Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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quarantine farm facelift & a love letter to my man

When you pull up to our east facing front gate, you will now see giant, three-dimensional acrylic letters, cobalt blue, on the left. They spell out “Lazy W” and our house number. On the right you will see a vertical field of silk flowers, a happy remnant of Jessica’s thoughtful Mother’s Day gesture. (Their accompanying hand painted banner was at risk from high winds and is now safely tucked away in the Apartment.)

Pulling through the gate and up the gravel driveway, you may notice that the front field, previously the buffalo field, then a sandy, barren expanse, is now voluminous with wildflowers, native prairie grasses, and baby trees. We decided to allow Nature to mostly have her way here, and she is doing so with abandon. One detail we have contributed to this area is a meandering, three or four -foot wide walkway, just brush-hogged into the landscape. We call it “The Enchanted Path” and hope that people will gradually use it for prayer and meditation walks. I stroll there a few times every day, at different times, and it is lovely. Having a gently maintained path with a variety of visual destinations also helps me focus my flower planting strategies, if Mother nature ever needs a boost, ha!

Across from here is the Curves and Edges meadow along the south side of the gravel drive. It is growing more lush, too. Handsome continues to mow the line crisply, allowing smooth grass on one side and all manner of texture and depth on the other. Several weeks ago we spent an entire afternoon planting lots of clumping bamboo in the midst of the baby pine trees here. We are dreaming of a somewhat controllable, evergreen, living screen.

The big barn welcomes you next with an onslaught of colorful artwork, part of Handsome’s old hubcap collection, and salvaged signs. In its shadow is our pumpkin and watermelon patch, all grown from seed, and thriving so far in early June.

Around the house is a moderately filled flower bed then my truly beloved herb garden. It expanded this year, and I love it. My heart is especially happy about the bronze leaf fennel, lemon balm, mammoth dill, and cinnamon basil. A respectable stand of jalapeno plants hiding in the herb garden is just now putting on white blossoms, so that has my attention too.

If you were a regular at the farm before covid-19, this is where you will probably notice some of our quarantine work: Handsome designed and built a gorgeous new raised wooden walkway from the kitchen patio to the pool deck. We painted it black then surrounded it with river rocks, which is something we have wanted to do for years. The effect, in my opinion, is gorgeous. It is welcoming, substantial, and relaxing. I walk here dozens of times every day and have yet to tire of the views. You step onto the boardwalk and are firmly pulled toward the gardens and people areas there beneath the oak trees. He did such a good job on this project. I cannot overstate how much I love it!

The shade garden is more spacious and cleared out this year, at least for now, and this makes it easier to see the little smokehouse, which has a decidedly more cottage feel than before. After some serious decluttering inside (mostly 13 years’ worth of thrifted garden supply storage), we tore off the Virginia Creeper vines and canvas sheets then added secondhand windows or framed Plexiglas to all four sides of the building. We beefed up the lumber trim around the windows and painted all of the woodwork a bright white. We have more work to do here, but just having it excavated and clean, and just beginning the facelift on the outside, is really exciting. It certainly fuels our imagination for how to use this sweet little cottage going forward.

cottage facelift in process

You should see this shady area at the golden hour. Sunlight swords it way uphill from the west and through the tree limbs, and the pond is illuminated and visible now through the cottage windows. The scene is even prettier if we have been burning a fire, as smoke clings to the light and lays itself out in great, flat sheets of suede across the quiet space.

Speaking of bonfires, next time you are here, you might see that the fire pit is now encircled with a mix of concrete, square pavers, and river rock. It extends the invitation to be barefoot and cuts down on weeds and mud. We love it.

All these weeks of quarantine have been satisfying, for the work we have done. And it has been humbling. It has all been a labor of very real love. Love for each other, love for our friends and family who gather here. Love for our home and the many gifts we enjoy.

