Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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tiptoeing into christmas, and asking for your prayers

If I continue waiting to write until life is back to normal and my heart is steady, I am unlikely to ever form a complete sentence again. So here we go.

But the thing is, really, my heart is plenty steady. Despite the massive unknowns and the very real and fresh grief in our family, I am so thankful to be physically home and to be held in every way by God. There is so much more to say. I promise to not be vague forever.

Here is my baby, a woman already, clipping wild sage for me to bring back home. I miss her so much, and yet I feel her right here against my arm and can smell her too. xoxo

Let’s nibble at the day to day things for a bit.

Handsome and I have been tiptoeing into Christmas and it feels nice. It’s important, especially when at first you don’t feel like doing it, you know? I guess it’s all about discerning rituals and traditions apart from cultural obligations. Do what feels good and right. Let it all serve you and your family, rather than become your master.

Immediately after a bizarre and beautiful Thanksgiving with family, we put up our tree, festooned the outside of the house with lights and our Snoopy garden inflatable, and started adding a little more every other day or so. Paperwhite bulbs are inching their way skyward, a sure sign of winter here. A variety of Christmas music plays almost constantly (really loving Sia’s album). More wrapped gifts appear downstairs every day. Neither of us will claim responsibility.

We have accepted more invitations to socialize than I have felt “up to” accepting; and after almost declining each one, every single time I come home so glad. So happy for the loving energy we share with friends and strangers, so refreshed to be away from the farm for a few hours, just to remember that life and the world are big and expansive. As much as I love it here, I always love it even more when we drive home.

I have to mention our dear friends Mickey and Kellie. We’ve all become acquainted sort of by chance (if you still, after all the ways life happens, believe in chance). Now they are part of our fabric, plain and simple. They pray for us and with us. They open their hearts and offer love and support, advice when needed. They feed us both incredible meals and much-needed Truth. If our friendship is an accident, then it ranks among the best in life. A funny thing is that we have precious few photos together (except for Halloween!) because even a small event tends to grow into a leisurely five-hour conversation, all four of us talking and listening and laughing. You know that popular graphic floating around, “Do more of what makes you forget your phone,” well that’s time with Mickey and Kellie. Straight up. So, not many photos. Ha!

We have joined in with the Jedi OKC folks twice recently. Once to dress up for the District Attorney’s Christmas party for foster kids in the OKC area. This is an incredible tradition. Then again for a small town Christmas parade in Blanchard. The weather was merciful and the crowds were so happy and sweet. I am always proud to be with Batman, even if he is embarrassed that when I throw candy I tend to peg kids right in the face.

 

Party on (Bruce) Wayne, party on Darth! xoxo

The Apartment has become Santa’s workshop in new ways this year. Besides sewing (I’m having lots of fun making gifts this year, fun creative surprises, not so much selling aprons right now) the Apartment is a gathering spot. Klaus plays with his myriad toys while I sew or wrap and Handsome draws and paints. Adding a television to this big upstairs room means we can watch Christmas movies as we dabble. It’s all lots of fun, and I hope it becomes a habit that stretches beyond December.

Not pictured is the vacuum sweeper which Klaus is battling, causing him to appear blurry. He regards the Apartment as his playroom. He’s not wrong. xoxo

From a practical standpoint, it’s nice having all of our explosive creativity located in one big, spacious room. It’s decorated and cheerful here but still somewhat “contained,” haha, so the rest of the house stays neat day to day.

Running has been a joy, not a chore at all. Most mornings, right after Handsome leaves for the Commish, I make the bed and wipe down the kitchen, feed the animals, start a load of laundry, and then lace up. Six to eleven miles per day had been my sweet spot, but I am running without a plan this month. Just enough to feel good day to day and keep my heart beating evenly. I have done lots of crying in these solitary hours, and it’s a very good thing. Better runners and more prolific writers than me have already expressed how the physical act of running and breathing is like a mediation, and I will add to that: The privacy of prayer when you are outdoors surrounded by nature is just going to church, plain and simple.

