Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

rooted & grounded

And just like that, we have leaped across the verdant threshold between seasons. My heart is filled all over again with excitement for the coming gardens and with hope for so many yet-unanswered prayers. I know I say that a lot, about hope, but please know that we also celebrate the brick-and-mortar resolutions, the answers, the rewards of waiting and hoping, all the time. Our world lately has been riddled with both good news (really good news), encouragement to expect more of it, and some healthy perspective about how much worse life often is for others. Gratitude is not strong enough a word to express how I feel about it all. I am in awe of what God has been doing for us and the people near us.

Jessica planting some joyful color in her apartment courtyard garden…xoxoxo

Seeds are germinating left and right. The Peeps have officially outgrown their indoor trough home and have moved to the flight pen outside. Broccoli, cauliflower, and cabbage starts are suddenly voluptuous; their neighboring snow peas are tendriling upwards on arched cattle panels; and the Mouse Garden is a thick, highly textured bed of kale. Kale!! The Yukon Gold potato box has sprouted with food, and what so far looks like just green confetti will very soon be full ruffles of spinach, kale, arugula, and fancy lettuces. Last year’s chicks, now fully mature hens, are laying eggs regularly and eating all the wild clover I can pull from our new watermelon patch. The horses are shedding as thickly as the cottonwood is about to be blooming, and speaking of blooms, all four of our fruit trees seem to have kept their precious springtime flowers and are all set up for a heavy season of apples, peaches, and plums.

The house stays warm enough most days, now, even with the heater off and the windows open, to keep a sourdough starter going, and I bake fresh bread as often as we crave it. We stay busy outdoors so much longer these days, with the gradually later sunsets and mild weather, just moving easily and with great pleasure from one task to the next. Klaus keeps us company the whole time, and it is wonderful to find him exhausted instead of restless at the end of a day well spent. (My husband says he feels the same way about being able to exhaust me, ha! Hibernation is not for everyone.)

Our middle field especially is greening up, and just a moderate effort to scoop up and relocate manure is making a big difference. The compost bins have stayed so full that I recently started a second, much larger area for experimenting with a faster decomposition method. But now I think it’s too far away from a water source. Oh well, the honeybees love it!

My little herb garden is waking up from winter, and it is so fun to try and visualize what will return, where the truly blank spots are, how to reshape and replenish the small area. It’s a luscious intimacy, to know a garden for a length of time, to become familiar with its dimensions and habits and needs and wants. To know how it behaves in each season, what is asks of the gardener, what it offers in return. In the spaces between perennials, I am scattering seeds like cinnamon basil, dill, zinnias, and more. By Easter Sunday everything should be erupting there. Already, in this garden and in the areas flanking the vegetable gate, day-lilies and vinca have returned. I am so excited about the gomphrena and Mexican petunia. For now my eyes feast on the Jane magnolia petals falling all over the front sidewalk.

We have been craving to host an outdoor yoga night and will do this soon. The weather is just so close to being reliable, and we have only a short list of deck repairs to make first. Local and interested in moonlit yoga and meditation? Stay tuned!

The first three months of this gorgeous new year have been filled with incredible Love, satisfying work, plenty of restoration and deep breathing, and just good, plain, happy daily pleasures. Life at the W is not without stress and certainly out hearts have aches like everyone’s; but we have laid hold of some powerful antidotes and some very agreeable reminders for each other about what matters most, about how to shrug off distractions and quickly refuse energy siphons, and how to really sink in and enjoy the moments. Magnify pleasures. Minimize irritations. When either of us buckles from some outside pressure, I think we are pretty good at showing each other grace and welcoming each other back to paradise. Because paradise, really, is how it so often feels. For these things and much more, I am so deeply grateful.

One last update, I just finished The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. My sister Angela had recommended it, and I found it to be not just thought provoking but deeply confirming of so much I have already been considering. Lots to discuss if you have read this!

Happy Sunday, friends, and happy springtime!

