Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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my heart goes out

December 24, 2015

My husband does not know this yet, but he gave me the best Christmas gift a month early, way back at Thanksgiving. A day or two after the big family feast, he said rather off-handedly, “You did good, babe. It really felt like Thanksgiving.”

We have been married fourteen years, and these last few have brought unprecedented fundamental changes, scary ones. Maintaining sanity and a sense of ongoing joy has been challenging at times, especially at the holidays. So what he said was probably the very best compliment he could have paid to me at that moment. An excellent early Christmas gift.

thanksgiving family photo

I probably don’t need to expound on the idea that as adults it’s the feeling of the holidays we’re chasing, even as we busy ourselves with traditions old and new. We are all trying to summon the best of childhood, the best of our imprinted ideals, the best of everything for our most precious people. It’s not just that we want certain stuff or foods; it’s that we all want to feel a certain way, and we have learned rituals to help us capture those feelings.

gen nieces cookies

So we cook, decorate, shop, and prepare for the holidays. Maybe we berate each other too much for putting so much energy into this. So many guilt trips about materialism and excess. There is a middle ground, right? Everybody wants to eat, enjoy, remember, and live again those most prized feelings. We want so much to keep them going, alive, moving though the generations. I keep thinking of the Olympic torch, you know? The opportunity and responsibility of passing along the flame, not allowing it to go out for lack of trying or because of outside quenching conditions.

This is a hard holiday for lots of people near and dear to us.

My heart goes out this Christmas. To so many people, in so many ways.

I miss our two girls differently and viciously. I ache deeply for our friend Jeff who lost his Mom just a few days ago. I am sad for my own parents who are coping with hardship in the generations both ahead of and below them. I cannot move through any holiday tradition without hurting for my husband whose childhood family will never be the same again.

christmas comet

cookies

JOY

 

And still so much joy! Still so many reasons to be more than happy… Hundreds of reasons to be truly, brightly grateful, both in childlike ways and in very adult, wise, lasting ways too. My heart goes out to so many people, maybe because life, despite life, is rich enough to nourish us, fatten us up and make our hearts big enough to share with each other. We are overwhelmingly blessed.

I hope that making it really feel like Thanksgiving carries over into our Christmas. And then into every important thing we need afterwards, in the new year.

I hope that whatever is going on in your life, whether it’s hardship or bliss, abundance or leanness, or maybe acute, terrifying grief, that you are able to feel the most important things. Fill your heart to the brim with gratitude. Accept Love when it is offered. Be connected.

Let your heart go out. Do not feel guilty about chasing traditions if they help you keep those best feelings alive.

klaus santa

Thank you for your early gift, Handsome. It was perfect. But yes I still want to open everything wrapped up under the tree. : )

Friends, thank you for stopping here to read! The Lazy W wishes you and yours a very Merry Christmas!

minted card 2015

XOXOXOXO

10 Comments
Filed Under: 1000gifts, Christmas, faith, memories, thinky stuff

wordless weekend review

December 14, 2015

I am fresh out of words, mostly. Or maybe I just don’t trust myself with words today. This weekend has been so lovely. Here are a few photos. They represent the tip of the happy December iceberg, and as I jam out this quick blog post on Sunday evening I am more than content and very much looking forward to the new week.

A very silly, casual night on the town with good friends. So many good laughs!

restaurantchristmas game

The cutest little girl puppy I have not met yet.

baby girl C

My baby sister added me to Snapchat and probably regrets it. Mostly she just replies with a photo of her thumb in the “thumbs up” position. I don’t mind.

snap chat puppy C

I am really, really, really into Christmas lights. So into them. Long live Christmas lights!

colorful lights C

Having fun assembling little headbands in between apron and towel orders. There are a million and one uses for fabric scraps, you guys!

sunday flower front

Friday night I needed emergency ice cream and chocolate; tonight I needed emergency salty carbs. All of this plus some whole wheat penne made my belly feel magical.

sunday pasta

 

Now Handsome and I are watching funny Christmas videos and Klaus is being passive-aggressive when he doesn’t get his way by wrecking my big poofy pillows.

