Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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unbridled joy and easy gratitude

November 22, 2015

Ahhh November, the month of thankfulness. The season of expressing gratitude and counting our blessings, of celebrating the gifts in our life.

Over these past few years I have shared with you guys stuff I’ve learned (reluctantly at times) about the muscles of gratitude, about the importance of showing our thankfulness even when we aren’t really feeling it and about how that discipline can get you to a brighter place. I believe deep down in my bones that the purposeful, conscious act of choosing joy is vital to our temporary well-being and infinitely beneficial to our long-term spiritual health. I also believe that your choice to see the good in life becomes your pulse, gradually, and that over time you cannot help but feel drawn to the brightest of everything and even learn to overlook the dark. So often in life, after all, we are clouded by worry or surrounded by grief and joy does not come naturally.

autumn ivy

And then sometimes joy comes very naturally.

Sometimes life surprises us with wave after wave of unbridled joy. Do you ever feel so happy and giddy that you look around to see if anyone else is feeling it, too? Almost like you need someone else to be similarly caught up in your elation in order for it to be real, or for you to feel okay about it? Especially when huge oceans of grief seem to be swallowing the globe, or swallowing our friends, it can feel self-indulgent to just be really happy about life.

Sometimes you just feel so great that you simply want to share it.

Things are looking up for us, friends. In three or four million different ways. Handsome and I still have normal problems like everybody else, and we always will. Some of them are pretty serious, actually. But we have better perspective than ever. The seasons of grief and waiting have taught us all those important lessons about gratitude and humility, upward gaze and steady breath. Now the unbridled joy is building strength. I find myself grinning for no reason at all. For every reason. At this point, giving up on those yet unanswered prayers would be so ridiculous. We have more evidence than ever that miracles are real. That faith counts. That grateful hearts are receptive to the best gifts.

frosty roses

frosty pots

We woke up to a beautiful, magical, frosty farm. We have in front of us just as much play as work. Our blessings are easy to count. Thanksgiving week at the Lazy W is starting with a big swell of energy and Love, and we want to share it.

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions.
The more you express gratitude for what you have,
the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.”
~Zig Ziglar
XOXOXOXO

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Filed Under: faith, gratitude, miracles, thinky stuffTagged: Thanksgiving

what a wonderful world, senses inventory

October 11, 2015

A little Senses Inventory to tiptoe into this spectacular, leisurely Sunday. Lots of texture to experience. And let’s add cravings to the mix, okay? As always you are warmly invited to add your own inventory in comments… xoxo

See: Feathery, scrappy hula-hoop dream catcher accepting all the sun and maybe some dreams too. Wedding chandelier, also made from scraps and a hula hoop, like a cotton jelly fish in the breeze. It’s hanging from a red bud tree which is on her last leg and covered in blue-green scales. Still beautiful. A grove of Oak trees making willing trades of their waxy green for crispy browns and orange. Yellow wildflowers growing in the shade, where the sand is being slowly overtaken by grass. Thank goodness. Garden gate dressed in skimpy, sexy morning glory vines. Nature’s lingerie. Rusted milk cans bursting with bouquets of garden tools. So many rakes, spades, and poles. Where did they all come from? Sun streaming in with vibrating energy from behind us, pink and gold and fierce this morning. Floods of it washing over the pasture to our right, setting that miniature prairie on fire. Cold fire pit below the deck where we’re sitting. Cedar benches circling it like a little Stonehenge. Unlit strings of lights above us. Fruit trees to our left, thinner now and bronzing. Feathery willow tree downhill, keeping watch over the pond. Almost yellow.

"I hope that all your dreams come true; just remember that nightmares are dreams too."
“I hope that all your dreams come true; just remember that nightmares are dreams too.”

Hear: Chorus of angry crows above the forest. Blue jay squawking, other birds warbling gently, a single woodpecker. Interstate noise in the distance, once again easy to imagine it’s the ocean. Klaus scampering loud and clumsy across the wooden deck, giving chase to Natasha. Twigs cracking. Acorns pinging on the smokehouse’s tin roof.

