Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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a solid week of giving thanks

Hello, friends, happy last week of November to you. We are here at the farm taking deep breaths and settling into our coziest, happiest early winter vibes, having properly celebrated a full week of Thanksgiving. We feel deeply grateful. And full. Our hearts and our bellies are so very full. It hurts a little, but it’s ok.

Last week our gatherings were a delicious mix of romance and solitude, friends and family, and a dash of community outreach. We spent our days and evenings mostly together, and I loved it. Klaus’ brother Lincoln was also with us until Saturday, which greatly added to the holiday cheer.

We exercised gently when it felt good and we had the time. We ate endless feasts of our favorite traditional foods. We watched movies at home and napped shamelessly. We completed fun projects around the farm, had a couple of prayer meetings with precious friends, and started making big, happy plans for Christmas. 

Flower bed clean up!

My parents hosted the local family on Friday evening. This year, none of our coastal siblings came to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving, and neither of my girls were with us (Jess was with her Dad’s family on Thursday, excited that her brother is in town from college, wahoo! Then she came down with strep throat, poor girl). We also are missing Grandpa Rex an awful lot. We could have focused on the people not with us, and in fact missing Jocelyn so acutely right now, I cried a lot on our drive to the City.

But somehow, the collective joy and laughter were powerful enough to drive out any sadness. I so appreciate this about my family. Everyone is so fun loving and light hearted, no matter what difficulty we are facing. Sometimes, I think, we are silly to spite what we are facing. And we have faced plenty over the years.

There’s a whole funny story about this moment that will probably lose all its humor in translation so just trust me here.

Mom, Angela, and I divided the menu, and I dare say conquered it. Three generations ate like kings and queens. Afterwards, everyone was able to fill their refrigerators with excellent leftovers. 

We played board games after dinner, and thanks to some magical November weather, the kids played outside.

My nephew Dante and baby brother Phil. Love them so much!!
Our Dad built this swing set for us when I was still in middle school. Now the little kids love it, and I bet they don’t even know that once I fell from it and busted my head open and got stitches and still have the scar.

On Sunday, Handsome and I welcomed several close friends at the farm for a low-key Friends-giving. Two fine humans named Kellie and Mickey arrived early, rolled up their sleeves, and helped finish all the food prep while we all chatted about deep and joyful new things. I have to say, the four of us make an outstanding team, especially in the kitchen. It was lots of fun.

Kale salad with roasted butternut squash and pom seeds, and smoked deviled eggs form Dennis. Amazing flavor!!

About nine adults total gathered and ate buffet style, snuggled up in our living room, where Handsome had built us a gorgeous, crackling fire. Everyone who joined us is in a very different life chapter, a mix of hard and beautiful, but we all have been friends for several years and care so much about each other. It was good to catch up in a quiet atmosphere and count our many blessings. Lots of laughter, again. Laughter prevails. Our faces hurt.

Along the way, truly every day this past week, we have felt that glowy warmth of genuine thankfulness. Gratitude for so many huge and tiny blessings. We feel God up close to us and surrounding us, too. He is pressing in, and we press back. Or maybe it’s the other way around?

Guess who can flat foot jump onto a round bale of hay now?

What I know is that it is working, this ongoing effort to improve our perspective a little more each day. Widen our view. Count the blessings that are coming at us like a tidal wave. Love immeasurable and full of hope. 

Thousands of prayers for these kids who are growing so fast…xoxo

Plus, it’s finally Christmas lights season!!

Thanks for reading, friends. I hope your Thanksgiving Week was also filled with love and pleasures. I hope you feel miracles brewing again. I would love to hear all about it.

Check back in soon for slightly more analytical thoughts on gratitude, whether it actually has power to change things.

Over and out!

XOXOXOXO

 

what to talk about at the holidays

Happy Thanksgiving Eve, friends! Are you reading this only because you are taking a break between pie recipes and adding one more flavor to the turkey brine? Is your apron dusted with flour and are your fingers sticky from lemon juice and Karo syrup?

Is your home filled with travelers and kids out of school, or are you home from the office and soaking up the quiet? Uh oh, are you at the grocery store right now? I’ll light a candle for you. My favorite local spot this afternoon was a bustling, happy place; but I can only imagine things will deteriorate gradually hour by hour. Ha.

