Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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read, watch, listen & a few snapshots of life lately

READ

I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, the Golden State Killer book by Michelle McNamara. Sorry-not-sorry. Give me all the serial killer stories. I fell away from reading as much while we watched so many Halloween movies last month, but I’ve picked it back up again. 

The recent blog post by Not Without Salt called “Getting Together.” She writes on the essentials of gathering around the table and confesses a youthful obsession with Martha Stewart, which I share, as all good girls form the 80’s do. Then she describes in relatable ways and with gorgeous photos how her get-togethers actually look these days. I adore (I MEAN ADORE) her idea of hosting a clean-out-the-fridge dinner party. Man. Yes, please. Let’s do it. Local friends, expect that phone call.

Umm, you guys I was included in an article for Women’s Running magazine! “Running at Every Age: Run for Life!” is in the October print issue and also online now. This is what happens sometimes to people who answer Twitter polls with too much enthusiasm. Please note: The author kind of says that I trained for a triathlon. I did not. That was a misunderstanding and I feel weird about it. But the rest of it is so good!

Half Baked Harvest just posted her luscious 2018 Thanksgiving menu, and it has my holiday vibes in overdrive. I want some of that cranberry-brie pull-apart bread as soon as possible. 

lazyw Thanksgiving groceries
Pretty stoked to write my November grocery lists!

The Norwegian mindset is always fascinating to me, and this list of ways to thrive in the deepest of winters is a good read. I mean, most years Oklahoma is a thousand times milder than Norway, but by our own standards we are looking at a very cold and snowy few months ahead, so I will keep these reminders handy.

I have been paying special attention to The Apartment recently, both for better productivity and for the upcoming house guest season, wahoo! So this list of 22 guest room tips by Nesting With Grace is much appreciated. 

I’m adding chalkboards everywhere, lots more various artwork on the walls, & storage. Loving this project!

Our friend Kellie, truly one of the most gentle-strong people I have ever known, sent this devotional by Proverbs 31 Ministries, called “Process Before the Promise.”  

Hoping doesn’t mean we ignore reality. No, hoping means we acknowledge reality in the very same breath that we acknowledge God’s sovereignty. Our hope can’t be tied to whether or not a circumstance or another person changes. Our hope must be tied to the unchanging promises of God. ~Lysa TerKeurst

WATCH

Netflix is King, apparently. From the creepy and extraordinarily well-written series Haunting of Hill House to the four-part series Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat I kinda love television again. Have you caught episodes of either of these fantastic series?

Yoga With Adrienne you guys. Check out her recent episode called, “Creating Space.” The boys and I did this one last Monday evening before dinner, and it was everything my body and spirit needed.

LISTEN

Oprah’s podcast had fallen off of my radar for a while, but a nudge from a running friend got me listening again. This episode featuring author Michael Pollan is just so good. It’s soothing, not preachy. And I especially appreciate his gardening comments.

A garden should make you feel you’ve entered privileged space — a place not just set apart but reverberant — and it seems to me that, to achieve this, the gardener must put some kind of twist on the existing landscape, turn its prose into something nearer poetry.

A Few Snapshots of Life Lately:

a quick little hike up near Keystone Lake recently
my two boys xoxoxo

 

zinnias slowly fading and still my favorite
At MOM & Dad’s house, Jessica & Chloe assembling egg rolls for Chloe’s birthday dinner, Dante & Grandma in the background. Such a fun family night! xoxo
Kenzie & Jessica playing “Rock Paper Scissors” and Dante, chillin.
My big life goal is now to build a ship at the farm, like from Monkey Island at our OKC Zoo, circa 1980. A life sized one, ok, not a replica. Ok thanks.
Batman & his costume rival on Halloween night, haha!
My Christmas cactus is thinking about blooming, and it is so pretty! This reminds me it’s time to get some paper-whites started in pots.

