Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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duck tales, a-woo-hoo

February 17, 2021

Between what ages would a person be to have read the title of this blog post as a cartoon jingle, and what after school snack are you now craving?

On the first brutally cold morning of this artic storm in Oklahoma (in every where), our two ducks were so cold they were struggling to walk in the south coop, so we quickly brought them into the house to warm up. They took up residence in the downstairs (pink) baththroom and have provided loads of entertainment ever since. Their bathtub days are numbered, though, as the forecast continues to imporove, so I am sharing a few stories to really soak up the moment.

Rick Astlee and Klaus in a friendly stare off,
Mike Meyers Lemon doing his own thing as usual.

First, Klaus believes this is all for him. He believes we brought them indoors for his pleasure alone, and he has established a routine where two or three (or seven) times per hour he interrupts us, staring unblinkingly at us from his soul, and leads us to the closed bathroom door. The instant we open the door and he can see the ducks, his tail starts wagging. No, his whole, long, substantial body starts wagging. He grins wolfishly and pants in a baritone way, gazing left and right and in small, slow circles as Rick Astlee and Mike Meyers Lemon scuttle around the towel-lined bathtub. After a few minutes of tense but safely guarded interaction, we escort Klaus out and close the door. For the next three or four minutes, our gentle giant finds the nearest stuffed animal and thrashes it hard, violently I am afraid; then he runs back and forth across the concrete floor, smiling like it’s his birthday. Then he usually falls asleep. This routine is literally the first thing he does upon waking up in the morning and the very last thing he does before retiring at bedtime. We are powerless against his begging. I do not know how we will handle the emotional void when the ducks return to their chicken flock.

Next, the ducks are noisy. I mean, quacking is the least of it. They are big and strong (for ducks, at least, in my limited duck experience) and highly energetic. They make lots and lots of racket, especially when we run them some warm bath water to play in. Today as we exited the bathroom for them to swim peacefully alone, they went bezerk. Mike Meyers Lemon especially flipped upside down, spun in tight little counterclockwise circles, and dove repeatedly, in that wonderful dramatic duck-swoop way, into the foot-deep warm water. It was quite a sight. Even without the water to splash, though, they climb and wrestle and pitter patter nonstop until about 9:00 p.m. It’s amazing and sweet.

Also, my favorite beach towel: Will my favorite beach towel, which I grabbed that first day to warm up the ducks, ever be the same again after their indiscriminate filthiness? No. The ducks defacated all over it and embedded seed like it was a mosaic project. Goodbye, blue and green sea turtle beach towel that was the perfect length for me. You died a noble death. Thank you for all the paperback reading-sunburn-on-the-deck memories.

The ducks’ indoor adventure has coincided with the widespread energy crisis in Oklahoma (and beyond), at the epicenter of which my husband has been working an average of 16 hour days. He is virtually undistractible while working this hard on something this important; but today at a relatively calm moment, he heard the ducks’ chaos from his upstairs office. My tall, handsome, super smart, thunder-and-lightning bolt husband appeared just to playfully reprimand our temporary houseguests: “You ducks better caaaallmmm doooowwn! That’s enough! You’re being crazy! We are gonna have to burn this bathroom down after this!” Sadly, they ignored him wholesale and continued their white water party. This man has been crafting large scale, unheard of solutions to unprecedented crises all week long, fearlessly confronting people in much higher positions than his. And then he was ignored and flatly disobeyed by a pair of two year old water fowl.

One more note about the ducks’ indiscriminate filthiness: The smell is pretty special. Have you ever been to, like, a herpatarium at the zoo, and there is also a cat’s litter box in there for some reason?

The End.

1 Comment
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: animals, choose joy, ducks, farmlife, gratitude, Klaus

romance right now

February 14, 2021

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends! Is your romantic celebration looking different this year? Ours definitely is. And I actually love it.

My husband has been working extraordinary hours this month. His normal Commish responsibilities, plus the weight of legislative season, all compounded by the ongoing complex problems brought to the utility industries by this crazy weather… The man is giving it all, 24/7. Although we have been together at the farm pretty solid since mid March of last year, these recent weeks he has felt a bit absent. Even when he emerges from his upstairs office, he is barraged with phone calls, texts, emails, and ongoing new emergencies at all hours of the day, every day. We never know how much down time we are going to enjoy together.

This may sound a bit grueling for our marriage, like a low key complaint, but that’s not at all how I mean it.

Not only am I immensely proud of the work he does, and the fact that he is happy to pour himself into it, but also I see a few beautiful daily constants remain for us:

We always drink coffee together in the morning; we never miss dinner together; and we always go to bed at the same time. There are plenty more sweet, unexpected ribbons of time together throughout each day, for which I am thankful, but the other day it struck me that those three rituals seem to be non negotiable. What a gift.

