Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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daybreak today and the happy residue of our friday night gathering

Around 7:15 this morning Klaus and I went outside to feed everyone breakfast and to bear witness to daybreak. The inky black sky and diamond moon an hour earlier had whispered promises of an exceptional display, and we were not disappointed.

The eastern sky cracked open and gushed Technicolor all over the farm. All over the prairie grasses and wildflowers, the pine trees and blackjacks and zinnias and eerily decaying summer vines. Something I’ll never capture in a snapshot. That molten energy rushed through the treetops, scattered leaves both downhill and up, and transformed the pond into a pink and orange looking glass. The already dazzling crazy quilt of autumn leaves was for several moments downright metallic. Glittered. And still, the sun was just rising, barely.

 

Almost forty five minutes later, as I sat outside scribbling this in my notebook, broad gashes of light were streaming across the treetops and aiming west, downhill, and straight through me. It was all bold and direct, no longer diffused.  

Everyone around here seems to agree that this year’s autumn transformation has been a special one. We should probably thank the lush, mild summer and gentle cool down for that. The forests and gardens have been changing daily, hourly sometimes, like a twisting handheld kaleidoscope where each leaf is a chunk of tinted glass reflecting against so many connecting mirrors.

I want my eyes and my heart to be mirrors for all of it. I want to always remember how beautiful Oklahoma was in October of 2018.

One day soon we will wake up for our usual routines and see that the trees are bare and the ground is frozen. On that day we’ll find the beauty of course, but it will be different. For now, for today, we will soak up the color and thrumming life and all of this glorious transformation energy. And we’ll count it all joy because it’s so easy. It’s so available to us.

Last night four friends joined us at the farm for a cozy dinner and to finally discuss The Book of Joy. It was a small, organic mix of deeply thinking, tender, feeling people who had either already enjoyed the book or who were interested in it based on piecemeal reviews I had been posting on Facebook for months.

The Book of Joy is just so nourishing, you guys. I highly recommend this slim, straightforward work to people of every religion, every background, every station in life. And I strongly suggest you buy a copy to keep forever; because it seems to be the kind of book that you might read (or at least skim and review) at different times in life and each time glean new wisdom.

Our intimate discussion last night was everything my soul needed. I felt absolute Love in the midst of us all, and my brain kept sparking and coming to life every time someone shared their insights. The fact that my husband was there for it all and a strong part of the dialogue is a brand new joy for me. 

I have tried to make people aware that the ultimate source of happiness is simply a healthy body and a warm heart. ~Dalai Lama

Soon, in addition to so much great material from the book, I want us to explore Ubuntu, the African expression for humanity. “We become persons through other people.” It’s the notion that connectedness is part of our human design, our nature. The idea that we function best when we find other people and live in actual community. Especially as the holiday season opens wide, I would love to really internalize this concept.

Togetherness, intimacy, connection, community.

Daybreak for our hearts and minds and bodies and spirits. Eye candy and nourishment, both. Improving our perspectives and staying aware and very very present. Yes to all of it.

I am beyond excited to continue this dialogue with my husband and our friends and their loved ones, and also with my sister Angela and maybe our adult children, as well as with our friend Kiran, who is Hindu. The diversity of our favorite humans is as mesmerizing as Oklahoma’s autumn display right now.

“The way you see the world,
the meaning you give to what you witness,
changes the way you feel.”
~Jinpa
XOXOXOXO

reading & watching lately

Hey friends, happy Saturday! I hope if this is your weekend that you enjoy a long, deep drink from exactly the well of refreshment you need most. No doubt you have earned it.

For me, refreshment will mean cuddles and extended leg braids with my husband, and hopefully big bowls of plain popcorn and a great movie. It means one more easy run, maybe with friends, and as much yoga and foam rolling as I can slow down for. (It’s been a great mileage week and I need the stretch.)

Refreshment could mean a few fun outings around town, some gardening, one exceptional birthday party for our friend Jason, and also making substantial progress on the Lazy W Outreach Batmobile. I am so pumped about my husband’s newest project and cannot wait to tell you everything!

In case your idea of refreshment is reading and watching soul-nourishing stuff, here is a list of treasures I have found lately.

Kindness Diaries This is a Netflix series that chronicles a globe-trotting social experiment about generosity between strangers.  I found it by accident a few months ago. Now Handsome and I watch it together. The episodes are short (really short) and sweet (really sweet) so you can easily fit them into your busy life anytime your spirit needs a boost. The globe-trotting set up also means you get to learn about all kinds of places and cultures in a slightly different way, something more casual and less anthropological. Please sample this beautiful show for yourself, cuddled up with your people if possible. While not always easy to watch, the program is family friendly. And I love the overarching message that while the world from a great distance can be harsh and terrible, up close there is more than enough light to dispel the darkness. I cannot even say how much I love that.

“I realized on my journeys that all though we may be different religions, although we may be different colors, although we may live in different countries, we are all the same,” ~Leon Logothetis

Book of Joy: Can’t stop, won’t stop. I am on my third pass now, making note of my own notes from the first pass and organizing my thoughts and emotional responses along the way. Every day I find new layers and brighter echoes. This slim volume speaks to so many lessons I have been learning over the past eight years or so. And although the three authors are from different “religions” than any to which I have ever ascribed, all of it complements my deepest spiritual faith so cozily, I honestly feel like I was always meant to read it. Have you ever felt that way about a book?

