Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Archives for March 2014

Friday 5 at the Farm: Birthday Lessons

March 7, 2014

Happy Friday!! This is a special Friday for yours truly, and I do not mind indulging in a little extra dose of fun. This is officially the last Friday of my thirties. Wahoo!! Tomorrow I will turn the big four-oh, a fact that is oddly thrilling and not stressful in the least. Tonight Handsome is throwing me a surprise party, and I am really really really excited. (Don’t ask me how I know about it.)

Around the Lazy W, we have lots of wonderful birthday traditions. Among them is asking the birthday person what he or she has learned this past year. Okay, only I make people suffer through this, but I just love to hear how people have grown in a year’s time.

Last year for my 39th birthday I loaded you all down with thirty nine pieces of unsolicited advice. And you were such great sports about it!! I had a blast writing all of that and appreciate everyone’s comments and love.

Unsolicited Birthday Advice 2013, #1-14

Unsolicited Birthday Advice 2013, #15-23

Unsolicited Birthday Advice 2013, #24-39

This year, I will spare you an additional forty pieces of advice and just tell you a quick five things I have learned this past year. This will serve as our Friday 5 at the Farm for my 40th birthday week:

  1. Carpe Diem is important. It means taking life one day at a time, seeing each day for the unique opportunities it brings, and making the most of it all. It means not looking back for too long nor ahead. It means being present both mentally and physically. And it makes life much, much better.
  2. Grief is a powerful force, and it is different for every person. So it’s cruelly unfair to measure love by how we express grief outwardly. And while there are lots of normal ways to grieve, some of those can be terribly destructive and hurtful to others. I guess what I’m saying is that the lesson to judge not certainly carries into this necessary chapter of life.
  3. Exercise is as good for your spirit as it is for your body, maybe even better. You really really must find some kind of physical activity that you LOVE and thoroughly enjoy to the point of craving it, then make it a part of your regular weekly routine. It’s vital. It will work magic in your life.
  4. Miracles are still very real, and prayers can be answered suddenly, in bizarre and unexpected ways. Never give up on a good hope. Trust that your prayers are already answered, even if you have yet to see the “proof.” Be patient. Allow life to surprise you with how good it is!
  5. As cliche as it sounds, life really does get better and better, despite inevitable heartache and difficulty. So does romance. And feeling comfortable in your skin is a real phenomenon that does a world of good for women, and I wish I could tell my twenty year old self all about it.

 

Life is beautiful! Treat it with that expectation. xoxo
Life is beautiful! Treat it with that expectation. xoxo

 

That’s about it! Whether your birthday is soon or not, what have you learned this past year? I would absolutely love you for sharing it in the comments!

Now… I am off to get dressed for this surprise party Handsome is throwing. I am one lucky girl.

Carpe Diem. Especially Your Fortieth Birthday.

XOXOXOXO 

 

2 Comments
Filed Under: Friday 5 at the Farm, Unsolicited Advice

How Automatic Doors Teach Me Patience

March 6, 2014

Sometimes I approach a pair of automatic doors more quickly than they are opening. No, not sometimes, every time. I am never not in a hurry to get to the other side of those glass doors. This frequently results in stubbed toes or (because it’s me after all) nearly smashed front teeth. It’s embarrassing. As I stand there wiggling against time and closed doors, I check my peripherals and worry that people think I am Windexing the glass with my tee-shirt or reading taped-on advertisements up close; but neither of these is true. And at that last motorized moment when the gap is finally widening enough for me to slip through, I always get really irritated, panicky like a race horse, like it’s taking a full decade for the doors to fully open. Then I bolt through as if I am fleeing a fire or a skunk or maybe the librarian who knows my books are past due.

Something has to change.

Either the people in charge of designing and maintaining automatic doors need to invent some kind of a sensor that tells the doors to open at a speed conducive to the speed of the approaching traverser… Or… I need to slow down a bit.

Experience tells me this is my problem to solve, not the mysterious Automatic Sliding Door People.

I simply need to ease up and slow down. My stride needs to be gentler, less urgent. More patient.

 

january plate collage

 

We have heard since childhood that the best things in life are free and that good things are worth waiting for. These sentiments are so true! But they sort of fly in the face of busy adulthood, multitasking, and thrill chasing. In recent months Handsome and I have learned to take life one single day at a time, often one hour at a time. We have been forced to learn how to accept the good, loving, bright days for the wonderful gifts that they are and really soak them up in our bones. This can only be done at a slow pace, really. This can only be accomplished by pausing to notice details and breathing deep, cleansing breaths. Some days this requires more discipline than others, but the payoff is always amazing. And then we are always better nourished for the darker, more challenging days that inevitably follow.

