holidays

happy new year from the lazy w!!

January 1, 2019

Happy New Year! The first day of a sparkling new season, a meandering story certainly worth telling. I am so happy to still be here writing, trying to document our life stories and capture some of the learning curve along the way.

Regarding the above photo, two things: I am very excited to soon finish some extensive dental work that could end a lifetime of front-tooth replacement drama. This means I might soon smile for photos with my mouth OPEN, ha. Also, I am loving winter garden tasks lately. So much. Just looking at this, I can smell the cedar and feel the crunch of leaves.

How are you? How was your December-January threshold celebration?

Our last day of 2018 was quiet and well spent. Yesterday while Handsome was at the Commish, I took down all of our Christmas decorations and started cleaning the house. Klaus helped by requiring lots of fetch in between. I also grabbed my final run of the calendar year and started cooking and setting up for a casual dinner with Mickey and Kellie. We had “church” on Monday evening this week, and it ended up being a sweet and perfect New Year’s Eve, just the four of us. I promise to tell you about this project soon, as in this month. Pinky promise.

After we hugged a lot and the Sperrys went home (around 10 p.m.), Handsome and I got into some pajamas and cuddled up to read aloud our 2018 Grievances. This is only the second year we have done this, but we both know it is a favorite tradition that will likely stay with us for the rest of our lives.

It’s so simple, too. We just keep a large empty jar in our bedroom and a supply of blank slips of paper near it. Both of us are free every day throughout the year to scribble down little memories and love notes, details of daily life we want to remember. As with yours, our life is brimming with variety and roller coasters. The details each of us chooses to harness are a lot of fun to read at the end of the year! We cover everything from romance and super romance (brown chicken brown cow, haha) to family updates, farm projects, stressors overcome, community stuff, funny animal stories, excellent meals, and all the stuff in between. You name it, one of us has documented it in short sentences and messy handwriting.

So we accumulate them all year long. Then on New Year’s Eve, at least an hour ahead of the countdown, we take turns reading aloud the other person’s notes. Oh! We call them “grievances” because at some point in 2017 a joke started about filing grievances, something funny, I don’t remember now because we forgot to write that down, ha!

Example, an entry of mine following our Second Annual Talent Show which was rained out and which my husband rescued in one million vital ways:

Anyway. It’s heartwarming and funny, and it is amazing how many big and little events tend to otherwise blur together or standout in weird ways until we read our real-time reactions to them. Does that make sense? It’s a tiny, easy little time warp into our own minds. The things that mattered to us on no particular days in the past. We both love it. And it is funny how many events we both chose to document, unwittingly along with the other.

Okay, moving on.

Speaking of writing and keeping history, this year one of my seven million happy intentions is to blog more regularly, to keep an actual account of daily life. I don’t know whether I have a specialty niche to offer the internet, but as they say, each of us is an expert in our own selves, in our own lives, so that much I can definitely offer. And I will gratefully and freely admit, my husband and I have built and enjoy a really beautiful life here on these nine acres. Lots to share if I just take the time. I hope you will follow along.

I am reading for the second time the small daily devotional called “Jesus Calling.” It was a soothing and inspiring little daily ritual for most of 2018, and I am excited to dive more deeply this year. Plus, I get to read over again the notes I wrote on each calendar date from last year. So much has changed in our life, so many miracles, so much growth! It’s going to be fun to re-experience all of that, including the hard weeks.

Today’s standout scripture is from Romans 12: “Be ye not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” This speaks to me more vividly all the time. It all starts in our minds, truly. And I crave deeper transformation than ever before. As for the worldly part, also yes. Yes a thousand times. It takes effort, but resisting the push and pull of trends and bandwagons is good. Cultivating our own paths, learning to ignore outside pressures and actively choose to not be conformed, that is all so good and juicy. “The Joy of Missing Out” has been on my mind all month long. Ironically, I don’t feel like I have missed out on anything that matters. It’s a pretty nifty little paradox.