Rooted and Grounded in Love
XOXOXO

holding space, and early march update & a new spin on optimism

In like a lion, out like a lamb. That’s the adage I’m celebrating right now, doubling up on the almanac’s confident assurances about an early spring. My local friends will argue that our frigid air temps of late have already proved that prediction wrong; but it was a brief blip on an otherwise sunny outlook. This too shall pass. Let’s cling to that adage as well, which brings me to my favorite reading material this week: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

Have you read this book, or are you listening to Oprah’s piecemeal interview with him, which dissects his other title, A New Earth? The material is such a luscious reinforcement to all the Buddhism we have been absorbing this winter, all the lessons on mindfulness, stillness, and impermanence.

And I may or may not have mentioned this here: For months now I have been receiving crystal clear direction from God to make space and hold it. I crave space in my body, in my schedule, in our home, even in my intimate relationships, though creating space there has been magically coupled with a new layer of more meaningful intimacy. I tried to rationalize it for a while but eventually relaxed and decided that simply doing it could become my daily practice. It has been lovely, and I am only just beginning.

One funny thing about space is that it tends to fill itself up if we aren’t watching. Physical space, especially. We recently sold one car and rearranged the others plus some gym equipment to other outbuildings and in so doing wound up with a completely blank car bay in the garage attached to our house, the one where I do laundry and have a potting/painting bench. How long did that space stay empty? Not very! We went to the feed store last weekend and brought home 21 newly hatched chicks and 2 tiny ducks. They now live in a heated metal horse trough in that “empty space,” ha! Our days since they came to the farm have been very peep-ish and our whole world is now totes adorbs. This kind of space filling is fine by us.

Let’s talk about the weather once more, and the seasons.

These recent weeks brought us freezing (truly freezing, not just hyperbole-cold-Oklahoma but actually sub-zero) temps and plenty of frost and ice. We fought off the despair of unceasingly gray, gloomy skies, wore layer upon layer of clothing but still shivered, and ate weird food that barely ever warmed us up. The tail end of February is always bizarre, right? Doesn’t it feel longer than all the rest of winter, combined?

Then, on Monday evening, the clouds parted suddenly and the sun shone on the farm just long enough to accomplish a dramatic stab of gold and bronze, fighting off the gloom, literally moments before dusk. We were sitting in the east living room when it happened, and the change in atmosphere deserved its own Vivaldi soundtrack.

Then Tuesday was ever so slightly more pleasant for being outside, and sunset on Wednesday took my breath away. This morning, before seven, I saw the eastern sky do that kaleidoscope twist where all of her pink and apricot colors churned and shone and cast a shimmering mix of lavender and yellow onto the basin of the western sky, just across our pond. It happens some days in a more kinetic way than others. It’s truly magical, and I love it.

Also, our only two adult roosters are fighting a little bit, no matter that they have a harem of seven gorgeous hens to share.

The pine forest has been weighed down with hefty flocks of visiting, screaming black birds.

The earthworms are wriggling into the warmest top layers of soil and compost.

The horses are shedding like crazy.

The bees are foraging on dried manure and dandelions.

And my heart just knows.

What I’m saying here, friends, is that springtime is happening. We knew it would!

All the seed trays, empty raised beds, and future watermelon patches will soon be ready for action.

Until then, more space making, More reading and cleaning and working and loving. More teaching ducklings to swim (like they need lessons) and more encouraging German Shepherds to appreciate every single romp outdoors, because the freeze is over, at long last.

A quick, gentle word about optimism, and this darling snuggling photo of Handsome with Maddie:

At our friend Maddie’s recent high school performance of Shrek, one song stood out to me and actually kind of hit me like a marshmallow sledgehammer. The character Fiona was singing a funny lament about how many years she had been locked away in her tower, about for how very long she had been wishing for her prince to rescue her (insert your own long-awaited miracle at this point). Then in the scene when it finally happens, when Shrek finally comes to release her from her bondage, she proclaims, “I knew it would happen TODAY!”

TODAY. Fiona knew, all those days and years leading up to her big moment, that her answer would come. She surrounded herself with evidence of other princesses and their unique moments of redemption. As her own waiting and captivity stretched on, she may have felt discouraged sometimes but still knew in some funny, weird way that it would happen today. The only detail missing was exactly which today it would be. And so, with that deep knowledge, she never gave up.