However you are spending this beautiful evening, I hope you are happy and feeling loved. Truly. I am thankful for you and have love to spare because it has been heaped upon me.

fireplace-boys-c

Already late November. And in Oklahoma our weather only just cooled down, my chartreuse sweet potato vines only turned black two days ago, so the suddenness of the calendar is mixed with the weird anti-climax feeling like summer just ended, sort of, but also in a far away dream? Our autumns here are not like other autumns. They are elusive and indecisive.

pumpkins-nov-2016-c

New topic. I need to prepare for something and hope you’ll join in, maybe help me:

Is it funny-not-funny to anyone else that we are thrust into the holiday season immediately following such a pivotal and hotly contested election season? LOL. I mean, I’m not really LOL-ing, but I’m trying.

And it is definitely not that I have any disdain for the holidays. I treasure each of them. It’s the election and all the fallout that have me wound up. And at the holidays we spend time with people we don’t see very often. People we love, of course, or else why would we gather? But the relatively (no pun intended) brief gatherings can be a bit risky. We don’t necessarily have that smooth, easy, conversational rhythm set in place, you know? There is often a little rust that needs kicking off. And Thanksgiving dinner is just the beginning of about seven weeks of celebrating.

Cut to the chase: Either people agree on hot topics and can openly discuss them in safety and commiseration; or people disagree and get into fights, clinging to beliefs over bonds. God forbid either of these happens when people are wildly inebriated. I get nervous just thinking about the fallout of a political “debate” rising up like black crude in the otherwise verdant wildflower meadow of a family gathering.

To further this ridiculous metaphor, I guess it could be true that political discussions are nourishing to our families, like oil to our modern society, but MY GOSH it scares me. I vote for the meadow, ok?

Here’s the opposite extreme: I also don’t want to waste our precious time with family and friends time skirting so delicately around key topics that we only manage small talk. That’s weak.

There has to be a safe, beautiful, fruitful middle ground. There’s an ocean between these two dangerous extremes, right? Can we swim there happily, exchange some ideas and make some memories without hurting each other? I sure hope so.

I would like to tell you how sorry I am for all these mixed metaphors but really tomorrow we will start mixing foods, so oh well. Ha.

Okay, here are some possible conversation alternatives:

  • Weather lately (easy)
  • Health issues (obvious)
  • What is the weirdest thing you saw on your travels to get there?
  • What food are you most excited about? Do you know the recipe’s origin story in our family? Which recipes do you have memorized from making so long?
  • Do you know anyone who skips the holidays or eschews tradition? (Our friend Maribeth serves her family steak on Thanksgiving and they love it! And I love her.)
  • The year is almost over. Tell each other all about how your 2016 goals and resolutions are going.
  • What plans do you already have for next year? What would you do if money were no object? What would you do if you could not spend any money?
  • What stands out for you this past year? What prayers were answered? What have you learned?
  • How would you improve the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade? Carte blanche!
  • Design a new reality show casting everyone sitting at your holiday dinner table. (WAIT nope, better scratch that idea, haha. Never mind on that one. Terrible terrible idea.)
  • What reality shows would you maybe be on?
  • Thinking of the Native Americans showing the Pilgrims how to grow crops in a new land, what culture around the world would you most like to learn from? And, if not turkey and mashed potatoes, what kind of feast would you like to explore?
  • What is your favorite Thanksgiving kids craft? What is the dumbest thing you’ve ever seen?
  • Talk about charity efforts or community events or light displays.
  • Debate Black Friday ethics.
  • Talk about football.
  • Books and movies, music specials, and where to hike.
  • Specifically Christmas movies! What are the best ones? What are the worst?
  • Favorite SNL cast member or skit?
  • Talk about how much we all love Russell Westbrook and Steven Adams.
  • See who has the best story to share about a holiday kitchen failure.
  • Debate whether to let your food touch or not.

It goes without saying that for these family gatherings especially, but always, our hearts should be firmly set on gratitude. Drop expectations of each other and look for the best to shine through. It usually does. Resist the urge to compare and fish for conflict or hurt feelings. Feed the common ground you have, and it will only grow stronger. Show appreciation for each other, memorize each other’s faces, be sure your voice spreads only Love.

(I am telling myself all of this stuff, ok?)

