Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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thanksgiving grocery prep

It was Tuesday around 4 pm. My original plan was to drive straight home from garden class and get started on some housework then maybe go for a run before nightfall. But Handsome called me and made the very wise suggestion that I buy our Thanksgiving feast supplies now, if possible, because of some chatter he’d heard on the radio. Something about “record-setting shoppers” and “everyone in the civilized world is off work on Wednesday.” Crazy, slightly intimidating stuff. Even my idea of grocery shopping in the wee hours Wednesday morning might have been not quite enough to avoid the chaos.

Well. By chance I had my list with me, a three page list to be exact, a yellow legal pad filled with recipes and seating charts and what to buy from which store and in what department. I was wearing my super duper comfy plaid sneakers. And I had a fully charged cell phone. Ready for elbowing my way through at least half of my impressive list. Expecting stress.

I’m a list writer.

And a little bit of a worrier, despite my best efforts.

And I’m easily impressed.

On to my favorite grocery store in nearby Midwest City!

Friends, I want to tell you that after one deep breath and a forced smile, I was in for a wonderful surprise! Last night’s hunt (hunting is exactly what it is, am I right?) was a total pleasure. From beginning to end, I actually had a good time. Everyone there was happy, smiling broadly at each other and practicing Grandma-worthy manners. No children (and there were lots of children around) were screaming. Every aisle was sardine-packed with people and their heavy carts, but instead of competing with each other, we all were helping each other locate and reach needed items. I hope to never forget this particular woman who was searching for flaked coconut in the baking aisle. She was met with at least four happy, anonymous neighbors helping her get exactly the bag she wanted, without having to maneuver her cart. I watched the bag of coconut pass hand to hand like a passenger in a confectioner’s mosh pit until it reached its grateful cook. And everyone cheered when the mission was accomplished! Hilarious.

I got a dose of instant Christmas spirit last night, just shopping for Thanksgiving! It didn’t hurt that the store was piping in gentle, low volume Christmas carols. I sang out loud and danced a little while exploring the aisles.

 

lazyw Thanksgiving groceries
I snapped this photo about halfway through my market expedition.

 

My Mom and I chatted on the phone throughout the magical shopping trip, reviewing family recipes and letting the excitement for Thursday build between us. I found everything on my list. The butcher knows me and helped me find steals. The produce guy is about the nicest man ever and made sure I got the biggest fans of kale and prettiest oranges, as always. Butterball turkeys were half off! My cashier was the funniest girl in the world who is always trying to get me to try this particular Mexican orange soda (it’s possible her sweet disposition caused me to save $20 or $30). And when I finally wheeled our massive bounty from the sliding electric doors to my waiting Jeep, I caught a glimpse of the sunset, streaked red and purple, gold and silver. The crescent moon hung seductively between some wispy clouds, and I couldn’t wait to get home to my guy. On Twitter late in the evening I noticed that my sweet friend Rose had been admiring the moon too. It really was captivating.

 

A previously clean and clear, delicately dressed buffet table in our dining room is now loaded to the max with gorgeous raw materials for cooking. We are so blessed.
A previously clean and clear, delicately dressed buffet table in our dining room is now loaded to the max with gorgeous raw materials for cooking. We are so blessed. Blessed beyond reason.

 

So what is on the Lazy W menu?

Strong coffee, bacon, and cinnamon rolls for breakfast, for those who come early while the feast is being prepared. Then turkey (times two). Ham. At least two different stuffing recipes. Egg noodles from scratch. Julia Child’s garlic-mashed potatoes. Canned cranberry jelly (Handsome’s favorite) as well as raw citrus-cranberry relish. Marshmallow-roasted sweet potatoes. Scalloped sweet potatoes by Katie. Piles and piles of homemade rolls. Kale-pomegranate salad with olive oil and sea salt. Green bean casserole. Pumpkin pie. Pecan pie. Chocolate fudge cake. Lemon Ice Box Pie. Pink Stuff. And much more. We are planning a feast for the eyes and the belly. A great binding for a farm-full of people.

