Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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a girl and her horse

She loves him so much. I can see it in every movement, every word, every giggle. He loves her, too, like he loves no one else. They communicate in a secret, amazing way.

dusty joc black n white compressed

Her thin, muscular legs wrap around his belly, guiding him and loving him. Her hands brush and braid his mane or his tail. Her arms wrap greedily around his thick neck while her tiny feet endure hoof smashes and the occasional tap-kick. She pretends to scold him for this in a voice dripping with patience and understanding.

She leads him in circles and urges me to ride him, teaching me what she learned while she was gone. Such an incredible trade, an unexpected gift. She cleans his hooves and extends his legs forward to stretch and cuddle some more. She combs her fingers through his long, fuzzy, gray and white winter coat. She teaches him and loves him and needs him and is needed.

She shivers in the cool breeze but insists on keeping her skin (such a beautiful olive wrapping) exposed to the sun, she craves it so much. Then I bring her a blanket anyway so she can stay warm but also cuddle against him, warm on both sides now. She is as swaddled and kissed as when she was a baby, and watching her I feel every impulse in my body as before, everything in my heart and mind firing off with love and energy and hope for the future. Her future.

She holds his hoof and he holds her heart, and at this moment everything is exactly how it’s supposed to be. And I whisper thank you, thank you, thank you to the One who makes it possible.

XOXOXO

farm update: january’s breath of summer

It’s Wednesday afternoon, and my biggest work is done, miles ran, house clean and quiet except for normal Lazy W sounds. Schedule clear until dinner with friends tonight. I am forcing myself to sit down with a salty snack and cold drink, just to offer a quick farm update and return some emails. Because really, I’d much rather chat with you outside. So would you if you were here.

The weather here in Oklahoma, in case you haven’t heard, is temporarily glorious. So glorious it makes being indoors a little difficult. I get antsy. Warm afternoons, cool evenings, starry nights, and abundant sunshine day after day. The fresh air is intoxicating, so our windows are all open. Curtains billowing inward like a dream then sucking back against the screens with no warning. Rooster crows and buffalo chuffs making the silence fuller, warmer. Sunlight streaming in and colliding with the disco ball, scattering silver blurs all over the living room. I love all of this. It’s like magic, this symphony of beauty for every sense. Every spring I remember just in the nick of time why we live here, just when I was about to start packing boxes and move either to the Equator or the city.

The animals are blissing out, too. Egg production is up from six or seven per day to nine and sometimes even eleven. And we’re getting minty green ones still, which are my favorite. There’s a lot of, um… chicken romance happening all over the farm, so if things go well our little flock could make it possible for us to hatch out some gorgeous feathery babies again this year. We have a greater variety of breeds now, too, so this could be fun.

The llamas have rearranged their pecking order since Dulcinea has recovered from her pregnancy. Interestingly, while she was El Preggo, she was very clearly at the top of that adorable little totem pole. Then came Romulus, then Meh, oblivious to being in last place. (Llamas seem to be matriarchal, which could be why an expectant mother rose to the top despite her youth. This is my unprofessional observation-based opinion.) Now recently, Dulcie has fallen to the bottom, with her baby brother above her and Big Daddy Rom up top. “Where obviously I belong,” he seems to say with his stately gaze. Anyway, she’s doing great. The fall from grace has actually made her more cuddly to us, so we like it. Handsome really seems to be enjoying his extra cookie time with the llama he has always called Little Bit. xoxoxo

Yesterday we were pulling up the driveway at a particularly warm, still moment and saw Chanta napping in the sun. He was all folded up against himself, basking, no halter on his face, breathing with his entire body. The sight was beyond precious. I snapped these photos showing his startled wake-up. The fourth photo, had I managed to take it, would have been him stretching his legs and neck as far as they would go. And yawning. He is the yawniest horse I have ever seen.

chanta 1

chanta 2

chanta 3

Tulips are breaking ground. This is said with a great measure of self control, because as soon as anything breaks ground, I can think of little else besides gardening. This, together with the insanely gorgeous temperatures, makes it difficult to remember we are still finishing up January. About 50 days still to live fully until the official start of the loveliest of all seasons.