Nice and slow and easy. Refreshing. On this day I remember having energy to spare but my heart was drawn back home. Lots of Christmas things happening!

Speaking of running! Yesterday evening we drove to OKC to join a few dozen local runners for dinner at Hideaway Pizza. Two of my friends plus more have some experience with the Hanson brothers’ marathon training method and have offered their mentorship to those of us who are new to it. I’ve read the book and have already become fascinated by the science, so listening to real life success stories just got my blood pumping for real. I will keep you guys posted on this, whether you want me to or not, ha! Marathon training starts on Christmas week.

Jeff and Robin are two people who have my admiration for many reasons, even outside of their incredible marathon journeys. They are buoyant, joyful, strong, and so loving and prayerful in genuine ways. (But yes for sure I stalk them both on social media for running inspiration!)

Our kitchen’s abundant baking drawer has been restocked now, minus pecans, almonds, and walnuts. Exactly when those items tripled in price I don’t know, but if you have an affordable local spot to suggest I’m all ears!

The Lazy W baking list is long and happy this month. Today a small stack of blank pizza boxes should arrive, meant for packing the treats as gifts. Very excited about this. Hopefully, I’ll soon be joined by a special sous chef or two.

Music is helping me a lot lately. Traditional hymns like “O Little Town of Bethlehem,” especially this line…

The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in Thee tonight.

Also Sia’s album. One song in particular is Snowflake. She croons…

There’s noone like you so I’m gonna hide you my sweet.
Keep you till winter when you won’t be needing me.
Snowflake don’t forget us…
If I were a betting man I’d bet a million of you.
There’s no way around this, the only way now is through.

Friends, life is good and beautiful. Love is as powerful as ever. Prayer works.

I am here to celebrate the little victories and many pleasures afforded us, despite our mistakes and despite the fears looming. But I am also here asking for your prayers. Our beautiful girl is in trouble. We love her so much, it is excruciating, and no matter how busy we stay, she is at the forefront of our minds every minute of every day. She is far away but always in our hearts, often in my dreams, in the background of every conversation, every project.

God has taken so much out of our hands, we have no control right now. But He does. And we believe that He is drawing us in and holding us tight, guiding our beliefs and saying “Witness Me,” watch what He will do for us, for her.

That’s about all I can write this morning. It’s after six now and the roosters are crowing. Another full day is cracking open, and I feel God nearby. In Colorado, too.

Merry Christmassing, friends!
Talk again soon.
XOXOXOXO

 

my bliss list for august

Hello and happy last day of August. I kinda can’t believe what the calendar is declaring, especially compared to what the weather is whispering. But here we are, well past the halfway mark for the year and once again taking stock of so much joy. 

After writing these privately for several months, I’m sharing for the first time my personally curated “Bliss List,” as inspired by an Austin based blogging team The Hungry Yogis. I hope you groove this. 

Farm Stuff…

  • Those chicks that hatched over Memorial Day weekend are growing like happy, bouncy little weeds. Their scruffy feathers have smoothed out, too, and they have found a place in the flock.
  • So much lush, green grass everywhere. Barefoot quality stuff. Cool, velvety lawns devoid of sticker patches. Bliss.
  • Hummingbirds smother the zinnias especially.
  • Speaking of zinnias, they are outstanding this month! As are the sunflowers, oregano, chocolate mint, roses, basil, lemongrass, morning glories, and more. The easiest plants to grow, sure, but no less blissful in their abundance.
  • We have a deer family visit from the Pine Forest several times per week. All month they have gathered at the pond around 5:45 a.m.
  • A baby hawk recently hatched. When it screams at us, we feel like we are in a Heman/Skeletor cartoon.
  • Natasha actually caught and killed a field mouse. It’s a miracle. She paraded it around for days.
  • And we discovered two baby kittens in the barn! Pretty certain that Giant Yellow Forest Cat is the daddy.
  • Fat, healthy, happy horses who (this is a new development) don’t mind fly spray anymore. Bliss for them and for me.
  • This month we collected far more fresh eggs than we could eat and had plenty to share.
  • Herbs, peppers, and leafy greens (kale and arugula) continued to grow the whole month, with constant little harvests. So fun.
  • We picked up an order of fresh hay in early August. The big, heavy bales are fragrant and gorgeous and should last until winter. Bliss to be stocked up.
  • The honeybees are multiplying again and are still building up their honey stores. It’s all pretty magical.
  • Velvet and Lincoln have been staying at the farm!! We all love having them here. So much fun. And it has been a character building experience for Mr. Only Child aka Klaus.
  • My husband has been mowing the grassy areas adjacent to our gravel driveway into curving wildflower meadows. I call it the “Curves and Edges Meadow.” The long, south edge is part of the front field, where Chunk-hi used to live. The earth there is not only healing; it is bursting with new life, a brand new wildness. The poetry is pretty hard to miss.