Happy Thanksgiving!! I hope your celebration is everything you and your people need it to be. Please let me know how you plan to navigate things.

My favorite SNL skit is where Paul Simon and Victoria Jackson
smelt Christmas gifts on a desert island.
And I have had so many prayers
answered this year it’s not even fair.
XOXOXOXO

i love people who… (thanksgiving edition)

I love people who set the table with formal precision, using place cards and evenly spaced forks and multiple wine glasses. This makes their guests feel fancy and loved.

I also love people who buy colorful harvest-themed paper plates and serve the meal on TV trays to save that dishes-washing time for extra cuddling later. This makes their guests feel relaxed and loved.

I love people who fold linen napkins into amazing designs and also people who spin stacks of paper napkins into silly little spiral towers.

I love people who get a thrill from cooking the entire meal alone, to serve their loved ones in one grand gesture.

And I love people who divvy up the menu, throwing caution to the wind, and eat everything anybody brings.

I love people who make reservations at restaurants and spend every spare minute talking face to face with their people then tip their waitstaff generously as a holiday gift.

Folks who order full traditional meals from boutique grocers? Love those folks.

I once worked at the bank with a woman who had been so poor as a young, single Mom that for Thanksgiving one year all she could afford was a Spam and canned vegetables. She added what she could to the Spam, served it, and counted her blessings. I think of her every single year while I am planning and cooking way too much food. I love her and her story.

I love people who buy a stack of frozen pie crusts on sale in August then thaw them in November and fill them with canned fruit fillings, and I obviously love people who spend hours mixing their own fats and flours to get the perfect flaky crusts then fill them with peeled fruits they probably grew at home.

I love people who fall asleep watching the Thanksgiving Day parade, and I love people who go on nature hikes while the turkey roasts.

I love people who insist on playing football during the Thanksgiving party, or watching it on television, and I love people who write complicated toasts for their people no matter how botched they end up every yea (me)r.

Some families are good at discussing hot button political topics over stuffing and pumpkin pie. Others wisely eschew this minefield and get really familiar with each other’s day to day life instead. I love it all. (Have you seen the SNL skit yet where they use the new Adele song to dissuade an explosive family fight?)

I love people who deep fry their turkeys just as much as I love those who roast it the same way every year, using Grandma’s pan and secret method. I love people who brine the bird and people who brown bag it.

I love the canned-cranberry-jelly citizens out there in Thanksgiving Land, and I love my grandmother’s raw citrus-cranberry relish and all who love that along with me.

Some people search out every traditional family recipe they can find, and others reach for a more global, cosmopolitan vibe for the Turkey Day menu. Still others (like the Snapp family we know and love) opt for their own unique tradition of steaks and baked potatoes. I love all of these people. Maybe especially the Snapps.

My friend Carmel was the Indian to my Pilgrim way back in 6th grade, for a church pageant. I still wear this apron. xoxo
My friend Carmel was the Indian to my Pilgrim way back in 6th grade, for a church pageant. I still wear this apron. xoxo

The different ways that people celebrate this pretty cool holiday are just delightful. I so enjoy looking around and noticing that, for all our homogenization and structure (and retail saturation), we can be a pretty imaginative and various culture. We are good at honoring our roots while growing our wings. And that is beautiful.

This Thanksgiving, enjoy your details, whatever they may be. Celebrate your traditions and your quirks. Love your people harder than ever. That’s my advice. And give some thanks, actively. It matters.

Very Happy Thanksgiving to You and Yours
from The Lazy W, Oklahoma
XOXOXOXO

 

post-feast fitness reset

Okay. It’s the Monday after Thanksgiving, the dawn on a new day after nearly a week of relaxed standards. The first full day after several days and nights of eating pretty much anything I wanted, napping a lot, and not running or doing strength exercises at all.

This is not the way my fitness role models suggested we do it exactly, but it happened. And the thing is, I loved every minute. Sometime during the really fun process of planning our big family feast, I made the conscious decision to not only allow myself some indulgences; I would deeply and thoroughly enjoy it. I affirmed in my own heart the intrinsic value of traditional foods, soul-nurturing traditions, and shared meals. Extended cuddling sessions. Empty agendas. What good is “cheating” on yourself? You’re much better off accepting that you’re trading one pleasure (fitness) for another (conviviality*). We can take either pursuit to dangerous extremes, after all.