 

It is frozen rock solid as of Tuesday at 8 pm. Will it thaw in time?
It was frozen rock solid as of Tuesday at 8 pm. Will it thaw in time?

 

Today, the prep day, is going to be so much fun! I am incredibly grateful for the freedom to stay home and do this. To enjoy this process and fill every room in our home with love and decorations and yummy calories. I am unreasonably excited to brine this ample bird. To spend all of Wednesday loving this turkey. Flavoring it with dried sage from our own little herb garden. Adorning its white platter given to me by my Dad years ago. Giving thanks for its fatness. Etcetera. (Update: as of 8 am on Wednesday, it is softening in a sink of cold water. Thanks Melissa!)

 

I am loving the freedom to dress and decorate every table any way I want to! Different fabrics, fresh fruits, candles, and more. So fun.
In addition to food adventures, I am loving the freedom to dress and decorate every table any way I want to! Different fabrics, fresh fruits, candles,poetry maybe, and more. So fun. The celebration of a holiday in our home fills my heart to the brim!

 

I am bursting with gratitude for sure.

So “Happy Thanksgiving Grocery Wednesday,” friends! I hope that if you are out in the retail world today, your expedition is as charmed as mine was last night. If you are home rolling out pie crusts and brining poultry, ironing cloth napkins and searching for extra chairs, I hope you enjoy every minute. I hope you enjoy it all so thoroughly that you never furrow your brow. That you smile widely and giggle a lot. I hope you play music and wear your favorite necklace and get a surprise note or phone call from someone who makes your heart leap.

I hope you forget to count calories, because you are so busy counting blessings.

Now? I better sign off. Lots to do before the big event tomorrow. Lots to enjoy in every way.

To be sensual, he wrote, is to respect and rejoice 
in the force of life itself,
and to be present in all that one does,
from the effort of loving to the breaking of bread.
~Judith Newton
Tasting Home, Coming of Age in the Kitchen*
XOXOXOXO

 

*book review coming soon!

 

 

 

 

thanksgiving heart prep

With only days until Thanksgiving, my heart is shifting in miraculous ways. So is our life. Life is shifting in miraculous ways, and I feel it over and over again at the most unexpected moments. The more I consciously still myself and concentrate on that shifting sensation, the more it expands. And it feels wonderful. Unpredictable, a little scary maybe, but wonderful. Long-whispered prayers are being answered for us, out of the blue.

At the same time, loss that we would never have predicted is carving big holes in our bones. Loved ones gone, loved ones missing. All our traditions and routines are cast in a new light, and it’s not always pretty. Of course the holiday season brings all of this center stage.

Life, despite loss, is thriving. This holiday season will be much different from last year. Just as last year was much different from the year before. It’s this brackish water where we’re always drawn to swim, this deep pool, warm and salty like tears. But clear and sparkling in the sun. Both.

Sometimes in bitter moments I wonder if life sends us pain to temper the joy, to keep us humble. But in my heart I believe the opposite: That life sends us joy to help us bounce back from pain. To give us good things to reach for, people to actively love, instead of crumbling in around ourselves.

The Not Always Lazy W, thelazyw, oklahoma

This week we did a pretty silly thing. On a whim of decluttering mania, owed in part to the recent snow storm (cabin fever makes us want to clean) but mostly to a summer’s worth of collecting and indulgent fake decorating, Handsome and I sold a bunch of our furniture and put even more in storage. Dishes, too. The downstairs front room is pretty much empty now, vacant and echo-y like we just moved in. Pacino the parrot loves the new acoustics.

And it turns out we’re hosting Thanksgiving! haha, Haha, see what I mean? Shifting. Life is shifting, but it mostly gives me this effervescent feeling in my belly, and it warms my heart. Let’s call it… Emotional champagne. Okay?

lazyw, The Not Always Lazy W

Maybe because I’m a Pisces? I don’t know. But this back-and-forth swimmy reality, this brackish-water awareness that life is both grief and joy, both profound loss and shocking, blinding relief, it pleases me deeply. The balance keeps me upright and in the moment. Anything is possible. Both thrilling and terrifying, every day holds the potential for very real miracles.

