Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

  • Welcome!
  • Home
  • lazy w farm journal
You are here: Home / Home

Love Never Left Us

June 22, 2013

   Last night our famous little Oklahoma book club, Dinner Club With a Reading Problem, gathered for another lively and loving evening. It was my turn to host here at the farm. To add even more fun to the story, the scheduled event fell in the middle of our vacation time with nieces and nephews.

Once again, this week and next Handsome and I have a house full 
of wonderful children who belong to other people.
I have not yet taken the time to stop and write about 
all the fun we’re having with them this week!
So much. The farm is absolutely buzzing
with activity and laughter, love and memory making.
All my old fears about being adequate for a group of kids this age 
have dissolved in the fun soup of chlorine water and home cooked meals.
My heart is actually healing in unexpected ways, too.
And instead of stress I am feeling homesick already for when they leave.

   So last night my book club girls descended on us in their usual affectionate ways. They were, as always, armed with delicious edibles and intelligent remarks about the book we were discussing, A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. More importantly, though, they brought compassion, insight, and wisdom. These are gifts we share with each other no matter what the topic; but with a title like A Return to Love that draws so much gritty, sometimes uncomfortable introspection, the gifts are a balm on open wounds.

    Have you read this book? It’s brimming with inspirational but also controversial themes. Here I wrote about my first gut reactions to the book. The seven of us who gathered did not agree on it across the board. And because our group is so diverse and we all feel so free to speak our minds, last night I had the chance to see the book in a different light. I learned more about my friends, too, and feel even closer to them now for the learning. Whether we individually “liked” the book or not, one common thread between us was the timeliness of the material. Whatever each of us gained from reading it, whether glowing inspiration or painful personal challenge, seemed to be received at a time we really needed it. And sharing our thoughts and feelings with each other just kind of intensified the experience.

   Our fun lasted for several hours, from the heat of rush hour traffic to the moonlit dark of night. We grazed on good food, though perhaps less of it than usual; the summer heat has possibly zapped our appetites. We watched as two of my three resident teens, Sammy and Koston, made fast friends with Tracy’s daughter Lauren and her friend Sophie. They swam and told ghost stories and seemed to bond as well as lifelong friends ever do. We welcomed my third resident sweetie Harley as a guest in our discussion. She is an avid young reader, eager to discuss things in depth, and has a craving to start her own book club. We purchased for quarters and dollars several piles of castoff books out of the trunk of Seri’s minivan. We watched the llama family and tolerated the screaming parrot. Some of us played with frogs and jumped on the trampoline. Some of us most certainly did not.

   We shared fears about serious illness and the spider-webbing effects it can have on life. We talked a lot about parental relationships, both abstractly and intimately. My friends had good advice for me, and they cannot know how much I appreciate it. We talked about the human ego, the female tendency to berate ourselves while glorifying others, and the difficult power of taking long hard looks in the mirror. Somehow, probably because we all needed it, the talks kept circling back to the mechanics of surrender. Once you know you should turn something over to God, or faith, or Love, or prayer, however you express that yourself, how do you actually go about doing it? What does surrender look and feel like? What are the dance moves, so to speak? And how powerful is the imagination, after all?

   I’ll eventually get around to writing a proper book review, but here are some of the quotes we shared with each other as among our favorites. All are directly quoted from the book and belong to Marianne Williamson:

I accept the beauty within me as who I really am.
***
That which is surrendered is taken care of best.
***
What we withhold from others, we withhold from ourselves.
***
We can’t really give to our children what we don’t have ourselves.
***
Faith is the acknowledgement of union.
***
We create what we defend against.
***
Sharing our gifts is what makes us happy. 
We’re most powerful and God’s power is most apparent on earth, 
when we’re happy.

   I love my book club so much. I love every single woman here and miss dearly those who have moved on. I love the community we have built. I love the growth we enjoy. I love the recipes we share. I love our mutual addiction to books and reading. I love that we all get excited when we discover a young woman wanting to start her own book club at school.