One of the television programs that made a big impact on us last year was The Kindness Diaries, and my husband especially has taken up the chance to connect with the show’s host and author, Leon Logothetis, via social media. As a result, he has received two books in the mail and is excited to read them. One is a memoir of the making of the show’s first season. The other is called, Live, Love, Explore. After my guy studied The Book of Joy with me, helped host that amazing discussion dinner, and then propagated that material to his friends and employees, I am so happy deep in my bones for this next experience.

Farm Census to Start the Year:

We still have two fat, sassy horses, Chanta and Dusty. Both male, both cut, both extremely affectionate and smart, but neither trained. No, before you ask, sadly I guess, we do not ride them. But we do love them so very much.

We have one slightly famous llama, Meh, who is approaching five years old. He was born here at the Lazy W to registered and beloved parents Romulus and Seraphine. Meh is one of those animals who is more than the sum of his fuzzy parts. We just plain love him to the moon and back. Meh was recently immortalized by local artist Emily Williams, and as long as I am lucky enough, the artwork is hanging in our living room. Pretty sure Handsome will scoop it up and take it to his office before long.

The Lazy W has two South African geese, one gander named Johnny Cash (we always say his full name) and one mostly blind, barely walking, still elegant and beautiful female named Mama Goose. We are amazed she is still with us after so many years, so much extreme weather, and so many predator encounters. We love her. We love them both.

Along with the geese we currently have nine chickens. Two of them are mature roosters, and the other seven are gorgeous little hens, all hatched here at the W. My “pet” is called Red Shoulder Chicken, so name because in good weather she has a penchant for hopping all the way up to my shoulder to perch. She rather demands (and therefore receives) lush and colorful kitchen treats before settling for pedestrian chicken scratch.

Lately we have been getting two large, heavy fresh eggs every day or so. Our hens are young. It will naturally increase as weather improves and the hens mature, but I also want to increase our laying flock this year. The trouble is that we want to keep them safe in the penned yard (hash-tag hawks and owls), but space is limited. We want them to be super happy and have room to play. We shall see.

Three barn cats grace us with their presence and for food and cuddles, and each of them has a distinct personality. Klaus loves them like the small, vulnerable siblings they are. He roughs them up violently and with great zeal. I taught him this.

Fast Woman still appears when the stars align, and I recently dreamed that she was shrinky-dink size but three times as loud as normal.

Also, of course, you know Klaus, and if you have been reading here very long you know Pacino, our adolescent macaw. We have some possible life-improving plans for Pacino his year. Stay tuned.

Have you ever taken a meditation class? Handsome and I and a few of our friends are flirting with the idea of attending some being offered near the farm, and a Buddhist Monastery. I am pretty excited. Reading, studying, thinking, journaling, and staying in contemplation are all easy for me. Quieting my mind, not so much. But I crave “spaciousness” and ease, and this could be a pathway to that. Plus, one of our happy intentions for 2019 is to explore other faiths. Love it. I will keep you posted.

Ok, I am so glad you stuck around for some thoughts and reintroductions to the farm. Again, thank you for reading. Thanks so much for giving me a chance to share some of the things I find to be truly amazing in this life.

More than ever, I feel the cascade of Grace and Joy, and I am eager to write it all down. Happiest of the New Year to you, friends. I hope you can take hold of this wave of good energy and make it your own. See you again soon.

“We are all gardeners,
planting seeds of intention
and watering them with attention
in every moment
of every day.”
~Cristen Rodgers
XOXOXOXO

a solid week of giving thanks

November 27, 2018

Hello, friends, happy last week of November to you. We are here at the farm taking deep breaths and settling into our coziest, happiest early winter vibes, having properly celebrated a full week of Thanksgiving. We feel deeply grateful. And full. Our hearts and our bellies are so very full. It hurts a little, but it’s ok.

Last week our gatherings were a delicious mix of romance and solitude, friends and family, and a dash of community outreach. We spent our days and evenings mostly together, and I loved it. Klaus’ brother Lincoln was also with us until Saturday, which greatly added to the holiday cheer.