So I have learned to look neither too far ahead nor too far in the past, except to give thanks and ask for grace. This day, this exact moment, is more than enough. We are not alone, and no matter what happens we will be okay.

thelazyw, The Not Always Lazy W, oklahoma, faith, thanksgiving
dormancy and new life holding hands

Back to Thanksgiving prep! This weekend Handsome and I are recharging our batteries a bit. Hoping to spend some time with good friends and maybe our oldest daughter. Probably doing a little domestic rearranging, a little nest feathering. A lot of romancing.

As I type, the skies are bluish gray and pouring rain all over the golden trees and pale, dormant fields. Beats of thunder are rumbling gently. We are sipping perfect coffee and watching old episode of Rifle Man. Sifting though Pinterest boards to really zero in on Thanksgiving projects. Enduring the occasional outburst from our acoustic-loving parrot. Every moment is so full. Pressed to the edges with life.

Okay. Turkey Day.

If you’re like me you like to look around and see what the experts are doing to prepare for the holidays. I have found a handful of really stellar posts that have sent my hostess soul absolutely into the stratosphere! Please check these out, if you haven’t already…

  • King Arthur Flour offered a detailed outline of preparing the feast itself. Really detailed, practical, and customizable!
  • Speaking of detailed, of course, there is the queen of step-by-step, Oklahoma’s very own Pioneer Woman. This post from 2008 is great. And it’s illustrated!
  • Then the Nester wrote about hospitality and how she needed to offer it to herself first, to refill her well. Beautiful! Must read. I teared up a few times and craved a frothy coffee and decided that my newly emptied living room shall be decorated with all kinds of new texture. Go see for yourself.
  • Possibly my most beloved blogger, Edie, wrote an equally beautiful but more colorful post on her Thanksgiving prep. She always shares both the how-to and the why, and that’s why I appreciate her so much. My favorite part? Her admonition to cup our hands on the faces of our loved ones, make eye contact, and tell them thank you.

What treasures have you found to read? What’s happening in your heart this Thanksgiving? I hope you can see your blessings clearly, up close, and with the heavy weight of gratitude that also lifts your burdens. I hope you too can enjoy swimming in the bright, salty, brackish waters of life.

leaves

Happy weekend, friends! Much love from the Lazy W.

God has two dwellings.
One in heaven and the other
in a meek and thankful heart.
Izaak Walton
xoxoxoxo

 

magical, grateful november day

What a gorgeous, sparkling-sunshine afternoon. I feel the magic of November all around me. And several hours stretch between right now and the next hectic time, so I want to frame this moment. Before I ask for anything else, before I think of what’s coming around the bend, I want to give thanks and breathe deeply the Love that has already been offered.

nov 9 porchnov 9 fall bordernov 9 aging crepe myrtlesnov 9 travel pecan treenov 9 dormant sunflowersnov 9 brilliant maple

A quiet walk around the farm is stunning right now. The colors, textures, and easy sounds of autumn intoxicate me. And our life is so combed through with mercy, I feel the need to pause and take stock more often. The weight of uncounted blessings is wonderful and keeps me conscious. Keeps me wide-eyed and in the moment.

We all have big problems and we all have heartache that has been sapping our strength for so long we almost can’t remember what life was like without it. But maybe just for today, lay it down. Maybe just for today, allow the particular beauty and magic of November to refresh you.

Just look around and see how beautiful life is, just exactly as it is, right this minute. Be content with your abundant blessings. Let yourself feel overwhelmed by beauty. Be stirred by the mystery of things you could never accomplish on your own.

And tomorrow, or whenever you have to deal with reality again, your soul will be refreshed.

