Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

stormy pause

We woke to more steady, drenching rain, the kind that hypnotizes you, plus generous crashes of thunder. At some point overnight we lost power, too, so the house was warm and quiet, dark despite the hour. Thick, woolly clouds smothered virtually all of our sunrise. We caught just a shimmer of brilliant lightning first in one peripheral and then another, but mostly we felt the muted dark.

The geese honked contentedly. A rooster crowed from inside the coop. The llamas sat on their verdant hill, facing west, right out in the open, getting soaked and more comical looking by the minute. (Have you ever seen a really wet llama?)

No electricity means no coffee*, but that’s okay. It also means a willful, pressing quiet. It means the isolated staccato of rain falling in our chimney. Stillness around me, absent the air conditioner and other humming appliances.

WW candle books

No electricity means I have a chance to sit and reflect with precious few distractions. No laundry or ironing to do, no music, limited life on my laptop battery, no cooking, no sewing, no vacuuming… Lots of thinking. My heart soaks up ideas and emotions while the fields soak up the rain. No electricity is not such a bad thing. And this weather is such a gift! The gardens will enjoy a deep swig of life without my tangled, cumbersome garden hoses; the animals will be cooled all the way down to their dirty hooves; and the dust on our spirits will settle a bit, collecting some much needed energy after yet another devastating life storm just this week.

The power is off for now, but at some unexpected moment later today it will whoosh back on. The lights will blink silently. This modern house will yawn and stretch and rouse herself for another day of work. Our routines will return to us, like they always do. And we will see that life goes on, that storms always pass, that Love still lives here.

The little reed, bending to the force of the wind,
 soon stood upright again when the storm had passed over.”
~Aesop
XOXOXOXO

*About half an hour after he left for the office, Handsome zoomed his car back up to the front door of our house, and I panicked. I thought something was wrong. But he had just returned to the farm to deliver to his electricity-less wife a large coffee from McDonald’s. So, see? A little power outage isn’t so bad. It can be a breeding ground for romance. Even if your guy has to be gone all day. xoxo

Saturday Morning Stress Management Ideas

A few of my friends are having a really hard time catching their breath lately. Stress is building up and stealing their joy in heart-breaking ways, and I hate it for them. I hate it for myself, too, because I love my friends and want them back. LOL I want their shine back in my life. You know? : )

So today, before I walk out to the garden, before I start preparing for the new bees which we are bringing home tonight, before we go play with the new cria who was born yesterday…

 

Seraphine has once again gifted the farm with a beautiful, healthy little cria. And we are, once again, madly in love.
Seraphine has once again gifted the farm with a beautiful, healthy little cria. And we are, once again, madly in love.

 

I want to share a simple formula I use in times of paralyzing stress.

Start with your environment. If you need to relocate to somewhere more peaceful than where you are, do that. Or, if you need to spend half an hour cleaning your house in order to enjoy it more, do that. I always think more clearly with a clean, shining room and a fragrant candle. That’s just me. Speaking of environment, I also suggest considering your most personal environment, your body. Go get really sweaty for a while, doing whatever you do that feels good to you (I like running, duh). Then take a shower and get cooled off and peaceful. Now your slate is somewhat clean and you are ready to re-energize. The mind-body connection is so strong.

Now just sit still and count your blessings, big and small. When I say small I mean notice the colors and fragrances outside that please you, the loving memories captured in your home’s furnishings, the sounds of your people or your animals, etc. Notice the incredible things, too, like every bill that is paid. Every physical ailment that is in your past. Every broken relationship that is either repaired or removed. Be as wild and thorough about counting your blessings as you can possibly be. Spend real energy on this, to the point that you feel silly, because it will fuel your asking for new blessings. Soon you won’t feel silly; you’ll feel exhilarated. I use a pretty notebook to record these things, and I am still playing with Ann Voskamp’s 1,000 gifts exercise. You do what works for you. Just be detailed. Notice what feels amazing to you, what things you can’t imagine losing. Rather than giving any thought to the problems you’re facing, be thankful for the problems you don’t have. Notice what physical pleasures, which thoughts and emotions, every plan that excites you or comforts you the most. Spend a little energy magnifying those things. I promise whatever energy you spend here will be restored to you in spades.

