OKC Memorial Marathon

how not to fight with your loving husband if you are tapering during PMS

April 15, 2015

Or, this could be titled, “how not to fight with your loving husband if you are experiencing PMS during your taper week.” However you look at it. Is a zebra back with white stripes, or white with black stripes?

Either way, for the second year in a row, I am tapering for the marathon during the exact days my body is, shall we say, waning toward its new moon? Yes, let’s say it like that. I am about to be depleted in every conceivable way (no pun intended) (not that we’re conceiving), and if I’m not careful things could get dicey on the home front. Normally during these few days I’m not a total nightmare, but I do cry easily at Geico commercials, and here is the general sum of my personality: I am highly suspect of all politeness, assuming it must be a fearful if silent comment on what a bad mood I’m in.

Seriously, if Handsome and I ever engage in marital battle, it is almost exclusively during those few days of PMS, and it is almost always because I was so fed up with him being so careful with my feelings.

LOL. His wife is such a peach.

So, throw some bouncy legs and an anxious mind into the mix, and we have ourselves an interesting situation. Here’s my 5-step plan to keep the peace:

Eat Healthfully. No last minute extreme dieting, but also no emotional binge eating to soothe my nerves. I’m gonna eat right, stay hydrated, and continue taking iron, vitamins, and if necessary, Midol. (“Do you mean the bitchy pills, Ray?”)
Gentle Exercise. Since my running (the obvious stress buster) has to be slashed down to a bare minimum, I’ll spend the next ten days walking plenty, and I’ll do it outdoors for the best mood lifting results. I’ll also spend time with my favorite yoga videos.
So much reading. I am up to my splintless (thank-you-baby-jesus) shins in really good books right now, and with all this spare time on my hands (what with the not running) I plan to zen out with great food for thought. One is Sydney Portier’s spiritual memoir. Another is a new release piece of fiction by Dean Koontz (haven’t read him since probably my twenties, got a sudden craving for his language). And then there’s our book club’s current selection, which is another memoir: this one is by a female photojournalist who spent most of her career in war-torn countries. Hhmm. Okay, so maybe I’ll save that last one for after the race. Book club is exactly one week following, anyway. Plenty of time later.
Reality Check. I will remind myself as often as needed that this whole situation is completely voluntary and that it was me, not him, who volunteered for it. Moreover, that along the way he has been incredibly supportive of me and brags about me constantly for no reason, so I really have no right to make him pay an even higher price for my pent up adrenaline by fighting with him. No matter how many weird little moments of rub we may experience, I am resolved to not over-thinking a single word or facial expression.
Among other sweet gestures, he makes sure my shoes are the bomb.
Fingers Crossed and Dark Chocolate in the Pantry Just in Case. Because you can’t be too careful.

I hope this is useful to at least one other woman out there who has such similar good fortune as me to taper during PMS. It is so awesome and I really hope this happens every time I run a marathon!! Can you hear me gritting my teeth as I say that?

Now share with us your own wisdom. Have you ever tapered at an already difficult time? How did you cope? Are you local and will you come rescue my sweet, wonderful husband?

The struggle.
It’s real.
XOXOXO

fun with a focus group (okc memorial marathon)

July 23, 2014

Yesterday afternoon I visited the Oklahoma City National Memorial again, this time to meet with a focus group all about the annual race events. A local consulting firm, together with the Memorial folks, had extended an open invitation for runners to come share their thoughts about our experiences overall, and I was thrilled to participate. About thirty people showed up for our afternoon meeting, and I suspect as many were there for the evening session.

I am so glad I went. Not only was it fun to relive the memories from April one more time, but I also got to meet lots more happy Oklahomans and hear perspectives from other (more experienced) running vets. You might say this made me want to travel to more destination races. Chicago, Kansas City, Austin… OKC may be ranked as among the top 12 globally, and I am so proud of that; but it has whetted my appetite to see what other events are out there. Somebody warn Handsome.

