Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

will I ever blog again & it’s fine

Stuff is crazy, man. Life is full to bursting, in the coolest and scariest ways, and by that I mean only the very best, most nourishing and fulfilling ways. Trust and gratitude, gratitude and trust. It’ll all be fine.

Day after day I have ideas of things that need writing. Most days I sketch them in the nearest spiral notebook and sometimes jam out a few sentences on Facebook, but the full depth and breadth and height of life will never be captured this way.

klaus kale shirt happy C

Even when I want to sit and spend the sunrise hours writing, it’s really time to feed the animals, play fetch with Klaus, drink my last cup of quite strong perfect coffee, make the beds (ours is a two-bedroom marriage now, it’s cool like being bi-coastal but together), start some laundry, scoop some manure into the compost, and BAM it’s finally time to lace up and run some miles. Preferably before my stomach starts growling obscenely and I cave and eat breakfast first. Fasted miles are my favorite.

Also, am I losing weight? Getting speedier? Slimming down or not? Do people care, should I blog about that journey? I don’t know.

It’s fine.

This morning I ran at the farm. Our sandy hills are doing their very best to dry out from all the glorious early spring rain, but they are still quite slick and mushy. Lost in thought, about halfway through mile three, my toe caught a slick tree root and somehow I fell up in the air instead of straight down to the ground. My mind commanded to my body, “Go limp! Go limp!” and my body obeyed. Not only did I go limp; I managed, at the apex of this weird tumble, to twist myself so that in a slow-motion moment I landed on my cush posterior, facing the sky. I just laid there looking at the pulsing blue, relaxed because I luckily had the presence of mind, mid-twist, to hit pause on my Garmin. Pace records are suddenly very important to me. Apparently as important as not crashing my porcelain teeth on a slab of red rock. Or this steel pipe gate pictured below. Anyway it was a very Matrix-James Bond moment for me, and the only damage was some damp red earth scuffing my clean white compression socks. My posterior is unharmed, as are my porcelain front teeth, etcetera.

forest gate C

Then midday, my friend Amber visited the farm for the first time, and we had the best real conversation. In less than an hour we dove deep and swam easily through topics like sex education for young women, honesty and transparency in the coming of age, marriage and how men apologize differently than women, motherhood, the importance of treasuring the exact chapter you’re in, how beautiful mundanity can be, smoking meats, and much more. I met Amber through beekeeping and learned that she practically lives around the corner from our farm, which happens so rarely I get quite excited when it does. I have the most wonderful feeling that she and I will be spending more happy time together this spring and summer.

My dog is in love with her. Awkwardly, I am afraid.

With what remains of today I plan to finish a small pile of ironing, sew one apron, and get a pork tenderloin started for a late supper. Then the chicken coop gets a serious cleaning and fresh supply of nesting straw and the middle field gets as many scrapes from my manure shovel as time will allow. More friends are visiting this afternoon, and I am pretty happy about that.

klaus cuddle sky C

The thing is, really, it’s fine. All those thoughts that swirl and pester us, the What-If needles, all the things that keep our hearts frothed up, they are under control. Let’s go ahead and relax. Enjoy the day whether it’s busy or mundane. Love your people. Say your prayers. Trust God with the stuff you cannot (and should not) control.

Blogging again soon, maybe. After Klaus is done snuggling my feet.

It’s better than fine. It’s perfect.
XOXOXOXO

 

 

friday 5 at the farm: snapshots of this week

Hello, happy first Friday of the brand new year! This weekend on which we are about thrust ourselves is already much appreciated. And waking up to a thick, glittering snow quilt certainly makes the single digit temps more bearable. As soon as the sun comes up, Klaus and I will be outside, making tracks and checking on animals, breaking ice and having fun. Maybe we’ll see how adept his big paws are at building snow men? At least he should be able to swish a pretty great looking snow angel. If that happens, I’ll post it to Instagram for sure.

To kickoff Friday 5 at the Farm for 2016, here are five photos from this past week. They are just snapshots languishing on my cell phone but actually represent some great memories.

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#1. Engagement Party! A couple of months ago, our friends Tami and Jason flew to Italy for a romantic getaway. While there, Jason surprised Tami with a wedding proposal! They were in Venice, on a traditional gondola, and he was nervous and not even sure she’d say yes. They are madly in love of course, but marriage had not been on the table, so to say the least she really was shocked. I loved watching them as they recounted that memory. It is one of the best, most romantic stories I have ever heard, and it’s real.