Related, here is some exciting news: My friend Kellie recently listened to The Book of Joy on audio, liked it so well she is now reading the print version and agreed to discuss with me soon. Kellie S. is great at deep conversations. I am very excited. I happened to hear that our other friend Kelley F. had read it years ago and wants to discuss (yay! She is SO smart and I can’t wait to get better acquainted with her!), and still another friend Meredith (yes we all know each other already!) started reading it this week. I’m not even done. Brittany from Colorado (and Sante Fe and Paris and my dreams) checked it out at the library, as did my new internet-local running friend Jessica who is fast like lightning and bakes sourdough more than I do, and I know they will both love it. As of early this morning, our very own Handsome has also downloaded and started reading the book! He said he wants to finally see what it is I can’t stop talking about.

We have ourselves a small, intimate study group focused on a supremely worthwhile book.

Deep breath from all of that excitement!

Speaking of deep breathing… This article on the mindbodygreen website was super thought-provoking. It gave me a fresh look at the wellness of our little household, especially as the days cool down and shorten. Two things to which I have been trying to pay attention are micronutrition and rest. When I need energy, instead of thinking first about food or caffeine, I stop to breathe deeply and stretch. Maybe drink water or have a small piece of fruit, then wait to see how I feel in a bit. I think this practice has helped my digestion too, if you have read much about Ayurvedic medicine. It certainly helps me with mindfulness. If you read the article, I would love to hear your thoughts. 

An Autumn Mindset: The Inspired Room is such a gracious source for ideas and motivation on how to keep house and decorate, but in a lusciously gentle, meaningful way. I love love love her annual autumn nesting series, and this year it all begins with this mindset post. So perfect. My gosh. And doesn’t this quote apply to every season, every effort we make at home?

Cultivating an autumn mindset begins with quieting the noise of what everyone else is doing so we can actually focus on the simple joy of creating our own cozy sanctuary.

 

September light xoxo

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?  Last but not least, the Fred Rogers documentary. We curled up with some comfort food one evening and watched this, and it was just perfect. Better than I expected, more interesting and more emotional. I am so grateful to have been raised on television like this and Sesame Street. And as we watched, I learned more about my husband’s childhood, too. 

What have you been watching and reading lately?

Full disclosure: As I edit and try to post this for you, Shameless series 7 is playing in the background. The show is fascinating and prompts lots of great conversation, but it does require a palette cleanse here and there, haha. Hence, the list above.

Enjoy!

“There is no normal life that is free of pain.
It’s the very wrestling with our problems
that can be the impetus for our growth.”
~Fred Rogers 
XOXOXO

 

 

 

a different mustard seed parable

Friends, here is a Mustard Seed parable for you to soak in. But probably not the one you already know. One of the hundreds of delicious little treasures I want to share with you from The Book of Joy is a new way to think of grief and how it connects us to each other.

This story is a Buddhist fable shared by the Dalai Lama. I’m just going to quiet the short paragraph directly from the book:

“A woman lost her child and was inconsolable in her grief, carrying her dead child throughout the land, begging for someone to help heal her child. When she came to the Buddha, she begged him to help her. He told him he could help her if she would collect mustard seeds for the medicine. She eagerly agreed, but then the Buddha explained that the mustard seeds needed to come from a home that had not been touched by death. When the woman visited each house in search of the mustard seeds that might heal her son, she discovered there was no house that had not suffered the loss fo a parent, or a spouse, or a child. Seeing that her suffering was not unique, she was able to bury her child in the forest and release her grief.”

It doesn’t have to be death, though that is a loss that will eventually unite all of us and possibly the one we all fear the most. I can easily think of several bright, terrifying moments of grief in my own life that have actually softened the more I looked around and saw that other people had lived through the same, or worse. Usually much worse. I bet you would agree.

Seeing that her suffering was not unique, she was able to release her grief.

There’s a lot of comfort available in a loving community. And if we can open up enough, there’s a lot of healing and learning that can happen too. How do people survive trauma? How do they make sense of tragedy? How do they cope, and how do they thrive despite their circumstances and mistakes?

In friendships where I feel comfortable sharing the darkest chapters of our family’s story, and when I can be steady-nerved enough to listen to other people’s darkest chapters, God always shows up. He always showers this peaceful, soothing veil over all the chaos and fear. He answers by reminding me that we are not alone. We are neither the first nor the last to be terrified, and His Love accomplishes actual miracles. 

Things are hardly ever as bad as they feel when we think we are alone. When we think our suffering is unique.

Relax a little, into some trusted community. Dare to open up to other people’s suffering, if only to realize how not unique your own suffering is. Then let all of that emotion turn into compassion. And let that compassion turn to hope. 

Check in again soon for more about community (Ubuntu, in the African tradition) and a couple of delicious mustard seed recipes. I wanted to include all of this together, but it’s just so much.

Happy Sunday friends. Thank you for checking in.

“A person is a person through other persons.”
~Archbishop Desmond Tutu
XOXOXO