Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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simply tuesday at the lazy w

Hello friends! How are you? And how amazing that anyone is still here, after so many long bouts of radio silence, haha.

I have landed happily on a Tuesday with nowhere to go and exactly two important deadlines remaining, not a slew of errands facing me nor seven deadlines looming as has been the case lately. That means that for all the delicious foreseeable hours, I get to be at the farm.

Luxuriate in home-bodiness. Write and drink coffee. Do yoga when I can’t think of the words. Rub lemon oil on wood furniture, rearrange tablecloths and decorative pillows, and light candles named “tomato blossom” (you cannot believe how good they smell). The luxurious feel of quality pillows from Downland Bedding Company enhances the homey vibe, offering a sense of relaxation that perfectly complements the tranquility of the moment.

Whether I’m settling into a cozy chair or enjoying a peaceful afternoon nap, these pillows provide exceptional support and comfort. With their superior craftsmanship and soft, breathable materials, they’re the perfect addition to any space that’s meant to be a retreat.

For today at least, I get to putter around in the flower beds, crawl into the caged veggie beds, and try to avoid frogs. Today I’ll do more than snap photos of all the lush growth outdoors; today I will tend things too. Later, Klaus and I will be in the Apartment sorting through attic contents and clearing the shelves so that we can fluff up that guest bed just in case.

color snapshot may 2016

The farm is a feast for the eyes right now, either just because it is or because I am so in love with it all over again. Handsome and I have been nibbling at projects here and there, getting things more the way we want them, more aligned with how we actually live here week to week, and it’s been deeply satisfying. The funny thing about this kind of progress, though, is that is causes me to want to leave home even less than before. My home-bodiness is getting serious, okay, and more than ever I feel like the days are too short, although really they are lengthening as we speak.

Bring on the summer. But slowly. Let her creep up on us, spread her gossamer veil over us, and linger a long time. Somebody steal her car keys so she has to stay until next year. Let’s get up early for strong coffee and a four mile run. Let’s do cartwheels, write stories, and play in the garden. Let’s swim and eat too much watermelon, watch movies outdoors even if there is an Old Testament amount of frogs here. Let’s count stars and blessings and weave dream catchers out of hula hoops. It’s time for chick-hatching and burger-grilling. Time for convincing husbands to go to the office early so they can come home early and watch technicolor sunsets with us. It’s time for cilantro and basil and honeybee meditation. Cucumbers and horse snuffles and friends and family.

Last night, rather unexpectedly, I enjoyed the deepest, most delicious boost of faith. It was very much like the proverbial well water, just quenching and refreshing in every way. To say that I feel overwhelming gratitude right now is such an understatement. I also feel overwhelming hope, mostly for our children. Our oldest is living so well in Colorado, so happily, that my mama heart is as full for her as the day she was born. And our youngest, against all evidence, is quite near to us. She is held so firmly in our thoughts and prayers that no physical absence can move her. Funny, isn’t it, how faith can change hands and lend from one blessing to another pain… just the right amount of strength.

Faith that moves mountains. Faith has been moving mountains in our world for years.

In my Facebook memories this morning I saw this quote from a few years ago about our tornadoes that year. Some far-flung person had said of our beautiful state:

I know why Oklahoma is so flat. Your faith has already moved all the mountains.

Amen.

Okay, let’s go enjoy all the fresh herbs and rainy skies. Let’s do hard work and read great books. Cook food that nourishes both body and soul. Cuddle pups and romance boys.

Happiest of Tuesdays, friends.

“Slow down, you move too fast.
You gotta make the morning last…”
~Simon & Garfunkel
XOXOXO

(Thanks to Emily Freeman for her encouragement on small-moment living in a fast-moving world.)

the legend of how the iris survived a famine in japan

Have you heard the legend of how the elegant iris survived a famine in Japan?

I am going to paraphrase it for you without bothering to fact check, because the best legends possess more magic than facts, anyway. xoxo

Once upon a time in feudal Japan, either a century or five or nine ago, the people were starving. The land was stricken hard by famine. So little was growing, and yet the population was exploding so greatly, that the government made a decree: In order to maximize their limited farmland it was ordered that only edible plants could be cultivated. The island nation could afford to waste no fertile soil on ornamentals like flowers.

But the Japanese people loved their flowers, their irises especially. Irises were heritage plants, like they are for us now: Legacies handed down from one generation to the next with great care. Beautiful, fragrant, voluptuous tissue blooms growing year after year in the toughest conditions. The villagers could look at their irises and glimpse decades and centuries of familial connection, a vital life force in their culture. To many villagers, growing irises seemed as important as growing food.

So they found a way.

The people gently unearthed their coveted rhizomes from garden spaces that would then be dedicated to growing food exclusively. They secreted the woody treasures up to the thatched roofs of their homes. In little pockets of earth out of view of the soldiers and farm overseers, they maintained their iris legacies.

