Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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friday 5 at the farm, straddling seasons

Hey friends, hello! How goes your passage of time? The clocks here, and the calendars, still refuse to slow down. We often catch ourselves looking up with bewildered expressions, asking each other what day it is, what year, and again for good measure, are you sure it’s already Thursday? Already September?

That cannot be right.

Thankfully the days and weeks are packed with work well executed and memories well crafted. We are buoyed by extravagant laughter and nourished by even more extravagant food. So, if time seems to be accelerating, at least we can feel sure that we have redeemed it all for the best treasures. I do think we have.

((hydrangeas fading into their autumnal glory))

Here are a few headlines, in classic Friday 5 at the Farm style:

ONE: Handsome’s birthday week was rock solid and glittering and, worth remembering forever, covered with a lavish mountain of hypoallergenic foam and sprinkled with disco lights. We first celebrated with our hilarious neighbors who donned shark and mermaid costumes just to make him laugh, then at his office with the Pubic Utilities Division (forever in our hearts), at a gala downtown (we sat alone at a table for twleve but had great fun together), in Bricktown with a small group of fun seeking friends (only one bone was broken), at the farm with even more friends (barn movie and FOAM), and daily, just the three of us, in as many small, sweet ways as we could manage. We even indulged in a double date night with Jess and Alex. Handsome reported feeling very loved and celebrated, which makes my heart happy. He is the engine that keeps so much in this world running and moving forward, and he certainly tends to give more than he receives. So at least at his birthday, I love seeing him spoiled rotten!

TWO: The middle seasons have begun their long, slow ceremony of changing guard. Summer is folding up her threadbare and wrinkled flag solemnly, advancing one measured step at a time toward Autumn, who yawns and rolls her shoulders, blinking without an agenda. She is ready but in no hurry. Autumn will steal no glory from Summer, because she knows that once we settle into her embrace we will not look back. We’re all a little tired. Still, the landscape still boasts more saturated color than muted. Flowers are still blooming. Tomatoes, basil, and eggplants are still offering us their final promises. And our air conditioner is still keeping the house cool and fresh, for a few more days at least. This is the in-between, the bridge, the weeks in Oklahoma when anything could happen and often does. I intend to absorb and enjoy the details as they come.

THREE: I remain deeply thankful for a farm full of healthy animals. Chanta and Dusty are thriving in their fatness and rippling muscles, good teeth and less troublesome hooves. The cows are enjoying their preordained romance, to the extreme most days, and have you heard that Scarlett has been sleeping in the wild coreopsis? Most mornings, if I do not hear her mooing early for breakfast, she is still asleep in that especially tall, thick patch of yellow flowers on the west side of the big barn. I will admit that we have not collected a fresh egg in over a month, but that might be due to the flock being free range and definitely prone to laying in strange places, like open vehicles and soft hay bales. I recently discovered a clutch of fifteen eggs in a deep hollow below some Mexican sunflowers. Tricky girls. Mike Meyers remains the reigning champ of happy splashes.

FOUR: Speaking of gardens, whew! For someone who talks about this a lot, I sure do not seem to have any idea what I am doing, ha! That extra long stretch of 100-plus weeks with no rain was challenging, but still so much survived. Our water pressure troubles have been resolved, and I am back to watering on a cautious rotation. We have more cooling on the forecast, too, which will bring tangible relief. Now the name of the game is taking stock of what is still full of good energy and then babying those plants with every trick in the book. Any blank space that comes from removing weeds and spent plants will be given the chance to host broccoli, spinach, lettuces, carrots, kale, pansies, and a few more fall treasures. For the next several weeks I will be busy with the school gardens too, so available time to play outside might be limited this season. We shall see. Really, everything is fine. Not the lush and productive garden she was in July, but still beautiful.

FIVE: I have been a glutton for great reading and listening lately. Recently, I finished off another Abraham Verghese novel, this time Cutting for Stone. His writing is one of the most mesmerizing and thirst quenching reading experiences you can give yourself. Please choose a title, any title, and let me know how much you love it. I also finished The Stand finally, after many decades of wondering if it was for me It is!! Oh man it is. Stephen King is a crowd favorite character writer for good reason. I had forgotten. Also loving some good marathoning podcasts lately, but maybe I’ll save that for an upcoming running update.

Okay, friends, listen. As if to underscore how quickly time passes, let me admit that I wrote this “Friday 5” post exactly 8 days ago, intending to share it with you last Friday. Since then, we have enjoyed refreshing cool weather and more hot weather. I found the energy to run sixteen miles, most of it with my dear friend Sheila, the longest run I have tackled in a while. Jess and I had an incredible garden clean up day at her house then another spontaneous day of baking something extraordinary, here at the farm. We are all working and playing and loving each other left and right, even with an unexpected handful of sick days for my husband. Life is good. Life is beautiful in every way. I really that the days are so full we have to consciously stop and look aroudn to see what we are doing.