For the 60-plus completed projects during this season, my husband truly deserves most of the credit. He worked with passion and inspiration, and he was tireless, week after week, bulldozing his way through one task after another, all the while officing from the car shop to uphold his Commish duties and then some.

Visitors will look around and see some of the improvements I described above. And we hope you love them! I look around and also see the less noticeable projects, the ones that show the love my husband has poured out onto nearly every square foot of these nine acres. I see fence lines and gates he has recently tightened, reconfigured, and made more usable, more beautiful. I see two giant new compost bin sets, six additional boxes in total, which make my manure obsession hobby so much easier. I see better decking, more comfortable seating, a fun tetherball (!!!), and a crustal blue swimming pool which does not happen automatically. Our cars are in tip-top shape, and he and his Dad are making measurable progress on the Batmobile. I see our hot tub: One day he emptied, relocated, cleaned, and refilled it. Then he rebuilt the privacy wall around it and fixed the cover. I see our fat, happy horses and productive chickens, our deeply mulched gardens (20 bags of mulch was my Mother’s Day surprise), and feral cats who have become the sweetest things you will ever cuddle. I see our spoiled rotten guard dog who really likes helping his Dad during business hours. None of this would happen without his ongoing attention and generosity.

All these weeks have been such a gift, for more than the obvious reasons. After some gritty and fruitful wrestling matches with my own ego, I am stunned and wildly satisfied by all of it. Really thankful. Hopefully my workhorse of a husband is, too.

We cannot wait for things to feel safe and normal again, so we can open the farm more freely. We have done much of this for you, too, friends.

“Fixed the Newel Post!”
-Clark Griswold
XOXOXOXO

an easter week we will never forget

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, easily my favorite holiday of the year.

Easter represents world-changing miracles and promises kept despite every opposition. Easter means new life. The best life, in fact, springing from absolute grief and apparent defeat. Easter is the resurrection of every good and pure thing, a celebration of the immovable power of Love.

Traditionally, Easter is fresh flowers and home cooked food, baskets filled with chocolate bunnies and colorful gifts, egg hunts and gingham and lace.

(a lifetime ago)
(one of our passover traditions)

Holy Week is also somber remembrances and Bible readings, “blood” around our front door, and white cloth on the cross. This holiday week has always been  busy with church activities and family gatherings, and the details sustain me. They all bind me together in deep places, providing that rhythm of renewal that we need over and over again. (There is no shame in needing renewal, by the way. We are designed for it.)

In many ways, I love Easter more than Thanksgiving and Christmas and the New Year, combined. Now is when everything actually feels new.

Easter is different this year, in quarantine, but it’s different in some magical ways. I feel it and smell it and hear it coming like birdsong at daybreak. We are renewing ourselves more than ever, despite the changes and limitations. Maybe because of them?

I hope you sense it too. I hope you are able to rest and breathe deeply, still capturing the essence of this special season. I hope you take all the time you need to distill and celebrate the best gifts, because they are still being offered.

(apple blossom)

I am not too upset by missing out on some of the man made trappings of Easter weekend. Traditions are, after all, just outward expressions of what matters to us, physical things we do to rekindle emotions we hold dear. We are all more than capable of accepting new circumstances and applying our imaginations and resources in new ways, to still conjure up those feelings. Maybe even amplify them. Maybe build some magic in brand new ways.

(our dessert tomorrow, for just the two of us)

How are you holding up? Or are you, actually, thriving in this weird time? On a cellular level, safe and hidden from the news cycle and statistics and angst about what is temporarily lost, are you at peace? Are you encouraged and nourished by what is being offered to us, and happy about what is right around the corner? I am. I feel it, like a heartbeat. I am breathing it in, like ozone and honeysuckle and fermenting sourdough. I see the green shoots of New Life bursting through clay and unfurling, silently. Surely. Right on time.

“Heaven took a deep breath and held it,
because everything was about to change.”
~Bob Goff
XOXOXO

marathon monday: plot twist!

