Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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The Afterglow of Little Women

   Last month our famous little Dinner Club With a Reading Problem met to discuss Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women. It was a grand time, filled with cookie decorating, food eating and eating again, and several fantastic hours of laughter and hugs. Heart-warming stuff, you guys. Seri hosted us and cemented a new holiday tradition!

   Something tells me I have already told you that much already.

   The unfortunate secret, though, is that on that first weekend of December I was all caught up in other books and other projects and wading in the deep pool we call “Christmas” and did not finish this fine book in time to properly explore it with my comrades. What a shame!!! This is among the loveliest, most soul nourishing things I have ever read.

   So here we are now, the first bright weekend of this fresh young year, and I have finally polished off what I agree is a masterpiece. My reflex is to review it like any other book, but reviewing this work seems at best redundant but, more accurately, arrogant.

   Still, this is such a finely layered and solid piece of classic American literature and such a wholesome boost to my spirit personally, that some thoughts beg articulation. Will you please bear with me? And if you have read this fine volume before will you pretty please join this belated discussion??

   How to divide my myriad thoughts on these 578 pages? There’s just so much worth keeping from this. More than many other books, for sure. So over the next week or so I will be peppering this little page with what beauty I can extract from Little Women and distill into my own words.

  • Wisdom form Mrs. March, the matriarch. 
  • The extensive list of other literary works cited in this work. 
  • Life themes that sprout and grow as the March children do the same. 
  • How Little Women might relate to our study on Proverbs 31. (I bet you thought I had abandoned that again, huh? Well I didn’t; I only decided too do it naturally, bot hurriedly.)
  • Character analyses and how different people identify with different March sisters.
  • How does modern romance compare to the romances then?
  • How Little Women helped expand my vocabulary.

   All of that to say that I have more to say, later. And all in the midst of a thousand other things, so I do hope you will drop in now and then this month!

   Have you read Little Women? Did you read it as a student? Who was your favorite character? How can you imagine it applying to modern life? Are you interested in doing a little guest post about Little Women? It would totally earn you honorary membership int our book club!

“I’d no idea hearts could take in so many;
mine is so elastic, it seems full now…”
~Jo March
xoxoxoxo
    

 

Proverbs 31 for the Single Woman (Guest Post)

Today I am so happy and honored to introduce to you fine people 
a remarkable young woman named Misti. 
She has been in our famous little Oklahoma Dinner Club With a Reading Problem 
for about a year, but I only learned this week that she also writes a blog.(http://scribblesandmusings.wordpress.com/) 
I became quickly enamored with her forthright and tender approach to Bible themes 
and asked her to contribute her thoughts to my study on Proverbs 31, 
which she graciously agreed to do. Thanks Misti!!
I think you’ll really enjoy what she has written, especially if you too are a single gal. 
Please say hello and share your thoughts!


Proverbs 31 for the Single Woman

   For the longest time, I’ve thought that Proverbs 31 was something to attain to, but not entirely applicable to me. After all, I’m not married. I don’t have children. The closest thing I have to a dependent is a shaggy mutt of a dog who lives in my back yard most of the year. Other than a bit of attention, some food, water, and shelter in from the weather, he’s pretty content and low maintenance.

   I’ve been asked once or twice before to share my thoughts on Proverbs 31, and I have to admit, I felt pretty inadequate. I don’t have a family to provide for. I don’t have a husband to sit in the gate and be known for his wisdom. I don’t have children to rise up and call me blessed.

   But tonight, I thought about the story of Tabitha, or Dorcas, in the book of Acts. She was a woman who took what she had and made use of it to help others. So much so that when she passed, the people begged that Peter would pray that God would raise her from the dead because of their need of her.

   It blended with something else I’ve been thinking of lately – the impact of the single, childless woman in society. From the perspective of someone who does genealogy for a hobby, the single, childless women in the families tend to be forgotten. It would seem that they’ve left no legacy. But then, I have thought about the ones I have known about.

   There is the blind aunt of my great-great grandmother who lived next door to her family and helped with the family duties and the children. Her story was passed down through the family, and she is not forgotten.

   And the ones who have touched my life:

   Sis. Hattie Montgomery was an elderly lady in the church when my dad was a child. She married, but never had children of her own. All the children who went through her Sunday School, or who knew her as Aunt Hattie, or who grew up seeing her faithfulness in the church and heard stories about how she helped build the church building, or the stories of her near mishaps while continuing to drive into her 90s, has forgotten her. She left a legacy.

   Sis. Jewel was the quiet lady at church who filled in as Sunday School teacher, or who prayed. She was my brother-in-law’s great aunt. And she was the one who told me I should be singing in the choir and encouraged me to do that. She never married or had children, but she isn’t forgotten. I’ve heard about how she was such a help to Sis. Hattie in her later years, and always there to help out those who were in need.