Okay, I will leave that with you for a while, to marinate. Please get back with me and share your thoughts. The whole notion that today is all we have, that this moment is all there ever is, that presence and attention are powerful, well, it will not let go of me. And it all leads me to crave more space. And I knew that springtime would eventually happen, that it would happen on some unknown today. And I know that all of our hardest-yearned for prayers will also be answered, on some very special today that is very much worth waiting for.

A final thought about Fiona? She waited, and she trusted, but her answer was still a miraculous surprise. Remember? It was not exactly what she imagined: It was far better. So friends, let’s stay open to the shock and trembling joy of all that is possible in our lives. Let’s crate and hold space for whatever is coming. And then relax back into the present moment.

I love you. I wish you only the best of every detail. Please come visit our baby peeps before they grow up.

“Past and future veil God from our sight.
Burn up both of them with fire.”
~Rumi
XOXOXOXO

a new take on prosperity & a very special birthday wish

A few days ago I was listening to an interview about authenticity, and the speakers’ conversation floated briefly to the topic of prosperity. Not material prosperity, though, or even physical, but rather all the things that support and promote our spiritual wellness. PRO-SPIRIT, you know? Prosperous. I love it. And that got me thinking all over again about the importance of rejoicing, or of RE-JOY-ING our lives. I became so lost in thought (I was running at the lake as I listened) that after a few miles of thinking and nearly bursting into tears (happy ones) I had no idea where the interview had gone and had to stop to back it up.

Prosperous. Pro-spirit. All the many things that support, promote, fortify, guard, and otherwise enhance our spiritual selves. To me, in my recent vernacular, my spirit self is my breath, too, so there’s a physical aspect to consider, though not exactly a material one. (Semantics? Ok maybe.)

Without much effort I was able to summon dozens of activities, conditions, and other life details that are thoroughly pro-spirit for me: Gardening, reading books, quiet devotional time before daybreak, perfect coffee, long deep conversations with my husband and close friends, running, hiking, certain kinds of music, warm vegetarian meals, romance, a clean, fragrant house, the exact perfume of fresh herbs, the feel of compost and rich soil, the color of free range egg yolks, hearing my parents laugh so hard they cry, long slow walks in every kind of weather, soft rain, crazy storms, sunshine, beach days, saltwater, cloud watching, star gazing, planning dinner menus and hosting big parties (really love this), also hosting intimate gatherings, the crunch of my spade into raw earth, upward vining flower stems, flirtatious doves, fuzzy horses, piano serenades, chocolate covered almonds, finding the perfect words for an idea… Oh maaaannnnn my list is long. And just reflecting on this list and the idea that we have so much power to feel better brought me to tears while running. It still does, as I write this.

Rejoice. RE-JOY-ing yourself. On those days, in those moments, when you feel drained and defeated, it is possible to actively grasp joy. You can choose it. In fact, we are instructed to choose joy. This is such a comfort to me, this understanding that if we are instructed to rejoice (to re-joy ourselves), then it must be a natural occurrence to sometimes lose joy, to be drained of it. It is part of an earthly condition. The need to refill our tanks does not necessarily reveal a mistake; it’s just part of life. And the opportunity to be a co-creator of something as powerful and transformative as JOY is just mind blowing to me.

lemon ice box pie with extra graham cracker crumbles

A few nights ago our Sweet Sperrys were at the farm for dinner. As we had dessert I asked everyone this question: “What does Rest and Recreation mean to you?” We went beyond hammocks and barbecue, in case the term “R & R” conjures up simply some weekend vibes. We talked about what things we do in life that help us actually re-CREATE ourselves. What drums up and rebuilds the essence of who we are as people? My husband and our two dear friends had gorgeous answers to share. The four of us, not surprisingly, had plenty of overlap but also gobs of uniqueness between us. Something all four of us identified in some way was some kind of making or building. It got me thinking of our opportunity to be co-creators with God. That, really, is an amazing gift. And I love that three of my favorite people grasp it.