Okay, friends, happy Monday! Is it still Marathon Monday for many of you? For me, not so much, at least not in the literal sense. As part of the far reaching, ongoing global plot twist served up by the Corona Virus, our Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon has been postponed until October 4th.

It’s only postponed, not cancelled, but things are not necessarily that simple. The 12-18 week training cycle layered against the realities of summer travel (which I realize may or may not be possible either), hot and steamy weather, competing events on October 4th, and just the sense of abandoning all the progress I have made these past few months… it all had me spinning for a while. Some of my running friends have decided to forge on with current training then run “virtual” races on their original spring race dates, albeit most likely alone. Some people have gone immediately to maintenance running or less. I am probably going to fall somewhere in the middle.

 After wrestling with my options and kind of letting the dust settle, as my friend Jeff described it, I have decided to pause heavy training for now, despite how well it was going, but keep up the spirit of the plan in my own ways for a few months. Then by mid-summer I will reevaluate the October race.  

running, pile on the miles, lazy w, marathon training, run eat repeat

Last week would have been Week 13 of the plan, meant for really gaining momentum toward peak volume and the hardest workouts, but instead I was as glued to the news as anyone, devouring sugary trail mix, and consumed by a new sense of urgency about growing our own food (more on that later this week). I barely scraped together 35 miles and made a couple of pathetic efforts to get reacquainted with my baby hexagon weights, ha. My arm and back muscles were so sore afterwards that I thought for SURE I had the coronas.

Aches! Stiffness! General lethargy! Are these symptoms of the virus? Just kidding.

To say that I was distracted and unfocused last week is an understatement; but knowing this was a community-felt undercurrent helps me kind of package it up and set it squarely in the past.

I have sulked and scrolled Twitter and eaten extra carbs pointlessly for enough days.

Onward!

Here is what I know, regardless of whether or when I might race next:

  • Running is fun! It feels awesome. I hope to run for most of the rest of my life, and racing (for me) has very little to do with that.
  • So far in Oklahoma we are still free to run outdoors as long as we remain at a safe distance from other people, and on days when that does not feel like the right choice, I still have my 0.33 mile loop on the sandy hills of our back field plus my reliable treadmill. For these I am truly thankful.
  • Handsome and I suddenly have very little on our calendar outside of farm and garden projects, so running is less intrusive to our life than it sometimes is.  
  • Running is an excellent stress relief, it helps me feel energized and happy, and having a little weekly structure will help me keep a positive outlook.

So I will continue running a similar and fluctuating volume, 40-65 miles per week, but with the luxury of flexibility to make adjustments for real life priorities as needed. This is where my body feels best, where I can keep my energy up for a busy summer garden season and my jeans size down at a reasonable volume, and where I believe that I could easily join in on a spontaneous half marathon with no trouble.

I will also strive to vary my pace and distance daily, eschewing that dreaded “grey zone,” but not running hard SOS workouts as often. Maybe tend to some of the lower leg and feet pains I have been feeling lately. There is wisdom in getting leaner and fitter overall but saving some enthusiasm and focus for the upcoming summer cycle, if I dive into that. (The BIB is already paid for, and the race is local, so the thought of dismissing it wholesale makes me nauseous.)

Something I have been actively reminding myself to celebrate is how much progress I made from mid-January to early March, and that all stays in my body if I maintain it. That all stays in my mind, too, if I capture it.

The internalization of how each pace feels, the luscious union of breath and cadence, the swell of energy when you hit the fourth or fifth or eighth tempo mile. (It feels like riding the wave pool at White Water when we were kids.)

 I get to retain the times I won arguments with myself over whether or not to attempt something difficult, and the sourness of disappointment when I cut an interval a few seconds short. Both are instructive.

 I can hang onto the slow build of confidence from completing longer and harder workouts. The pleasure of fasted runs that cleansed me. Fueled runs when I overcame fear of food in my belly, ha! All of it. And if I understand the method as well as I think I do, the physiological adaptations are progressive. I have not lost much in just a week of mediocre activity, so I can keep my body healthy and maintain some stuff for a while then see what additional magic is available later.