Happiest Friday ever to you.
XOXOXO

friday 5 at the farm: missed photos

First, here are two snapshots of Scarletta Jones providing composting services as I cleaned out a space for planting green beans:

((scarletta jones very interested in the fresh weeds I was pulling
from the vegetable garden May 2024))
((she mooed gently and followed me around the perimeter))

And here are at least five photos I missed recently because I didn’t have my phone in my pocket:

ONE: Rhett, standing to Scarlett’s immediate left, their shoulders touching, was licking her face over and over again like she was a popsicle. His eyes were wide open, and hers were closed, a contented expression. Their tails swished almost in unison, dismissing flies. I take lots of snapshots of them most days, but this is one I really regret not capturing.

TWO: Chanta driving all his weight onto his front legs in order to kick Dusty, vertical bucking bronco style, because he felt my ten minute tardiness in feeding them breakfast was for sure Dusty’s fault. Chanta’s coat is almost shiny now, very little winter fur remianing, and his belly is filled in luxuriantly. His leg muscles rippled when he moved to kick. His beachy mane flew wildly. I celebrate every day he shows such youthful vitality and always wish I had taken a photo of moments like this.

THREE: One of the Ex-Pat roosters from our sweet neighbors’ house next door has taken up residence with one of our bantam hens, who almost daily escapes the coop to be with him. There are at least three free range Ex-Pats, but this particular one is in love with this hen, and she clearly returns his affection. One morning recently she had gotten herself enclosed in a live trap (the kind you put out for raccoons, etc.), but I hadn’t noticed yet. I was working in the Circle Garden, and he traipsed up to me and tilted his head, clucked so politiely, with a quesiton mark inflection at the end. “Excuse me, Ma’am?” I talked to him for a minute then followed when he scurried across the yard and around an oak tree to the metal cage where his betrothed was waiting. I released her, reprimanded her gently, then watched them proceed to eat breakfast together. The food was nearby; he could have eaten without her but didn’t. I would love to have captured the look on his face when he approached me for help. And I would love to have a photo of them scratching up their shared meal, crisis averted.

FOUR: The early mornings have been foggy and rainy and moody, with smeared navy and grey skies and dramatic cloud patterns. I have taken zero photos of all the beautiful gloom, but I wish I had taken hundreds. Twice this week I did breakfast chores beneath a canopy of shimmering hidden lightning, and it was gorgeous. There will soon be a day when we are parched dry to the bones and crave this heaviness and thick moisture. I love it all but wish I had taken photos of the sky this week.

FIVE: I had a waking dream of Jocelyn again, and while that is not something you can take a physical photo of, I still wish I had it to see with my eyes over and over again. She will be twenty nine at the end of this summer, and despite the circumstances I feel intensely close to her. I feel her in my heart and against my skin, and in this waking dream I heard her voice. It is lower now, more womanly. Her girlish limbs are different. Stronger, more graceful. Her eyes have more maturity and experiece behind them, but they still sparkle, are still deep brown and glossy with ideas and grief and depth. I wonder if she has visions or waking dreams of me, too. If she has a sense for what has changed in her absence. If she knows how much she is missed but also how much she is trusted and loved and upheld in thought and prayer and conversaton. She felt preternaturally close to me during this vision, and I am so thanful for that gift.

“Keep joy in the front seat.”
~Courtney Dauwalter
XOXOXO

friday 5 at the farm: inspiration lately

ONE: The way Dusty, Chanta, Scarlett and Rhett wander and graze calmly inspires me to slow down and savor things more. They still get the zoomies occasionally and do move with a bit of urgency at actual meal times; but most of the day, these four legged babies are placid and measured. Watching them drops my heart rate and causes me to breathe deeply, which creates space for fresh ideas.

((Dusty with sunglasses. Our girl likes to dress her horse fashionably. He loves it. xoxo))

TWO: A week ago, some extraordinary writing crossed my path, and it left me rethinking careers, vocations, and how we apply and employ talent. I had always regarded professional business writing as a completely separate skill set than creative writing. I had always understood one to produce clearly expressed facts and opinions to the end of good decision making or informing and the other to use language to express ideas and explore nuance and beauty, imagery and imagination. What a revelation to me that the two might intersect. I am so inspired by this writer who uses his talent in flexible ways. The piece I read left me craving more, as if it were a novel; and it reminded me of the power of creative writing, how truths can often be more powerfully conveyed through allegory and metaphor. Thrilling, really.

