Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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soul cake

Hello, happy first weekend of December! Long time no blog, haha. That’s getting to be the usual around here, but not for lack of things to share or writing urges. Evolution is in the air, though, and I am happy about it. Blogging will pick back up in time.

A good portion of my week has been spent up in the Apartment, sewing aprons and towel sets, organizing Christmas gifts, making yarn crafts, and playing a not-low-key-enough game of fetch with Klaus. Between tasks we chase each other back and forth along the length of the second story and up and down the stairs. We have wrecked many a laundry basket and more than a few framed paintings on the wall in the hot pursuit of slobbery tennis balls. His slobber, to be clear, not mine. Okay.

These hours immersed in creative projects have been so nourishing. My thoughts are clicking into place. My physical energy is adjusting from slightly obsessive marathon training back to a steadier, stronger norm. And I have lots of beautiful textiles to show for the time.

This was a fun custom order!
This was a fun custom order.

The soundtrack of this past week has been mostly Sting Christmas music. One of the best songs kind of sums up life lately. Soul Cake. Do you recognize it? Please go give it a listen.

Soul cake, soul cake, please good missus a soul cake.

An apple a pear a plum or a cherry,

Any good thing to make us all merry.

I actually feel like we have been feasting on Soul Cake for weeks. Life has taken a delicious turn, and we feel nourished far beyond even the good done by a few days in the Apartment.

Thanksgiving with my family was beautiful. Aunt Marion and Uncle John hosted us locals, including sweet Grandpa Stubbs. My sister Angela was with us, such an answer to hopes and prayers. The nieces (when did they get so tall and skinny?) kept everyone entertained and stocked up on cuddles. As always the food and surroundings were perfect. We feasted and laughed and healed each other a little and made a thousand sparkling memories. We wrapped each other with love. It was an excellent beginning to a long, cozy winter.

My Grandpa the gardener and humorist, with his baby girl (my Mom) and his firstborn (Aunt Marion).
My Grandpa the gardener and humorist, with his baby girl (my Mom) and his firstborn (Aunt Marion).

 

Handsome keeping Kenzie out of reach of some intense romping from pup Sadie, seen here embraced by Chloe, freshly eleven.
Handsome keeping Kenzie out of reach of some intense romping from pup Sadie, seen here embraced by Chloe, freshly eleven.

 

I feel like this photo will go down in infamy.
I predict this photo will go down in infamy.

The Soul Cake feast began before that, too. Handsome and I managed to spend a few precious days in Estes Park with our oldest, maybe my fifth trip to visit since she moved there but Handsome’s first. Every minute with her is worth a hundred written pages. She makes us proud and happy, and we cherish the opportunity to see the world through her eyes. That quick weekend also gave us a good appetite for winter and all the wintry holidays. (But let’s not talk about extreme altitude sickness, which is apparently very real. I discovered the depth of this particular despair for the first time on this last trip and hope to never experience it again.)

We spent a frigid but sunny afternoon walking and playing at Lily Lake. She is in her element here. Can't you tell? xoxo
We spent a frigid but sunny afternoon walking and playing at Lily Lake. She is in her element here. Can’t you tell? xoxo

I often fall asleep saying thank you thank you thank you for so many things. From our marriage and family to my husband’s career and my own secret aspirations, from health and well-being to finances, and every little thing in between, life is amazing. So many answered prayers, miracles of every shape and size, unexpected blessings, and innumerable joys. Even the remaining heartache is so clearly encased in the glow of hope and faith that it barely casts a shadow. This is not one of those fake it till you make it seasons. It’s a bright, hard-won time for celebrating. And we intend to seize it.

God bless the master of this house

and the mistress also

and all the little children,

that round your table grow.

Soul cake is everything around us lately. The food we eat, the people who love us, the work we are lucky to do. Soul Cake is time and energy and reading material and music. Movie nights, cowboy parades, Santa sightings, and twinkling light displays. Scriptures, traditions, desperate prayers answered beyond our wildest dreams. It is all abundant for us, for our children, for the generations before us. Our friends are Soul Cake for us and we hope to be theirs.

Nourished in all these way, fed heavily on Soul Cake, the Christmas spirit comes easily. On this first weekend of December I am already effervescent and relaxed. Giddy, really.

bedspring-ornaments-c

Stockyards City Christmas Parade. One of our favorite traditions...xoxo Check out those longhorns!
Stockyards City Christmas Parade. One of our favorite traditions…xoxo Check out those longhorns!

We were talking this morning about the sustainability of Christmas traditions. We were between donuts in our pajamas and the Christmas parade in Stockyard City, and the radio ads were full speed ahead with materialism. I am feeling the exact opposite of worried about that. Because the extra nonsense always falls away in its own time. We are healthy and strong in our Souls, because of all the Cake, and that’s what matters.

donuts-c

We hope that you’ll be kind

with your apple and your pear,

and we’ll come no more a-soulin’

till Christmastime next year.