Live fully, Marie, live fully, Carpe every single diem.
Don’t waste too much time reflecting on the past or anticipating the future.
Today is beautiful and important.

On that note, I’ll wrap this up and go scoop some manure for composting. I hope wherever you are that the weather is kind to you. I hope if you are still in winter’s bitter grip that you have lots of soup and fuzzy blankets nearby to warm your bones.

Count your blessings. Make the most of today. The days add up.

“A garden is always a series of losses set against a few triumphs, like life itself.”
~May Sarton
XOXOXO

 

new moon farm update: closing the ranks

I have been feeling extremely protective lately. More so than normal. Protective over my children, my husband, our home, our animals, my gardens (though they are dormant, they are beautiful and precious to me), my time, body, emotions, thoughts and opinions, you name it… I have for a week or so had this deep and powerful need to keep threats at bay and create space for everyone. It’s a thrumming momentum I feel. Not an absence of energy but a tide of it. And a strong tide at that. And it is kind of wearing me out.

Yesterday more than other days recently, I woke up feeling a bit prickly. You know, less open-armed and more closed off to the world. And that’s not really my personality. I feel this periodically, and over time I’ve learned to take this feeling seriously, to not brush it off and waste the brief season. I’ve learned that there is a beautiful purpose to this shift in my heart and body.

Well, in addition to actual life challenges, it turns out that Tuesday was also a New Moon. Funny, right? That means that for the previous two weeks our energies had been slowly draining and gradually approaching, basically, empty. It could have a lot to do with the worn out feeling.

It makes so much sense now. It’s like my soul knew before my mind realized it when to shed extra weight in my schedule and consciousness and sort of lower our family’s center of gravity. Focus. Breathe deeply. Create all that much-needed space.

So I am closing the ranks. This is not depression; it’s just a refocusing. I’m not going anywhere extraneous for a while. I am still running my miles and eating healthfully and showering every day and doing lots of housework and wearing bright colors to combat the late winter doldrums, but I am also saying no over and over again, to anything that is not serving us essentially. No volunteering, no driving across town for unpaid projects, no visiting with people who make me cry and confuse my heart. Right now I need to build up some strength and just breathe. Catch up on work around the farm, reset some projects and priorities. And really, this season of closed ranks won’t last long; I am pretty sensitive to the moon and will surely feel the swell of the waxing weeks just as strongly as I felt the waning.

********************

This wouldn’t be a Wednesday farm update without sharing some news.

First, Jocelyn has been visiting us still and spending lots of time training the horses. And training me with the horses, truth be told. Chanta and I daydream of so many magical horse-and-rider moments. He told me things are promising. I’ve only had one fall (off of Dusty, so it was a short trip), and it did not involve a visit to the dentist. Bonus! Joc and I are having so much fun and making a thousand happy memories together. I am in awe of the young woman she is becoming.

 

joc dusty

 

The hens are laying eggs consistently, including a minty green (maybe it’s actually blue) egg yesterday, the first one like this in over a year! So gorgeous. I love the colored shells so much.

 

Fancy Louise. World's most affectionate hen. xoxo
Fancy Louise. World’s most affectionate hen. xoxo

 

Chunk is still a tire flipper.

Pacino is still a wooden floor wanderer.

And little Meh has decided that sweet grain is totally delicious if he can no longer have his mama’s milk. So that is all really great.

On a sad note, the bees I found a few days ago appear to have been robber bees, not my beloved Lazy W Honeymakers as I had announced on Facebook. The hives are in fact depressingly empty except for a small cluster of dead bees, so I am frustrated beyond words. I’ve spent so much time, energy, and money on this beekeeping project that a second total loss is almost enough to make me throw in the towel. Many thanks to those of you who have already said sweet things about this bummer news, and thanks in advance to those of you who now will. I don’t yet know exactly what happened. But I will do as much reading and observing and asking around as necessary to figure it out.