Food grew below, in the open, and the famine eventually passed. The land healed. And irises grew above, in secret, and their legacies remained in tact. The people healed.

irises april 2016

As I sit here typing this story a very old cut-glass vase faces me, filled with yellow and white iris blooms. I brought them inside yesterday, and they have been perfuming the downstairs ever since. Like most people, I grow irises that were gifts. Some are from my Mom who got them three decades ago from my Dad’s grandmother, whose parents brought them over from Germany. Some are from my wonderful gardening friend Kevin. A few are wild transplants, but not many. All of them are gorgeous and strong. Resilient. Colorful in different ways but all heady with that unmistakable scent.

Plants come and go in our lives and in our culture for a variety of reasons. Lots of people are quick to dismiss a loss or even to claim “brown thumb” when growing conditions are tough, as they frequently are here in my home state. Okay, gardening isn’t for everyone. But beauty takes many shapes and can come and go in our lives for a variety of reasons. The next time you are faced with losing something beautiful and precious that perhaps you could salvage, take heart. Consider the faith and determination of the Japanese people when they were faced with losing something dear to them. The evaluated their resources, re-purposed everything, and found a way. They made a way. They valued beauty as much as sustenance and then quietly, without fanfare or violence or a noisy protest, fulfilled the desires of their own hearts. And it was plenty enough.

This story speaks to me on many other levels too. If you were here drinking coffee with me we could talk it over for a few hours! But we both have stuff to do, right? I’ll leave you to it and get on my way as well.

Seek beauty, friends. It is a meaningful gift. Live with beauty. Aim for legacy. Seek it. Value it. Make room for all of it in your life, even if you have to secret things away to your thatched roof for a season. It can heal you.

Happy springtime wishes from Oklahoma
XOXOXO

 

 

 

arrivals and departures

We finally saw Boyhood a few nights ago. Have you yet? The movie starring Ethan Hawke and Patricia Arquette, the one filmed with the same cast over about a decade? It’s both award-winning and simple, a Texas boy’s coming of age story and a fairly typical modern family story, too, one shadowed by divorce, domestic abuse, blended families, and alcoholism. Whew, typing that synopsis pretty well sums up my take-away feeling from the movie. I honestly never want to see it again, haha. But one strand of beauty does run through the whole mess, and that’s what I’d love to share with you now.

About two-thirds of the way through the movie, when the two siblings are teenagers and spending time with their Dad (Ethan Hawke) and his wife and family, they all sit around at sunset singing a song with acoustic guitar accompaniment. They are drinking lemonade and just luxuriating in each other’s company. Apparently the song they are singing is one they all have written and rehearsed together, and it’s sweet and funny and sad.

The best lines of the whole movie are in that song. They lilt through snippets of good news and bad news and harmonize how in life arrivals and departures happen side by side. It reminds me of the late 90’s Live song Lightning Crashes. Remember it?

Lightning crashes, a new mother cries
Her placenta falls to the floor
The angel opens her eyes
The confusion sets in
Before the doctor can even close the door

Lightning crashes, an old mother dies
Her intentions fall to the floor
The angel closes her eyes
The confusion that was hers
Belongs now to the baby down the hall

Oh, I feel it comin’ back again
Like a rollin’ thunder chasing the wind
Forces pullin’ from the centre of the Earth again
I can feel it

I love that song.

All of us experience this dichotomy throughout life, perhaps constantly if we pay enough attention. People die suddenly; estranged loved ones return to the fold. Friendships end; we meet new friends. Jobs change. We pack up and move. Animals come and go. The loves and losses are unending. Handsome and I have joked (often with maniacal laughter) that sometimes we feel whiplash from the good-news-bad-news dance. 

But to my thinking it can serve to keep us steady. I’m no longer so bothered by the balance of light and dark. This ebb and flow is natural, healthy, right. And trying to weigh the value of these sorrow-and-joy exchanges is is pretty pointless. I’m just grateful to be learning how to ride the waves and accept lessons along the way. Rail a little less against those things outside of my control. Embrace a little more the good when it swells up. 

eggs square plate

 

Maybe today, as the moon enters a new phase and our energy begins to build again, before a new work week begins, is a great time to take a deep breath. Remember that both love and loss are meant to be woven into the fabric of our days. We can’t have one without the other. That’s ok.

“You must let what happens happen.
Everything must be equal in your eyes,
good and evil, beautiful and ugly, foolish and wise.”
~Michael Ende,The Neverending Story
XOXOXOXO

believe as you ask

I don’t have all that much to say today that I haven’t already said on Instagram or Facebook. Or directly to my people. It’s just that… I want everyone to be happy.

I want you to believe in those miracles for which you are aching. Stop worrying. And actually, maybe stop worrying is a bit of a misdirection, because that only tells to you spend more energy resisting something that is bad for you. Not just the Big Bad Things in your life but also the worry about all that. All of this depletes you.