Handsome and I were happy to attend their recent engagement party and are so happy for them! This photo is blurry, but can you see the giant decorative “diamond rings” hanging from the light fixture? The party was a lot of fun, the hostess so sweet and gracious. We met lots of new friends and had a great time. Nothing quite like marinating in an atmosphere of love and romance.

I do sort of regret not eating one of these magical looking cupcakes.

f5-engagement-cupcakes-c

#2. A Man & his Dog & my Lost Redbud The photo below is my strong, hard-working guy and his faithful assistant working at our bonfire pit. The tree stump there by the metal birdcage was a mostly rotted Redbud tree, which we chopped down and burned just as year changed. We made this task a bit ceremonious, which helped because I was sad to lose this beautiful thing. I love Redbuds in general (our state tree), but this particular one just kept hanging on, year after year. It was where I had hung that cotton wedding chandelier, it was an anchor for a string of twinkle lights, and even in its decline it bloomed profusely every spring. It was just special, and I was sad to see it go.

You might also like to know that anytime Handsome is working outside or (especially!) when he is using our black pickup truck, Klaus wants… no, NEEDS… to participate. This big dog knows the words “truck” and “chores” and has no fear as long as his Daddy is in the lead. It makes me deeply happy to watch them together.

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#3. Exhausted Lusty Pup Who Thinks He is Still Tiny Following our traditional first bonfire of the year with friends, Klaus was completely spent. Some of our friends had brought their dog to the party, a pup named Champ, and he and Klaus became fast friends, sort of. They spent several hours in feverish chasing and wrestling, nervous dominance/romantic attempts, and a pitiful, whining separation when the chaos became too much for us humans. Anyway. Late that evening after the farm was empty of beloved fire-watchers and marshmallow roasters, Klaus pinned me on this couch. He laid exactly on my shoulder and belly, stretched out along my legs, and passed out cold. He snored contentedly. I was helpless and in heaven.

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#4. Afternoon Sunlight Magic & the View from my Kitchen I adore this exact vantage, from which I see so many things I love, at this time of day especially. It’s right around the moments the sun begins to surrender, when it slants across from the south and hits a disco ball perched on our dining room table. Everything glows and sparkles for a little while. Klaus is usually asleep now, because he’s been playing so hard and doing his dog chores (very important stuff). I am showered (finally) and cooking dinner. Chances are good that my guy is about to text that he’s coming home. Afternoon is blending into evening at the farm, and when it’s too cold to walk outside and see the sunset, this is a beautiful consolation.

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#5. Greek Meal I Cannot Stop Craving. This past Monday evening after a surprisingly difficult and truly exhilarating aerial yoga class with friends, we all stopped at a nearby Greek restaurant for a nice, late supper. So European of us, right? I was quite hungry, having made a point to arrive at the “silks” on a perfectly empty stomach. You guys, this meal was amazing. I ordered it expecting that a traditional Greek garden salad (with olives, feta, cucumbers, etcetera) would be topped with grilled chicken strips. What a treat to instead see it crowned with this big scoop of saffron chicken salad! It also had some kind of tangy, creamy sauce I forgot to identify, and every detail of it was so good. The small, warm pita triangles and layer of fresh, cold tabbouleh. Yyeesss. More of this please. If I do sign up for weekly aerial yoga classes, this salad could make regular appearances in my life.

f5-greek-salad-c

 

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Okay, thanks so much for touching base at the digital Lazy W! We are making slow but steady progress on new market gardening projects, so stay tuned for details on that. I am beyond excited.

A new Marathon Monday post is coming too, about the benefits of training for a race but not running it.

Happy, cozy, loving weekend to you! Enjoy the snow, Oklahoma! Carpe the diems.

“Exhaust the little moment. Soon it dies.
And be it gash or gold it will not come 
Again in this identical disguise.”
~Gwendolyn Brooks
XOXOXOXO

friday 5 at the farm: random updates

Hello, and happy November! We are on the verge of the first weekend of a brand new month. How are you spending it? Around here we have been waist deep in another round of farm improvements ranging from interior paint and clutter management to relocated fences and garden editing. The to-do list seems to regenerate overnight, growing longer and more urgent all the time, but so do the rewards. The fruits of our two-person labor are more luscious and nourishing all the time. The Lazy W feels more and more like ours every season.  

moody-sky-novemebr-2016

How about a quick and random update before the sun comes up?