   My own aunt, Jennie, has been a blessing to the many children she has led in the singing part of children’s meeting at church. She’s a woman of so many talents, and indispensable at the job she has done. She’s touched many lives in her work at the junior high for several decades. Her nieces and nephews, and their children will never forget her.

   These women didn’t have children of their own, but they have touched many lives. I see the traits of the Proverbs 31 woman in these ladies. They have been resourceful, talented, busy looking out for the ones in their circle of influence, and a great blessing to the family, the church and the community. I appreciate their good example, and the legacy they leave to us.

Again, Misti, thank you so much for sharing these beautiful thoughts 
and memories of some very special women in your life! 
I appreciate that you have illuminated the loving traits of a Proverbs 31 woman, 
traits that any woman can adapt to her own circumstances. 
Support, encouragement, care taking, tending, availability… Just love.

Love Your People. Whoever They Are
xoxoxoxo

Proverbs 31: Guest Post by Amber, Happiest Color of Crazy

   This morning I would like to introduce you to another lovely and generous guest poster, Amber. She is a stay-at-home Mommy to three beautiful and precocious little girls,and in a thousand ways she radiates the spirit of a young, traditional Proverbs 31 woman.

   I asked her to contribute because while so many women spend precious energy complaining about the drudgery of  domestic life, she celebrates every detail and magnifies God in fun, believable ways. I can feel her joy through her Facebook posts and original poetry, which is what she chose to share with us today…

   Enjoy…

The Happiest Color of Crazy
When I was young I had big dreams
romantic visions of all life could be.
I wanted to fall in love, be swept off my feet
have a beautiful home and a loving family.
God sees the desires of my heart
hearing the prayers my fears won’t let me speak.
He knows just how to fill my lack
becoming my strong knowing my weak.
My picture of happy has changed over time.
Things aren’t always what they might seem.
I do have love, a home and three kids
but life is all but serene….
We find ourselves always behind
trying to do all that’s needing done.
The kids are loud making a mess
keeping us on the run…
The bills keep coming but sleep rarely does
Life’s demands pile up like the dishes.
No time for dates, or leisurely mornings.
An endless list of empty wishes…
That’s when I can tell my heart has turned
and I must humbly repent.
Losing my joy by forgetting my thanks
is the surest road to discontent.
I must forget about what I want
and seek Him first in ALL things.
Looking around for His gifts of grace
in the simplest moments that each day brings.
My days are painted the happiest color of crazy.
My God supplies my every need.
I have everything I never knew I wanted
and my heart is full indeed!
    I especially love this line toward the end, “Losing my joy by forgetting my thanks is the surest road to discontent.“

   Thank you, Amber! Thanks for this poetry, and thanks for sharing on Facebook the delicious minutiae of daily life with your young family. You make me homesick for those days and grateful for my memories more than you can imagine. When people tell you it goes by quickly, they are speaking the truth. Soak up this happy color of crazy. May all of your dreams come true, if even in wildly unexpected ways!

“My heart is full indeed.”
xoxoxoxo

Proverbs 31:10-12 Stand By Your Man

   Thanks again for joining me on this slow exploration of Proverbs 31. The rest of this month should feel a lot more relevant to us ladies, to those of us craving to be intentional, spiritually meaningful wives and homemakers. It’s kind of like the long awaited cheese and dessert buffet when all you’ve eaten for hours is a rice cake and some limp celery.

   No offense to the first nine verses; they are important in their own way. But now that we have context and voice nailed down we can really start having some fun.

   Real quick, do you ever do this: Do you ever feel super guilty for referring to a Bible passage like this, “Oh now that’s a good one!” As if to imply the rest are not so hot? I digress, but it’s a thinker.

   Okay.

   Proverbs 31: 10-12

“Who can find a virtuous woman?
for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her,
so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

   Beautiful and complex.

   Even without all of the supporting instruction that follows, these three verses pretty much summarize the importance and purpose of a good wife. She is priceless. Her husband’s heart trusts safely in her. I love that, the notion that his heart trusts in her, his innermost self, his unspoken core. That’s powerful. For her entire life, she only helps him; she never brings him harm. Everybody needs someone that devoted, right? Apparently, men especially need this. And women are well suited for the job.

   These qualities probably seem easy enough to possess as a newlywed bride, or at any time in life that the swells of romance are cresting high and frothy. It’s easy and fun to strive for excellence at those times. Because it just feels so darn good.

Our first kiss as a married couple, 2001.