Now write down a few wishes. Don’t even call them prayers yet; call them wishes, and be happy about it! Like, totally indulgent. If anything in the world could go exactly your way, what do you want out of life? (And by the way? I had the realization recently that what I want out of life is in many cases very different from what society thinks I should want. Be genuine!) Think about that outcome in detail, imagine it. Dwell in the possibility of total fulfillment, both short-term and long-term. Now pray over these things. Ask for them boldly, beyond what you by yourself would be able to do. This means ask largely. Ask for the most overwhelming version of whatever your heart desires, and trust that the best possible thing for you will happen. It really will! Trust that Love reigns over your life, because He does.

Finally, go do something for someone else. Simple as that. Your needs are now met. Your biggest hopes are being fulfilled even before you see the evidence of it, and you have life and energy abundant in you, overflowing. You have plenty to share, so go share it! For the rest of the day, anytime you have the urge to focus on your problems (they are real, I’m not saying they’re not), just dismiss the thought and remember that the solutions are forthcoming. Instead of dwelling in frustration, pain, or sadness, make a conscious choice to dwell in the mystery of the future, the overwhelming possibility of EVERY SINGLE WISH GRANTED.

 

Life is beautiful! Treat it with that expectation. xoxo
Life is beautiful! Treat it with that expectation. xoxo

 

Happy Saturday Friends! I’ll be back soon with farm updates and an installment of Tiny T’s love story!

XOXOXOXO

Icy Weekend, Ugly-Beautiful

   We woke before sunrise to the buzz of electronics losing power. An ice storm had moved through Oklahoma while we slept, and eventually the pale dawn revealed a hobby farm thickly encased by glassy, stubborn, frigid ice.

Oklahoma ice storms are beautiful but brutal.

   Our animals are all fine, thankfully. Their extra fat and fur are keeping them all plenty warm, and they also have shelter, high protein food, and forage. The power outage changes life inside the house significantly, though. And on a would-be very busy Saturday filled with holiday plans and tasks, succumbing to frustration would have been easy. But we really didn’t. (Not much, at least. wink!)

   Thanks in no small part to Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts, which gently nudges us to see the beauty in challenging situations, and also thanks to just a rich dose of Christmas cheer lately, my heart was light enough today to do just that. To see (mostly) magic in this unexpected Saturday Before Christmas. And you know what? Soon that is all I could see. I can’t even see the ugly any more.

********************

   I am so thankful for the breathtaking beauty of the gardens right now. These frozen herbs, these bent and frozen zinnias, all of this natural wonder in perfect wintry suspense.

When people say you can freeze your fresh herbs, this is probably not what they mean.

 
   It means we grew amazing things this year, that this little curve of earth is no longer void. It means that another swell of paradise is coming next year.

   I am so thankful for the freedom and ability to buy nice gifts for so many children we love. We do not take this for granted; nor do we take their presence in our life for granted. Handsome and I are very lucky to be called “Uncle” and “Aunt.” We cherish it. Have I ever mentioned to you that we have three million nieces and nephews? Well we do.

The Christmas memories you make are far more valuable than any gift you purchase. Please remember this.

  I am also thankful for the warm, pleasant feelings of nostalgia that washed over me all day, remembering so many little-girl Christmas seasons with our own children. This year, bitterly sad for so many new reasons, is oddly the first year I didn’t cry the whole time I shopped for gifts. In fact I caught myself giggling over and over, remembering so many fun things Handsome and I have done together over the years, things we did to surprise the girls and give them the best Christmas we could, year after year. Above all, we made memories. Now more than ever, this is clearly the most important part of all the work parents do at the holidays.

   I am so thankful for a messy living room, strewn with wrapping paper, Sonic ketchup packets, pine branches and other kindling, clean laundry, and unread books. I am thankful for the fluffy little dog my Father-in-Law has brought to live with us, because she brings so much new affection to our home. I am thankful for the paper whites blooming, for the pillows and soft blankets that beg us to cuddle, and for the candy canes, popcorn, and hot chocolate we can have for dinner. Because we’re grown ups and allowed to do that if we want.

The consolation of a deep, cold winter is a glowing living room.

   All of this means that we have a full life bursting with people we love and activities that truly nourish us. It means we have a home, not a perfect house. It means we work hard enough to relax on the weekend.

   I am so thankful for this small, colorful, happy little kitchen. I am thankful for this wall hook crafted my loving husband, loaded with slightly soiled aprons. I am thankful for that honey bee photo on canvas, a gift from our friend M when she and Hubs went to Alaska recently.