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart.”
~Jean Baptiste Massieu
XOXOXOXO

close and closer still

I am the only one awake in the house, probably the only one awake on the farm, except for Geoffrey our ever-hunting-and-prowling barn cat. The morning is so quiet. Not even a tree frog croaking. Just the buzz and click of my laptop and the hum of the refrigerator. Every window is still black with night sky. Strong coffee smells are warming up the room, making my mind more pliable and my eyes less bleary. I am wearing my much loved grey book club t-shirt and pink sweat pants given to me by my friend Marci when spontaneously one day we decided to dye every piece of fabric in sight the color turquoise, including the jeans I was wearing. The table where I’m writing this morning is covered in a bouquet of fading zinnias and half a dozen pieces of fruit plus the only attempt I have so far made toward autumn decorating. And a bottle of nail polish weighting down a story idea scribbled on a wrinkly paper towel.

My heart is incredibly still. Not everything is settled yet exactly, not by the world’s standards, but everything is alright. No, everything is amazing. I can see, feel, smell, and taste that every prayer we’ve uttered in faith is already answered. And that we will be seeing the proof of that slowly, bit by bit, in God’s time. They’ve been answered for years, really. And as new crises have happened in our life, those too have come paired with their own solutions, if only we would stop and focus and breath deeply enough to see. If only we would get close enough to the Problem Solver to no longer see the problem. I miss you Harvey. Thank you for teaching me that. It has changed my life.

Yesterday between working in the barn and playing in the garden, I stopped to feed my bees and the llamas all visited. Dulcinea was particularly kissy. I discovered this photo on my cell phone later and was overwhelmed with the feeling of being so close to God, like a little girl. The feeling of being face to face with Him, silent, cuddled, held with strong arms. Maybe like Scout sitting in Atticus’ lap in To Kill a Mockingbird.

get as close as you can until He is all you can see
get as close as you can until He is all you can see

A rooster is awake now, though the windows are still inky black. My husband of thirteen years will soon appear in the stairwell with a towel for me and a kiss, ready to stumble outside for Hot Tub Summit, as is our early morning custom. I will give him freshly brewed coffee that he bought for me at midnight last night because I foolishly left my can of it at book club. We will admire the last stars of night and maybe the first colorful streaks of dawn. We will take note of the llamas and cats and buffalo and horses and help each other kill mosquitoes but not honeybees.

Then later today we will work together at church, getting the physical space ready for spiritual work. We will pray together and face everything together then rest in this home we’ve made, this love we’ve curated. Keeping room for every seed of hope we’ve ever planted.

My friends are all facing big trials and heartaches, just like yours. My family is in crisis, just like yours. And I ache for them just as they have ached for me. But I feel such a flood of hope and assurance right now! The dawn is finally cracking open on a long, bitter night. I just want everyone to fix their sight on where that is happening. The Source of every solution, all the Love that we will ever need. Do not let anyone distract you with worrying or over-analyzing or thinking that you alone can do it. Be firm on that, okay?

Get so close that He is all you can see.

Happy brand new day to you! You are loved and you are needed to move that Love around this world. Be a conduit. Be happy.

It’s not time to worry yet.
~Atticus Finch
XOXOXOXO

 

 

encouragement & garden updates

Oh you guys. Lately when I sit down at my keyboard to tell you farm stories and share my heart, I freeze up.

As much as I love allowing words and emotions to flow, right now our biggest life headlines are intensely personal. They are too private for this blog and also not entirely my story to tell. Our family has been enduring big changes for several years but in particular this past year. And even more recently than that, this past month has brought change and revelation which I have felt coming for a long time but which are still new and huge, much more for our loved ones than us.

(Sometimes I have to remember that I haven’t shared that stuff with you guys, so how would you know what the heck I’m talking about or why I’m always asking for prayer? Maybe sometime in the future I will share more of it. Now is just not the time.)

My little red tea roses are slowly fading, but I'm not deadheading them yet. I want to leave the spent blooms as well as the rose hips on the plants to send energy back to the roots for winter. Plus they're still so beautiful!
My pretty little red tea roses are slowly fading, but I’m not deadheading them yet. I want to leave the spent blooms as well as the rose hips on the plants to send energy back to the roots for winter.

Still I am trying daily to sort through my thoughts and experiences and find something useful to share with you. I also hope you’ll have something magical to say in response. Here is what’s on my heart today.