   The downstairs of our house is still happily littered with crumb-dusted serving plates, stacks of used books, a bowl of grapes, and a few empty glasses. The Apartment is still full of sleeping beauties. The red wicker lawn furniture is draped in damp beach towels and errant socks. At midnight I filled the dishwasher and ran it but didn’t have the heart to clean everything up. As always, the loving vibrations are too irresistible to swipe away so soon. I just want to wrap up in the feeling and find all of my people and wrap them up too. Especially my babies, my girls who are nearly women now. Please pray for them.

   Thanks so much for another invaluable night, friends. We have real love among us. I am still trusting that amazing miracles are in store for each of you. At the farm we are enjoying a return to love in so many ways, the biggest being the realization that Love never left us.

All You Need is Love
xoxoxoxo

 
 

 

Leave a Comment
Filed Under: book club, Dinner Club With a Reading Problem, love, marianne williamson

And So It Begins…

June 17, 2013

   Tonight for dinner I enjoyed the season’s first bowl of hot pasta topped with olive oil, garlic, and…

FRESH HOMEGROWN BASIL

   And this is how I felt about it:

   The end.

4 Comments
Filed Under: basil, daily life, gardening

Zucchini Secret Service

June 13, 2013

   Last night as the sun was sliding downhill, past the pond and behind where the coyotes lurk, I went to the garden to check our squash vines. Given the war I recently waged against the cabbage pests, I’ve been fully expecting to one day discover thousands of those flat, grey squash bugs devouring my third most favorite crop.

   Side note: I like to use the word “crop” when referring to my garden, even though all it really amounts to is “a few plants we eat.”
   Anyway, imagine my surprise and delight to see not only this…
I zuchinni.

   …a beautiful early crop of firm, bright zucchini, but also this:
I frogs to a slightly lesser degree. But I love that they eat bugs!
   …two tiny green tree frogs!! And not a squash bug in sight.
   Dare I believe that these dime-sized creatures are eating the insects? Dare I hope to have a zucchini bumper crop this summer?
   Dare I stuck my arm in that thick vine forest to harvest said crop, knowing that frogs are nearby and might jump on me?
   I would honestly rather deal with the buffalo.
Chunk-hi, our four year old buffalo bull. We him completely.
   Happy gardening, friends!!
Frogs are scary, mmm-k???
XOXOXO

3 Comments
Filed Under: Uncategorized

13 Things We Do

June 11, 2013

1. When the garden hoses are already stretched across Kingdom Come so we can fill the water trough in the front field, we usually take that opportunity to spray down the buffalo. He loves it, especially if he’s shedding like now. Then he wags his glorious wet mane at us and gets us all muddy.

2.  We collect fresh eggs every morning and sometimes again in the afternoon. If our hands are full, then we carefully slip an egg or two in the back pocket of our cut off jeans and go about the day. Then later we forget about the secret cargo and sit on the Talking Tree swing and end up with a smooshy, crusty back pocket that is glued to our posterior.

3.  We listen to Johnny Cash classics on our iPhone while doing outdoor chores, often causing us to break into a groovy little two-step, often causing us to get long awkward stares from passersby. Few though they may be, people driving on our road have impeccable timing.

4.  We paint stuff turquoise, chalkboard, or more recently… gold.

5.  We have so many pairs of flip flops all around the house, and all of them are broken.

6.  We speak to the baby chicks in pretend foreign accents, guaranteeing that not only will they grow up to be terrified of us; they also will have no idea what any human is really saying, ever.

7.  Declare to each other every other day that we will eat more cleanly. Go to fewer restaurants. Never buy bread again. Cook less pasta. Ignore ice cream cravings.

Tuesday afternoon edit, just as I post this: 
Handsome just called me on his way home from the office.
We’re going out for dinner.
I had just this morning harvested great quantities of fresh veggies for eating.
These facts may or may not be related.

8.  We watch History channel and Discovery channel shows voraciously. Especially if they are about nature, Armageddon type stuff, or World War II.

9.  We pack our social calendar and generally over-schedule ourselves to the point of exhaustion. Then we take a breather. And immediately feel bored and as if we are missing out on something big.

10.  We groom the horses exactly thirty minutes before they had a pond bath appointment. This is akin to washing cars right before a big rainstorm.