I am thankful that we have such a well established rhythm and harmony, so we can absorb disruptions of every variety and remain in step. I am thankful that our feelings come from somewhere deep, like abundant well water, rather than from intermittent rainfall. We can keep up with shifting circumstances, and I love that.

This snapshot was taken in the French Quarter at a very cool little artists’ walk we both love. He was refusing to let me smooch him like I wanted to. Then he grabbed me and held me up in the air. xoxo

For posterity, I feel like documenting what romance looks like this Valentine’s weekend, in pandemic, during an historic winter storm, while my man is purely exhausted from his day job:

Romance in times like these can look like chopping the frozen pond and troughs several times per day.

It can look like taking overlapping conference calls in ear buds so he can drive to town and buy horse blankets because his wife is worried sick about Chanta and Dusty.

Romance can be grocery shopping together well ahead of the snowstorm and unceremoniously handing each other boxes of chocolate to take home, then laughing out loud inside our masks like it’s the best joke ever.

Romance, in fact, is laughing together every chance we get, at anything we want. It’s also watching documentaries together, and freely criticizing strangers who join cults.

Romance is trading prayer requests with each other, for the people each of us talks to separately, as well as updating each other on good news and difficult news. Romance is counting our blessings as if it is the counting of them that makes them real.

Romance turns out to be old school, crayon-decorated coupons for massages that he is too tired to give and future outings that we cannot guarantee, because the tradition is old and good and happy. Romance can be homemade brownies filled with chopped up candy bars. Steaks that are sort of shaped like hearts and layers and layers of silky, fuzzy blankets.

Romance is obsessively loving every single animal together, so much. It is wearing your black felt cowboy hat and winter coat with the upturned collar (so sexy) to gather shivering ducks so they can warm up in the bathtub and then cuddling an overly attached a cat who won’t stop fake nursing our blankets. Romance is clearing ice from horse hooves even though your sweatpants are making you crazy and your eyes hurt.

Romance is troubleshooting every single cool breeze you detect and investigating every sound that might be a troubled pipe.

Romance is checking on your friends together and being proud of the kids together.

Romance is selecting television distractions that won’t drive your wife too crazy and playing UNO even when you are dead tired and she mostly wins. : )

A different hat than he gets to wear this week, but honestly he wears them all so well.

Sometimes romance is jewelry and rose bouquets, fancy restaurant dinners and cologne. But we have no need of that stuff now.

Gulf coast getaway 2019

Soon, babe, we will get dressed up, go out on the town, and maybe even travel. Until then, I am happy to get bundled up and care for the farm together.

I am so happy to cook our dinners and desserts here, take hasty hot showers to protect the septic field, and live thereafter in soft pajamas. These nine acres are paradise to me, and you make it all better. You embody all the romance in the world, and I am so glad you are still my Valentine.

NOW DRAW FOUR BITCHEZ
XOXOXOXO

2 Comments
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: choose joy, daily life, gratitude, love, marriage, romance, Valentine's Day

lots of random updates including a wedding photo & a recipe

February 6, 2021

My sweet parents joined us at the farm on Wednesday night for dinner and just catching up. I made my version of all-day Indian food, which amounts to Tikka Masala made with boneless chicken thighs (soaked for hours in spiced, full fat Greek yogurt), several large discs of garlic naan bread (I definitely overcooked a few of them), some steamy jasmine rice, and heaps of garlic-roasted broccoli. We ate well, enjoyed much needed conversation, and laughed so much. During dessert (simple brownies) we watched the kids’ wedding video and photo slideshow, and Handsome and I told them lots more stories from their third grandchild’s wedding. They laughed and wept and smiled the whole time. It was hard and strange for none of the bride and groom’s grandparents to attend (due to covid restrictions), but as always my parents just rolled with it. They were happy to see everything in photos and hear about all the details and special moments. They celebrated with us as if they had been there. Nothing but love and support.

How wonderful to have my parents here, near me, alive and healthy and engaged in life. I look around and see so many friends who don’t have their parents or who don’t have this kind of warmth with their parents, and it only deepens my gratitude. Mom and Dad have walked us through so many chapters in life, many of them easy breezy, many of them terrifying and uncertain. They just don’t shy away from anything. And they’re lots of fun.

Here is a photo of Jess and me at her wedding. I cried thousands of happy tears that weekend, just overwhelmed by and speechless from the deepest joy, very much like when she was born. Around the moment this photo was taken, she said, “Mom I think you’re gonna dehydrate.”

Okay.