Circling back to the interview about authenticity… It would not serve any of us very well to seek “re-creation” or prosperity according to someone else’e idea of self, no matter how much we like or admire that person. That is imitation, and it is exactly what creates the aching void, never what fills it. And this points to how intricate and fascinating we are as individuals, how each of us, no matter how much common ground we may share, has a very specific and widely varied idea about a great recipe for re-creation, of how best to re-joy ourselves, of what we can find to be pro-spirit in daily life. I love that. I love the kaleidoscope of personality and the rich texture of humanity we can experience, just in a small group of loved ones.

Side note: Do you ever feel sad to realize you will never know pretty much all of the rest of the world? Ha. Sometimes I worry about dumb stuff that does not even matter and over which I have zero control. But there it is.

an alleyway of prayer flags at our OKC zoo
an alleyway of prayer flags at our OKC zoo
  • Prosperous = PRO-Spirit. All the things that support, enhance, guard, and fortify your spirit self. I want to live prosperously both for myself and for the people near me. I want to maintain an atmosphere of well being so that my loved ones feel charged up and nourished in their spirits as much as possible. And knowing that everyone is different, this requires a full spectrum adventure to really know each other deeply. That is fun stuff right there.
  • Rejoice = RE-JOY-ing yourself. An act of reclaiming JOY, of deliberately refilling your tanks and laying hold all over again of that sense of confidence and well being that is above circumstances, beyond reason, and often difficult to explain to others. (Let’s not waste precious energy berating ourselves for needing to re-joy, either. It’s normal.)
  • Recreation = RE-CREATE yourself, the essence of who you are as a God-made individual, not imitating someone else or following an external narrative or blueprint. Remember the “Joy of Missing Out” if that helps.
my brutha from anotha mutha

Today is our friend’s birthday. We have known Mickey for just a few years now, but we feel as tightly knitted as if we all grew up as siblings. Especially me, I don’t mind saying, because he and I had kinda similar childhoods and have reached the middle point of our forties with a spectacular twinness, if you allow that sometimes twins are exact opposites of each other, ha. We challenge and frustrate each other, but we have the best conversations afterwards too. We love many of the same pleasures in life, but we are on opposite ends of the “Noise and Energy” spectrum. I am a lot more fun, obviously. But he makes transcendental hand-rolled pasta, so there’s that.

Mickey is a creator by nature, a leader and a giver, a man with thoughts so deep you might think of the kind of water that gets too cold for bare feet, so you draw them up to your belly and it’s a little scary, but if you take a generous enough breath and dive straight down, you will eventually find a warm, underwater cave where you can breathe easily and see magical fish and rocks and coral that glow, even away from the sun. That kind of deep thinking.

Mickey is exacting in his standards for communication and task execution, a stickler for detail, a passionate cook and lover of dogs and black coffee and hand crafted everything. He is artisnal, and I borrowed that theme from him. He is a husband of more than two decades to one beautiful woman, Kellie the Courageous. He has a heart for service and giving and meeting strangers’ needs anonymously, because too much closeness is too much for him.

I know in my bones that, in the midst of some excruciating pain in the valley, Mickey trusts God. Mickey proclaims and asserts God’s power over the big and the small stuff. And he will enjoy the rewards of that kind of faith, in God’s perfect time.

I feel acutely thankful for this fresh thinking about authenticity and joy-seeking, because my life is rich with Mickey and Kellie and Handsome and our children and family. If we all manage to, at least most days, re-joy ourselves and re-create what makes us us, if we live pro-spirit-ously and make room for each other to do the same, my gosh. My gosh what a world.

Happy Birthday, Mickey!
Get to Re-Creating.
Go Prosper.
REJOICE.
XOXOXOXOXOXO

happy new year from the lazy w!!

Happy New Year! The first day of a sparkling new season, a meandering story certainly worth telling. I am so happy to still be here writing, trying to document our life stories and capture some of the learning curve along the way.

welcome to my denim tuxedo life & poor selfie skills

Regarding the above photo, two things: I am very excited to soon finish some extensive dental work that could end a lifetime of front-tooth replacement drama. This means I might soon smile for photos with my mouth OPEN, ha. Also, I am loving winter garden tasks lately. So much. Just looking at this, I can smell the cedar and feel the crunch of leaves.

How are you? How was your December-January threshold celebration?