How was your weekend?

XOXOXOXO

1 Comment
Filed Under: Christmas, daily life

a wonderful, unremarkable day

December 23, 2014

Yesterday was so fun in a patchwork-Christmas kind of way. I was busy from the minute I woke up to the minute we crashed in bed (I fell asleep with my red kimono still on, I was so tired). Monday was filled with sewing projects, animal silliness, fresh high-vitamin food and also frosted sugar cookies, scarlet red poinsettias, and two of the people I love most in this world. It was an unremarkable day by the calendar, but it was absolutely thrumming with Love. And already I can see that today is, too.

It started early. While sitting at my sewing machine in its temporary dining-room spot, I heard a harsh tapping on glass. A cute little white chicken we named KFC was perched on a milk can in the front flower bed, staring into the picture window there, tapping her beak on the glass. I had already fed everyone. So much, in fact. I  swear, the more I feed the animals the more they expect to eat. It’s ridiculous.

KFC the chicken trying to pressure me into giving out more treats.
KFC the chicken trying to pressure me into giving out more treats.

Then a little while later I heard the same tapping and discovered that KFC had relinquished her window post to this hen we have named Red Dot. (So named because she is red and has a dot on her face.) Red Dot stared at me with the most disgruntled expression a chicken can possibly have.

red hen in window

The big mood lifter for everyone yesterday was the return of sunshine. For more than three weeks Oklahoma has been wrapped in fog, dark clouds, and just a flannelly cocoon of winter weather. We are not built for this much darkness! I really don’t know how people in the Pacific Northwest cope with it. So yesterday we all felt refreshed just seeing the sun. I went for a quick little 3 mile run wearing only a light jacket, and I had thoughts like better get the pool opened up soon!

Even with cool temperatures, feeling sunshine on our faces and arms was pure luxury.
Even with cool temperatures, feeling sunshine on our faces and arms was pure luxury.

Even the animals were in high spirits, as if the window-tapping chicken story wasn’t enough to convince you. Our oldest was home for most of the day and did some fun ground work with Dusty, her horse. And by ground work I mean they practiced climbing hills and played gone-gone peekaboo.

These two. xoxo
These two. xoxo

It was a cookie-making night, and I had so much fun. I even stopped counting how many carbs were sneaking into my grateful mouth, that’s how much fun it was! Martha Stewart’s Royal Icing recipe, by the way, is perfect. Perfect, easy, and stunningly uncomplicated for her. It gives a nice glossy shell and is thick. My only complaint about last night’s cookie extravaganza was the conspicuous absence of red food coloring. Why? Why is there never any red? In twenty years of having my own kitchen, I have owned red food coloring maybe three times. It’s mystifying. Who is taking it? The chickens?

Bet royal icing: one cup powdered sugar, one egg white, few drops lemon juice, food coloring. BAM. Perfect.
Best royal icing: one cup powdered sugar, one egg white, few drops lemon juice, food coloring. BAM. Perfect.

How is your week of Christmas going? I hope your heart is peaceful. I hope your home is warm with joy. I hope your expectations are set more on Love and surprises than on purchases. I really hope you’re not counting calories… just pleasures and memories and moments.

Thanks for sharing a few minutes with me! Happy Christmas Tuesday, friends. I’m off for seven miles and some Christmas caroling with the parrot.

“He who has not Christmas in his heart
will never find it under a tree.”
~Roy L. Smith
XOXOXOXO

 

3 Comments
Filed Under: 1000gifts, animals, Christmas, daily life, gratitude, memories

sparkling joy

December 19, 2014

Sometimes when she’s home I want to hug her so close and squeeze her, cup her face in my hands and stare into her ebony eyes. I want to press her close to me and stroke her long brown, satiny hair and smell her and cradle her like the baby she hasn’t been in nineteen years. But I get this feeling of restraint, like when in a sleeping dream, a book or newspaper appears and the harder I strain to focus on the words, the blurrier they become. Eventually my efforts to read wake me up, and the dream is gone. Dissolved. Sometimes I feel like if I squeeze her too tight, if I want her home too much or cause her to feel all the love I have for her, she’ll be gone again.