Plus, before long, watermelons will be abundant, and that makes everything better.

Honest confession, I cried a little bit when the decision was finally made to postpone the race. But in the scheme of things, this is so small. We all have much bigger problems. I have millions of very real blessings to count, among them the pleasures and lasting effects of the past ten weeks. It is the training, after all, that changes us, not the race.

Take care, friends, and happy running!
XOXOXOXO

less and more in these exciting times

March 20, 2020: Worldwide and local realities of the Corona virus pandemic, some thoughts on how we can thrive more fully, in a less-and-more format:

Less scrolling our internet news feeds, more phone calls with loved ones. More paying attention to good sources of information.

Less thinking of people on the news as strangers, more realizing they are all our sisters and brothers.

Less thinking that all of this is someone else’s problem, more believing that as a group we can thrive. More placing value on what every single person contributes to society. Less demonizing any segment of the workforce, including white collars and government officials, ok? More appreciating all the layers of cooperation we need and enjoy.

Less complaining about government leadership, more supporting the things going well, more affirming the hard work being done, more praying for the human beings in charge, who have never navigated this before.

Less feeling lost in our homes not knowing what to do with this time and these new tasks (laptop work from home, schooling restless kids, etc)  and less wandering around, more sinking in and nesting together. More making silly memories, more making all kinds of memories that will last a lifetime. This will hopefully be a once in a lifetime event, and none of us will forget how we dealt with Corona virus 2020. Make your future self proud, haha!

Less outsourcing your daily decisions, more tapping into your personal wisdom.

Less newsy, opinionated podcasts in the background, more music.

Less stress snacking, more sunshine walks and stretching.

Less busywork, more meaningful progress on big projects. Also more disinfecting, ha!

Less worrying and talking about each other’s complaints and woes, more praying about actual challenges. More praying for specific people. More praying for specific situations and needs.

Less food waste and hedonism, more appreciation for good nourishment and more sharing with others.

arugula

Less slouching, more dancing and yoga!

Less dwelling on plans thwarted, on goals delayed, on what fun we could be having out and about, more living in the moment and more trusting that this weird time is a gift to be enjoyed, maximized, savored. There are untold hidden treasures in this mess.

Less “What if… (bad stuff)” and much more “What if… (good stuff)!”

Less droopy outlook, more JOYFULNESS and inner aliveness!

Less focus on the negatives of social distancing and more focus on human connections.

Less takeout, more homemade comfort food and maybe more growing our own food.

sourdough for the win

Less driving, more staying put.

Less marathon training, more being healthy and having fun with health and fitness and not being sad about the marathon and also looking forward to starting fresh soon. On that note? Less group runs, more treadmill miles and more weights. It’s fine. It’s fine! Also, runners, listen to the podcast below if you need a morale booster about your race being cancelled. Good wisdom here.

Less planning out the details of every week coming soon, more living within the bounds of this exact day, because we really have no idea what is coming next.

Less control, more implicit trust, more surrender.

Less complaining, more actively giving thanks. Thanks to God, to our spouses and children and parents, to our neighbors and friends and workers and leaders. Thanks to everyone for everything we can manage to notice, because it matters.

Less stress, more peace. Good, deep peace, the kind that helps you breathe well. Invite that feeling, embrace it. Protect it. Allow others to have their own.

Less excessive junk food, more small hobbies that keep our hands occupied while watching movies because let’s be honest we are gonna be doing that.

Less fear, more confidence.

Less seriousness, more playfulness.

Less number crunching, more hand washing.

Less disregard for each other, more flattening the curve.

Less seeing how much we can get away with, more being proactive about our social responsibilities.

Less scarcity, more abundance. Abundance in all things. An attitude of abundance, in our thoughts and supplies and capabilities. More attitude of abundance in our relationships and our world.