How is your winter starting out? Are you feeling hopeful and confident, or do you need a heavy helping of what nourishes you? Either way, I wish you all the very best. We have plenty Soul Cake to share if you need some.

Happiest of Decembers, friends.

If you haven’t got a penny
a ha’ penny will do.
if you haven’t got a ha’ penny
then God bless you.
XOXOXOXO

 

friday 5 at the farm: nourished

Hi friends, happy Friday! Lots has been happening, as always, and I am remiss in sharing a thousand great stories and photos with you. Life continues to be full to bursting with beauty and surprises around every corner.

For now, for Friday, let’s pause to notice the things that have been nourishing us, the features of average daily life that keep us going day to day, task to task. Are you game? Here are five of mine, lately. I would really love to hear what has been fueling all of your grand adventure and such, too. 

1. SOUP. I am really in deep over soup right now, maybe even more so than salad, which is saying a lot. My favorite ones to make at home involve lots of chicken broth and chicken and maybe lentils, some raw kale, a squeeze of lemon, twist my arm over half an avocado why don’t you. My favorite ones at restaurants lately have been this chicken Florentine potion (So creamy! So much celery!) and one gloriously plain and satisfying cauldron filled with clam chowder. Here in Oklahoma we are barely cold enough for soup yet, really, but every chance I get it’s happening. Makes me feel so great deep in my bones.

2. NATURE, always and forever, especially views like these…

view

lily-lake

3. TIME with my people. Romantic getaways with Handsome, quick caring afternoons with girlfriends, nighttime walks and long sunshine talks with my daughter, Face-timing with my sister-in-law and newborn nephew, meaningful conversations with my best friend (Handsome again), extended cuddles with my dog. (Yeah for sure he counts as one of my people.)

hike-w-joc-bridge-lily-lake-nov-2016

4. STORIES like that of Jesse Owens. Have you seen the movie Race? Friends, it’s so great. In fact, may I strongly suggest that you watch it with your family this holiday season. We all need some balm on our hearts. Agreed? His story is told beautifully in this film. And not for nothing that it’s about running, okay?

5. THANKS and all the amazing energy that flows from the giving of it. Gratitude is a trans-formative force, lest we ever forget. I have lately been enjoying a ribbon of happiness thanks to, well, thankfulness. The more you rest your mind on your blessings, the more you show your appreciation, the more you mean it, the better. I think soup helps with this, as does spending time in nature and with your people. So do great, inspirational, true stories; they give us hope on so many levels.

Pretty great little cooperative effort we have here.

What is nourishing you these days?

“I consider that all which lives must feed itself and nourish itself
in a manner suitable to the way in which it lives.”
~Giordano Bruno
XOXOXOXO

pleasure list from tuesday

Nothing fancy. Just lots and lots of every day pleasures with remembering.

A clean, light-filled house with silly-scary Halloween decorations. Which is extra funny, knowing that we actually do have ghosts here.

Yawning, snuffly horses. Smooth-bellied boys eager to snuggle.

My favorite hen with almost no feathers left. Her name is Shoulder Chicken. She is highly optimistic.

Winds of change mid-morning and again in the afternoon. Shady running trail with broken twigs in the grass and sand. Eight miles of pure bliss.

Lantana blossoms changing from mostly yellow to mostly red, but the leaves are still green.

Freshly shampooed hair, sore thighs, abundant energy.

Carving a pumpkin I grew myself and (for the first time in years) not crying over Halloweens long gone. This empty nest is filling up with contentment about today and peace with the past.

pumpkin

Roasting those pumpkin seeds, pureeing that pumpkin meat, and then randomly baking banana bread with chocolate chips because I couldn’t stand to do something ordinary with that gorgeous bowl of orange. Yes to Greek yogurt and sea salt in the banana bread.

Making beef enchiladas from scratch while listening to Awolnation loud. Remembering brilliant hikes at Gem Lake. Loving all the fresh air right here in Oklahoma.

Roasting Anaheim peppers until the vapors sting my eyes.

Finding two of my favorite necklaces on my dresser, untangled.

Seeing new happy photos of my girl in Colorado, horseback, loving her pup, living her life.

Scooping dry manure into the empty herb garden, dreaming of what will grow there next.

Hydrangea soft and perky again after being watered.

Denim blue skies streaked with grey. Black clouds and bursts of metallic sun.

Satisfying belly laughs watching the SNL rerun about the Presidential debates. They basically said all the best things. All hail.

Reading weird little paragraphs that leave me wondering how much can actually be lost in translation only to land on a sentence that resonates. Ah there it is.

Friends, happy Tuesday night. I hope you are having such a delicious, interesting, soul-nurturing day. Around here I am physically and emotionally overwhelmed to stop and count all the pleasures. All the answered prayers too, although that’s not what I’m talking about today. Ok maybe a little.