We exercised gently when it felt good and we had the time. We ate endless feasts of our favorite traditional foods. We watched movies at home and napped shamelessly. We completed fun projects around the farm, had a couple of prayer meetings with precious friends, and started making big, happy plans for Christmas.

My parents hosted the local family on Friday evening. This year, none of our coastal siblings came to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving, and neither of my girls were with us (Jess was with her Dad’s family on Thursday, excited that her brother is in town from college, wahoo! Then she came down with strep throat, poor girl). We also are missing Grandpa Rex an awful lot. We could have focused on the people not with us, and in fact missing Jocelyn so acutely right now, I cried a lot on our drive to the City.

But somehow, the collective joy and laughter were powerful enough to drive out any sadness. I so appreciate this about my family. Everyone is so fun loving and light hearted, no matter what difficulty we are facing. Sometimes, I think, we are silly to spite what we are facing. And we have faced plenty over the years.

There’s a whole funny story about this moment that will probably lose all its humor in translation so just trust me here.

Mom, Angela, and I divided the menu, and I dare say conquered it. Three generations ate like kings and queens. Afterwards, everyone was able to fill their refrigerators with excellent leftovers.

We played board games after dinner, and thanks to some magical November weather, the kids played outside.

My nephew Dante and baby brother Phil. Love them so much!!

Our Dad built this swing set for us when I was still in middle school. Now the little kids love it, and I bet they don’t even know that once I fell from it and busted my head open and got stitches and still have the scar.

On Sunday, Handsome and I welcomed several close friends at the farm for a low-key Friends-giving. Two fine humans named Kellie and Mickey arrived early, rolled up their sleeves, and helped finish all the food prep while we all chatted about deep and joyful new things. I have to say, the four of us make an outstanding team, especially in the kitchen. It was lots of fun.

Kale salad with roasted butternut squash and pom seeds, and smoked deviled eggs form Dennis. Amazing flavor!!

About nine adults total gathered and ate buffet style, snuggled up in our living room, where Handsome had built us a gorgeous, crackling fire. Everyone who joined us is in a very different life chapter, a mix of hard and beautiful, but we all have been friends for several years and care so much about each other. It was good to catch up in a quiet atmosphere and count our many blessings. Lots of laughter, again. Laughter prevails. Our faces hurt.

Along the way, truly every day this past week, we have felt that glowy warmth of genuine thankfulness. Gratitude for so many huge and tiny blessings. We feel God up close to us and surrounding us, too. He is pressing in, and we press back. Or maybe it’s the other way around?

Guess who can flat foot jump onto a round bale of hay now?

What I know is that it is working, this ongoing effort to improve our perspective a little more each day. Widen our view. Count the blessings that are coming at us like a tidal wave. Love immeasurable and full of hope.

Thousands of prayers for these kids who are growing so fast…xoxo

Plus, it’s finally Christmas lights season!!

Thanks for reading, friends. I hope your Thanksgiving Week was also filled with love and pleasures. I hope you feel miracles brewing again. I would love to hear all about it.

Check back in soon for slightly more analytical thoughts on gratitude, whether it actually has power to change things.

Over and out!

XOXOXOXO

jocelyn’s amazing colorado tiger butter

December 18, 2016

This past week, since writing to you guys about our recent feast on Soul Cake, we have feasted on the glorious stuff even more. Our oldest surprised us with a visit home from Colorado, and now she is home again, back in Colorado. She is at home with herself, really, and with her sweet pup Bridget, but that is a whole other blog post. Anyway, to say that Christmas came early to the Lazy W is quite an understatement.

Today, while the details are fresh, I want to share with you a recipe she taught me this week: Tiger Butter. You just might find it useful for an upcoming holiday party! Then soon, more Soul Cake stories, because my gosh… xoxo

jocelyns-amazing-colorado-tiger-butter-c

Background: The Girl worked a brief stint at a well known candy shop, The Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. While there she learned all kinds of great tricks and secrets about candy making and has been eager to share it all. Most notable to me is how she learned to measure ingredients by weight, not volume. I had read a little about this in Julia Child’s book My Life in France but never really considered the practical differences until Jocelyn stood in front of my Oklahoma stove puzzling out her chocolate-peanut butter ratios. After a few moments she declared with that signature doe-eyed confidence, “We’re just gonna eye-ball it.” Okay! And it turned out so good.

