Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Autumn Arrives

   Happy First Day of Fall, Y’all!! Everywhere I look this week people are gearing up for and smiling about the official change in seasons. Women are wearing knee high boots (guilty) even though it’s not quite chilly enough; stores are happy to sell us artificially colored plastic leaves because our real leaves are still too green to collect; and the Pinterest boards have been flooded with football “game day” recipes. This exuberant thrust into the future tends to happen with a little extra oomph after any one season has been particularly brutal, as was the case with summertime 2012 in Oklahoma.

   I have made my peace with the end of summer.

   Mostly.

   I mean, our pool is still open, soooo…

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   This time of year is sensationally beautiful, of course. In most parts of the country but especially in Oklahoma, we can enjoy all variations of weather and foliage and local foods and also new, boredom-busting activities. Longer, slower hikes outside, pots of soup simmering on the stove, gardening without melting your face off. Watching the sun set comfortably, maybe even with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Crisp apples, moist pumpkin bread, and cotton table cloths that you would never use any other time of year…

   I must admit that early autumn is a little bittersweet for Handsome and me. It is the time of year when each of my girls made the decision to live with their Dad. On different years, mind you, but at the same season. On bad days, this is all bitter and no sweet. But then sometimes I can vividly imagine that their homecoming will happen in the fall, perhaps sometime far into the future, to replace the echo of that heartbreak with the celebration of our long awaited miracle. Hope is always sweet.
Our beloved Talking Tree on a particularly foggy morning

   Autumn is also when we had that house fire here at the farm that was started by (get this) a candle I had just purchased at Michael’s THAT SAME DAY to celebrate the arrival of fall!! Can you even believe the poetry in that?! I think it was a cinnamon-apple candle in a big glass jar, and it was almost three years before I could smell anything cinnamon with out feeling nauseous. “Hi, my name is Marie and I am terrified of cinnamon.”
Our front door and first floor may have been gutted, 
but our porch lights stayed lit and the flowers kept on blooming!

   Fortunately, and as a testament to both the power of Nature to overcome everything else and to our wealth of happy family memories, so much beauty remains that every year I cannot help but fall madly in love with autumn all over again.

   I love the flowers of the season…

   I love the pumpkin carving…
Look closely at these seeds… they are actually sprouts! 
They had sprouted inside the pumpkin, in the dark! 
Nature is amazing.
We fed them to the chickens.

…and I love the animal pranks. Kitten-Stuffed-Inside-Pumpkin is a classic. 

Unsuspecting Cat, “Fast Woman,” Circa 2008
Note the wary goat int he background. 
That is Marshmallow. She was no dummy.

 

Unsuspecting  and Unnamed Offspring of Fast Woman’s, Circa 2010
I was more than slightly amused to realize that
our feline-jack o’lantern tradition spanned many years.

But do NOT try this stunt with a goat. Or a buffalo. By comparison, cats are defenseless.
Sweet little Chunk-Hi back when he was still little and free to roam the yard.
See his stubby horn buds? Such a scruffy age, and so tender hearted, 
but still not appropriate for pumpkin-stuffing.

   Speaking of animal pranks, fall is a great time of year to bring your pretty little hens inside…

 …and make them look at fake, Styrofoam poultry stapled to little squares of cardboard. Seriously, if you have chickens just do this, ok? You should SEE the looks on their faces! It’s awesome.

   I love bonfires SO MUCH. Bonfires are easily my favorite thing about autumn. They encourage people to cuddle and talk and laugh hard and loud without worrying how weird their faces look. They send up smoke and embers to point our eyes toward the stars in the moody, changing sky… Bonfires are for s’mores and ghost stories, romance and memories.

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   I love that life is so full of texture. So rich with change and surprise, yet also filled with constant offers of strength and Truth. We just have to accept them. The painful times help us appreciate the happy times. The joyful times insulate us for the inevitable devastation.

   Take time to soak up the details and texture of whatever season you find yourself in. Accept its gifts, rise to its challenges, and whenever possible gather your loved ones around a bonfire and love each other through it.