   This room reminds me that we always have plenty to eat. We often are surrounded here by people we love and who love us, and that I have been cooking lately with my youngest daughter, with friends, and by myself, feeding very special people, creating meals and desserts that nourish our bodies and make us priceless memories. 

********************

 
   Difficulties abound, no doubt about it. But so does sweetness. So do opportunities to make really special, one-of-a-kind memories. Love reigns supreme if we allow it to.

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” ~Philippians 4:8

   I hope this finds you making the most of whatever circumstances are thrown your way. I hope your Christmas wish list is longer on “Fun to Have” and “Love to Show” than it is on “Things to Buy.” And I hope that, despite the romance of a power outage, you have all the electricity you need!

“He who has not Christmas in his heart
 will never find it under a tree.”
 ~Roy L. Smith
XOXOXOXO

Random Sunday Evening Blog Update

   Whoa. I haven’t written since LAST Sunday? Whew. It has been quite a week here. Lots of normal busyness, a hefty dose of traditional and nontraditional holiday activity, some returning health and vitality (and the attendant long runs outdoors) and some brand new stressful surprises too. You know, totally perfect normal life stuff. How have YOU been?

   As usual I have about three thousand great philosophical things I’d like to sit and talk to you about, as well as some easy, fun stuff:

  • I want to tell you all about two books I read this past week or so: Stitched by Anne Lamott and One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. Have you also read them? I really need to talk about them. These titles are similar in message but vastly different in voice. I predict few people will groove them both too hard. But I did.  
  • You should totally make the pretzel-crusted salted-caramel brownies I tried from Ruth over at Living Well Spending Less. But do not overbake them or the caramel might pop out your fillings.
  • From now on when I make pie crust, I shall always and forever use half butter and half shortening or lard, instead of all butter. Still delicious and sooooo much flakier! It makes me want to make every pie recipe in the entire universe.
  • A Pinterest board I am curating with a handful of girlfriends, Gratitude and Joy Seeking, is gradually collecting lots of followers, and I am sitting here weighing different things we could do with that. 
  • I am fully, joyfully invested in Christmas right now. Inwardly I have been for a couple of weeks, but now that Thanksgiving has been fulfilled, beautifully I might add, my house and everything else can catch up to the colors, sparkles, and music in my heart. And especially since the Christmas season is a bit shorter this year, I vote for maxing it out with love and joy every single day!
  • Do you know how powerful giving thanks is? Do you have any inkling of what is at your fingertips when you use your imagination to its fullest positive potential? Beauty, miracles, grace, and new life are around every corner, in every dim circumstance, if we apply faith and allow Love to have Its perfect way.
  • Have you walked around outside at night lately? My gosh. Here in Oklahoma, the night skies will take your breath away. Last night we had a bonfire party with friends and family, and for a while about a third of us went on a star-gazing hike.  It felt wonderful. It makes me deliciously dizzy to gaze up like that in a cold, dark field… Then getting still and cozy again by the fire is just perfect.
  • Our llamas are suddenly spoiled rotten, hand-fed creatures. They are all three still cat-like in their willingness to be held and fully cuddled, but lately a person can hardly walk out to the middle field without being surrounded by three fuzzy, begging little divided noses. It makes the buff a little sad. He feels ever so slightly neglected.
  • You mamas out there will understand this… My heart is made light and airy, strong and bright golden, when I get long, loving text messages from my children. I am so thankful for this right now! What a wonderful week. I have a couple of really fun daughter-related details coming soon… So happy!
  • Hey, can we please talk about what to do in the garden this time of year? I am currently experimenting with manure tea for indoor gardening projects, and it just makes me so dang excited for spring. I know. It’s barely winter. CALM DOWN LADY.
  • I am going to work on a required reading list for women like me. Care to contribute ideas?
  • Sewing takes up all of my spare time lately, which is flat out wonderful. If you happen to be in the market for an apron or some such textile-ish item for Christmas gifting, send me a message.
  • It’s that time of year when I drink coffee early every morning, work hard around the farm, run a few miles, take a shower, then drink hot tea every afternoon, before the men drive home from work. I am usually reading or writing during these breaks. What is it about the pre-dawn hour and the pre-dinner hour that make my mind work in this hot beverage kind of way? Do you do this?
  • Have you heard the new Macklemore song? What is your favorite new music lately?
  • Foggy mornings at the farm have given me pause to consider the necessarily slow pace of life right now. More on this later, but just take heart that if you are being urged or forced to live one day at a time… You are not alone. Not at all. It’s totally ok.
   Life is amazing. Mysterious, surprising, terrifying, but amazing. I hope you are swimming in the deep pools of grace with me, exploring the riches of a life lived with open arms and a grateful heart. It is different in all the best ways.
   Talk to you soon! Wishing you a happy, restorative Sunday evening!
“You weren’t born a person of cringe and contraction. 
 You were born as energy, as life, made of the same stuff 
 as stars, blossoms, and breezes.”
 ~Anne Lamott
 Stitched
XOXOXOXO