Also, they had snacks. I ate two giant chocolate-chip cookies. A rumor was floating around the room that macadamia nut cookies were available, but I could never find them. This haunted me for hours afterward.

I met Mollie Coats, Memorial Marathon Coordinator, who is as warm and friendly as any one person has the right to be. She went far out of her way to thank us all for participating. I also got to hear Kari Watkins, Executive Director of the Memorial, give a quick speech. She mostly addressed the gravity issues of planning such a mammoth event in a large city, those things which are largely out of anyone’s control and require lots of working around and teeth gritting. For example, clearing and protecting the streets for so many square miles and for so many hours. And… Oklahoma weather. Everyone laughed because no one will ever forget the sketchy thunderstorm morning and two-hour race delay of 2014.

The Devon tower in downtown OKC, surrounded thickly by black, churning clouds. Friends, this is exactly how my dream looked, minus one broad band of lightning.

One issue on which Kari touched was the ongoing Oklahoma City renaissance and how it impacts the race. It’s a mixed blessing, of course. As our beautiful city continues to grow and expand, deepening in local culture everywhere you look, the traffic thickens exponentially. The challenges of finding ideal race routes and keeping them both safe and cooperative with the rest of life are very real. So my hat is off to the people in charge of this. I can barely decide whether growing seed potatoes is economically viable, or shouldn’t I just stick with the 10-pound bag of Russets from Crest?

We were seated in assigned places among several round tables. After some fun introductions, the lovely ladies in charge of the study, Sarah and Amber, asked us to designate a scribe and speaker for our smaller groups. Then they guided us through a series of thought-provoking questions about specific aspects of the Memorial event, starting with the website and online registration and continuing through the Expo and all the way up to our experiences at the finish line.

I was so happy to get to voice the specific things I loved about the experience overall. The balloons, the encouraging emails, the feelings of suspense, the rhythm of the race especially after Lake Hefner, the Voice of The Thunder sounding off announcements, all of it. My friends and family hear from me about running ALL. THE. TIME. but yesterday I got to express how much certain little things meant to me last April, and every other runner in the room got it.

Behold the power of decorations! I am not even kidding. These balloons take my breath away. They make me emotional. Please always have them, Expo folks! Thank you.

We didn’t all agree on everything (I personally have no need of free beer, for example, LOL, but why not?) but that part of the process was fun too. I was surprised that other races are apparently conducted quite differently. For example, one change I hope the Memorial Marathon folks take into serious consideration is a wave start. That would be amazing. Even with potential weather complications (Oklahoma will always be at particular risk for this) it sounds like this would be a great improvement.

Another improvement that seemed popular around the room, particularly with the women, was shopping discounts at the Expo for registered runners. And free massages, taping, and other interactive features.

I suggested that they ask the Wonderbread bakery to NOT bake bread that morning since we run right past it and it made me sad this year to smell bread and yeast, but some runners actually liked it. My guess is that Wonderbread does not care if they make me sad for five minutes once a year.

Oh, well.

The ninety scheduled minutes flew right by in a chattery, productive whirlwind. I do wish we had more time. I am so thankful for the invitation to give feedback and really thankful for the appreciation they showed us for attending. (Am I allowed to say what the parting gift was? It was pretty awesome.)

My favorite question all afternoon was actually offered to me by Sarah at the beginning. I had arrived early and for several minutes was the only participant in the room. She asked which race I ran and would I do it again next year, then why? Why do you run this particular race, and why will you do it again? Well, I choked back tears and opened my mouth to answer, then the double doors to the conference room parted with a whoosh of air conditioned freshness, and a flood of smiling people walked in. Our conversation was gently put on pause, and she asked me to please email my answer. They want to understand people’s different motivations.

I’ll email her. And I’ll tell you guys too, because I love you. I so appreciate you stopping to read and follow the adventures here.

Why This Race? Why the Full?