Our last day of 2018 was quiet and well spent. Yesterday while Handsome was at the Commish, I took down all of our Christmas decorations and started cleaning the house. Klaus helped by requiring lots of fetch in between. I also grabbed my final run of the calendar year and started cooking and setting up for a casual dinner with Mickey and Kellie. We had “church” on Monday evening this week, and it ended up being a sweet and perfect New Year’s Eve, just the four of us. I promise to tell you about this project soon, as in this month. Pinky promise.

After we hugged a lot and the Sperrys went home (around 10 p.m.), Handsome and I got into some pajamas and cuddled up to read aloud our 2018 Grievances. This is only the second year we have done this, but we both know it is a favorite tradition that will likely stay with us for the rest of our lives.

our fake grievances accumulated throughout the year

It’s so simple, too. We just keep a large empty jar in our bedroom and a supply of blank slips of paper near it. Both of us are free every day throughout the year to scribble down little memories and love notes, details of daily life we want to remember. As with yours, our life is brimming with variety and roller coasters. The details each of us chooses to harness are a lot of fun to read at the end of the year! We cover everything from romance and super romance (brown chicken brown cow, haha) to family updates, farm projects, stressors overcome, community stuff, funny animal stories, excellent meals, and all the stuff in between. You name it, one of us has documented it in short sentences and messy handwriting.

So we accumulate them all year long. Then on New Year’s Eve, at least an hour ahead of the countdown, we take turns reading aloud the other person’s notes. Oh! We call them “grievances” because at some point in 2017 a joke started about filing grievances, something funny, I don’t remember now because we forgot to write that down, ha!

Example, an entry of mine following our Second Annual Talent Show which was rained out and which my husband rescued in one million vital ways:

LOL

Anyway. It’s heartwarming and funny, and it is amazing how many big and little events tend to otherwise blur together or standout in weird ways until we read our real-time reactions to them. Does that make sense? It’s a tiny, easy little time warp into our own minds. The things that mattered to us on no particular days in the past. We both love it. And it is funny how many events we both chose to document, unwittingly along with the other.

Okay, moving on.

Speaking of writing and keeping history, this year one of my seven million happy intentions is to blog more regularly, to keep an actual account of daily life. I don’t know whether I have a specialty niche to offer the internet, but as they say, each of us is an expert in our own selves, in our own lives, so that much I can definitely offer. And I will gratefully and freely admit, my husband and I have built and enjoy a really beautiful life here on these nine acres. Lots to share if I just take the time. I hope you will follow along.

I am reading for the second time the small daily devotional called “Jesus Calling.” It was a soothing and inspiring little daily ritual for most of 2018, and I am excited to dive more deeply this year. Plus, I get to read over again the notes I wrote on each calendar date from last year. So much has changed in our life, so many miracles, so much growth! It’s going to be fun to re-experience all of that, including the hard weeks.

Today’s standout scripture is from Romans 12: “Be ye not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This speaks to me more vividly all the time. It all starts in our minds, truly. And I crave deeper transformation than ever before. As for the worldly part, also yes. Yes a thousand times. It takes effort, but resisting the push and pull of trends and bandwagons is good. Cultivating our own paths, learning to ignore outside pressures and actively choose to not be conformed, that is all so good and juicy. “The Joy of Missing Out” has been on my mind all month long. Ironically, I don’t feel like I have missed out on anything that matters. It’s a pretty nifty little paradox.

Romans 12:2

One of the television programs that made a big impact on us last year was The Kindness Diaries, and my husband especially has taken up the chance to connect with the show’s host and author, Leon Logothetis, via social media. As a result, he has received two books in the mail and is excited to read them. One is a memoir of the making of the show’s first season. The other is called, Live, Love, Explore. After my guy studied The Book of Joy with me, helped host that amazing discussion dinner, and then propagated that material to his friends and employees, I am so happy deep in my bones for this next experience.

Farm Census to Start the Year:

We still have two fat, sassy horses, Chanta and Dusty. Both male, both cut, both extremely affectionate and smart, but neither trained. No, before you ask, sadly I guess, we do not ride them. But we do love them so very much.

The Bachelors, a few years ago.