Smell: Coffee, less sweet today, finally.  Faintest bit of chlorine. My own lotion and deodorant. Not much else. There’s an unusual cleanness to the air today, crisp but empty of even wood smoke. Weird. Nice though.

Taste: Only my coffee. The chewiness of the cream reminds me of New Orleans.

Touch: Cool breeze, gentle like breath on my skin. Especially nice on my neck and bare shoulders. Warm coffee mug in my left hand, skinny ink pen in my right. Mesh lawn chair beneath me, paper thin rubber flip flops riddled with craters and sticker scars. Now a wash of warmth on the back of my neck.

Think: If instead of living here I were to just visit this place, maybe stay for the weekend with a stack of books and empty spirals, a pair of running shoes and yoga mat, I would see it as a perfect retreat. I would wonder how this place exists and never want to leave, would want to absorb every detail at every time of day and never step inside. If I were a visitor my eyes might not see work undone or projects to schedule, manure to scoop, gardens to clean. My eyes might see it as beautifully and lovingly as I do at this moment. How much time am I wasting in life? Since autumn is historically when our life tends to change in big ways, October is more of a New Year marker than January. So I sit here thinking how different life is now compared to last October. And how will things have changed by October 2016? What dreams will have been pursued, what miracles will we have in the bank? What burdens will be lifted, or traded for new ones, because we will be stronger then?

Feel: Settled. Feeling settled and energized both physically and emotionally. Optimistic way beyond the outer affirmations kind of optimism. Feeling truly excited for the challenges and opportunities right around the corner. Trembling with happiness for my people.

Crave: I crave a fragrant, slow burning bonfire, deep laughter, and meaningful conversation. Lingering affection. Easy, soaking-into-your-bones kind of stuff. Craving blocks of time to write. More than blogging. Really writing. Craving soup and watermelon too.

Okay friends, thank you so much for joining me today.

Have yourself a really wonderful Sunday.

“They’re really saying I love you…”
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: daily life, gratitude, seasons, Senses Inventory, thinky stuff

motivation monday, short & sweet

August 24, 2015

This morning’s post will be short and sweet, friends. Already since Handsome left for the Commish I have had the most wonderful couple of hours of refilling my tank with Love (thanks for the phone call Marci!) and knocking out a few piles of organizing stuff to get the week started. Now I am on to the last bit of morning work and then a tempo run on my new treadmill! Yay!! So excited about this!!

get to work out graphic

I am happy because I get to work out. Exercising hard just makes the day better. It sharpens my mind; it energizes my body; and as a result the remaining hours are so much more productive. As I lace up I feel super, truly, deeply grateful for the freedom and the health to do this.

Happy Monday everyone! I will check in later today with a more detailed post, but for now I hope your new week is off to a beautiful start. Take care of yourself.

XOXOXOXO

 

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Filed Under: daily life, gratitude, motivation monday, running

every day magic

February 26, 2015

I am not a fan of top hat magic, the kind that disappears women or reappears bunnies and doves. I really could not care less about from whence silk scarves come or whether you can guess which card I picked. I do know one weird illusion that claims to rub a quarter into my forearm. Unfortunately I laugh so hard from nervousness that every attempt gets ruined anyway.

But real magic? The kind of magic that lights up your eyes and adds sparkle and heat to the air? I love that. I am a sucker for real, pulsing, powerful magic. And it’s all around me.

sugar skull

I sense magic at dawn when the sky above the bachelors’ field changes from inky black with diamond stars to fiery, ridiculous shades of orange and purple. So much color some days it seizes up my throat and tightens my chest. A pleasure-pain. The roosters crowing can be magical, heralding another day I get to live on these strange and beautiful nine acres. Feeding the buffalo with his square, wet leathery nose and his poofy Afro and horns, cuddling and scruffing him as he reaches high for that bucket of sweet grain, yep, that’s magic. Releasing the frantic chickens to go roam free and then collecting their eggs, up to eleven per day lately, with those hard shells of greens and blues, rich mahogany brown and white, this is a gift and a bit of nutritional magic for me. Kissing Meh with his sweet, fuzzy little motherless lips, trading butterfly eyelashes with him, pure magic.

??????????