(*These are just my opinions. My emotional philosophies.)

So I’m not writing this today with any apologies for falling off my miles plan or my calorie restriction ideal. Not at all. Until late Saturday afternoon I had been feeling pretty amazing physically, and that brief sluggishness was easily corrected with a gallon of water, a couple of plain salads with a little meat on them, and some grateful, sweaty time on the elliptical.

Nope, no regrets. I loved feeling free to stay up late with my daughter talking about life and eating an un-rationed amount of Pink Stuff. I loved sitting and relaxing and crocheting hats with my sister- in-law while eating pecan pie with a cloud of whipped cream and perfect coffee. I ate turkey and homemade stuffing until I gobbled instead of giggled. The food was a big, wonderful part of the week for me, and so was the time with my people instead away from them. Handsome was off work for four days in a row, and choosing to not lace up and disappear for an hour or two was smart. It was good for both of us this year.

Buuuuuuuut………….

There’s always a big but, right? Especially after several days like this?

Sorry. Let’s try that again:

All that said, as emotionally refreshing as this break truly has been, I am just as ready for a thorough reset. My body craves activity, raw vegetables, and waaaaaay less sugar (all kinds of sugar). My mind craves the satisfaction of having treated myself well. And whether he will admit this or not, my husband is ready for my to siphon off some nervous energy and show up for our time together exhilarated, rested, slender feeling, and energized. All of that together. That’s what running, mild weights, and healthy eating does for me, so it also does that for us.

kale salad with pomegranate
Torn up raw kale with lemon, a drizzle of olive oil, and a whole bunch of pomegranate seeds. One of the simplest, most gorgeous salads you’ll ever scoop into your gravy-weary mouth!

 

So on this first day of December, as we move away from a magical and delicious Thanksgiving, as we tiptoe into wintertime and all of those related temptations and implications, I am making this new temporary pact with myself:

lazyw wintertime fitness plan

Simple enough, right? Just daily habits that are sustainable, flexible, and completely geared toward living fully and feeling amazing. That’s what I want. To have a full life and feel great day to day. If along this path my jeans size diminished a bit, then so be it. If not, I’m happy with that too.

How are you feeling physically, post feast? Do you deal with guilt after indulging, or are you at peace? What was you favorite amazing food this past week? How do you plan to care for yourself this winter? Tell me everything!

Take care of your body.
It’s the only place you have to live.
~Jim Rohn
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

thanksgiving grocery prep

It was Tuesday around 4 pm. My original plan was to drive straight home from garden class and get started on some housework then maybe go for a run before nightfall. But Handsome called me and made the very wise suggestion that I buy our Thanksgiving feast supplies now, if possible, because of some chatter he’d heard on the radio. Something about “record-setting shoppers” and “everyone in the civilized world is off work on Wednesday.” Crazy, slightly intimidating stuff. Even my idea of grocery shopping in the wee hours Wednesday morning might have been not quite enough to avoid the chaos.

Well. By chance I had my list with me, a three page list to be exact, a yellow legal pad filled with recipes and seating charts and what to buy from which store and in what department. I was wearing my super duper comfy plaid sneakers. And I had a fully charged cell phone. Ready for elbowing my way through at least half of my impressive list. Expecting stress.

I’m a list writer.

And a little bit of a worrier, despite my best efforts.

And I’m easily impressed.

On to my favorite grocery store in nearby Midwest City!

Friends, I want to tell you that after one deep breath and a forced smile, I was in for a wonderful surprise! Last night’s hunt (hunting is exactly what it is, am I right?) was a total pleasure. From beginning to end, I actually had a good time. Everyone there was happy, smiling broadly at each other and practicing Grandma-worthy manners. No children (and there were lots of children around) were screaming. Every aisle was sardine-packed with people and their heavy carts, but instead of competing with each other, we all were helping each other locate and reach needed items. I hope to never forget this particular woman who was searching for flaked coconut in the baking aisle. She was met with at least four happy, anonymous neighbors helping her get exactly the bag she wanted, without having to maneuver her cart. I watched the bag of coconut pass hand to hand like a passenger in a confectioner’s mosh pit until it reached its grateful cook. And everyone cheered when the mission was accomplished! Hilarious.