Ann Voskamp and C.S. Lewis both liken this phenomenon to Einstein’s theory of relativity, though I am so sorry I cannot provide the right quotes. Just please set aside time to read Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts. It is heart-transforming! Perhaps it would be a perfect read for Lent if you observe that season. I think Edie wrote about it this past winter, too. The idea is so simple: the more your focus on the present moment and deliberately slow yourself, the more slowly time passes. Conversely, the more rushing about you do, especially when it is not absolutely necessary, the more harried you and your life become. And the more quickly your time passes. All of this and accomplishment are not necessarily bedfellows.

Patience.

On every level of life, from housework to heights of prayer, in all judgement and effort to get things done, hurry and impatience are sure marks of the amateur. ~Ann Voskamp

I have learned a lot these past months, but I still have so far to go. I still crave so much more stillness of spirit and personal power to carve out and build the life I imagine for myself and my loved ones. So much is available! So much noise is ready to be cut out and muffled. So much truth is ready to be unearthed.

So this means I will be walking through more doors in coming weeks and months. If they are automatic sliding doors, I plan to approach them more slowly. More safely and with greater patience.

Happy life-lesson-learning, friends! Protect your front teeth.

Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there someday.

A. A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh 

XOXOXOXO

4 Comments
Filed Under: thinky stuff, Uncategorized

Guest Blogger of the Month

March 4, 2014

Howdy! How are you? Are you surviving the wacky weather, keeping those springtime day dreams alive? Don’t give up, friends. We’re almost done with winter.

I have a super quick little announcement to make. For the month of March I will be guest blogging over at a lovely corner of the virtual world called Oklahoma Women Bloggers. It feels extra special to be invited at this particular month, because this month I am turning 40. The big FOUR-OH. eek! (I’m not really upset… Birthdays are way too much fun.)

 

Oklahoma Women Bloggers
Oklahoma Women Bloggers

 

I was lucky enough recently to enjoy a really leisurely, instant-friendship kind of coffee date with one of the editors, Mari, and today she has given me the sweetest introduction possible. Go check it out, say howdy to the ladies there, and then get inspired to think toward springtime, travel, and transformation, which is the writing theme this month. I know I’m ready!

Thank you Mari for meeting with me, and thank you for such a warm welcome to this smart group. I’m definitively looking forward to our farm days this spring!

To my regular Lazy W readers and friends, this week you can expect to read about the winning brownie recipe, how much our parrot loves the new baby chicks, the next installment of Tiny T’s love story, my 40th birthday, garden planing updates, and much more. Happy Monday! Make this week amazing.

A small group of thoughtful people can change the world.

Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.

~Margaret Meade

xoxoxoxo

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Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: OKWB

The Return of Tiny T

March 2, 2014

Well hello Missus Fancy Pants! Or Mister Fancy pants, as the case may be. I am so glad you stopped in on this exact day. Because today I am so happy to announce the return of Tiny T and his romantic (mis)adventures.

 

Tiny T stays pretty busy, you know, pitying fools.
Tiny T stays pretty busy, you know, pitying fools.

 

If you were a frequent reader here at The lazy W last autumn, then you may remember my short cohort and his pursuit of true love. I introduced his series on September 30th of last year.  We all had so much fun following his day-to-day choices and even guiding a few by group vote. It was intended to be a month-long choose-your-own adventure series, and you guys were FANTASTIC to participate so generously. I really loved you for it. You made it so much fun!

Everybody needs a few crazy friends, even Tiny T.
Everybody needs a few crazy friends, even Tiny T.

 

Handsome’s parents were among the warm, upbeat supporters of the Tiny T series, too, so much so that after the first couple of weeks they were making suggestions about which famous actress T should finally end up with. (Together they nominated an actress whose name rhymes with Sally Ferry.) I cannot tell you how much it warmed my heart that these two people, with so much heavy, serious stuff on their plate, took the time to read my silliness and encourage me. It turns out, even grown ups need their parents’ encouragement.

Thank you for that and so much more, Harvey and Judy.

Then we lost my mother in law Judy very suddenly. Overnight, all of our lives were forever different. I tabled the Tiny T series to focus on our family. But even as I wrote other things and life slowly and clumsily evened out, even after we had survived the holiday season more or less in tact, it never felt right to pick it back up again. My sweet father in law, Harvey, has spent the last four months with us here at the farm, and I could never bring myself to write even a ridiculous love story when he had lost his true love.