I run the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon because this is my home town.
Because what happened here in 1995 needs to be remembered.
Because we have the opportunity to maintain beautiful traditions and memories
instead of closing up around wounds from an evil day.
This event is an outward expression of Oklahoma’s resilience and loving energy.

I run to honor the victims and also
to pay ongoing respect to the first responders,
especially my parents-in-law, Harvey and Judy Wreath.

I choose to run the full marathon because it presents the best challenge.
Because for 26.2 miles you see more of this beautiful city
and feel more of the outpouring of love from its citizens.

On the full marathon course you feel more emptiness as you go,
depleting your mind and body in new ways.
Then you are washed in more joy and relief
than you ever dreamed possible.

Just like life.

I run the full marathon because it touches something primal inside me,
and I want to feel that over and over again for as long as I live.

The challenge of the course reminds me of how the first responders
had to do far more than they thought was possible.
They gave of themselves beyond what they thought they could.
They stayed. They discovered new depths within themselves.
They finished.

Four or five hours of fun for me is nothing compared to three horrific weeks.
They worked for three weeks to recover, protect, honor, rescue, identify,
and love in every possible way every person who was affected.
Running this fun, rewarding, exhilarating race is the very least
and the most selfish thing I can do to honor Harvey, Judy,
and all the hundreds of first responders.

xoxoxoxo

So thank you, Kari, Mollie, Amber, and Sarah. Thank you to all the people who organized this focus group fun and especially to everyone who makes the Memorial events so incredible. Next spring will mark the twentieth anniversary of the Murrah Building Bombing, and I know you all are intent on making the commemoration extra special. Thank you ahead of time. I wish you all the best and cannot wait to register!

This Time Last Year…

April 17, 2014

This week Mama Kat wonders what we were blogging about this time last year. Hhhmmm… You’ll never guess…

In April 2013 I was writing pretty much the same things I would be writing now, if I were talking time to write lately.

The Lazy W had just adopted Seraphine and we were waiting for a llama to be born. And I was still in my thirties. I’m no longer in my thirties, but once again we are waiting for a baby!

Note: This was before Dulcinea came along, so Romulus still allowed the horses a reasonable proximity to his woman. This peaceful coexistence was short lived, though. — Note: This was before Dulcinea came along, so Romulus still allowed the horses a reasonable proximity to his woman. This peaceful coexistence was short-lived, though.

I was super enthusiastic about helping some legislation pass in Oklahoma that made it easier for local beekeepers to share and sell their product. It did pass, by the way! And I realized that once in a while I could write something useful, something practical. I was happy to see that writing could become something even more than catharsis.

That month, just like now, I was planting early veggies and bemoaning the transient Oklahoma weather. We had a whopper of a storm season, to put it mildly.

In that month I reviewed books like Khalil Gibran, Typee, and Don Quixote. I did lots of outdoor reading, before our buffalo had destroyed those two awesome loungers. D-E-S-T-R-O-Y-E-D, you guys.

I was random as usual and loved me some cowbell. Back then I was still subbing younger kids once in a while, not yet aware of how greatly I would prefer the junior high kids and their much earlier schedule. In defense of little kids, though, they do write more love notes.

The Boston Marathon was bombed, and of course we all were reeling from the horrific losses. I had little to say except an encouragement to increase our joy. Only light drives out darkness. Still believe that.

And, finally, just like I did this year (until recently), I had a big ol’ juicy case of nerves over the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon. 2013 was my first half and I was pretty much a basket case. But you know what? It was amazing! I had such a blast; the run itself was easier than I expected; and I was hooked on big, fun, meaningful races, particularly this one. Forever. A few days after that event I wrote about how it all had improved my outlook on life. Because I am cheesy like that.

Still cheesy.

So there ya go! That’s about what was going on at the digital Lazy W one year ago. Not too terribly different from what’s happening here now. What’s new (or not new) in your corner of paradise?