I got a dose of instant Christmas spirit last night, just shopping for Thanksgiving! It didn’t hurt that the store was piping in gentle, low volume Christmas carols. I sang out loud and danced a little while exploring the aisles.

 

lazyw Thanksgiving groceries
I snapped this photo about halfway through my market expedition.

 

My Mom and I chatted on the phone throughout the magical shopping trip, reviewing family recipes and letting the excitement for Thursday build between us. I found everything on my list. The butcher knows me and helped me find steals. The produce guy is about the nicest man ever and made sure I got the biggest fans of kale and prettiest oranges, as always. Butterball turkeys were half off! My cashier was the funniest girl in the world who is always trying to get me to try this particular Mexican orange soda (it’s possible her sweet disposition caused me to save $20 or $30). And when I finally wheeled our massive bounty from the sliding electric doors to my waiting Jeep, I caught a glimpse of the sunset, streaked red and purple, gold and silver. The crescent moon hung seductively between some wispy clouds, and I couldn’t wait to get home to my guy. On Twitter late in the evening I noticed that my sweet friend Rose had been admiring the moon too. It really was captivating.

 

A previously clean and clear, delicately dressed buffet table in our dining room is now loaded to the max with gorgeous raw materials for cooking. We are so blessed.
A previously clean and clear, delicately dressed buffet table in our dining room is now loaded to the max with gorgeous raw materials for cooking. We are so blessed. Blessed beyond reason.

 

So what is on the Lazy W menu?

Strong coffee, bacon, and cinnamon rolls for breakfast, for those who come early while the feast is being prepared. Then turkey (times two). Ham. At least two different stuffing recipes. Egg noodles from scratch. Julia Child’s garlic-mashed potatoes. Canned cranberry jelly (Handsome’s favorite) as well as raw citrus-cranberry relish. Marshmallow-roasted sweet potatoes. Scalloped sweet potatoes by Katie. Piles and piles of homemade rolls. Kale-pomegranate salad with olive oil and sea salt. Green bean casserole. Pumpkin pie. Pecan pie. Chocolate fudge cake. Lemon Ice Box Pie. Pink Stuff. And much more. We are planning a feast for the eyes and the belly. A great binding for a farm-full of people.

 

It is frozen rock solid as of Tuesday at 8 pm. Will it thaw in time?
It was frozen rock solid as of Tuesday at 8 pm. Will it thaw in time?

 

Today, the prep day, is going to be so much fun! I am incredibly grateful for the freedom to stay home and do this. To enjoy this process and fill every room in our home with love and decorations and yummy calories. I am unreasonably excited to brine this ample bird. To spend all of Wednesday loving this turkey. Flavoring it with dried sage from our own little herb garden. Adorning its white platter given to me by my Dad years ago. Giving thanks for its fatness. Etcetera. (Update: as of 8 am on Wednesday, it is softening in a sink of cold water. Thanks Melissa!)

 

I am loving the freedom to dress and decorate every table any way I want to! Different fabrics, fresh fruits, candles, and more. So fun.
In addition to food adventures, I am loving the freedom to dress and decorate every table any way I want to! Different fabrics, fresh fruits, candles,poetry maybe, and more. So fun. The celebration of a holiday in our home fills my heart to the brim!

 

I am bursting with gratitude for sure.

So “Happy Thanksgiving Grocery Wednesday,” friends! I hope that if you are out in the retail world today, your expedition is as charmed as mine was last night. If you are home rolling out pie crusts and brining poultry, ironing cloth napkins and searching for extra chairs, I hope you enjoy every minute. I hope you enjoy it all so thoroughly that you never furrow your brow. That you smile widely and giggle a lot. I hope you play music and wear your favorite necklace and get a surprise note or phone call from someone who makes your heart leap.

I hope you forget to count calories, because you are so busy counting blessings.

Now? I better sign off. Lots to do before the big event tomorrow. Lots to enjoy in every way.

To be sensual, he wrote, is to respect and rejoice 
in the force of life itself,
and to be present in all that one does,
from the effort of loving to the breaking of bread.
~Judith Newton
Tasting Home, Coming of Age in the Kitchen*
XOXOXOXO

 

*book review coming soon!