11.  We consider it a noteworthy personal achievement to walk barefoot across the gravel driveway. This is exciting but necessitated by, of course, the broken flip flops.

12.  We play a made up game called “Name That Internet Meme.” Handsome is an avid Reddit peruser, and I am an avid Redditer’s wife. In other words, he watches the funny stuff and occasionally calls them out to me or posts them to my Facebook wall. I have gotten pretty good at identifying the meme just by its caption and punchline, with very little voice inflection on his part. This game is kinda hard to explain. If you “do” Reddit then maybe you get it. If we are friends in 3-D we can play it sometime. Super funny.

13. aaaannnnd… We watch llamas. We watch the heck out of the llamas.

The End.

3 Comments
Filed Under: daily life

Milestone, Miracles, and a Goodbye.

June 11, 2013

   Today was my sweet Momma’s birthday. Her double-nickel birthday, to be exact. Handsome and I joined her and my Dad, my baby brother, our nephew and his friend for dinner in the City. We ate a Tex-Mex feast on a very sunny balcony. So very sunny. Really hot. Like lava. The sun set in a curvy line behind the biggest skyscraper downtown. My nephew was confused.

Feliz Cumpleanos! 

   We had the best time. We always do, really. I love my family so much, and I know I take them for granted. I feel nauseous sometimes to realize how many days have passed since I’ve seen them, or weeks. Or months in some cases.

   Tonight we teased my Dad about how many wounds and scars he has on his arms and legs at the moment. To say he is accident prone isn’t quite right; it’s more fair to say that he has an abject disregard for his personal well being and never ever stops working. Physical work.

   My nephew quipped, “Grandpa’s not really a handyman; he must be in Fight Club.” In addition to his numerous bumps and bruises, this would explain why Dad’s not much of a talker. No worries, because the rest of us love to talk. Love it.

********************

   Earlier today, before this heat and this laughter,  Handsome and I attended a funeral. A friend of ours buried his mother. She was older than mine, but not that much. She seemed too young to be gone, except that she had endured a long, difficult illness and her release was a blessing.

   Hearing our friend’s grief to say goodbye to his Mom was deeply moving. It softened my heart in unexpected ways; and it certainly made the hours I spent with my own Momma tonight extra sweet.

   He and his brother both read beautiful poems they each had written to honor their Mom, and the whole room held our breath together then sobbed gently.

Me with Momma on Mother’s Day last year.
She taught me to love gardens and gardening.
She has a carefree, affectionate gardening style, 
and this is one corner of her paradise in Oklahoma City.
Those blue and purple flowers behind us? Larkspur.
She cut them all and brought them to our farm in large buckets 
early the morning of the wedding we hosted last May.
That’s how she is.

   I also exchanged some loving notes with my first born today. I cannot overstate what a miracle this is, this recent trend between us. And soon I want to describe the journey from despair to joy in full, but not tonight.

   That’s all I really have to say. Just that life is full of reminders to love more deeply and appreciate each other more fully. I received my reminders today.

   Happy Birthday Momma, I love you so much!!

   And friends, please say some prayers for the peace and comfort of our friends Trent and Carrie and their family. Thank you!

Love your people.
Anticipate Miracles.
xoxoxoxo

 

1 Comment
Filed Under: family, love, mothers

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 155
  • 156
  • 157
  • 158
  • 159
  • …
  • 227
  • Next Page »
Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

Pages

  • bookish
  • Farm & Animal Stories
  • lazy w farm journal
  • Welcome!

Lazy W Happenings Lately

  • friday 5 at the farm, welcome summer! June 21, 2025
  • pink houses, punk houses, and everything in between June 1, 2025
  • her second mother’s day May 10, 2025
  • early spring stream of consciousness April 3, 2025
  • hold what ya got March 2, 2025
"Edit your life freely and ruthlessly. It's your masterpiece after all." ~Nathan W. Morris

Archives

July 2025
M T W T F S S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  
« Jun    

Looking for Something?

Theme Design By Studio Mommy · Copyright © 2025

Copyright © 2025 · Beyond Madison Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in