I finally ordered most of my garden seeds, whew! They will begin to trickle into my turqouise mailbox over the next few weeks, and I will use the broad tables and bright windows in the upstairs Apartment to give them the best possible start in life. I have also begun the annual Clearing of the Oak Leaf Ocean outdoors, which is easily the most laborious precursor to the growing season. Also one of the most exciting jobs, because it means winter is literally being swept away. Our compost bins are all full and cooking away nicely. Very ready to feed the soil.

I want to relocate our two ducks to the front coop to try out some companionship living with Johhny Cash, the lone gander. He is peaceful enough with the chickens and roosters but does seem a bit lonely since Mama Goose passed. Plus, Rick Astlee and Mike Meyers Lemon are occassionally agressive to the small hens in the south coop. I think the big girls up front have a better chance of putting them in their place. I am sure this is riveting to you. I promise to keep you updated whether you like it or not.

They used to be so small and harmless.

Also in poultry news, the girls are laying like crazy! One new hen up front is laying mint blue eggs, which is thrilling to me. Maybe I should name her Tiffany.

Handsome and I both needed a little sweet indulgence today, so I made a small pan of “Chocolate Peanutbutter Oatmeal Bars.” Here’s the easy recipe:
BASE: Blend together the butters and sugars, add the egg, incorporate flour, baking soda, salt, and vanilla, and oats. Spread dough in a prepared small, deep dish baking pan (I used mine that is just smaller than 9×13), bake at 350* for 20 minutes.
1/2 cup butter, melted to brown then cooled.
1/3 cup peanutbutter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 plain white sugar
1 large egg
tsp baking soda
pinch salt
tsp vanilla
1 c flour
1 c oats
FROSTING: Making frosting while bars bake. Just blend together 1 c powdered sugar with 1/2 c peanutbutter, add milk or cream until you get a spreadable consistency.
FINISH: When baked bars come out of the oven and are still warm, sprinkle with 1 c of chocolate chips (more if you are a happy person). As they melt, spread and smooth the chocolate gently over the top of the bars. Eventually, dollop the peanutbutter frosting on top and spread that too, then allow to set up a bit. Very good with ice cold milk.

Chocolate Peanutbutter Oatmeal Bars

A quick word about running: Over the past several months I have been rebuilding gradually and carefully, leaving extra energy on the table and being really careful about soft tissue happiness and joint mobility, also trying my best to be patient about pandemic time management, life balance stuff. And it is paying off. Yesterday I ran 12 miles for the first time in months, and it felt amazing and actually easy. I had loads of extra energy to spare, and nothing hurt. The feeling of being in tune with myself and at ease with life is just irreplaceable.

I have recently finished reading two few books that were straggling on my shelf of good intentions, and for very different reasons I am so glad to have read them:

Fear Itself: the Causes and Consequences of Fear in America (bu Ann Gordon, L Edward Day, and more, it’s a heavy research book)
The Pull of the Moon (by Elizabeth Berg)

With a little luck I will post reviews on each book this month. Have you read either one?

As I close up today, I am happy to see emails notifying me that two of my three giant seed orders have shipped. I might celebrate by eating another cookie bar and doing a few yoga stretches, because no running today.

Have you every been in a cult?

Over and out!

Don’t join a cult.
Just grow a garden
and bake something.
Maybe go running.
XOXOXOXO

1 Comment
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: choose joy, covid19, daily life, dessert recipe, ducks, family, gardening, gratitude, Jessica, parents, running, wedding

surprise wedding announcement!!

January 28, 2021

Have you heard our family’s big, happy news?
Jessica and Alex tied the knot!!

These sweet, smart young people have been loving each other for a couple of years now. They have felt committed and were living their lives as a team already (we absolutely love them together). And on Saturday, January 16, 2021, they said their vows and made it official in a tiny, intimate, purely blissful ceremony right here at the farm.

We really could not be happier or more proud of them both. Since they started dating, life has dealt them a series of violent blows, above and beyond Pandemic. And through it all Jess and Alex have worked hard and pursued their educations, learned each other deeply and rapidly, nurtured their friendships, woven each other into their respective families (we feel so connected to Alex’s family!), and created their own little culture of romance and domesticity. Plus they adopted Bean, ha!

Handsome and I have felt lucky to walk alongside them these past couple of years, getting to know Alex, witnessing their unique rhythms and their powers to overcome hardship. They have done more than survive; they have thrived. Grown and evolved. Made memories together. Lived life fully, as it meant to be lived.

When Jess called me (on January 2nd, two weeks before the ceremony!!) to tell me they were engaged, I was beyond thrilled but not the least bit surprised. Getting married was truly the most natural thing in the world for these lovebirds.