OK friends, are you cheering for anyone at the NYC Marathon today? I am! Her name is Kim! And for the elites I am rooting for Allie. I have a measly 9 mile progression run and weights to do myself, then we are off for a lunchtime hike and picnic lunch with Mickey and Kellie. We are, the four of us, working on something really special that I will share eventually. It feels so good. 

I wish you the happiest of Sundays. Enjoy this weather, all the gifts at your feet, and think of the very best possibilities. Feed them, the things you pray for, with your fertile imagination. Cultivate joy. It matters.

“Follow your heart’s knowing
rather than you mind’s guessing.”
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

daybreak today and the happy residue of our friday night gathering

Around 7:15 this morning Klaus and I went outside to feed everyone breakfast and to bear witness to daybreak. The inky black sky and diamond moon an hour earlier had whispered promises of an exceptional display, and we were not disappointed.

The eastern sky cracked open and gushed Technicolor all over the farm. All over the prairie grasses and wildflowers, the pine trees and blackjacks and zinnias and eerily decaying summer vines. Something I’ll never capture in a snapshot. That molten energy rushed through the treetops, scattered leaves both downhill and up, and transformed the pond into a pink and orange looking glass. The already dazzling crazy quilt of autumn leaves was for several moments downright metallic. Glittered. And still, the sun was just rising, barely.

 

Almost forty five minutes later, as I sat outside scribbling this in my notebook, broad gashes of light were streaming across the treetops and aiming west, downhill, and straight through me. It was all bold and direct, no longer diffused.  

Everyone around here seems to agree that this year’s autumn transformation has been a special one. We should probably thank the lush, mild summer and gentle cool down for that. The forests and gardens have been changing daily, hourly sometimes, like a twisting handheld kaleidoscope where each leaf is a chunk of tinted glass reflecting against so many connecting mirrors.

I want my eyes and my heart to be mirrors for all of it. I want to always remember how beautiful Oklahoma was in October of 2018.

One day soon we will wake up for our usual routines and see that the trees are bare and the ground is frozen. On that day we’ll find the beauty of course, but it will be different. For now, for today, we will soak up the color and thrumming life and all of this glorious transformation energy. And we’ll count it all joy because it’s so easy. It’s so available to us.

Last night four friends joined us at the farm for a cozy dinner and to finally discuss The Book of Joy. It was a small, organic mix of deeply thinking, tender, feeling people who had either already enjoyed the book or who were interested in it based on piecemeal reviews I had been posting on Facebook for months.

The Book of Joy is just so nourishing, you guys. I highly recommend this slim, straightforward work to people of every religion, every background, every station in life. And I strongly suggest you buy a copy to keep forever; because it seems to be the kind of book that you might read (or at least skim and review) at different times in life and each time glean new wisdom.

Our intimate discussion last night was everything my soul needed. I felt absolute Love in the midst of us all, and my brain kept sparking and coming to life every time someone shared their insights. The fact that my husband was there for it all and a strong part of the dialogue is a brand new joy for me. 

I have tried to make people aware that the ultimate source of happiness is simply a healthy body and a warm heart. ~Dalai Lama

Soon, in addition to so much great material from the book, I want us to explore Ubuntu, the African expression for humanity. “We become persons through other people.” It’s the notion that connectedness is part of our human design, our nature. The idea that we function best when we find other people and live in actual community. Especially as the holiday season opens wide, I would love to really internalize this concept.

Togetherness, intimacy, connection, community.

Daybreak for our hearts and minds and bodies and spirits. Eye candy and nourishment, both. Improving our perspectives and staying aware and very very present. Yes to all of it.

I am beyond excited to continue this dialogue with my husband and our friends and their loved ones, and also with my sister Angela and maybe our adult children, as well as with our friend Kiran, who is Hindu. The diversity of our favorite humans is as mesmerizing as Oklahoma’s autumn display right now.

“The way you see the world,
the meaning you give to what you witness,
changes the way you feel.”
~Jinpa
XOXOXOXO

“be gentle”

This reminder came to me in earnest on Saturday, but it has been circling for weeks: “Be gentle.” 