Often the things for which we hope and pray come in God’s time, not ours. And while the seasons may change gradually, doesn’t it seem like both tragedies and miracles come suddenly? That’s certainly been our experience. And it’s also been our experience that tragedies and miracles are closely intertwined. Some people call them mixed blessings or silver linings. And these things ring true. But to me the bigger truth is that what blesses one person can sometimes cause great pain for another. Navigating this becomes a matter of adjusting our perspective and refining our focus on God’s will, not ours. We are tasked with seeking peace on every level, trusting Him, resisting fear and bitterness, feeding Love constantly. Refusing to ask those nagging questions that start with the words, “But what if…”

I'm learning a lot about composting methods and trying to implement a lot of it in my raised beds. How exciting to think of how much harvest we can enjoy by preparing the soil first!
I’m learning a lot about composting methods and trying to implement a lot of it in my raised beds. How exciting to think of how much harvest we can enjoy by preparing the soil first!
Right now lots of herbs and flowers are doing great on auto-pilot, but kale is the only thing I am actively growing. This week I'll be adding spinach, lettuce, and more to the fall veggie garden.
Right now lots of herbs and flowers are doing great on auto-pilot, but kale is the only thing I am actively growing. This week I’ll be adding spinach, lettuce, and more to the fall veggie garden.

So once again Handsome and I are right back to living one day at a time, often a few hours at a time, carefully watching and praying our way through one little situation after another. When I pause to see how we’re doing, I am happy. We’ve learned a lot through the ups and downs of the past five years, and we have been given millions of opportunities to prove what we’ve learned.

People keep telling me to stop growing morning glories. I can't! I won't. Morning glories are old fashioned, easy, and lush. They thrill and comfort me.
People keep telling me to stop growing morning glories. I can’t! I won’t. Morning glories are old fashioned, easy, and lush. They thrill and comfort me.

Are you in the midst of a season of change? Or are you waiting on a miracle or in need of refreshment? It is totally available.

Here is some encouragement for you:

  • When change seems to be the only constant, God is there to help absorb the shock and guide the way.
  • When we are broken hearted, God is there to mend us and comfort us.
  • When we feel alone, we are not because He is there. He is never the one who turns away.
  • When we feel powerless to help our loved ones in need, we are actually filled with power if we lean on God. His resources are unlimited.
  • When peace seems threatened, we can remind each other that we have a choice. We can choose peace and choose love and choose faith… even if we’ve failed before.
  • When things seem impossible, trust that your needs will be met. Just trust, ahead of proof.
  • Where you allow your thoughts to swim is hugely important. Be sure your imagination is alligned with your faith.

Here’s a bigger encouragement for you:

God always keeps His promises, so don’t worry if it’s taking a long time.
Just find ways to make your waiting season count for something.
He honors faith, especially the faith that is painfully wrought.
And He sees every tear and hears every single prayer.
If you look for Him you will find Him.
If you move closer to Him, He will move closer to you.

These are all facts, all indelible marks on my heart for which I am so grateful.

The Lazy W Honeymakers are still foraging daily, still drinking up the sugar water I provide them, still buzzing me in great gentle clouds when I walk int he garden.
The Lazy W Honeymakers are still foraging daily, still drinking up the sugar water I provide them, still buzzing me in great gentle clouds when I walk in the garden. So amazing.

I like to temper the big, heavy thinky stuff with daily pleasures like what’s going on in my garden. God has such a beautiful way of teaching us there, anyway. Life goes on. Cycles happen. Joy and hope are refreshed constantly. Facing the light is how we grow. Accepting deep nourishment carries us through the dry times.

There’s just so much.

Life here at the farm is good, friends. Really good. Not perfect, but overflowing with Love and faith, hope for unanswered prayers. We are strong and steady, trusting God to meet those needs we can’t meet ourselves. Handsome and I deeply appreciate your prayers, especially because you probably have no idea what we’re asking God to do.

But the beauty here is that we’re just asking Him to move. Just asking Him to have the final word in some painful situations, and whatever that is we know we will all be okay.

Tonight I am peaceful and happy. Overwhelmed by the possibility of a life fueled and controlled by Love.

How are you?

XOXOXOXO