Tiger Butter is a bark-style candy flavored like Reese’s and named for its stripes, which you achieve by dragging a knife through contrasting flavors/colors of molten yumminess. It has precious few ingredients and comes together more easily than I expected. Tiger Butter is so rich that you must nibble it slowly, in tiny cold pieces, so a batch seems to last forever compared to, say, a big heap of chunky oatmeal cookies that can double as a meal for yours truly. According to Joc, and I heartily agree, a mouthful of Tiger Butter requires a chaser of ice cold milk. I would suggest strong dark coffee too, but the combo of high sugar with high caffeine might be… Shaky.

Okay.

What You Need:

2 microwave-safe bowls, one medium and one small (Yes, you could certainly do this stove top instead.)
a shallow freezer-safe dish lined with waxed paper (we used a petite glass one, somewhat smaller than 9 x 13)
about 2 cups your favorite peanut butter (We used just less than half of a 28-ounce jar of Peter Pan smooth. She said crunchy is also delicious if you like added texture.)
1 bag white chocolate chips
1/2 bag your favorite chocolate chips to supplement the white chocolate (I think she chose semi-sweet. This was part of the confident eye-balling in lieu of weighing out the ingredients, so you should do the same, knowing that this chocolate will blend with the peanut butter and white chocolate flavors.)
up to but not necessarily a whole bag of dark chocolate chips (for the top layer)

That is a lot of richness, right? Straight peanut butter and at least two bags of chocolate chips. But to my surprise you need neither butter nor evaporated milk like with pralines, no eggs, etc. Tiger butter is a rich, dense, straight to the point, focused indulgence. A lot like my girl, if you ask me.

Okay.

What You Do:

Line the shallow pan with waxed paper and set aside.
In medium bowl, combine peanut butter, white chocolate chips, and extra chocolate chips (as needed) then cook in the microwave, stirring occasionally, melt some more, get it smooth and shiny. (Joc said the proportions should be approximately 1:1 peanut butter to chocolate, but she also tasted it and adjusted between melting sessions. You can scarcely make this wrong so no worries.)
Pour this pale colored lava into your prepared dish/pan. Admire the sheen and the shimmer. Set aside.
In smaller bowl, melt the dark chocolate to the same glossy gorgeousness.
Dollop this second chocolate onto the pale layer gently, maybe on alternating sides. Think of this step as your chance to be creative. You are staging the origins of your stripes.
Now use either a butter knife or a toothpick or a chopstick (something more delicate than your finger, though you will be tempted) to drag slow, deliberate lines from one dollop to the next, leaving drag marks as you go. Drag all the way across the pan then start again, going in opposing directions. Again, get creative and have fun! Joc said she once drew her name in the chocolate. So somewhere out in the world a stranger has enjoyed handmade chocolate with my daughter’s name frozen in the face of it. If you move in an even, checkerboard pattern your dark chocolate layer can achieve a feathery effect, which is beautiful.
Once you like the look of your creation, place the whole thing in the freezer for a couple of hours. It will harden nicely without changing design at all. Later, if you lift it out by the waxed paper hammock, you can then cut it uniformly with a sharp knife or break it into irregular, craggy shapes. It packs great for gifts or a potluck party or a dessert bar, whatever your plan. Remember a little of this rich treat goes a long way!

That’s it! Some chocolate chips, some peanut butter, your microwave and freezer, and a little time. You will be elbow deep in homemade candy and also have a cool connection to the Rockies and my beautiful firstborn.

Thanks for checking in, friends. I hope your December has been filled with surprises and miracles like ours. I hope you try making your own Tiger Butter! And I hope to see you here again soon. Lots more fun stuff on the horizon.