  1. Shoulder Chicken is growing her feathers again. I am so happy about this, because she has a beautiful soul and deserves to have the outer beauty to match. Also, one day this week she bolted out of the chicken coop to sit calmly next to Klaus, who (much to my absolute shock) sat calmly next to her. They both just looked at me, him giant and hulking, terrified of gazing downward, and her microscopic next to that big dog, yet afraid of nothing. I scolded her gently, to which she cocked her pretty head and scampered back inside the coop yard. Silly chicken. Klaus was visibly relieved to have the temptation removed and also overly proud of himself for not accidentally murdering anyone in that moment.
  2. We are due for a winter stock up of hay for the horses, and they are letting me know. Last night Chanta nibbled my ponytail until he fell asleep on the back of my neck. Should I take this as a comment on the abundance of my split ends?
    chanta-ponytail-bites
  3. Moody interiors are my favorite lately. I have been organizing books and rearranging artwork downstairs and kind of groove the interim feel of everything propped against the walls or stacked in cozy piles on the couch. The vibe is definitely “mysterious elegant French Quarter book store.” It begs you to brew some dark coffee, sit among the pillows, and write. 
  4. The gardens are cleaned up and ready for fall plants, but it just does not feel like fall yet. So I have waited not just all of September but also all of October and not added so much as a single pansy to our dirt. What remains is still fluffy and colorful (all hail lantana!!); but I do crave some autumnal details. One of my tasks today is to buy some little treasures to go with my one container of ornamental cabbages, a hostess gift from our friend Ashley. 
  5. The Apartment is once again serving well as the sewing room! I have my sewing and embroidery machines dusted off and humming, and a pile of fabric is washed and pressed and ready to be transformed into fun new garments or aprons. If you try hard enough you can find a “shop” page here on this blog, but it’s vacant so far. As I finish more products not spoken for I will work on making that easier to navigate and let you know. These textiles make really nice gifts!
    apron

Lots more is happening, including plenty of interesting stuff at the Commish and in the beekeeping world, also I might have strep throat?? but those things deserve their own posts. And anyway the sun is up now, time to get going. I wish you the most beautiful Friday and a happy, productive, or restful first weekend of the new month… Whatever you most need it to be!

“It’s time to start living the life you’ve imagined.”
~Henry James
XOXOXO

 

 

how to remember the why of all this work

The moon is waning now, reduced to a perfect gleaming quarter this morning. During Hot Tub Summit just before daybreak it reflected on the hot wiggling surface of the water as thick and brilliant as one of my Grandma’s diamond stud earrings. Bird chorus grew insistent, as it always does, the geese marched uphill from the pond toward the watermelon graveyard, and we started filling the day with laughter and good intentions. 

Mornings here are dewy, lush, and colorful. They are an entrancing time, just like evenings. With a small effort I can forget all the work that needs doing. The pinks and purples of these transition hours seduce me into that old belief that farm life is idyllic and easy. 

volunteer sunflowers between the barn and the front field
volunteer sunflowers between the barn and the front field

But soon the dawn surrenders to early morning which burns off the dew. The animals are hungry and each one believes he or she is the only needful thing here. Our late August sun grows suddenly harsh, pointing less to the velvety lawn and more to the sticker patches out front. My fiesta-confetti zinnias are growing weary, mildewed and crisp, but still begging for one more week in the garden. I think towards the abundant heaps of spicy basil and smile inwardly, pressing hope hard against the spider mites that have ravaged my tomatoes.

Don’t forget to collect those ripe eggplants today. And work on the compost heap before things get out of control. The horses really need their hooves done. Check on the bees. Fill the chicken waters. Add mulch to the shade garden.

I keep to-do lists like a crazy person, intermingled with my calendar and loosely scribbled diary. Sometimes it all helps; other times the lists only remind me how terribly short I fall. 

So I also keep pleasure lists. Sensory Inventories to soak up all the spiritual profit of this unusual and beautiful life. Whether I am doing it right or not, who knows. I often wish I had a full-spectrum mentor here to lead me. But at least along the way I am taking stock of the why of all this work.