I saw it at a nearby thrift store while we shopped for a table lamp. The message stopped me in my tracks, the words scrawled in loopy handwriting with a blue grease pencil on this beautiful little dressing mirror, a pink vintage treasure, chalky to the touch and no doubt filled with memories. 

“Be Gentle,” the message pleads with passersby to not crash past and damage this.

I had been hearing and feeling this all month in lots of different ways, but I just kept crashing through every day.

Do you remember in that Jim Carrey movie Bruce Almighty when the silent homeless man holds so many cardboard signs, yet he goes largely unnoticed until finally the messages are unmistakably aimed at the main character? Ok. You’re with me now for sure.

Be Gentle, lady. Ease up.

It’s all okay.

Soften a little, breathe more deeply.

Touch everything more lightly.

Speak and think more slowly.

Gentle yourself,

like it’s a verb as much as an adjective.

Move into more delicacy.

I have a tendency to crash through my days with a weird sort of desperation, trying not to miss a thing, trying not to waste a drop of time or energy. Everything is so beautiful and I really do love my life so much, even the difficult parts. I’m learning to appreciate that particular sort of growth.

It’s all a positive panic, but still a panic. And too often that results in spreading my attention (my awareness) so thinly that I only manage to glance at my surroundings and opportunities. I miss out on the deep, nourishing soak that I crave. And that means that my people and animals and home and community miss out on my undivided attention. 

I move (and speak and think) so quickly that I become rough and handle breakable things carelessly. Things like dishes and garden tools and books and even relationships. 

When my grandpa was alive he would have said, “Settle, settle.” He would have hushed me lovingly, his tan and wrinkled hand parallel to the ground, pulsing steadily. He would have done so with a smile and maybe some soft laughter. 

Some gentleness is in order. Some stillness and attention. 

I definitely trust God enough to pause and take a deep breath. Choose to see and affirm that He is in control and that I can afford to slow down.

My zinnias and other summer flowers are fading slowly, very slowly, so I watch them obsessively. Every tiny change is fascinating. Beautiful.

 

Okay, this is precisely the motivation I needed today, friends. Kind of the opposite of how I usually revv my engines on Monday morning, ha! I hope it finds you in a state of bliss or inspiration or at least poised for exactly what your soul needs most.

Just a few days left of this fine transition month. I am so excited to see what November brings. But I will reign myself a little bit, gently, so it all comes more slowly. One glittering moment at a time. 

Slow Down, You Move Too Fast.
You Got to Make the Morning Last
~Simon & Garfunkel
XOXOXOXO

motivation monday (err tuesday ok): GOALS and VALUES

Intimidation or Inspiration?

All summer and especially last week, lots of my local friends and online acquaintances have been running stand-out races. Big marathons, big goals, fast times, strong bodies. Just amazing, motivating stuff. And after simmering in envy for too many weeks, this most recent rash of other people’s accomplishments has left me feeling great.

I finally feel relaxed about my personal timelines and not at all panicked. Studying, for example, how many years some people have spent working hard at their goals is a huge encouragement for me. I have time. And, I don’t mind admitting this, seeing the price some people pay in pursuit of those goals has been eye-opening. It helps bring my own values into focus.

As with anything in life, it helps to know that each of us has our own set of unique goals, and we should tailor them to our unique talents, lifestyles, and resources. It all just reinforces to me that I need to get honest with myself and focus on some goals that would bring me authentic joy while aligning with my core values and resources, which might differ from the people I have been emulating. I need to focus a little more on what I am doing with my own running and overall fitness, with less comparison to the rest of the world.