Jocelyn at age four, Christmas morning. Scrumptious! xoxo She still is, too. Every bit as beautiful, loving,  and sparkly in every possible way.
Jocelyn at age four, Christmas morning. Scrumptious! xoxo She still is, too. Every bit as beautiful, loving, and sparkly in every possible way.

That’s fear, not faith. And it’s never love that drives people away; it’s Love that brings them home.

She’s home. Home for dinner, home for movies, home for laughter and silliness and talking about everything under the sun, both serious and easy. Home for her horse and our family and memories old and new. Home to figure things out and also to just relax.

She’s home for Christmas, and my heart is bursting hour by hour, over and over again.

Nest feathering… Preparing the Apartment for her stay has been as much fun (more so even) as decorating a nursery for a newborn baby. I have felt every bit of the same joyful, nervous anticipation I felt just before her due date almost two decades ago. And daily I think of our friends Brad and Trisha who right this minute are expecting their first child, also a girl, Avery. I am beyond words excited for them! They’ll be amazing parents, I know. Avery is already a lucky little girl. And in what will feel like moments Avery will be a young woman visiting her parents for Christmas. And they will be so elated they will scarcely find words for the feeling.

Of course, our baby (not a baby anymore, I know!) is a busy girl, so it’s not like she’s here all day every day. But she’s here. Close. It’s music to hear her walk in the front door, her pretty, sing-song voice saying, “Heeeyyy, we’re here!” (She often brings a friend.) And it is beautiful just to see her tiny-feet sneakers paired up against our work boots. Cooking for her is a total pleasure, too. It’s become a running joke that somehow on the nights she eats at the farm, I manage to repeatedly serve either some variation of pork chops or spicy Italian food. It’s the weirdest ongoing coincidence ever. Last night we had homemade chicken and dumplings, so maybe the streak is finally broken.

Sometimes when the house is quiet and I am thinking about all that God is doing for us, in this arena and others, I can’t stop smiling with my whole face.  My back teeth chatter together gently, and I giggle until I cry. Of course there are still needs in life, still unanswered prayers. We know that. Except that they aren’t unanswered. Every wish deep in our hearts has already been heard and addressed. Every tear shed, already invested in laughter in the future!

This is for you too! All the faith you have been living is already accomplished in a miracle bigger than you can even imagine!

Brad and Trisha are experiencing a miracle different from ours yet still very much the same. They have been waiting to be parents for a long time, just like us. They have loved their daughter without seeing her, just like us. They have trusted God and the power of love and prayer, just like us. And their broken hearts are mending. Only to burst again with joy. Just like us.

Sparkling joy,
joy unspeakable
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

4 Comments
Filed Under: 1000gifts, Christmas, daily life, faith, joc, thinky stuff

Merry Christmas from the Lazy W!!

December 25, 2013

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas Day…
Deep peace in your hearts…
Good food on your table…
Even if it is small-town Chinese food take out
because you lost power on Christmas Eve…

Love in your words and in your touch…



Laughter in your rooms…

Because when things go crazy, as they have here recently,
what else can you do but laugh? 
Also… You’d laugh too, if you were playing referee between 
a jealous parrot and a jealous lap dog in a dark room.
Fire in your hearth…
Flexibility when you need it…

and the best of tradition too…
The miracles we need always come right on time.
Trust in the power of Love and in His timing.
Many blessings and thanks for your friendship
from our home to yours!
From Handsome, Marie, 
and the silly menagerie 
at the Lazy W
xoxoxoxoxoxo

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Filed Under: Christmas

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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