 

#furiouslyhappy

   My ten-four-good-buddy M who curates a smart and insightful corner of the blogosphere called May I Have a Word recently posted this hashtag to Twitter, and it has stuck with me in the most wonderful way.

   She happened to attach it to some good daily news, just a simple celebration of something that in the moment made her life easier: Cheap fuel for her little car, Phoebe. And it’s so contagious! This joy! 
   Furiously Happy.
   I happen to know that she did this simple thing on a day filled with inspiration. She was brimming with that good stuff and allowed it to spill out all over everything and everyone nearby. I’m so happy for her and wish her a long, thick, heavy ribbon of that energy to last her a great many months! Years. Decades.
   What sweet M might not know is that she also did this simple thing in the middle of the week I have started my personal “One Thousand Gifts” campaign, my season of taking inventory of little joys (and big ones), of counting my blessings, of listing on paper so much absolute beauty in my world, my daily life. So her chosen words, Furiously Happy, are perfect. Once again.

   I’m on #107 right now, working steadily towards 1,000. 
   This is such a worthwhile exercise, friends! First of all, I highly recommend you find a copy of Ann Voskamp’s book One Thousand Gifts, the impetus, and read it for yourself. Another friend Amber drove me gently to read it, and I’m so glad! Voskamp’s stories and scriptural explorations are soothing, wise, and enlightening. I’m planning to give this book as a gift to some special people in my life.

   But even if you don’t do that right away, do this: grab an extra notebook and start immediately taking stock of beauty, happy surprises, simple pleasures, answers received, grace notes, blessings, miracles, etc. All the good daily stuff, all around you. See how long it takes you to reach 1,000 gifts, and maybe even make it a group project with your loved ones. It’s like the Facebook tradition of daily gratitude we all attempt every November, taken to the next level.

   Furiously Happy.
   The thing is, yes. Life serves all of us up with acute, debilitating pain, aching pain that lingers, and very real, very deep loss and grief. Our little farm family is enduring another dark chapter right now, one unlike any before. But God Who loves us so perfectly and so permanently… continues to bless us every single day! And counting and appreciating these blessings doesn’t deny that pain; but this habit may very well help to ease it. The cultivation of joy… The warm, open heart… May be the secret ingredient to our collective healing.
   Furiously Happy.
   I know that in my own turbulent faith journey, in coping with these changes with my children, this ongoing separation that is so impossible to understand, the worst times have been when I surrendered to the blackest pain. I become mean, bitter, jealous, unattractive, judgemental, unproductive, and physically unwell. Not good. I hurt myself, and I hurt my loved ones. Conversely, the best times have been when I surrendered to the brightest joys. Everything clicks. Friendships blossom, home life is downright blissful, my health skyrockets, and (get this) communication and affection with my girls improves like you can’t imagine. Much, much more laughter than tears. Unbridled goodness all over the place. It’s almost scary how much power I have with my thoughts and feelings. (You too, by the way.)

Choose Light every single chance you get. 
Which is every moment of your life.

   So I’m a big believer in the power of your perspective to actually shape your world. For me it has proven to be much more than a nice idea or spiritual theory; it has for several years now changed circumstances in my life. Wrap all that energy into focused prayer, and nothing is hopeless. No pain is forever.

   Furiously Happy. It’s more of a conscious choice than we sometimes want to admit. 
   So thank you, M! Thank you for articulating your burst of joy the way you did. I read it and imagined your eyes squeezed shut and your pretty brown hair shimmying as you shook your head and squealed the words. I love you and wish you many many repeated moments of Furious Happiness.
 
“To See the Glory,
 Name the Graces.”
~John Piper
   
P.S. as I hit publish I’m now on #128.