 

So I spent some time marinating these things and came up with a short list of goals and values that are genuine for me, in no particular order:

GOALS that are both measurable and long-term

  • Run a sub-4 marathon. I have no clue how close I am right now. And I am a little scared to find out. My focused training weeks this year went well, but I have not progressed much overall, just making small adaptations month to month. My mileage base is strong, so there’s that.
  • Also, qualify for Boston (for my age group that would be about 12 minutes faster than my sub-4 goal).
  • Run a half marathon really close to my brother’s time. (Dream big ok!!)
  • Finish this calendar year by running 2,018 miles EARLY. Take some downtime around Christmas. Only 424 miles to go!
  • Win the Olympics. Ha. And while I am at it, write a best selling novel so my husband can quit his job and we can spend the icy months at the beach. Ok.

VALUES, methods I want to observe along the journey:

  • Continue carving out time for lifting (baby) weights in order to feel really good, improve bodily function and strength and stay injury free. Even when it means sacrificing miles.
  • Evolve my diet safely and sustainably so I can live in a more fat adapted state (Primal? Maybe?) and curtail diabetic symptoms. 
  • Eat well (I feel my best when I eat great food and enough of it) but live life fully with my people, never dieting, not “fueling” constantly or pretending to be in a running vacuum. Perfectionism is a pitfall. And I am so tired of trying to lose weight. I just want to feel good every day and trust that healthy habits work in my favor, long-term. I love pizza and cookies once in a while. That has to fit in.
  • Overall health and balance, pursuing a good, ongoing sense of well being without overuse injuries or emotional burnout. 
  • Keep my running in harmony with the rest of our busy life, not living constantly in a strictly scheduled “training” mode, which leads to burnout and imbalance with friends and family. This means maybe one run per weekend right now, knowing that could change once marathon training starts.
  • Schedule more excursion runs with friends and family. “Iron sharpens iron” and also, it always turns out to be so fun. (I generally resist because I feel slower than everyone, I always have to pee more often haha, and I definitely treasure the alone time. But social runs are good for us too.)
  • Races are exciting and I am enticed by the competition, but they are less important to me over time, in the scope of things, so long as running and other healthy activities can remain a part of my life. I recognize that I need to spend less time and energy agonizing over how many races and fun events I am missing. 
  • Maintain the JOY of running!! I think anything we do for too long at an almost obsessive level can become work, and I want running to be a joyful part of my life for the rest of my life, if possible. So I am happy to allow some breathing room.

To remember my friend Robin’s advice, it’s great to look to others for inspiration, but once that begins to feel like intimidation, it’s time to look away.

Look at a baby kangaroo instead. 

Wish me luck and maybe some wisdom as I sort out exactly how all of this translates to weekly and monthly plans. I definitely do better with at least a skeleton plan and short-term goal or two.

Speedbump:

Something funny is that this morning after I drafted this blog post, I headed to the lake for a speed workout. As I was parking my car, my phone started flashing and buzzing tornado warnings, and the sky turned black. Instantly. I drove the nine miles home through blinding rain and straight-line winds, got the animals safe and happy, and watched the weather on television for two hours instead of working out. I was mad for a while but was able to pull out if it, reminding myself that this is life. Life (and certainly weather) does not revolve around my plans for the day. Also? It’s fine. It really is fine.

Someone in one of my running groups recently posted that an altered workout is actually good for us, because not only does it build mental tenacity; it also keeps our bodies guessing a little bit and makes us stronger in new ways.

Ok. Over and out. Thanks for coming to my TED talk about running goals and values and how I worry about missing out on stuff. 

It’s Fine!!
XOXOXO

 

 

reading & watching lately

Hey friends, happy Saturday! I hope if this is your weekend that you enjoy a long, deep drink from exactly the well of refreshment you need most. No doubt you have earned it.

For me, refreshment will mean cuddles and extended leg braids with my husband, and hopefully big bowls of plain popcorn and a great movie. It means one more easy run, maybe with friends, and as much yoga and foam rolling as I can slow down for. (It’s been a great mileage week and I need the stretch.)

Refreshment could mean a few fun outings around town, some gardening, one exceptional birthday party for our friend Jason, and also making substantial progress on the Lazy W Outreach Batmobile. I am so pumped about my husband’s newest project and cannot wait to tell you everything!