And Take More Pictures!!
xoxoxo


The More I Run…

  • …the longer I can run at once. Back in June, I couldn’t even complete a quarter of a mile without stopping to catch my wheezy breath and lean forward to not pass out. Now on a good day I can run a solid five miles without stopping. On a bad day, I still run two miles easily. I look forward to the day when a five mile run is short for me and a half marathon is on the horizon.
  • …the better I can breathe in general.
  • ...the stronger my tummy feels. I am shocked by how much secondary conditioning you grab without even meaning to! 
  • …the longer my legs look.
  • …the happier I am on a daily basis. After running, on sad days I feel more settled and centered and on already great days I feel downright jubilant!
  • …the clearer my thoughts are. Mostly. (It is still me, after all.)
  • …the less I feel bloated, which feels GREAT, so the less I drink soda to ruin that feeling. Since the only soda I drink is Diet Coke, drinking less is a huge benefit to me in the long run.
  • …the more I drink cold, clear, ice-less water. Like, by the QUART. All day long.
  • ...the more often I brush my teeth throughout the day. Not sure why this happens, maybe because of the water guzzling? I like the feeling of a super clean mouth?
  • …the less I crave sweets, including “filler” type breads and potatoes.
  • …and the more I crave veggies.
  • …the looser my jeans and yoga pants fit. Even wet or straight out of the dryer. This has been a terribly slow progression, but a progression nonetheless. 
  • …the more I enjoy Pilates or yoga, maybe because I am all warmed up? Or because I know I am doing something to compliment the run? Not sure, but it’s a clear benefit. The more I run, the stronger I am. Period. 
  • …the better I am able to work efficiently around the farm. Running actually increases my energy, which is a very good thing.
  • …the more I feel inspired to tackle other projects. Both mental and physical challenges are way more easily met.
  • ...the better I understand my husband. Why? Not because he’s a runner (he certainly is not and makes no apologies for this), but because while running I tend to listen to a lot of white-boy rap, his soundtrack of choice during high school, when we didn’t know each other. Also, now I finally know ALL of the lyrics to Teach Me How to Dougie. Bring on the karaoke.
  • …the closer I feel to the youngsters who have inspired me (my own beautiful Jocelyn and my two handsome nephews, Dante, and Matt…) I am beginning to understand why teenagers love their Cross Country teams so much. 
  • ...the better my skin looks, more or less. I wear sunscreen at the farm, even when it’s cool out, but I think that better circulation gives me the appearance of sunshine. LOL
  • …the more cuddly our two biggest horse become. I mean, Chanta is always a lover, but Daphne, my moody mare, seems to tolerate me more since I have been using her back field for these half-hour adventures in sweat. I am guessing she likes that seeing me outside does not always equal me demanding something of her. Fair enough.

Foggy Monday Morning Greeting

   Hey everyone! How was your weekend? How has your work week started out? Is it still foggy where you are, as your read this? At the farm I can barely see past the garden gate and the forest trees are blurred, showing only their slender black trunks in the grayness. Also, our animals are still mostly asleep at 8:30 in the morning! Lazy.

   Around here, today begins two full weeks of lunar fertility; I have a long list of autumnal jobs to tackle, both indoors and out; a good friend is starting her wedding preparations, and I am super excited to help; I have a beekeepers’ meeting and am working at the Great State Fair of Oklahoma again, AND (certainly most important of all these fine things) I am embarking on a new emotional adventure for my children.

   This might be a light writing week for me, but then again so much is going on that I might lost my mind if I don’t write. So we’ll see. Either way, I wish you guys perfect September weather, just the right amount of food and exercise, three or four great books to read, a secret love note or two, and deep, abiding faith for whatever breaks your heart.

   I would be so thrilled if you kept my girls and me in your prayers especially right now. And if you’re local, come see me at the Fair this Wednesday! I will be at the beekeeping exhibit again, learning more than I teach.

“Autumn is a Second Spring 
When Every Leaf is a Flower.”
~Albert Camus
xoxoxo

Storms, Tap Roots, and Looking Up

Check it out you guys! Later today I am guest posting 
over at sweet Edie’s community blog, lifeingracegirls
So fun! I have admired Edie’s personal blog for a few years now 
and have gleaned from her tons of inspiration and enouragement, 
from books to faith to redecorranging.
Please join the fun over there and meet some of the other ladies too!

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 I was zoned out running in the back field Wednesday morning, listening to either Eminem or Godsmack or something else equally endorphonish, when something caught my eye. It startled me actually, although I have seen it a thousand times before. It was this tree and its giant root system, exposed to the sky…

This photo was taken immediately after the tornado.
You can see that the pine needles still face the tree’s original “up.”
Today they point towards the sky.

   A little over two years ago, a large and very strong tornado barreled up the western slope of our farm, thrashing the trees and ground but (fortunately) just grazing our house. Despite seeing the rain-wrapped beast with my own eyes through the kitchen window, it happened so quickly that we barely understood what it was until the next morning. Because, seriously, around here the wind comes sweeping down the plain a lot! Like, a 40 mph gust could be called breezy.

   Handsome and I walked around our property and discovered tree after tree either snapped off at the ground or skinned naked of bark. Fences were tangled. All kinds of debris (both our and our neighbors‘) were scattered everywhere. We found just exactly what Oklahomans expect to find after a tornado, only thankfully this time our house and our animals were more or less in tact. So thankful.

So much of the nearby forests was stripped down to stubble.
This poor family lost their entire roof, and many others lost much more.
We were so blessed to take a hit and only replace shingles.

   Okay, so that is why that tree looks this way. I am quirky, but I would never plant a tree in this position on purpose. I swear it was a tornado, you guys.