The chickens eat the kitchen scraps and return to us fresh, heavy, pastel eggs. The horses and geese love watermelon as much as I do, and that greedy crunch-slurp gives me the same feeling I once enjoyed just watching my children play. Here, we get to exercise old lessons from our grandparents, trying things they tried, understanding suddenly the craving for clean floors and unbothered cows. Siestas in the hot months are both luxurious and absolutely necessary. The sun and the moon rise and fall in the most beautiful arcs, dragging along clouds and stars in quiet patterns that I had never noticed before. The music of rain on the metal barn roof. Bonfire perfume. The hum of bees and the exciting flight patterns of bats and dragonflies. Turtles sunning themselves at the pond and fat toads hiding in the dusty shadows of the garden shed. Venomous snakes beneath the pine needles, plus the stunning effectiveness of a baby llama to ward off wild boars. Deer who visit from the forest, lifting themselves effortlessly over the fence, white tails upturned and liquid black eyes surveying it all. That deep burst of optimism when seeds sprout easily or chicks hatch without our help. Loved ones who visit us and say they can breathe deeply here, peacefully, strangers who become friends on these nine acres. Romance that is sparked over and over again in ever-changing ways. Brokenness and healing, depleting labor and unexpected satisfaction, mentally and physically. 

If I ever lose my memories or if someone ever stumbles on these coffee-stained pleasure lists, the reason for all of our work should be clear: Even when we fail, it is all so amazing.

XOXOXOXO

friday 5 at the farm: things I heard this week

It’s been quite a week here at the dirt-and-hooves W. Handsome has been nursing an injury and doing his Commish work from home. I have been trying to stay caught up on things while not neglecting him. The gardens are changing seasons. And the animals are really enjoying the glorious weather. For Friday 5 at the Farm, how about a handful of things I have heard this week?

potting bench

  1. Llama Sneeze: On Tuesday while distributing protein pellets to the buff (on top of his free-choice hay) I leaned in for some face snuggles with Meh and caught, instead, a tiny, squeaky little sneeze. Right in the general direction of my forehead. Have you ever heard a baby llama sneeze? It’s not awful. Plus, he has lately been instigating spitting fights with his far beefier pasture mate. More on that soon.
  2. Parrot Playing Babysitter: Klaus is an enthusiastic romper of all farm-ily members, including Bobby Pacino the macaw, and sometimes our feathered boy has had just about enough, even from the safety of his outdoor cage. I was working in the nearby flower bed one morning and heard Pacino say firmly, definitely mimicking my own Mama voice, “No No! That’s a No No, okay?” The best part of this story is that the puppy obeyed the parrot. He sat demurely on the sidewalk and twisted his head and waited for further instruction. I went back to my garden tasks and left the parenting to the bird.
  3. V-8 with Glass-packs: We are selling the Jeep (aka Shakira) and have bought a little mid-century beauty for me to drive. She has a nice, strong, smooth engine that growls a little. Also not awful.
  4. Running Team W Expands: Around the time of my recent half marathon in Lawton, Handsome secretly ordered himself a pair of running shoes. This week they arrived in the mail. Then he got the green light from his doctor and told me he is ready to start running!! So hearing that fun news is just cool. Cool cool cool. So exciting! Now I am researching what races might offer discounts to married couples or people who practice anthropomorphism to a scary degree. Ideas?
  5. Sirens but no Alarm: Oklahoma is hot and dry this week, unseasonably so for October, and we have been seeing lots of grass fires. So we hear lots of fire truck sirens. Not good. Thankfully, none of them have been driving to our farm. This is a big deal emotionally because it was during this season seven years ago that we had that really scary house fire. In years since our area has been scourged with wildfires, too. So stuff like this triggers me. I’m sorry for those folks dealing with damage and simultaneously very grateful it’s not us this time.
He is getting so big. All the animals are cautious of him now. He still romps like a baby though...xoxo
He is getting so big. All the animals are cautious of him now. He still romps like a baby though…xoxo
louise buffing
Handsome showed me the ropes of car sanding and buffing before he laid a clear coat on my cute little treasure.

Okay, there you have it. Five things I have heard that made this week special. What have you heard?

Carpe Diem!
XOXOXOXO