   I love taking excellent care of my husband when we have been trading lots of love notes and such. I am long on inspiration of how to spoil him when we are clicking along in sync with each other, feeding greedily off of the sugary, if shallow, nourishment of romance.

   But since all relationships have fluctuating glamour, since every marriage has its challenges, we will eventually reach a point where it is not so easy to lavish each other with goodness. That doesn’t mean we’re off the hook!

   Personally, I must learn to be just as devoted and trustworthy to Handsome when I am feeling insecure and afraid as when that lovely swell of romance is carrying me easily above our problems. He doesn’t need my devotion any less just because I am feeling un-spectacular.

   Virtuous. This could encompass so much about the woman’s character, and perhaps it varies from person to person. But I think it’s worth noticing that virtue is mentioned ahead of beauty.

   No need of spoil. What does this mean to you? To me it conjures up ideas of living within our means, financially. A husband whose wife overspends their resources will eventually find himself in need of spoil, in need of finding money somewhere to cover the gap. But a man who trusts safely in his wife knows that she will not abuse their cash or credit cards, for example.

   Or perhaps it has to do with fidelity and loyalty. What do you think?

   She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. I mean, that sounds simple and obvious. It should be. But back to the less enchanted times… How much effort does it take for a wife to do her husband good when she disagrees with his decisions? Or when he makes a mistake or outright hurts her? This verse doesn’t offer the comfy caveat that a desirable, priceless wife is only meant to do good to her husband when it is easy to do so; rather, it says that she is always good to him. She is always his supporter and his ally.

   Moreover, she does good to him. That to me is an active suggestion. She isn’t just waiting around being reactive, as is so natural for women to do. She is actively helping him, finding on her own ways to bless him and support him, all the days of her life. It doesn’t end when the honeymoon is over. And it doesn’t end when the children leave the nest. And it doesn’t end when you both retire or have mid life crises or whatever, or when one of you is sick. The direction to love and help and do good only evolves with time, with our changing needs.

   Is anybody else resisting the urge to sing Stand By Your Man?

   Twang away, ladies. Just twang away.

   I definitely realize some of you are rolling your eyes and maybe even flipping me off right now. Relax. It’s just a song.

   The thing is, wherever you fall in the broad spectrum of modern feminism, these Bible verses clearly state that a husband thrives with the support and love of his wife. How could he not? This is not useless, meaningless stuff. This is how we were created. This is how we are designed to complement each other in marriage.

   At least that’s how I see it.

   Give him two arms to cling to.

   Be proud of him.

   Stand by him, and not just when it’s easy.

   Be priceless.

xoxoxoxo

Proverbs 31: Passing of a Matriarch

   Late last night my husband’s grandmother passed away. She was the matriarch of his Dad’s family and the woman who helped carry the moniker of The Lazy W from the Oklahoma Land Run generation to her children’s, and now to ours.

   Was she a Proverbs 31 kind of woman?

   Absolutely.

   Mrs. Myrtle Wreath was a devoted wife and mother. She thrived in her home and made it a haven for her husband, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

   She sewed extensively for her family, including beautiful matching square-dance apparel for herself and her husband. In their youth they were practically famous in Oklahoma for their dancing! She quilted magically by hand, often from scraps (a woman after my own heart for sure).

   Grandma Myrtle was known as a magnificent cook, perhaps especially of sweets. Her grandchildren have fond memories of old-fashioned taffy pulls at the holidays, a tradition I really hope to revive soon at our much smaller Lazy W. I have a stack of her handwritten recipes that will get dusted off this weekend for Handsome and his Dad, starting with Snicker-doodles. She drank strong coffee with real cream, no sugar, and plenty of it.

   She always kept a clean, comfortable, and well appointed home and opened it constantly to loved ones. She also worked outside the home when necessary to provide for her young family.

   This is a woman who helped build a successful farm in the western prairies of Oklahoma. Together with her husband Paul, she raised three beautiful children, two boys and a girl. She helped him farm wheat and cattle commercially, and they grew productive kitchen gardens and kept chickens, dairy cows, and pigs year after year.

   Grandma Myrtle was a strong, gentle, industrious Oklahoma pioneer, as true as they come, and she was a Proverbs 31 woman naturally. Even without claiming much religion publicly, she embodied these values, and her family was blessed extensively by that. What a lovely thing to strive for!

********************

   As our family huddles up for the weekend of grieving and remembrance, I may miss a few days of posting for this Proverbs 31 project. But I am so grateful to have the image of this woman fresh in my heart, as well as images of my own grandmothers, to delve deeply into the best parts of these scriptures next week.

   Thanks in advance for your warm wishes to Handsome and his Dad, and please feel free to share memories of the special Proverbs 31 women in your life!

xoxoxoxo