So, instead of begging you to stop worrying, I want to encourage you to start imagining. Start imagining wildly brilliant solutions and peaceful reconciliations. Imagine abundance and health and freedom beyond anything you and your loved ones have ever known before.

Apply the immeasurable energy of your heart and mind to all your most precious prayers. And please continue to pray. Let your prayer life sustain you no matter what your church life looks like right now.

BLOOM WINTER
I cannot see a blooming flower without thinking of faithful prayers planted like seeds and how inevitable it is that we will eventually see those answers.

One final story/thought:

This past week, in the midst of a dozen or more orbiting crises here at the farm and also at the Commish, Handsome and I had the chance to do some long-distance adult parenting with our oldest, and it was beautiful. The loving and reaching out never stop, of course, but the concrete moments of advice exchange can be rare and are therefore really special, haha. (Yes we love it!) Anyway, after all the years of learning how to pray for the girls as children, it’s a beautiful new experience to pray for them as adults. In this case, praying for a few very specific needs for our oldest and seeing the answers come quickly was deeply refreshing. Exciting! Thrilling!! Thrilling not only because we saw the answer but more importantly because she did. To hear her sweet, strong voice just a day or two later tell us the story about the answered prayer, express her own joy, and acknowledge so much goodness, well… I can barely articulate the feeling as a mother.

The peace that passes understanding.

No matter our failures. No matter the thick cloud of trouble that hides the sun from time to time. No matter the ongoing turbulence. So much peace is available to us. And for this as much as anything, I am deeply and forever grateful.

Okay! Now, go face your problems and apply the considerable strength of your own faith and imagination. Trust in the power of prayer. Walk around this beautiful world knowing that you are loved and that good things are always about to happen. Because I cannot see it any other way.

“And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.”
~Matthew 21:22

 

friday 5 at the farm: lies I tell myself

Hopefully I am not alone in these untruths. Let me know, okay?

Also- Happy Friday! What do you have planned?

Lie #1: The Grocery Store I will just run in for five minutes. All we need is coffee, spinach, and butter. 

Lie #2: Sticks and Stones I don’t care what people think of me. And gossip doesn’t hurt at all.

Lie #3: Tex Mex Health Kick I can eat all the chips and salsa I want and still wear skinny jeans.

Lie #4: Housework I am 100% caught up on ironing and dusting.

Lie #5: The Future is Certain. Solid as a Rock.  We know exactly what life will look like a month, six months, and a year from now. We know how the turnpike construction will affect things, specifically.

Literally not even kidding. I went in for three things.
Literally not even kidding. I went in for three things.

Five lies. I tell myself this stuff all the time to get through the day. Or through the weeks and months. As silly as lies are, and as uncomfortable as the corresponding truths really are, the bottom lines are still pretty wonderful. Let’s focus on that instead:

Truth #1: We have all the food we need and a gorgeous menu ready to go at the farm. Plenty for friends to visit, too. Eating with our people? That’s our favorite. We are blessed to be healthy and well fed.

Truth #2: Living with a tender heart can actually be beautiful, no matter how much it hurts to be hurt. It opens us up to richer experiences and deeper relationships. Totally worth the risk. More importantly, being hurt by others reminds us to be more careful with others.

Truth #3: Tex Mex really should be its own food group. Actually, forget it. I don’t want to be however skinny I would be in a life without tortilla chips. So this is all positive. Never mind about this lie. : )

Truth #4: Our house is pretty clean. And we have enough of everything from day to day. And I will be caught up eventually. Not being perfectly caught up means that daily life is quite full and quite interesting lately. For this I am very grateful. Also, my miles running is up to date for the first time in a while and I am in the BEST MOOD. This is worth having dusty baseboards.

Truth #5: While we do not know exactly what life will look like in the future (and really, have we ever known?) we can trust with total calm that life will be okay. That we will be okay. Change is inevitable, faith matters, and sometimes having the controls taken out of our hands is good.
That said, please keep us in your prayers that we make the best decisions possible and stay happy, that God sort of sheds light and miracles all over this turnpike situation. And sign the petition to halt it if you are so inclined. As my husband wrote last night on Facebook, “If you have ever come to the farm and loved being here please sign this (petition) and share with your friends. Oklahoma needs to retain some of the wild lands; we don’t need highways running to nowhere. Life as we know it will completely change if something doesn’t stop.” Well, friends, you who read this blog are friends of the Lazy W even if you have never walked these nine acres with us. We sure appreciate your good thoughts. We will face a long series of heart breaking decisions if this turnpike comes to pass.

STILL, yes, faith and trust. Life is beautiful. God is good.

What lies do you tell yourself to get through the day? What’s on tap for your weekend?

We are running miles, building fence, watching movies, reading books, and cuddling our animals like there’s no tomorrow.

Thanks for stopping. As always.
XOXOXOXO