to encourage the process.
  • Add the crushed tomatoes, pumpkin puree, and some of the coconut milk, stirring affectionately until it is all incorporated and simmering nicely again.
  • Eventually start adding chicken broth to achieve the thinness you like your soup that day, knowing it will reduce and thicken the longer it cooks. This time I added a full “box” of broth instead of just two cups, and I liked it a lot more.
  • Add the cooked chicken. Small, tender pieces are best.
  • Taste and see that the soup is good.
  • Give thanks for things like curry and fresh herbs that you suddenly remember having. 
  • Consider texting your husband to see if he can pick up some roasted pepitas on the way home from the City then decide against that because it’s not worth defending your use of the word “pepitas” over just “pumpkin seeds,” and anyway are TED talks even still a thing, babe? Decide with confidence that sunflower kernels will do great.

The soup is now complete and ready to slurp decadently. Maybe drizzle more coconut milk on top, then garnish in every fancy way you crave. Just know that you will want to lick the bowl clean. It’s warm and filling and the vitamins explode into your bloodstream in the most magnificent, joyful, life-affirming way. I like it served hot alongside a cold, crunchy salad and warm sourdough bread, but who wouldn’t?

I am pretty basic in that way, ha. 

Okay, happy soup weather to you! I hope you try this and find your own twists and ways to make it perfect for you and your people. Please send me the details you discover. Soup will be on the Lazy W menu again soon, and I love all kinds of variations.

And what TED talks are you watching lately? 

“Just as food eaten without appetite is a tedious nourishment,
so does study without zeal damage the memory
by not assimilating what it absorbs.”
~Leonardo da Vinci
XOXOXO

 

a different mustard seed parable

Friends, here is a Mustard Seed parable for you to soak in. But probably not the one you already know. One of the hundreds of delicious little treasures I want to share with you from The Book of Joy is a new way to think of grief and how it connects us to each other.

This story is a Buddhist fable shared by the Dalai Lama. I’m just going to quiet the short paragraph directly from the book:

“A woman lost her child and was inconsolable in her grief, carrying her dead child throughout the land, begging for someone to help heal her child. When she came to the Buddha, she begged him to help her. He told him he could help her if she would collect mustard seeds for the medicine. She eagerly agreed, but then the Buddha explained that the mustard seeds needed to come from a home that had not been touched by death. When the woman visited each house in search of the mustard seeds that might heal her son, she discovered there was no house that had not suffered the loss fo a parent, or a spouse, or a child. Seeing that her suffering was not unique, she was able to bury her child in the forest and release her grief.”

It doesn’t have to be death, though that is a loss that will eventually unite all of us and possibly the one we all fear the most. I can easily think of several bright, terrifying moments of grief in my own life that have actually softened the more I looked around and saw that other people had lived through the same, or worse. Usually much worse. I bet you would agree.

Seeing that her suffering was not unique, she was able to release her grief.

There’s a lot of comfort available in a loving community. And if we can open up enough, there’s a lot of healing and learning that can happen too. How do people survive trauma? How do they make sense of tragedy? How do they cope, and how do they thrive despite their circumstances and mistakes?

In friendships where I feel comfortable sharing the darkest chapters of our family’s story, and when I can be steady-nerved enough to listen to other people’s darkest chapters, God always shows up. He always showers this peaceful, soothing veil over all the chaos and fear. He answers by reminding me that we are not alone. We are neither the first nor the last to be terrified, and His Love accomplishes actual miracles. 

Things are hardly ever as bad as they feel when we think we are alone. When we think our suffering is unique.

Relax a little, into some trusted community. Dare to open up to other people’s suffering, if only to realize how not unique your own suffering is. Then let all of that emotion turn into compassion. And let that compassion turn to hope. 

Check in again soon for more about community (Ubuntu, in the African tradition) and a couple of delicious mustard seed recipes. I wanted to include all of this together, but it’s just so much.

Happy Sunday friends. Thank you for checking in.

“A person is a person through other persons.”
~Archbishop Desmond Tutu
XOXOXO