Personal Stuff…

  • I cut my bangs once this month and did not botch them. Cool.
  • Running has been on a steady uptick, my plantar situation healing nicely and my mileage increasing slowly each week, up to 130.56 for August. Running = bliss.
  • I found a new running trail near the farm! Having options is nice, especially for long-ish miles.
  • My health overall has been great, in fact. I feel easily vibrant, aware of not having chronic troubles. I appreciate it more and more as a gift, not a given.
  • Gutting the Apartment and starting a big redecorating project up there has been deeply satisfying. Like shedding old skin and starting fresh.
  • The book Code Red and all the intense charting I’ve done this summer really came into focus this month. I have enjoyed some fascinating insights and uncanny celestial coincidences. Three or fours women in my life might be about ready for me to stop coercing them to read the book, haha.
  • I am so happy to have made room in my schedule for things that really matter. This particular life improvement showed clearly this past month, and I am grateful. 
  • Good solid contact with my most beloved people. August brought lots of amazing surprises, and I will remember it forever.
  • So many glowing neon signs in life right now, pointing me straight to writing. It has been a month for good, solid alignment of signs, circumstances, and my heart’s desires.
  • August was another month of food triumphs. I could write a book on all the excellent nourishment we enjoyed. Not a cookbook, probably. Just lots of descriptions, ha.

Friends and Family Stuff…

  • We spent lots of quality time with our people this month. From intimate dinners to afternoons with nieces and nephews and of course that 5K downtown, then our big Lazy W Talent Show, August was packed with fun and meaningful socializing. We are surrounded with people who really magnify LOVE.
  • And one Friday night we drove to Norman to see my cousin perform her music live! Such a great night with family, and she is wonderfully talented.
  • I dreamed of my Grandpa all month for some reason. A few times I woke up thinking he was still alive, and that reality stung, but the dreams were sweet and warm and happy. I also happened to find some old letters from him, while cleaning out the Apartment. I think the arugula growing so well has kept him in my every day. Smells, after all, are so powerful.
  • I got to meet Marisa Mohi in person, finally! We had lunch then coffee to discuss bloggish things, then she and Rosie Puppins came to the farm last weekend for our Talent Show. Such a stellar human. I am very happy to know her.

 

Universal Stuff…

  • The eclipse was so refreshing and inspiring. Do you agree? Everyone pausing all day, collectively inhaling and watching the sky, drawn together to focus on something bigger and simpler and far more beautiful than the messes and suffering we have made for each other.
  • Noticing the orchestration of friendships. How sometimes we need someone we have only just met, and they need us too, or other times the familiarity of people who really know your history wraps you up at the perfect moment. The Universe knows us, knows what we need, knows what we have to offer, and is able to weave it all together into a pretty spectacular masterpiece if we relax and allow it to happen. So nice. 
  • This seed of an idea has germinated in my head: That competition can be a waste of energy in intimate relationships. I would love to hear your thoughts on this! But this is on my Bliss List because the notion of complementing each other rather than competing with each other is so sweet and soothing.
My husband snapped this photo of the Oklahoma State Capitol during the eclipse. Unfiltered, so dim and suspenseful.