Their Wedding Day was magical in every sense of the word. Despite the January cold, we all felt that unmistakable glow of Love present among us. Sunshine sparkled. The flowers were intensely bright against the dormant landscape. Everyone smiled constantly “from ear to ear” as Alex later observed. We laughed a lot and filled our bellies with homemade Mexican food and lots of decadent cake. It was a real, true celebration of Love. A day saturated in romance and deliberate living. There was lots of playfulness, too, haha! Don’t worry, Alex caught her:

One day soon I will write about how it feels for my baby to be a married woman now, to share this particluar life experience. I suddenly cannot imagine her any other way.

Cheers to the future, Jessica and Alex. Marriage can be the best, most powerful human partnership, especially when it is infused with God’s power. It can be the foundation of all your life dreams come true and can allow you to be of greater service to others, which I know you both value. May you continue your adventures, taking time to nurture the world you create together and discover new and amazing versions of joy. We know you will love each other better and better, day after day. You are beautiful together, and we adore you both (and Bean, hehe).

Lean On Me
XOXOXOXO

Friends, I will be writing more about this happy family event
as the weeks progress, so stay tyned.
We have lots of stories to share in big chunks. xoxoxo

1 Comment
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: bride and groom, choose joy, family, farm wedding, gratitude, jessica and alex, miracles, nuptuals, wedding, winter

8 specific ways to name your gratitude

November 24, 2020

Happy Thanksgiving Week!! However the holiday looks in your world this year, whatever plans you are able to make and keep, may joyful gratitude be the heart and soul of it all. If this comes trudgingly at times due to, well, everything, here are some of my favorite thought exercises that you might find useful.

#1 Senses Inventory: Take a moment to actively notice the world as your five physical senses perceive it, then add your thoughts and emotions in that moment. What do I see, hear, touch, smell, taste, think, and feel? Cataloging these seven specific access points to your human experience can feel so wonderful; it curbs that tendency to grow numb. I love this as a grounding exercise, and it often launches me straight into overwhelming gratitude.

#2 Prayers Already Answered: Take note of prayers already answered throughout your life or your loved ones’, both recently and over time. Name them until you feel the physical relief of “what might have been” or of the heavy burdens you no longer carry. Re-experience the joy of good news, and reflect on the love poured out into your life. Your life is soaked in miracles. Sometimes I do this slowly at first, until the remembrance comes on like a tidal wave. It can be overwhelming, and I giggle-cry with thanks.

#3 Thankful that Things Aren’t Worse: This is a powerful train of thought, but in a dark moment it can slip into sarcasm, which dulls gratitude, so I try to maintain that boundary, ha! No matter how difficult the days are, it can always be much, much worse. This kind of gratitude helps me put my problems in perspective.

#4 Give Thanks in Advance: As simple as it sounds, but a small exercise in fantasy, this is a powerful act of trust. I love to tell God thank you ahead of the concrete answers. It helps me see the future in its best possible expression. It helps me land on words to describe what I really want. And it helps me affirm my trust in His goodness, instead of giving voice to my fears.

#5 Gratitude for the Strong Pillars: If you have a job, a warm home, clothes and shoes, food and clean water, and a few people near you, your life is strong and good. It is so easy to forget that these are not automatically provided to everyone, and the veil between this life and another is shockingly thin. Hwo wonderful to be in such a strong, safe place.

#6 Name Actual People! Oh this is so fun and easy, and it is a luscious way to feel temporarily connected! Just let your mind wander and literally say the names of people in your life. Sometimes my mind will fish out the name of someone who surprises me, maybe they are a part of a difficult relationship, but you know what? I can be thankful for those too, as those are often where we learn valuable lessons. But mostly I enjoy the bright cloud of faces around me, people who make my world stronger, more beautiful, infinitely more magical.

#7 Gratitude Over News Headlines: Another exercise in trust, this is about the only way I can constructively absorb the news some days. Just read or watch and try to filter it all through a lens of thankfulness. Sometimes the best I can do is tell God I know you know all about this, thank you for watching over us in all things I don’t understand, and that can be enough. But then, also, a lens of thankfulness can help me see good news more often. It sort of tunes the mind into noticing goodness more easily.

#8 Thankful for Challenges and Difficulties: This particular thankfulness robs hardship of some of its sting. It’s the alchemy, the absolute conversion of what was meant for our harm. I love to reframe hard times as opportunities to grow and improve.

Do any of these seem useful to you? Do you have any other specific thought methods to share, to amp up our gratitude?

Happy Thanksgiving week!! However you are celebrating this year, I wish you deep peace and outrageous joy. Take it easy and laugh a lot. Pour yourelf out, fully. We are all going to make some unique memories this week, so let’s make them loving in every way.

Thank you so much for checking in.

“The quality of your life depends upon
the quality of your thoughts.”
~Marcus Aurelius

XOXOXOXO

2 Comments
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: choose joy, gratitude, quarantine coping, stocism, Thanksgiving, thoughts

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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