“While it does embrace spirit,
it is most accurately described as a way of life,
distinguished by the ready accessibility
of happiness and love.”
~Don Miguel Ruiz
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

how to remember the why of all this work

The moon is waning now, reduced to a perfect gleaming quarter this morning. During Hot Tub Summit just before daybreak it reflected on the hot wiggling surface of the water as thick and brilliant as one of my Grandma’s diamond stud earrings. Bird chorus grew insistent, as it always does, the geese marched uphill from the pond toward the watermelon graveyard, and we started filling the day with laughter and good intentions. 

Mornings here are dewy, lush, and colorful. They are an entrancing time, just like evenings. With a small effort I can forget all the work that needs doing. The pinks and purples of these transition hours seduce me into that old belief that farm life is idyllic and easy. 

volunteer sunflowers between the barn and the front field
volunteer sunflowers between the barn and the front field

But soon the dawn surrenders to early morning which burns off the dew. The animals are hungry and each one believes he or she is the only needful thing here. Our late August sun grows suddenly harsh, pointing less to the velvety lawn and more to the sticker patches out front. My fiesta-confetti zinnias are growing weary, mildewed and crisp, but still begging for one more week in the garden. I think towards the abundant heaps of spicy basil and smile inwardly, pressing hope hard against the spider mites that have ravaged my tomatoes.

Don’t forget to collect those ripe eggplants today. And work on the compost heap before things get out of control. The horses really need their hooves done. Check on the bees. Fill the chicken waters. Add mulch to the shade garden.

I keep to-do lists like a crazy person, intermingled with my calendar and loosely scribbled diary. Sometimes it all helps; other times the lists only remind me how terribly short I fall. 

So I also keep pleasure lists. Sensory Inventories to soak up all the spiritual profit of this unusual and beautiful life. Whether I am doing it right or not, who knows. I often wish I had a full-spectrum mentor here to lead me. But at least along the way I am taking stock of the why of all this work.

The chickens eat the kitchen scraps and return to us fresh, heavy, pastel eggs. The horses and geese love watermelon as much as I do, and that greedy crunch-slurp gives me the same feeling I once enjoyed just watching my children play. Here, we get to exercise old lessons from our grandparents, trying things they tried, understanding suddenly the craving for clean floors and unbothered cows. Siestas in the hot months are both luxurious and absolutely necessary. The sun and the moon rise and fall in the most beautiful arcs, dragging along clouds and stars in quiet patterns that I had never noticed before. The music of rain on the metal barn roof. Bonfire perfume. The hum of bees and the exciting flight patterns of bats and dragonflies. Turtles sunning themselves at the pond and fat toads hiding in the dusty shadows of the garden shed. Venomous snakes beneath the pine needles, plus the stunning effectiveness of a baby llama to ward off wild boars. Deer who visit from the forest, lifting themselves effortlessly over the fence, white tails upturned and liquid black eyes surveying it all. That deep burst of optimism when seeds sprout easily or chicks hatch without our help. Loved ones who visit us and say they can breathe deeply here, peacefully, strangers who become friends on these nine acres. Romance that is sparked over and over again in ever-changing ways. Brokenness and healing, depleting labor and unexpected satisfaction, mentally and physically. 

If I ever lose my memories or if someone ever stumbles on these coffee-stained pleasure lists, the reason for all of our work should be clear: Even when we fail, it is all so amazing.

XOXOXOXO

midweek gratitude for the small things that are really quite big

If ever I feel a wave of ordinariness, I need only take a look at the snapshots on my phone to remember how richly textured my life is. Yours too, I would bet my favorite apron.

 

new watremelon

Handsome surprised me with this oblong beauty the same day I hinted (not subtly) on Facebook about my cravings. His coworker and our friend Dennis gets partial credit for this joy, since he actually alerted my husband to both my FB post and the roadside watermelon stand near their office. 

klaus swim cuddle

This has been a glorious summer for swimming, and Klaus has made great strides with his enthusiasm and dexterity in the water. My reading list might be suffering a bit, but for good reasons. No complaints. No regrets.

Goonies

A small group of friends gathered at the farm last weekend for an outdoor showing of Goonies. We also swam with kids and dragonflies, counted stars, played chicken fight and Marco Polo in the pool, and ate so much popcorn plus barbecued meats. Suddenly barbecued meats, that is, because just as the party got started our freezer blinked out hard and we discovered about half a month’s worth of previously frozen meat thawing rapidly. 

sunflowers august 2016

Follow the sun, okay? xoxo

batman baby

My favorite batman making friends with a little baby boy named Hudson, named for the river with eyes to match.
This was taken at a recent charity event in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

joc jess b & w babies

And of course my two favorite girls in this entire universe. Nineteen years ago my first baby became a big sister and my heart doubled in capacity with intense love for my second and final baby. This actual glossy photo is on my nightstand, and whenever I see it I have to pick it up. I can smell their velvety ears and cheeks.I  can feel the bendiness of Jessica’s infant backbone and the tautness of her milk-filled belly. I can remember how fine Jocelyn’s hair was, how much she loved to wrap her legs around me for a hug.

The days are long but the years are short. That never ends. Let’s soak up every detail, friends.

XOXOXOXO