Be sweet
XOXOXOXO

December is Beautiful, Be Sweet

December 4, 2012

Happy December you awesome people! Did you have a good weekend? Are you even more in the thick of Christmas preparations than last time I asked you? Things at the Lazy W are just as simultaneously hectic and restful as ever. I am hitting a daily stride around here that is deeply satisfying, so much so that maybe one day I should try to write it. It’s a thrilling awareness.

Anyway.

As our seasonal decorations evolve from autumnal to sparkly, and as we accumulate special gifts for loved ones and indulgent desserts and appetizers for all of the holiday parties headed our way, I am happy to have a moment of pause. This year I am thinking of the Christian reasons to celebrate, of course, but also of the pagan traditions that have carried over into modern culture. Maybe it’s Oklahoma’s changing weather patterns that have me feeling all contemplative… Or maybe it’s the fact that this year I have more friends than ever who don’t particularly subscribe to a rigid Christian label. Or maybe it’s that in two days I will trepidatiously get my first spray tan thanks to a bottom-dollar coupon on Living Social I bought a thousand years ago. Whatever the cause, I am simmering in thoughtfulness about why we do the wintry-Christmassy things we do.

I don’t have too giant of a message with this you guys, only a little reminder and encouragement to go ahead and celebrate things your way, according to your own heart. Pull out all the stops! But don’t waste precious time and energy criticizing how others celebrate. Or how they don’t. The things we do are supposed to be joyful and loving, life-affirming acts, not critical and obligatory and demeaning to others. Or to yourself. And certainly, traditions are at their best when they are upheld deliberately and lovingly. Don’t you agree?

“We have just enough religion to make us hate,

but not enough to make us love one another.”

~Johnathon Swift

So if you have a friend or neighbor who decorates a tree but doesn’t use an Advent wreath or nativity scene, relax. There is still enough Christmas cheer for everyone. And if you are one of those sweet souls who cringes at this time of year because of the inevitable religious guilt trips, despair not. True Love isn’t about that. Go ahead and keep your personal winter traditions, whatever they are. Let them bind you to your past and comfort you for your present. And everyone come to the lazy W for some hot chocolate by the fire! If this winds ever dies down we will be open for bonfiring business. And Christmas caroling. Because these are some of my traditions.

Live lovingly and

Wish Me Luck with my Spray Tan!

xoxoxoxo

Easter Past and Present

April 7, 2012

One of the happiest Sundays of the year is just a couple of days away… Happy Easter you guys! How do you celebrate? Our traditions are kind of a mash up of my Catholic heritage and Handsome’s straight line Bible upbringing. From my childhood, I remember a version of Seder meals, palm fronds burned into ashes for crossing ourselves at Lent’s onset, purple satin, and the weekly, suspenseful countdown culminating in a jubilant Easter Sunday service. I remember lots of white flowers always and a huge, towering wooden cross.

Handsome’s heritage is based on passionate preaching. Beautiful, strict adherence to the gospel and sincere wonderment at the prophecies that led up to Christ’s birth, death, and resurrection. They have used the same tall cross wrapped in white satin for years. They also fill the church with white flowers which are always sent home for in-laws, friends, and far flung loved ones.

Did you notice the satin and flowers? Our lives before marriage are filled with uncanny connections like this. And for the handful of dogma differences between the faiths, both of our incredible families in their own ways lay out delicious feasts and shower the kids in candy, egg hunts, frills, and love.

In our marriage, then, we have learned to do a lot of blending, and Easter-time is when these hybrid practices are most evident. I like to roll out the Jewish remembrances and Old Testament stuff, which he tolerates with a smile. And he really, really, really loves his chocolate Easter bunnies. Like, so much you guys.

Anyway, this Easter without the kiddos we are not dyeing eggs or filling baskets with fluffy pretty things. I think we’ll light a big bonfire here at the farm and cross our fingers that some of the chicken eggs hatch. Some of them are due, after all, and we do tend to get baby chicks ever year on Easter Sunday! One of our roosters named Peep was hatched two Easters ago. I am certain he has sired many chicks by now.