We have one slightly famous llama, Meh, who is approaching five years old. He was born here at the Lazy W to registered and beloved parents Romulus and Seraphine. Meh is one of those animals who is more than the sum of his fuzzy parts. We just plain love him to the moon and back. Meh was recently immortalized by local artist Emily Williams, and as long as I am lucky enough, the artwork is hanging in our living room. Pretty sure Handsome will scoop it up and take it to his office before long.

The Lazy W has two South African geese, one gander named Johnny Cash (we always say his full name) and one mostly blind, barely walking, still elegant and beautiful female named Mama Goose. We are amazed she is still with us after so many years, so much extreme weather, and so many predator encounters. We love her. We love them both.

Along with the geese we currently have nine chickens. Two of them are mature roosters, and the other seven are gorgeous little hens, all hatched here at the W. My “pet” is called Red Shoulder Chicken, so name because in good weather she has a penchant for hopping all the way up to my shoulder to perch. She rather demands (and therefore receives) lush and colorful kitchen treats before settling for pedestrian chicken scratch.

kiss ’em!

Lately we have been getting two large, heavy fresh eggs every day or so. Our hens are young. It will naturally increase as weather improves and the hens mature, but I also want to increase our laying flock this year. The trouble is that we want to keep them safe in the penned yard (hash-tag hawks and owls), but space is limited. We want them to be super happy and have room to play. We shall see.

Three barn cats grace us with their presence and for food and cuddles, and each of them has a distinct personality. Klaus loves them like the small, vulnerable siblings they are. He roughs them up violently and with great zeal. I taught him this.

Fast Woman still appears when the stars align, and I recently dreamed that she was shrinky-dink size but three times as loud as normal.

Also, of course, you know Klaus, and if you have been reading here very long you know Pacino, our adolescent macaw. We have some possible life-improving plans for Pacino his year. Stay tuned.

this snoot OK?? xoxoxo

Bobby Pacino, Macaw at large.

Have you ever taken a meditation class? Handsome and I and a few of our friends are flirting with the idea of attending some being offered near the farm, and a Buddhist Monastery. I am pretty excited. Reading, studying, thinking, journaling, and staying in contemplation are all easy for me. Quieting my mind, not so much. But I crave “spaciousness” and ease, and this could be a pathway to that. Plus, one of our happy intentions for 2019 is to explore other faiths. Love it. I will keep you posted.

Ok, I am so glad you stuck around for some thoughts and reintroductions to the farm. Again, thank you for reading. Thanks so much for giving me a chance to share some of the things I find to be truly amazing in this life.

“Happy Everything” xoxoxo

More than ever, I feel the cascade of Grace and Joy, and I am eager to write it all down. Happiest of the New Year to you, friends. I hope you can take hold of this wave of good energy and make it your own. See you again soon.

“We are all gardeners,
planting seeds of intention 
and watering them with attention
in every moment
of every day.”
~Cristen Rodgers
XOXOXOXO

holiday details I want to remember forever

Hi!! How are you, how was your Christmas week? I am still buzzing pleasantly from everything and also trying to take a breath, let it all soak in deeply.

Since, in the best ways, life remains too full for me to slow down and write thorough accounts of each little pleasure, I am seizing this quiet Saturday afternoon to at least mention some highlights from Christmas 2018. It was spectacular in more ways than I can relay. Our home, our family, our circle of friends, everything was drenched in grace and joy. It has really truly been a season of Love coming and going from every direction. Here are some of the memories I hope stay with us forever:

Walking through the Blanchard, OK Christmas parade with our Jedi OKC friends. Handsome was dressed as Batman from the waist up, ha! And he drove his Smokey & the Bandit car, which was laced with twinkle lights. So much fun. Just as the sun was setting, we saw a station wagon pull around the corner, topped with a huge tree and filled with people costumed as the Griswold family. We died from laughter.

I want to remember our fledgling outreach project with the Sweet Sperrys. All those tight hugs from strangers, the ongoing feeling of abundance and gratitude. All the random connections and shared prayers.

How side-splittingly hard my sisters and nieces laughed at Snapchat filters. Hashtag-hotdog-face.

And the fun of distributing gifts with my youngest niece, Kenzie. She is enthusiastic and generous, just like her mama!