 

heart in soil

 

Well, some time has passed now. The grieving is certainly not done, but the shock has mostly subsided. We are finding little ways to move forward and make new, life affirming plans. Harvey has moved back to his home and Handsome and I are confident that he is going to be alright. We all have enjoyed a deep dose of familial love and now can relax enough to enjoy some silliness. Some Tiny T love seeking.

I hope you will join us! Perhaps you’d like to brush up on Tiny T’s Lookin’ for Love series so far? Here are the story installments from last October:

Introducing the Series

Episode One

Episode Two with a Vote!

Tiny T and Halloween Costumes

Episode Three

Episode Four, Another Vote!

Episode Five 

Introducing His Friends

Episode Six

Episode Seven

Episode Eight

Episode Nine

So all of that is what we have so far. This week I will write the next piece, picking up right where we left Tiny T, in New Orleans with two beautiful women to balance. Will you join us?

Tiny T thinks stories are best when shared and hopes you join the fun. "I pity the fool who doesn't believe in true love!" xoxo
Tiny T thinks stories are best when shared and hopes you join the fun. “I pity the fool who doesn’t believe in true love!” xoxo

 

 

Thanks for reading, friends! I hope your first weekend in March, whether sunny or snowy, has brought you the promise of new beginnings.

To Every Thing, Turn, Turn, Turn

There is a Season…

XOXOXOXO

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Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: Tiny T

You are One of Them (book review)

March 1, 2014

This month our famous little Oklahoma Book Club, Dinner Club With a Reading Problem, devoured a novel by young American female author Elliott Holt. You are One of Them was just published last year and is the author’s fiction debut. I LOVED it. I read it in 24 hours, gleaned a ton of understanding as well as new curiosity, and was perfectly satisfied with the ending. THAT is a fabulous reading experience!

You are One of Them by Elliott Holt
You are One of Them by Elliott Holt

 

This novel is almost a bit of historical fiction, following the political and cultural framework of the United States and the Soviet Union from the 1970s to present day. So I loved it for that reason. But it is also a lusciously insightful story of a girl who became a woman and navigated complex female bonds in the same decades I did. Do you know how few books are out there that detail exactly the things I treasured about my girlhood friendships? Not many. I loved it for that reason, too. As if all of that’s not enough, Holt’s storytelling and prose are just as strong and seductive as you’d hope for in a book you read in the final cold days of winter.  The story, after all, takes place in large part in the frozen, daunting landscape of Mother Russia.

There’s something painfully honest about winter: the skeletal trees, the brutal repetition of the cold. There are no empty promises, no hazy humid hopes. It’s reality, lonely and stark.

Side Note: Book club found it really nifty that we accidentally read a novel set in Russia during the Sochi Olympics. Total accident. Very cool.

While the story may be touted as one family’s ground-level experience of the Cold War years, and it certainly is that, I would also describe it as being every bit as much a telling of how a broken little girl becomes a strong, capable woman. I feel like Holt almost uses the Cold War and its risky, duplicitous complexities as a metaphor for how women and girls relate to each other. These can be the most dangerous relationships in life, right? I can totally hear you nodding your head dramatically right now.

At school I learned to catch my sorrow in my throat and then stick my head into my locker and let the tears slide down my cheeks without making any vibration at all.

As I read, I rooted for one thing to happen or another, and I slowly realized that similar bursts of espionage are at play in my own life. The pacifist in me had to admit that I have been resisting peace on some fronts for too long. Not only that; I have also been stubborn in my own sense of rightness. For far too long.

I have come to believe that forgiveness is the key to survival. It does no good to see everything as a struggle between opposing factions. Few things are that simple.

Right?

I so enjoyed this book that I hope you will track it down, read it, and let me know what you think.

  • What did you think of the friendship with Jenny?
  • What about the divorce and the estrangement from her father?
  • What about her mother’s fearfulness and distant love?
  • Tell me what you think of the ending!!

Dinner Club With a Reading problem met on Thursday night and  such a great time! I LOVE these girls. For the most part we all agreed that You are One of Them was a good book. The female bonds were interesting and believable. We all agreed the ending was a relief, though I won’t spoil that for you. We also agreed that we never ever wish to visit Russia. Was this the author’s intention? It’s hard to guess, because apparently she worked as a journalist in Russia, much like one of the characters in her book. Interesting.

I give this breakout novel by Elliott Holt 5 stars. I hope you track it down and give it a few days of quietude then let me know what you think.

Happy reading!

“I was tired of straight jacketing my emotions.”

~Elliott Holt

XOXOXO 

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Filed Under: book reviews, Uncategorized

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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"Edit your life freely and ruthlessly. It's your masterpiece after all." ~Nathan W. Morris

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