In case your idea of refreshment is reading and watching soul-nourishing stuff, here is a list of treasures I have found lately.

Kindness Diaries This is a Netflix series that chronicles a globe-trotting social experiment about generosity between strangers.  I found it by accident a few months ago. Now Handsome and I watch it together. The episodes are short (really short) and sweet (really sweet) so you can easily fit them into your busy life anytime your spirit needs a boost. The globe-trotting set up also means you get to learn about all kinds of places and cultures in a slightly different way, something more casual and less anthropological. Please sample this beautiful show for yourself, cuddled up with your people if possible. While not always easy to watch, the program is family friendly. And I love the overarching message that while the world from a great distance can be harsh and terrible, up close there is more than enough light to dispel the darkness. I cannot even say how much I love that.

“I realized on my journeys that all though we may be different religions, although we may be different colors, although we may live in different countries, we are all the same,” ~Leon Logothetis

Book of Joy: Can’t stop, won’t stop. I am on my third pass now, making note of my own notes from the first pass and organizing my thoughts and emotional responses along the way. Every day I find new layers and brighter echoes. This slim volume speaks to so many lessons I have been learning over the past eight years or so. And although the three authors are from different “religions” than any to which I have ever ascribed, all of it complements my deepest spiritual faith so cozily, I honestly feel like I was always meant to read it. Have you ever felt that way about a book?

Related, here is some exciting news: My friend Kellie recently listened to The Book of Joy on audio, liked it so well she is now reading the print version and agreed to discuss with me soon. Kellie S. is great at deep conversations. I am very excited. I happened to hear that our other friend Kelley F. had read it years ago and wants to discuss (yay! She is SO smart and I can’t wait to get better acquainted with her!), and still another friend Meredith (yes we all know each other already!) started reading it this week. I’m not even done. Brittany from Colorado (and Sante Fe and Paris and my dreams) checked it out at the library, as did my new internet-local running friend Jessica who is fast like lightning and bakes sourdough more than I do, and I know they will both love it. As of early this morning, our very own Handsome has also downloaded and started reading the book! He said he wants to finally see what it is I can’t stop talking about.

We have ourselves a small, intimate study group focused on a supremely worthwhile book.

Deep breath from all of that excitement!

Speaking of deep breathing… This article on the mindbodygreen website was super thought-provoking. It gave me a fresh look at the wellness of our little household, especially as the days cool down and shorten. Two things to which I have been trying to pay attention are micronutrition and rest. When I need energy, instead of thinking first about food or caffeine, I stop to breathe deeply and stretch. Maybe drink water or have a small piece of fruit, then wait to see how I feel in a bit. I think this practice has helped my digestion too, if you have read much about Ayurvedic medicine. It certainly helps me with mindfulness. If you read the article, I would love to hear your thoughts. 

An Autumn Mindset: The Inspired Room is such a gracious source for ideas and motivation on how to keep house and decorate, but in a lusciously gentle, meaningful way. I love love love her annual autumn nesting series, and this year it all begins with this mindset post. So perfect. My gosh. And doesn’t this quote apply to every season, every effort we make at home?

Cultivating an autumn mindset begins with quieting the noise of what everyone else is doing so we can actually focus on the simple joy of creating our own cozy sanctuary.

 

September light xoxo

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?  Last but not least, the Fred Rogers documentary. We curled up with some comfort food one evening and watched this, and it was just perfect. Better than I expected, more interesting and more emotional. I am so grateful to have been raised on television like this and Sesame Street. And as we watched, I learned more about my husband’s childhood, too. 

What have you been watching and reading lately?

Full disclosure: As I edit and try to post this for you, Shameless series 7 is playing in the background. The show is fascinating and prompts lots of great conversation, but it does require a palette cleanse here and there, haha. Hence, the list above.

Enjoy!

“There is no normal life that is free of pain.
It’s the very wrestling with our problems
that can be the impetus for our growth.”
~Fred Rogers 
XOXOXO