 

lights

 

It’s fine, you know, to close the ranks when you need to. Tend your temple, feather your nest, look well to the ways of your own household first, especially when your emotional resources are limited. The energies will shift again and strength will build back up, then other kinds of work and pleasure will be on my mind.

How are you? Do you notice a shift in energies when the moon is waning?

“If you surrender to the wind, 
you can ride it.”
~Toni Morrison
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

 

farm update: pacino wanders

Do you know about Bobby Pacino, our parrot? I’ve written about him before, surely. He is a blue and gold macaw, almost ten years old. And he is craaaaaaazyyyyyyy. Not that crazy, we do love him to a million feathery little pieces. He knows upwards of about 130 words and phrases. He is interactive and affectionate. He is really smart. He is extremely noisy and messy and demanding, and for all the animals we keep at the farm, he is the only one allowed indoors. But as self-centered as he can be, Pacino does loves us more than we give him credit for.

Well, friends, my Lazy W update this week is that we have a new development in our life as a parrot-centered family. Pacino has figured out how to depart from his open perch in the living room and just wander the house.

Here’s an example.

I was in the kitchen tonight cooking dinner, just minding my own business, with my laptop open in the adjacent dining room so I could write here and there. I heard a click-click-click… Then a little whispered “Hi mama,” and then… He peeked his smooth green and striped head around the corner. Way down on the floor. He climbed that chair you see and started working on stuff. He had parrot business, apparently.

Fine by me.

Bobby Pacino, sous chef and writing supervisor.
Bobby Pacino, sous chef and writing supervisor.

 

He’s been doing this for a little while now, maybe a week or so. Sometimes he waits until Handsome and I are settled in the green room watching a movie or something and he just eases his way down his metal perch (we can hear this activity) and click-click-clicks across the wood floor to our carpeted floor. He definitely thinks he’s sneaking up on us, so we allow the charade. Once he hits the carpet, he announces himself and we’re all one big parrot-centered family again. Then he climbs up the couch where I’m sitting and perches directly above me with his longest tail feathers either over my shoulder or in my face. It’s how he rolls.

 

My new accessory goes with every outfit. I just can't wear earrings.
My new accessory goes with every outfit. I just can’t wear earrings.

 

So this is how I’ve been spending the cozy evening hours lately. With a super fancy parrot stole. Honestly, it’s like having a toddler. After a long day in the house just Pacino and me, his high volume and general antics can be a little much. So thankfully Handsome helps keep him busy and does stuff like hold him upside down (this sort of hypnotizes him) and mostly makes me laugh about it all.

But I digress. That’s for another post.

The big headline here is that Pacino no longer calls from his perch and waits for us to come get him. He just goes where he wants to go. We’ve even heard him click-click-clicking around the kitchen while we’re upstairs. A few days ago Handsome walked downstairs early in the morning and surprised Pacino, who was walking around freely. Just walking. Pacino said “Uh oh,” and scuttled back to his perch.

Not even kidding you.

We’re not upset about this at all, because it means slightly less parrot screaming. We do have to baby proof things a little better, knowing that at any unsupervised moment Pacino could eat and/or destroy anything in sight. This has definitely added a new dimension of surprise to daily life.

And a much more feathery way to watch movies.

Do you have indoor pets? What have they done to surprise you lately?

He owns us.
Send help.
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

mid-winter farm update

Well, friends, we are past the holiday season as well as the winter solstice, and there are only eleven cold, barren weeks standing between us and springtime. So I think it’s safe to say we are mid-winter. Not too shabby. Not too shabby at all. We can endure anything for just eleven more weeks, right? And there is so much to do before then, anyway. So much to enjoy. So many cozy pleasures. How about a little mid-winter farm update? We’ll take a Lazy W tour, starting at the front.

Front Field:

The bachelors (Chunk our buffalo and Chanta and Dusty, our two horses) are doing great. They are faring very well in this cold weather, having grown nice and fat as well as quite furry ever since, well, since around Labor Day weekend. We’ve been periodically buying extra bales of “free choice hay” to keep them constantly fed and warmed from the inside out, and since the truly frozen days have been few and far between, keeping their trough filled with clear water has been a totally manageable chore. We may have to swing a sledgehammer to break the ice once in a while, but it seems like every time the water level drops, the temperatures are just high enough to open the faucets. The Lazy W has seen far worse winters than this.