Friends, thanks for listening. Thanks for checking in. It’s always nice to share the every day blissful details with you. And thank you, Hungry Yogis, for the luscious inspiration!

I hope you are well. I hope if you have loved ones in south Texas that they are safe and secure. 

Trust in Love. Count the tiny pleasures, let them multiply.

“If you are to love, 
love like the moon.
It does not steal the night
it only unveils the beauty of the dark.”
~Isra Al-Thibeh
XOXOXOXO

 

trying to stall time and some special things this week

My brain has this notion that if I plan just a few extra events to break up our routine and also take time to write about our day to day living, then time will slow down a bit. Is this true? I mean, is this a sound theory? Because life is so great; we are happily obsessed with 97.46% of its details, but lately the days are slipping by way too quickly.

If you have any authority or expertise in this department, I will bake or work in your garden in exchange for your help. Thanks in advance.

********************

Following a lovely Monday with my nieces, this past Wednesday was so much fun. Whether my time-slowing theory works or not, Wednesday was a carpe-diem victory in every way.

After some basic early chores and a 7-ish mile run in Choctaw, I showered, did a little sewing, then picked up my long-lost gardening buddy Maddie and her youngest brother for a visit at the farm! We spent all afternoon swimming, brushing horses, and eating watermelon. I loved every minute. She is so good with him, he clearly adores her, and watching them together made me super nostalgic for my own siblings.

“Gabe, are you having fun?” “Why wouldn’t I be? We have watermelon!”

Except I was horrible to my own sibs. Cruel pranks, meanness, cold shoulders, you name it. Except with Genny for some reason. And Philip. I was pretty nice to them. Mostly Angela and Joey were just fun to tease, okay?

Ask me sometime about the school bus trick, ha!

Back to Wednesday.

A quick dust up around the house, a change of clothes, and by early evening Handsome and I were on the road to the Lake Hefner area.

Our friends Mickey and Kellie had invited us for dinner, and we all had the best time. We have been at several larger parties with them but alone just the four of us only once before, and we always enjoy their company so much. Wednesday night was such a treat.

More than a treat. Our dinner date turned into a long, meandering, nourishing conversation that left us feeling like we had known each other all our lives.

And the food was sublime, of course. Mickey and Kellie are foodies of the highest order, and they spoiled us with beef tenderloin, bacon-sauteed Brussels sprouts, and roasted potatoes then sent us home with extra portions of dessert, which was made-from-scratch strawberry shortcake.

By the way, Mickey is the friend I mentioned recently who helped me improve my running form! He is maintaining a mind-blowing streak right now. Crazy cool. And I love listening to him and Handsome talk cars.

Kellie feeds my brain with talk about magnetic earthing, total-person wellness, her love of both the beach and Colorado and excellent food, yoga, and a recent foray into Orange-Theory. I haven’t personally tried this workout yet, but her reviews alone get me interested.

While in their home we enjoyed some reluctant and therefore precious greyhound affection:

She’s blending, she’s blending!

After that mid-week burst of socializing, time did slow a bit, lusciously. Thursday thrummed with the leftover energy of all that love exchanged. And writing about it since then has helped press it all into my skin, again.

You write to live life twice, after all.

Since then, routines are keeping us busy. Running all the miles, collecting eggs and admiring the Memorial Day chicks, playing endless games of fetch with Sir Klaussen, watering and exploring the gardens.

 

 

Life is good. Beyond good.

If I cannot slow time exactly, then I will be content to magnify the moments.

Thanks to our friends and family for helping to make our week special. We love you all!

“Kindred spirits are not so scare as I used to think.
It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.”
~L.M. Montgomery,
Anne of Green Gables
XOXOXOXO

 

nieces’ back to school, easy mug cakes, & a luscious rainy tuesday

Yesterday I happily set aside a bunch of Monday routines in order to spend some time with my two beautiful nieces on their last day of summer break.

Kenzie is entering fifth grade, and Chloe is entering sixth, and both attend school in Oklahoma City where they have year-round schedules.