May I never forget all the many stolen bits of raw cookie dough I enjoyed while baking so many multiple trays of so many different cookie recipes. All month long, from plain and simple to crazy and decadent. My favorites were the monster cookies and one that resembled shortbread and had orange zest, almonds, cranberries, and coconut. Ok, wait, also maybe the espresso-dark chocolate chip biscotti. I claim to not have much of a sweet tooth, which is true, but when homemade raw cookie dough is available, especially when said dough is loaded with extra textures, I am powerless. For some perspective: the Lazy W kitchen cranked out about 20 separate batches of sweets in a few short weeks. I snuck at least a little bit of each one. That, friends, is a lot of raw cookie dough commandeered by yours truly. I will run so fast in January, right? All that sugar and glycogen??

Let’s hang onto memories of Christmas Eve at my parents’ house and then Christmas Day at the farm. I want to always remember the several hours of cooking fresh Mexican food and the hard laughter and warm cuddles with nieces. I want to always remember how great it feels just to be with my parents and siblings, three generations represented, lots of complementary personalities and deep, abiding Love between us all. And the Saran Wrap game!! My gosh!

I also want to always remember my husband’s idea and the effort he made to surprise my Mom with Chinese food on Christmas Day. She had suggested we all go out to eat at a Chinese restaurant and then see a movie together, but the group consensus was a cuddle puddle instead. So Handsome’s gesture was just so thoughtful. I fell in love with him a little more when he made it happen, never mind that everybody was so stuffed we barely ate any of the food, ha.

How downright excited Klaus got every single time we drove him around looking at Christmas lights. He is so boyish and sweet, it hurts a little.

And his discovery of empty wrapping paper tubes. Over the course of the month, he shredded at least four and I am not allowed to throw them away. He continues to guard the slobbered little bits of cardboard as much as he loves his plush toys.

That house at southeast 44th and Harrah Road. My gosh!! It was so festive in daylight hours, with about fifteen inflatables, but at night? The Las Vegas of rural Oklahoma.

How happy and friendly the general public has been all season. Kind of amazing.

Time with my girls. And Jocelyn texted on Christmas Day!

Time with friends.

Downtime and daily routines with my boys.

Watching the pond and probably Meh through the upstairs hallway window. xoxo

Small Group Christmas reception! It was also our one year anniversary as part of this monthly gathering. We had lots of fun. I need to tell you more about this tiny community soon.

Paperwhites, to me, are a perfect expression of the gentle anticipation we all feel around Christmastime. The watching and waiting, the silent vigil, the growing excitement (ha!), and then all the fragrance when the white petals finally open. God with us, the coming, the fragrance of the Holy Spirit when He is near.

Oh. Guess what. I planted mine late this year, but they still grew tall and strong, green and glossy all the way through Christmas weekend. Then, true to the magic of the season, I saw white tufted blossoms sitting quietly the night Jess came to the farm to open her gifts this past Friday night. Is that not beautiful? I love how God orchestrates the details for us. I could never have arranged that on my own. And? He makes something so good (perfectly timed blossoms) out of my mistake (planting the bulbs late). Okay. Let’s remember that gift.

Amazon Prime. Amen and amen.

Glorious, easy, pleasant, miraculous Oklahoma weather. Good weather just makes everything so simple. Would a snowy wonderland be picturesque? You bet. But in our state, those rarely happen without the attendant ice storm, power outage, and car wreck extravaganza. So I will take the gift of springlike weather very thankfully.

Watching The Neverending Story at home, wearing pajamas, thinking about how beautiful the holidays have been.

Many of the details and lots of our traditions are the same as before. But this Christmas has felt different. It has felt different since summertime, really, and in ways that I suspect will last. This underlying sense of permanence makes every gift more glittering, every day glowier, and every every job more meaningful.

What is left to cause us fear? What is left to keep us from feeling joy? 

I mean it is all a stunning amount of joy, and this is the top of that iceberg. I loved Christmas 2018, and I love even more the confidence that our Joy is planted. God is with us now and always. Christmas cannot end.

“If our tigers and hunters are now gone,
then our futures can shimmer out of the darkness.”
~Mowgli, 2018
XOXOXOXO