Less fear, more Love. That’s really it.

What would you add to this list, friends? And how are you and your people doing? What a weird time. What a bizarre and beautiful gift this is, really. I hope you are finding the diamonds and gooey centers in your days. Stay in touch, take care!!

XOXOXOXO
~Marie

reeling from the KFOR “remarkable woman” fun

Several years ago, Handsome and I attended an awards dinner where my sweet Dad was being honored by his Knights of Columbus peers. After an effusive and much deserved welcome speech, the emcee invited Dad to the front and handed him the mic. Dad smirked while everyone applauded, then he said in his perfectly deadpan voice, “I had a speech written but seem to have left it at home.” Then, pretending to pat down his own pockets and turn to look behind himself, he shrugged one shoulder and actually left the stage. Dad rejoined the family with exactly the same smile he wears when launching a spectacular knee-grabber. The crowd exploded into laughter and applauded again, because of course this is exactly how Joe Dunaway would accept an award. I decided then and there, that if I ever won anything I would do something equally clever and evident of such charming humility. Such unbelievable arrogance to not have a speech! It turns out that Dad is a tough act to follow in every way, including this.

You guys, I have not even won anything, but I have so much to say! You all have poured out such love that I am soggy from it. Warm and pliable and smiling, pulsing from every syllable you have arrowed my way. My heart is full, is what I am trying to say. The magic here is that literally every single person who has expressed love and friendship to me holds a vital space in my heart. One evening as my husband read to me some names and notes that I had not heard from personally, I could not stop crying. How wonderful and bizarre to feel so connected. Please know that I have always felt this way toward you. My life is brimming with fascinating people. Inspiring, hard working, generous, amazing people. You all set templates for me constantly.

Dad calls this situation a “Mutual Admiration Society.”

Thank you to all of our friends and family who conspired with Handsome to include me in this fun nomination. I thank you truly both for the words you shared weeks ago (covertly, ha!), and I thank you truly for the tidal wave of love notes you have been pressing here since. Your affection and support have landed squarely in my heart, and I am letting it all sink in deeply. It will not go to waste.

Forgive me, though, if every time
someone quips, “you’re famous!”
I instantly think “don’t you mean INFAMOUS”
and do the Three Amigos dance in my mind. Okay.

we are INFAMOUS

Thank you, Ali Meyer, for your listening heart. Thank you for your talented storytelling and your discretion. I aspire to your skillful, poetic brevity. You and Travis helped us feel seen in the best ways, and we hope you and your families feel welcome at the farm always.

Thank you to my sister Angela for sharing her time to do an interview and for her immense love. I know how lucky I am to have her as a friend.

Thank you to Handsome for being the world’s most supportive and most protective husband, period. He just will not allow anything but love and freedom and safety here, and for that I am eternally grateful. And thank you to his colleagues, our friends, who were in on this.

Now that the story has aired, we feel compelled and excited to share more of our Lazy W Family Outreach stories. So far we have just flown under the radar with hints and glimpses. It’s all a relatively fresh undertaking and one which we are determined to keep fluid and responsive month to month, season to season. But right now feels like a good and strong time to open up. I hope you’ll follow along with that! Feel free to join conversations both here and on our Facebook pages (here is the blog page). We will be posting fresh new community events soon.

One more thing, friends, before we all get sleepy. I am thrilled to be meeting so many new Oklahoma readers! I think you are all from Oklahoma? Thank you for introducing yourselves and for leaving me notes here and in messages. I am having fun contacting everyone slowly. Thank you for understanding that I do this between chores and running and cooking, ha!

Speaking of chores (last thing, promise), I do not want to alarm you, but we collected thirty eight eggs over the past twenty four hours. Thirty-eight!! Also? The frogs have come out of  hibernation and the roses are all breaking dormancy. The countdown to true spring is gaining momentum.

Happy waxing moon indeed.

“UBUNTU: I am because we are.”
African philosophy
XOXOXOXO