As I was inhaling dramatically to offer them much needed comfort about the sad end of summer and the horrible bummers of being thrust back into early mornings and unoriginal uniforms, they both rocked my world with outbursts about how thrilled, excited, and motivated they are for the new school year.

I was like, wait, what?

Personally? I always loved school. The beginning especially was magical. But in recent years I have noticed so many kids bemoaning it. These girls are legitimately happy. Their burst of enthusiasm really caught me by surprise and made me proud of them.

As soon as I arrived, Chloe sat me down on the couch for what became a 45-minute backpack tour. She pulled out, modeled, and explained every notebook and accessory, every color scheme and organizing tool, all the details of her new gym bag (she gets to have volleyball practice before school, shower at the gym, and “clear her head” before study hall, be still my heart!) plus new shoes that aren’t too new, they’re broken in just perfectly.

Kenzie admitted to having a little more in her new back pack than she needed, but every item had a solid reason for being there. And she was very much infatuated with her chosen colors and patterns, too. The whole display was terribly endearing. Oh, and I got to bring her a belated birthday gift!

She is really into mermaids right now, so we gave her one of those plush tail blankets and I embroidered her a big tote bag to say, “Mermaid in Training.”

After luxuriating in back to school joy and the girls’ plans to make good first impressions, we made lunch. Chloe mixed up a chopped Asian salad for us to share, Kenzie toasted bagels, and I made each of us an omelette. We could have gone out to eat, but the girls surprised me again by saying they’d rather stay home to play cards, eat small foods, and just talk.

“Umm hello, where are the modern, bad attitude, spoiled preteens please?”

As we assembled our little bistro lunch, Chloe explained that volleyball season had just started and that this year it’s lasting longer and is a bigger deal than before. She is trying to take it more seriously, think of herself as an athlete now, and therefore really consider what food she puts in her body.

I KNOW. Obviously I will need to order her a copy of Matt Fitzgerald’s Endurance Diet, right?

Then for fun (because even athletes need to have fun) we made mug cakes. Have you tried this yet? They are as easy as the internet claims, and they are highly customizable and satisfying. I recently made a peanut butter variation at home for Handsome, and it murdered his sweet tooth that night. Mug cakes are a great trick to have up your sleeve if you’re trying to limit but not eliminate desserts.

Here is an easy starting point for a single serving chocolate mug cake. Obviously the sky’s the limit on what you add in before cooking or how you top it afterwards.

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 cup sugar

2 TB unsweetened cocoa

3 TB milk

3 TB vegetable oil (or melted butter)

1/4 tsp vanilla

All you do is coat a good sized coffee mug with nonstick oil spray, mix those 6 basic ingredients in it with a spoon, add what you want (like marshmallows, chopped nuts, a dollop of peanut butter, chocolate chips, broken up candy bars, etc), and microwave for 2 minutes. It comes out piping hot and not very gorgeous, but you can conceal the weird surface with all sorts of pretty, delicious things like cool whip or ice cream. I dare you to try it!

My half-day with the nieces ended with a raucous card game of “Baloney,” which was so fun. My nephew, their beloved big brother who grew up alongside my own two girls, and his girlfriend got home and joined us for that bit of nonsense. What great kids, in every way. I am so thankful for my family.

The rest of Monday was spent back at the farm making a dent in house work, which included a big effort clean the downstairs floors. Over the weekend I had grabbed this spray cleaner to try on our wood floors, and it smells nice and cleaned them okay, but zero gloss. What do you guys use for shining wood floors?

Then Handsome and I had a pretty romantic Monday night, to cap it all off. We have been binge-watching Mad Men and both love it so much. Neither of us got the foot rubs I mentioned in yesterday’s post, haha, but maybe that’s what Tuesday nights are for.

Now, midday Tuesday, I am diving back into projects around the house while the farm soaks up many hours of cool, gentle rain. Unheard of weather for August first in Oklahoma.

This morning I joined two local friends for a 6+ mile run, just as the rain got started, and it was pure heaven. This is one of days that helps you catch your breath and makes you crave deep cleaning, fresh sheets, Spanish guitar, and soup for dinner.