THREE: I am inspired by so many of my friends’ gardens. The focus people have and the many varied themes and ideas they bring to life are amazing to me. We all are drawing from a similar pool of suitable plant life for this growing zone, but somehow every single garden looks completely different. And that is wildly inspiring. How wonderful to pause and shuffle the mouthwatering images in my memory and imagination and settle on something I want to create here. How exciting to think that God gave us these brightly colored flowers and vegetables as little finger-paints to do a craft for Him to put on His fridge.

((foudn on a sidewalk in a small town near a cute antique shop))

FOUR: I love to see women out in the wild wearing anything that obviously makes them feel great. Bonus points if it also looks comfortable, ha! I love seeing women walking alone, wearing unusual jewelry or flowy skirts, accessories that don’t seem to “match” but look incredible. I like tattoos that are only partially colored in. I like imagining the stories behind them, the lives being lived by the owners of those bodies and how things might evolve over time. These glimpses inspire me to escape the confines of my jeans-and-black-tank-top farm uniform and wear my beautiful dresses and necklaces more often. Will I get a silhouette tattoo and only partially color it in? That seems like a very Freshly Fifty thing to do. But no. Probably I will just opt for even more turquoise pendants.

FIVE: I am deeply inspired by my husband every time he musters the mental energy to spend a few hours in his car shop. It is part of his DNA, being a car guy, and it fulfills him when it goes well. Caring for classic cars is a multifaceted labor of love. It requires artistic vision, ever increasing technical knowledge, patience, physical stamina, and a little money. It can require lots of open ended time, collaboration with others, and complex decision matrices, too, which are tall orders in a life already saturated with heavy responsibility, emergencies, and long days being tied to others’ schedules and needs. So when BW changes out of his suit and into grease stained jeans and a worn out t-shirt, I am so happy. I am inspired by his conscious choice to invest in something that has historically brought him lots of joy. I am inspired by his ability to problem solve and pour his creativity into such needy beasts. Lately the needy beast has been his 1968 Camaro, the one car of his fleet he has owned the longest. Last weekend after several hours of labor, he said calmly, “She lives.” And it might have done more than just inspire me. ; )

What is inspiring you lately?
Let’s allow the hundreds of
ingrediemnts of life to make us better.
XOXOXO

friday 5 at the farm, daily rituals to thrive in quarantine (or any time)

Quarantine Day 55 according to my journal.

How are you holding up, friend, really? Are you safe and secure? Are you finding ways to cultivate health, and are you choosing joy as often as you see it as a choice? Are you learning anything from this bizarre life chapter, gleaning any new wisdom or opening your heart again to any old truths? Or are you barely scraping by, either physically or emotionally, wondering how you’ll make it through several more weeks or months of unknowns, when so many days are long and heavy as they are? Are you on a roller coaster, trading self awareness for depression, then back again? Are you connecting with loved ones deeply and often enough?

I think many of us can say yes to all of this, if not all at once, then in waves. And I think it is all pretty much to be expected. The good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. I am no expert, but this global experience sure feels like just a compression of the human experience, you know? The bitter and the sweet. The high and the low. And so a level measure of acceptance and a hefty sense of humor will serve us well.

Additionally, I find lots of comfort and strength in practicing the habits and systems I discovered in better times. I am leaning hard into those, then allowing space and breath to kind of take over from there.

For a Friday 5 at the Farm post on this gorgeous Mother’s Day weekend, I would like to offer five daily habits or rituals that really do seem to help me feel and perform my best.

1. SPIRIT: I try to read, meditate, and journal first thing in the morning. The perpetual devotional Jesus Calling has been my favorite for a few years now, and I love seeing notes in the page margins from past life chapters. I love reading inspirational material and absorbing directive scriptures while my heart is warm and pliable. Usually, after a good night’s sleep, my brain has lots to download into a spiral notebook, and that first cup of strong coffee facilitates it well, ha! This used to be a truly private few minutes of my day, but lately I have grown cozy with the habit of doing all of this in bed with one lamp on, while my husband watches first the morning news then an episode of Little House on the Prairie. It’s a sweet, mellow way to start the new day. And you wouldn’t believe the symmetry and harmony in the messages I am receiving!

2. WORK: My daily work is truly a pleasure and has for a long time been boiled down to a succinct list of “Minimum Daily Actions” which can be accomplished in about an hour. It’s just the basics that keep our house and animals tended, and the walk-about is my opportunity to plan further tasks. That leaves the rest of the day for all kinds of deeper housework or tackling interesting projects, but the first hour of work feels almost sacramental. I love getting dressed to do what absolutely must be done, and Klaus, my constant companion, loves it too. He knows the exact order of our chores, he knows our rhythm, and he understands a few phrases that signal changes. I walk and feed everyone and smooth things and align lists and supplies and give thanks, actively. This sets the framework for an easy, productive day, and it really can feel sacramental. Meditative.