XOXOXOXO

Mama Kat's weekly link up is full of fun blogs, check it out! — http://www.mamakatslosinit.com/2014/04/things-that-make-me-happy/

Marathon Monday: Harvey’s Story, part 2

April 15, 2014

Several days ago I posted the first in a series of three posts honoring my father in law
and his work as a first responder to the OKC Murrah Building Bombing in April, 1995.
I want to thank all of you for your kind responses, for sharing your own stories,
and for helping to observe this anniversary with the right spirit.
Following is part two. It is a bit more graphic and intense,
so please keep that in mind before you read.
I know for many Oklahomans this is still a fresh wound.
Much love to everyone.

THE MORGUE TEAM

The morgue team was led by Dr. Jordan, a prominent and beloved member of the medical community. He insisted on a show of the utmost respect for every victim of the bombing, and in turn he won the respect of his team every step of the way.
Of the sixty people assembled plus another twenty military personnel manning the phones, Harvey and Judy were already friends with half a dozen. Many of the rest would become permanent connections for them, indelible marks on their life stories.
The morgue team’s initial task was to frame lists of people known to be in the Murrah building that morning, as well as lists of people who might have been there. Since the building hosted agencies like the Social Security Administration, the possibilities of different visitors were endless.

Then the bodies started arriving. The team’s primary job quickly became positive identification of every victim. Dr. Jordan had set high standards, and every team member was vigilant. They identified people through detailed physical descriptions, fingerprints, dental records, and, when necessary, DNA.

No one had ever before seen a disaster of this magnitude, and the pressure was immense. Eventually they saw a total of 168 dead. It is estimated that 20% of Oklahoma City was grieving the loss of at least one person. One in five people attended funeral services for loved ones killed in the bombing. Many people attended multiple services, and sometimes there were so many funerals overlapping that mourners had to make the impossible choice of which one to attend.
Harvey and Judy knew eight of the deceased personally, but they continued their gruesome and heartbreaking work. In the course of his duties, Harvey himself identified two of those eight lost loved ones.

None of the work was easy, but everyone on the morgue team agreed that handling the lost babies was hardest. Dozens of infants and toddlers were seriously injured by the blast, and 19 were killed. The morgue team had the unfathomable burden of identifying each of these smallest Oklahomans.
By about the seventh day, police officers began visiting homes of missing children to collect hair samples from tiny hairbrushes and fingerprints from sippy cups. Of course, the parents were unbelievably grieved.
Mourning families waited daily for news, but they were kept far away from the morgue and well out of view of the refrigerator trucks where the bodies were kept safe prior to identification. For years after that, Judy would grieve freshly every time she glimpsed such a refrigerator truck out in public.

For the adults who would have had dental records available for comparison, Dr. Glass from the OU School of Dentistry orchestrated a team of first-year students to help with the work. Judy drove that same Hallpark patrol car all over the metro area collecting records and bringing them back to the team. Again, unprepared for such a task, a large percentage of these students ultimately chose not to pursue dentistry as a profession. They were not alone in their trauma: The regional American Red Cross lost 80% of its volunteer base following the shock of this tragedy.

But that was all much later. While there was work still to be done, everyone stayed. In fact, during those awful weeks, Oklahoma received more volunteers ready to work than there was work to be done.

Harvey would later recall one Oklahoma City dentist desperate to find ways he could help the recovery efforts. He ended up donating more than enough toothbrushes, toothpaste, mouthwash, and other oral hygiene supplies so the morgue workers could have some semblance of self care while they spent all their energy caring for others.

This particular contribution would eventually lead to the only moment of levity Harvey and Judy would experience during these weeks. One bright afternoon, Judy was driving up to the site, nearing 8th and Lincoln, swishing her mouth with pure, undiluted Listerine donated by this dentist. It was so sharp and powerful that it choked her, and she swerved the patrol car severely, pulling off and stopping at the side of the road. Military personnel guarding the area recognized her and thought she was in distress, possibly shot. Instantly two humvees filled with armed guards sped over the curb and flanked the Hallpark patrol car. By now Judy had opened her driver side door and was coughing out the strong mouthwash, laughing hard. They all three surrendered to brief and bittersweet laughter.