Every single time a seed germinates and sprouts, and then again when it grows tall and bursts out with one pair of tiny leaves after another, each of these stages is its own magic. When that seed becomes food that we eat, and then bolts and flowers and produces new seeds all over again, magic.

small crops

 

We’re about to be drenched in this, you know. Winter doesn’t stand a chance. Actually winter is magical, too. It draws us close, quiets us, urges us to shun lists and busyness and just be. Winter’s magic is togetherness and affection, inner warmth despite the cold outside.

xoxo
xoxo

Spending time with the horses and learning to speak their language has been an unexpected dose of magic lately. Feeling such a massive animal respond to the smallest squeeze of my thighs or the gentlest tug of reins is like nothing else. And the fact that I am on this adventure with my firstborn, this doe eyed young woman who was so recently my doe eyed baby, this is a magic for which I barely have words.

Maybe you frown on using the word magic in the realm of prayer, and that’s understandable because the connotation is historically so different, but to me it’s all the same. The amazing power of an intimate communication with my Creator, the results-getting influence of just talking to Him and asking for help and inspiration, guidance and then outright miracles, this is a magic without which I would really hate to live. This is a magic that has charmed my life and cracked open my imagination.

always face the light
always face the light

Magic can be found in the gleam of wood floors when the afternoon sun pours through that window and also in the sparkle of disco ball reflections on that ceiling. Magic is in the carpet on our stairs that we chose after the house fire, the same stairs the parrot sings in and climbs when he misses us. Magic is in the upright piano in our dining room that, although it is rarely played now, reminds me of my grandparents and how good childhood was. The piano also reminds me of Handsome’s Mom and the ache he must constantly feel without her. This remembrance is painful but important magic. I see magic in the estate sale black and white toille curtains I nailed up clumsily to flank our kitchen door, which leads to the south yard, where so many friends have gathered with us over these seven years.

lights

Magic is in the smell of chicken roasting in the oven together with lemon, garlic, and fresh sage. Everyone likes the magic of chocolate chip cookies, soft and steaming, crispy on the edges, begging for cold milk. Magic is pasta night once every week when each of us gets exactly the sauce he or she likes best. Magic is perfect coffee together every single morning, even if it means a special drive to the truck stop late at night after a long road trip. Magic is homemade pizza when we feel like it and Little Caesar’s when we don’t. Magic is cooking twice as much food as we need and freezing the extras so our girl always has homemade meals to take with her. Even bigger, bolder magic is cooking with her and having her sit with us to eat.

crabmeat alfredo valentines day 2015

Magic is watching a scary movie, knowing full well that Handsome will be in covert attack mode for the next three days, seeking after and relishing every blood curdling scream I offer. And me loving every second of it. Then it’s nothing short of magic when he gets up and goes to work day after day, week after week, all these years, despite the opposition, despite the imbalances in government, despite the lies and deceit and people who would be so thrilled for him to throw in the towel. Magic is in how much he loves and protects me, no matter how depleted he is.

I absolutely love the hours between chores and housework and then the evening, that little slice of afternoon when I am free to play in the garden or write or, most often, go for a long run. It’s a magical time of day for me. Running itself is a dose of magic for my mind as well as my body. I had to experience this for myself to believe it, but something bizarre really does happen to you in each stage of a long run, and it’s a gift. It’s worth exploring.

running, pile on the miles, lazy w, marathon training, run eat repeat

Magic is in the comfort of routine and the excitement of adventure. It’s in every part of our calendar, our friends and family, my book club, the thrumming life building up for the next generation. Magic is in legacy and tradition, dreams and departures.

Magic is the feel of paper and the smell of fresh laundry. The grumble of a strong car engine and the relief of not running out of gas when you’re late. Magic is found when your husband fixes your washing machine himself and also does the taxes.

Magic is in the sunset, too, brilliant over the llama field and the valley below it but somehow glowing against the hilltop bachelors’ field where we saw the sun rise this morning. More jaw-dropping color, more pleasure-pain from the kind of beauty we could never duplicate. Magic is in every wild heron that visits our pond and in the love we have found for Duck Duck, the wild goose who is now part of our farm-ily. Magic is in the way Duck Duck insists on being touched once on the back before allowing us to usher him to bed.