3. MOVE: Daily exercise for the sake of exercise, something outside of normal activity, is a game changer. And for me, daily exercise apart from marathon training has been deeply refreshing. I try to give myself ninety minutes of conscious variety. Triggered by a little injury, I am learning to listen to what my body needs day to day, not just run all the miles. The time for that will return soon enough. For now? I am embracing the pleasures of yoga and strength and mobility work, with treadmill and trail miles sprinkled in, and hopefully soon we will ride our bicycles too. Movement equals energy and endorphins!

4. SKY WATCH: If at all possible, and it almost always is, I love to be physically outdoors when the sun rises and sets, and when the moon is visible. It does wonders for settling my spirit and helping me watch the slow passage of time. Oklahoma has famously picturesque skies, too. Such a simple, profound way to see what God does for us over and over again.

5. CONNECT: I am making a deliberate effort to make eye contact with my husband when he speaks to me, and to be a better conversationalist in general. Being alone most daytime hours, then being only in each other’s company after work hours, as much as we enjoy it, I tend to take him for granted. This is common, I know, but I want to be better than common. He is my favorite person, and I don’t want to waste these weeks of quarantine by slipping into sloppy autopilot. (Also, I am susceptible to losing my verbal skills entirely if I don’t make an effort to speak full sentences and use more than the baby talk I use with the animals. Anyone else? No, just me? Gulp.) Connecting with friends and family has been vital, too. Weekend Zooms, a virtualgame night here and there, a surprise day of chalk art, and lots more actual phone calls have all kept my most precious bonds thriving.

So that’s it! Five ways I am keeping myself more or less on a healthy track, more or less connected to a sense of purpose and wellness. What are you doing to feel your best? I would love to hear. And happy Mother’s Day weekend to my friends and family!! Talk soon. Love you.

This is temporary.
Soak up the beautiful parts.
XOXOXOXO

leak stop & friday 5 at the farm

Hello, and happy Friday! I have one million thoughts and feelings to share but will distill them a bit.

This week my cup is full, running over actually, and I am humbled beyond words. The outpouring of love from people in my inner circle has been so fierce that I almost cannot look straight at it all. I know what a gift it is right now, how it is meant to be accepted and kept, and I intend to keep it refilling my heart for a long time. So with some deliberateness, I am storing it up. My normal tendencies might have me diluting it all and leaching it away with negative self talk or listening to critics too much; so instead I am applying a leak stop to keep that from happening. Just thoughts and intentions, really, but it matters.

Five Stories This Week I Forgot to Tell You:

  1. KFOR visited the farm. News anchor Ali Meyer and her very cool photographer Travis spent a couple of hours with us on Tuesday, and we made lots of happy memories. I can’t wait to tell you all about this.
  2. Date Night! Also on Tuesday, Handsome and I had a date night exploring Factory Obscura in Midtown then feasted on Tex Mex, late in the evening. Have you been? To Factory Obscura? (I assume if you read this blog tat we have plenty in common and you have eaten Tex Mex at least three thousand times.) Factory Obscura is a fantastic immersive art exhibit absolutely bursting with texture, creativity, stimulation, everything. My husband liked it ok, haha, but he also was glad we attended for free with Yelp. It’s not for everybody. It is very much for me. I want to go again. Go with me?
  3. Chores around here are pleasantly caught up for mid-January. (Side note: I accidentally typed MUD January, and almost let it stay. Because it’s so true.) Christmas is tucked away, the fields are 80% clean, the animals are fat and happy (except for Zsa Zsa, who recently had a moment of conflict with Pacino), and the house is pretty organized and clean. I feel those happy, late winter urges to scrub walls and purge clutter, to add green houseplants and order seeds for spring. It’s great to be caught up so all of this can be enjoyed day to day.
  4. Marathon training is warming up. I feel amazing. On week four now, my mileage is solid, and the speed work and tempo runs are so exhilarating! I think I have a good plan going (Hansons Advanced), and I certainly have all the support I could possibly dream of. The race is in 99 days. Eek!
  5. Books! This week I am rotating between Atomic Habits by James Clear and The Universal Christ by Richard Rohr. It’s like approaching the same goal (wholeness and vitality) from two very different and complimentary angles (spirit and discipline). Next week I’ll read The Alchemist to be ready for a discussion dinner.

Okay, Handsome just left the room to make popcorn. I need to be part of that rainy day luxury. Thank you for touching base!

Oh! Bonus story, make this soup:

modified greatly from the original Run Fast East Slow cookbook

Happy weekend, friends. You are loved.

“Most people think they lack motivation
When what they really lack is clarity.”
~James Clear in Atomic Habits
XOXOXOXO