SECURITY AND RESPECT

As head of Security, Harvey made several decisions. One of his first was to block all roads leading into the morgue area, which they accomplished with the help of military presence. Harvey also acquired X-ray machines to ensure that the many incoming packages were safe. Bomb scares were still on the forefront of everyone’s minds. Additionally, to control foot traffic in and out of the makeshift morgue, he implemented neck chains with photo ID badges and a strict sign-in/sign-out policy. Only approved team members were allowed past a certain point, and everyone answered to Dr. Jordan. Even other uniformed police officers and well meaning volunteers were turned away in order to preserve the security and integrity of the team’s sensitive work. Again, Oklahoma had more than enough generous volunteers. Love had saturated every single effort.

Sensationalism and fanfare were foreign concepts here. The gravity of the situation was felt constantly by all team members. The morgue was a fiercely protected “No Camera Zone,” and on at least two separate occasions people trying to infiltrate the area to snap tabloid photos lost either their equipment or their jobs or both. Respect for those lost was paramount and violations were not tolerated. Fortunately, the vast majority of people agreed and cooperated with this sentiment. Whether native Oklahomans or volunteers from around the world, first responders were people finding needs to fill and putting Love into action.

It was so much more than work for Harvey and Judy and their colleagues. With every positive identification, following the rigorous standards set forth by Dr. Jordan, the place quieted. Every time a victim was released to a funeral home, he or she left the morgue with perfect solemnity and affection. Reverence was shown at every turn, and the team members all stopped their work to stand and say goodbye. For fallen military or law enforcement personnel, strong, tender salutes were given. But everyone was important. Everyone was a fallen American.

Several days into the grueling assignment, as victims started leaving the morgue for their final resting places, it was widely known that what our beautiful city had suffered was an act of terrorism.

Thank you for reading, friends. More of the story will come probably next week.
Please feel free to continue adding your own memories
or any words from your heart. And thank you so much for sharing this, Harvey.
xoxoxoxo

Marathon Training Begins

December 29, 2013

Ah, January… you temptress. You flirt.

Forever seducing me and scandalizing my imagination with possibility, with promise, with high energy and blank-page calendars just begging to be scribbled with lists and fantasies about all the good things I want to accomplish and become.

But this year, I have a more concrete plan for you.

As January is every year, this month in 2014 will be replete with new beginnings. Fresh starts. Our gardens will need planning and cleaning; the sparkly holiday decor will get swapped for scrubbed baseboards and fresh pillow covers; and I might even be studying Spanish and attending a series of beekeeping classes. All good, worthwhile stuff. But there is one new start that will require more focus and discipline than all the others put together…

OKC Marathon official site

On December 30th, I begin serious training for the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon. After talking about it for several months, the time has finally come to get to work. Quit goofing aroung and start putting in the hours and miles. Following a wildly successful and really fun half marathon last spring, my excitement level for this new challenge is through the roof!

Our west field is not warm and verdant like this right now. But I am dreaming of it hard.

As this cold new month pries open her sleepy eyes, a mere 117 days remain until the race. One hundred seventeen days to train my body (and more importantly, my mind) to run 26.2 miles safely and smoothly. I will be more or less following the Hal Higdon training program dubbed “Novice 2.” You can see this 18-week plan right here.

If I am reading this plan right, then the coming weeks will accumulate a whopping 397 training miles. EEK. I might need new socks.

Are you running this winter and spring? Are you training for any particular race? I hope to write weekly or bi-weekly updates on marathon prep in the coming months, so I would be really jazzed if you followed along. I’m a sucker for encouraging words, and if you’re local and training too, even better!

Besides running, what other fresh starts are on your January horizon?

Jogging is very beneficial. It’s good for your legs and your feet.
It’s also very good for the ground. It makes it feel needed.
~Charles Schulz
XOXOXOXO

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