 

f5f dusty shades

 

When Jocelyn has time to visit the farm she makes sure Dusty gets some exercise, which I love to watch. She is so confident, and he is so playful. You can tell just by watching them that they love each other dearly. If she parks her car in the gravel driveway between his field and the house, he whinnies and bellows until she relents and walks over to him. (Such a tough sell.) She is teaching him some basic footwork here and there, and he is teaching her that he prefers bareback rides, no saddles please and thank you very much. All of this, of course, always results in extra cookies from me, whether she approves of my methods or not. : )

Yard Birds:

The geese are still patrolling these nine acres noisily, with unfathomable angst, honking and strutting with their wings extended like sky gliders forever anchored to the earth. Duck Duck in particular has put on an obscene amount of winter weight. He is barely recognizable now, no longer the fuzzy yellow baby we rescued in summer! But to a goose, at least to a goose who’s never heard of Norwegian winter feasts, this new-found obesity is excellent news. Duck Duck struts around the farm waddling his fat belly and shimmying his thick, flightless wings. He and Momma Goose laugh haughtily when I go out back to run miles against whatever sugary indiscretion I have most recently committed.

By the way, Duck Duck the adopted Canadian Goose is the main character in our first children’s book effort! I am so excited about this. Really excited. But I think he knows how excited I am about his story and is using it against me, like, emotionally? Instead of showing any appreciation? Geese can be very manipulative. Most people don’t know that.

 

??????????

 

Despite the cold temperatures our Lazy W hens are laying consistently. I am so grateful for this, because their eggs are absolutely divine. Heavy, yolky, delicious. And such pretty brown shells! I collected seven eggs on Monday morning and found one of them to have hairline fractures. Really beautiful. Not crushed, but frozen apart like burst pipes. I know! Frozen eggs. Completely edible. I couldn’t resist pressing my thumb against the vulnerable spot.

 

egg cracked

 

The Middle Field

This is the only sad news I have to report this week.

I may or may not have written this for you here, though I’ve whispered it to visitors, but I have for a while believed our young female llama, Dulcinea, to be preggo. Just judging from her behavior with Romulus (or, more to the point, his behavior with her AHEM), her increasing appetite, growing midsection, and overall neediness with Handsome and me but aversion to Meh, I was placing little bets with myself that she would give birth before Easter 2015.

 

dulcie in snow

 

Well, unfortunately, she couldn’t keep her little baby that long. We walked out to the barn this past Saturday morning to discover that she had delivered her very first baby far too early, and he did not survive. I’m glad she took herself to the warm barn for delivery at least. The tiny, clearly premature cria had exactly the colors and markings of Seraphine, our recently deceased matriarch of this gorgeous llama clan. Seraphine would have been the new baby’s grandmother. The cria was absolutely precious and so fragile looking, so thin. Dulcinea had expelled the placenta in tact and was not too bloody herself, only swollen, but also sad and ravenous. Once Handsome had removed the little thing for burial, she looked and looked and sniffed for him, crying in a way I’d never heard from her. It was incredibly sad. So we feed her heartily and give her as much affection as she would accept. Though needy, Dulcie had grown skittish since her coming of age. Ever been through that, ladies?

Life goes on. Death is certainly a part of life, like it or not, and we may never get all the answers we want or understand exactly why we have to endure so much of it. What we can do is continue to earnestly love those who are still here, those who are in need of what we can offer.

So that’s my mid-winter farm update! Thanks so much for visiting. We certainly collect more joy here than sorrow. More beauty than work. And that is why we stay.

Now I am going outside dressed in three million layers of warmth to feed and talk to our menagerie! I hope your day is cozy and productive. I hope your animals, if you have them, lend you some of their magic today.

Hang in there.
Winter is halfway over.
XOXOXOXO