But he's so grown up now!
But he’s so grown up now!

And then magic is in wrapping up the farm at the end of a long day, setting coffee to brew at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow, clicking off the lights, locking the doors, kissing the parrot, ascending those carpeted stairs. Some of my very favorite magic is sliding between our silky soft, clean sheets and collapsing on our best pillows, braiding together physically to reinforce our silent unions. Magic is how we feel stronger instead of weaker, better instead of worse, night after night.

And then the impossibly beautiful, magical sunrise again.

Now tell me something about your magic.

XOXOXOXO

Mama Kat invited us to write about magic this week. Please visit some of the other writers too! And thank you so much for stopping here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: 1000gifts, daily life, gratitude, Mama KatTagged: magic

a wonderful, unremarkable day

December 23, 2014

Yesterday was so fun in a patchwork-Christmas kind of way. I was busy from the minute I woke up to the minute we crashed in bed (I fell asleep with my red kimono still on, I was so tired). Monday was filled with sewing projects, animal silliness, fresh high-vitamin food and also frosted sugar cookies, scarlet red poinsettias, and two of the people I love most in this world. It was an unremarkable day by the calendar, but it was absolutely thrumming with Love. And already I can see that today is, too.

It started early. While sitting at my sewing machine in its temporary dining-room spot, I heard a harsh tapping on glass. A cute little white chicken we named KFC was perched on a milk can in the front flower bed, staring into the picture window there, tapping her beak on the glass. I had already fed everyone. So much, in fact. I  swear, the more I feed the animals the more they expect to eat. It’s ridiculous.

KFC the chicken trying to pressure me into giving out more treats.
KFC the chicken trying to pressure me into giving out more treats.

Then a little while later I heard the same tapping and discovered that KFC had relinquished her window post to this hen we have named Red Dot. (So named because she is red and has a dot on her face.) Red Dot stared at me with the most disgruntled expression a chicken can possibly have.

red hen in window

The big mood lifter for everyone yesterday was the return of sunshine. For more than three weeks Oklahoma has been wrapped in fog, dark clouds, and just a flannelly cocoon of winter weather. We are not built for this much darkness! I really don’t know how people in the Pacific Northwest cope with it. So yesterday we all felt refreshed just seeing the sun. I went for a quick little 3 mile run wearing only a light jacket, and I had thoughts like better get the pool opened up soon!

Even with cool temperatures, feeling sunshine on our faces and arms was pure luxury.
Even with cool temperatures, feeling sunshine on our faces and arms was pure luxury.

Even the animals were in high spirits, as if the window-tapping chicken story wasn’t enough to convince you. Our oldest was home for most of the day and did some fun ground work with Dusty, her horse. And by ground work I mean they practiced climbing hills and played gone-gone peekaboo.

These two. xoxo
These two. xoxo

It was a cookie-making night, and I had so much fun. I even stopped counting how many carbs were sneaking into my grateful mouth, that’s how much fun it was! Martha Stewart’s Royal Icing recipe, by the way, is perfect. Perfect, easy, and stunningly uncomplicated for her. It gives a nice glossy shell and is thick. My only complaint about last night’s cookie extravaganza was the conspicuous absence of red food coloring. Why? Why is there never any red? In twenty years of having my own kitchen, I have owned red food coloring maybe three times. It’s mystifying. Who is taking it? The chickens?

Bet royal icing: one cup powdered sugar, one egg white, few drops lemon juice, food coloring. BAM. Perfect.
Best royal icing: one cup powdered sugar, one egg white, few drops lemon juice, food coloring. BAM. Perfect.

How is your week of Christmas going? I hope your heart is peaceful. I hope your home is warm with joy. I hope your expectations are set more on Love and surprises than on purchases. I really hope you’re not counting calories… just pleasures and memories and moments.

Thanks for sharing a few minutes with me! Happy Christmas Tuesday, friends. I’m off for seven miles and some Christmas caroling with the parrot.

“He who has not Christmas in his heart
will never find it under a tree.”
~Roy L. Smith
XOXOXOXO

 

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Filed Under: 1000gifts, animals, Christmas, daily life, gratitude, memories

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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