   What is fascinating to me is that after two years of being toppled and having its almost feathery and so crucial root system exposed to our extreme conditions (sub zero winters, triple digit summers, record breaking drought), this pine tree is alive. More than alive, really, it seems to be thriving, albeit in a slightly different posture than before.

   It is not thriving just because it has a good attitude, though I do personally believe that plants can pose themselves positively or negatively in this world. Why are goat-head stickers so hostile?!? Neither is it thriving because anyone drags the water hose and a bucket of manure out there every other day and keeps its nest of roots moist and fed. DUH. I do not have that much free time!

   This tree is thriving because its tap root runs deep and sure. It reaches far beyond the parched dust of the sandy back field. It runs several meters past where the cruelest winds might whip it silly.This tree is in touch with something deep and sustaining enough for it to grow under the most unlikely circumstances.

   Also, in addition to becoming strikingly beautiful in a brand new way, I see that now this pine tree’s exposed roots have become a shelter for small animals. The vacancy created by what was lost has become a home and solace for something else. If that’s not beautiful, you guys, I don’t know what is.

   What about us? How well established are our roots, and how vicious a storm can we withstand and still thrive, still grow? Even if some of the peripheral attachments we make in life are torn out and exposed to deadly elements, are we securely tapped into something more permanent? Can we enjoy many more seasons of new growth and beauty? Where do we face, towards the past or upwards?

   Personally, I can point to each trauma in my life so far and recall whether at that time I felt peace or fear. I can also remember how I fared in the wake of each storm, whether I crumpled into myself, risking dehydration and decomposition…or whether I was deeply fed enough to just turn my face upward and change direction.

   My connection to that deep Source of Life has been tested lately. So I am unreasonably happy to have noticed that tree today. I am so grateful to see its unusual beauty, its new bright green pine needles, the yoga pose it does all day as the sun moves over the back field. I am reminded that life’s features and posture change, sometimes permanently, but it all remains beautiful.

   Stay connected, friends, to the best stuff. Find Love and Truth and never let go. If (when) a storm topples you but you are still alive and connected to that fountain of Life that never runs dry, then you have hope for life, beauty, and joy. You might even be used for a purpose you never imagined.

“Surviving is Important;
Thriving is Elegant.”
~Maya Angelou
xoxoxoxo

Monday as Springboard

   Greetings you sweet, creative, thinky people! How has your fresh new week started out? Are you off and running, pouring your momentum and energy into every task and whistling while you work? Or are you dragging a little, running a bit rougher than you would like? Or maybe somewhere in between? I don’t mind saying that I hit the ground running today, both literally and figuratively.

   After a few days last week spent actively resisting sadness and then mindlessly eating too many bowls of indulgent pasta, today was a healthier, happier day. I traded sweet notes with my baby girl on Saturday, her seventeenth birthday, and now she and I are looking forward to some time alone, hopefully very soon. I have tucked a few long, sweaty runs under my belt; and this coming week is filled with unusual and very exciting opportunities.  (I’ll be sharing some of this with you!)

   

   On top of it all, our weather in Oklahoma has shifted ever so slightly. The late evenings are cool, and the early mornings are downright crisp. Our afternoons have been sunny and warm enough to collect a few rays on my bare legs and shoulders, but they are no longer murderously hot. These are the sublime days. The days between summer and autumn, the days when at any moment you can turn off the air conditioner and shove open every window in the house. The days when horses nap with their bellies open to the sky instead of hiding beneath the cooling shelter of cypress trees. Even the herbs are responding to our friendlier atmosphere…

   So I’m feeling pretty good. Great, actually. Despite some recent disappointments in life and ongoing challenges in several areas, Handsome and I feel so blessed. I am more grateful than ever for good friends who care and who offer nourishing little bits of wisdom and encouragement when it is needed most. For others who laugh with us so hard that we forget ever not laughing. I am so grateful for this constant river of inspiration that somehow speeds along inevitable grief. Life at the moment is bursting at the seams with opportunities for growth, improvement, and comfort. Do you feel that too? There is something in the distance, but something wonderful.

   At a garage sale over the weekend, I snagged for exactly one dollar a framed oil painting of a garden door.   Believe it or not (I hope you do believe me) it is the spitting image of one of the ways that Worry Door appeared to me almost two weeks ago. I now have the painting propped up on my writing desk, gently reminding me to keep that door closed.

   As I close up this afternoon to move on to life’s next skinny little chapter, I am expecting some good news for my parents and little sister. I am trusting that my girls, my human chickens, feel the best of everything along with me. I have confidence in my husband and his future.And I crave Nutella like nobody’s business.

“My joy, my grief, my hope, my love,
Did all within this circle move.”
~Edmund Waller*
xoxoxoxo

*Edmund Waller was a seventeenth century English poet and member of Parliament.