If I get caught up enough on housework, then my big fancy afternoon plan is to mellow the entire house, shower and even wear perfume (ha), then read somewhere quiet and cozy for as long as Klaus will tolerate it. Cross your fingers for me that the rain makes him sleepy. I am in the middle of three really good books right now, and everybody knows that rainy afternoons are best for reading.

Tomorrow afternoon I have two special guests coming to the farm, then in the evening my husband and I will be guests at our friends’ home for dinner. Very excited for all of that, and I will share stories and photos soon!

Happy Tuesday, friends. Keep on carpe-ing those diems!

“There shall be eternal summer
in the grateful heart.”
~Celia Thaxter
XOXOXOXO

 

 

3rd of 7 simple things that have improved my running lately

Thanks for stopping in to chat again about running! Running is probably my fourth favorite topic of conversation, after what I like to eat, how cute my dog is, and how the book is always better than the movie.

Today I have collected my thoughts about post-run stretching and cool downs. Just how it has all helped me feel great these past few months.

Apex Trail, Colorado, July 2017

In case you want to catch up, I’ve been slowly writing this little series. You can click the links below to read about each topic. I would love to hear your thoughts!

7 Simple Improvements to Running

  1. Dynamic Warm Ups before every single run, no matter what.
  2. Tweaks in Running Form (thanks again Mickey!)
  3. Longer, more mindful stretching cool-downs
  4. Abs, Glutes, & Hips! Actually all sorts of cross training, but especially core work.
  5. Diet Improvements, especially migrating toward the “Queen-Princess-Pauper” pattern.
  6. Intuitive Living, all the things we do daily to re-learn how to trust our own bodies
  7. Attitude and Outlook! Gratitude every day, for every mile, no matter what.

#3. Cool Down & Stretch!!

All the time runners joke about how they know they should stretch more, but they just don’t. Why do you think that is? My theory is that the ritual robs more of our precious laced-up time. We’re busy people and are already bummed for the mile we missed doing dynamic warm ups, right? haha

The thing is, stretching is magical. It feels good immediately to lengthen and rest our hard working muscles while we catch our breath; and it does a lot long term to prevent injury, helping us avoid back-body tightness and all kinds of other problematic stuff. I am pretty sure not stretching for so many weeks had a lot to do with my foot pain turning into total calf pain, then knee pain, hip weirdness, etc. All better now, though!

Rather than reinvent the wheel and tell you exactly what stretches to do (they are so easily researched), I’ll just encourage you, if you don’t have a routine yet, to find one and be consistent. I used to think it was just a fancy formality, but it really does help. Mine takes maybe 6 or 7 minutes and is deeply refreshing.

And I will offer these extra personal tidbits:

  • Hold each position for a longer time than you think is necessary, no bouncing please.
  • Explore twists and deepening moves as you go, like in yoga. Find the tension in your body, the sweet spots, everything.
  • Breathe fresh air and light into your body as you stretch, too. (Yes I know that makes me sound like I follow moon cycles, I do.)
  • Lastly (this is the most personal part) give thanks for the miles you just finished. Let your cool down be an overall closing ritual so that you end on a really positive, healthy note. Even on the days you are not super quick or maybe your endurance was slightly less than you wanted it to be (hello summertime temps), you did more than zero! And by giving your body some TLC you get to try again soon. Also, I have always been vainly critical of my legs, so this deliberate act of appreciation for my body’s work has done wonders to help me feel happier and more focused on health and wellness than just looks.

Results?

Since adding the dynamic warm ups before running and the cool down stretches after, I have noticed a delicious flexibility in my joints and actual smoothness in my muscles. Strong but not stiff. Really nice.  I rarely hobble around the farm anymore, either, which is good. I definitely look forward to those mellow minutes at the end of each workout.

So do your warm ups. Have great form. Stretch!

And do George Michael karaoke if you get the chance.

“Stretching’s natural, stretching’s good!
Not every runner does it, but every runner should!”
XOXOXOXO