Sunday we will be at church and then with both of our big beautiful families, taking pictures of nieces and nephews, filling up on ham and sugar and love. In the mean time I am so happy to dig through old photos and memories and share a few glimpses of Easter Past…

“Then ye shall say, it is the sacrifice of the Lord’s Passover,

who passed over the houses of the children of Israel in Egypt

when he smote the Egyptians, and delivered our houses.

And the people bowed the head and worshiped.”

~Exodus 12:27

One of our personal traditions has been to cover the front door frame in paper then paint it red,
to symbolize the sacrificial blood required for the Passover.
Of course this is to facilitate the message about Jesus being the ultimate sacrifice.
Here is one of many front door paintings over the years, this time in 2006. xoxo

Look at those sparkling dark brown eyes!
And I just love “good morning” hair on my girls…
Makes me want to snuggle them and inhale their sunshine perfume!
Easter morning is when solemnity ends for us.
The waiting is over because the stone is rolled away!
We are all candy and color and fun, pomp and circumstance!
(Egad! Looks like I was hoping for a resurrection for that poinsettia!)

If springtime is when the earth reawakens, then Easter is when my spirit does. No doubt about it, witnessing so much spontaneous life all around us grows more amazing every year. If seeds can sprout just by sitting on top of damp soil, untended and unwept, then surely Love can spark in even the dimmest relationships. Surely healing can be delivered to withering bodies. Love is what makes this happen, and it is the most powerful force of all. When something is promised to you, however unlikely it seems, trust it. When you have heard that whisper that everything is gonna be alright, then stop railing against the circumstances and just be ready for it.

“And behold, there was a great earthquake:

for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven,

and came and rolled back

the STONE from the door, and sat upon it.”

~Matthew 28:2

Happy girl in white lace gloves at Grandma and Grandpa’s house for a big cousins egg hunt! 2006
She has downright infectious laughter and can squeeze the air out you with one of her famous hugs!

They wore their dresses and bonnets all day long!

Our first Easter at the farm, 2008.
Our house looked so different before the fire that happened a few months later!
This pretty girl is my baby offering a very solemn Bible reading
before our traditional sader meal of grape juice and unleavened bread.
We usually do this on Good Friday.

Another door painting for Passover. Look how much the girls grew!
Over the years they memorized our unique traditions.
If I almost forgot the foot washing, they let me know!
Admittedly that part is pretty nice.

In 2008 we were blessed with a set of adorable pygmy goat twins just in time for Easter.
We packed them up in a basket full of baby blankets and took them to church!
(I resisted the intense urge to dress them in Easter frocks… sufficed with lacy blankets instead.)
There was much baa-ing and giggling during service, and all the kids wanted to hold them.
This is one of the hidden benefits of attending a small church. You can bring your goats if you feel like it.

My beautiful first born. The artist, the feeler, the animal tender.
She watched over those goats all of that very long, happy Sunday
and let Spice (this gray little girl) nap on her whenever she needed it.
I love you baby. xoxoxo You amaze me in so many ways.

Here is my gorgeous little sister Ang with her baby and my little buddy Kenz.
The baby goats were a handful, but they did not lack for attention that Easter!

So maybe your Easter traditions are steeped in faith and ceremony. Or maybe they are lovely pastel shades of chocolate and Pagan (wink-wink, rib-rib, totally kidding). Better yet, maybe your customs are a perfectly American blend of the two. However you celebrate this weekend, the Lazy W wishes you and yours lots of love, lots of joy, and lots of deep refreshment. The best kind, the kind that lasts and lasts.

“But whosoever drinketh of the water
that I shall give him shall never thirst;
but the water that I shall give him
shall be in him a WELL
of water springing up into everlasting life.”
~John 4:14

Celebrating New Life is Good.

Believing in Impossible Miracles is Better.

Happy Easter You Guys!

xoxoxo

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