Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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a private moment filled with reminders

July 22, 2017

At the park where I ran this morning is an open-air, concrete pavilion with several large caged fans mounted at the ceiling, all pointed down to the floor at different angles. I was stopped for a drink of water at a brick building about twenty feet away.

A young dad was standing inside that pavilion, holding his young son up in the air, facing away from him, the dad’s arms wrapped around his little boy’s slender, stiffened legs, chunky sneakers hitting his dad mid-torso. The boy’s arms, also stiff, were glued to his own torso. His blonde head was tilted back, and he was screaming into the fan, at high volume and with lots of gusto:

“III LLLOOOOOVVVEE YYOOOOOOUUUUU DDAAAAADDD!!!”

Over and over again.

Just like we all did to oscillating fans when we were kids. But it was an extra big fan. Extra loud.

So many times.

The dad just held him there, a blonde headed little torch of energy, beaming happiness. The boy screamed I love you dad at least a dozen times while I stood there drinking water and stretching, spying on their private moment in public.

Mom, baby me, and Dad, circa 1974.

This is what I wanted to tell you today:

Go for a run if you can and love your kids steady and hold them up really strong and love your dad, too.

Over and over again.

XOXOXOXO

 

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Filed Under: 1000gifts, daily life, family, love, running, thinky stuff

sweet sixteen, midweek check in

July 19, 2017

My husband and I are quite talented at Staycation-ing. Or is it called Staying-Cation? Whichever, we are so good at doing this thing where you schedule time “off” but do not travel. You just stay home (mostly) and do and eat what you want (mostly) and luxuriate in the fruits of your hard earned nest feathering labors from the previous several months.

We tend to reserve a week or so for exactly this pleasure every summer around our wedding anniversary. This July we are celebrating 16 years, and for the first time maybe ever I feel the heft of that number.

Not in a bad way, not at all. Just in a less juvenile way than before. If that makes sense. Almost as if all the anniversaries prior had been tokens or curiosities, or practices, even the milestones like 5 or 10.

Do you remember the birthday from your own childhood when you suddenly felt older, less like a little kid, not quite grown up but certainly in that middle ground between the two? It’s a feeling familiar to that. I know we are no longer a new couple; yet we are far from having venerable tenure.

Handsome and I have expereinced and accomplished a lot together in sixteen-plus years as a couple, so it’s a surprise to me that I should only just now feel the heft of a numerical representation of our union.

Sixteen.

Sweet sixteen.

Old enough to drive in this country.

Old enough to actually marry in some places.

The age when most teenagers begin to work for their own actual paychecks.

Still a transitory age, though. And not an altogether easy one.

The traditional gifting mediums for the sixteenth wedding anniversary are silver and peridot. But we have never adhered to this.

After all, we are saving money by not traveling, right?  One of our accidental but long-standing traditions is to gift a single thing to each other, a treasure for the house or the farm, some indulgent memento that we hopefully always remember as “the thing we found at our so-and-so anniversary!” With some luck we tend to find these treasures at cool, weird, cobwebby places for either cheap or nothing. Or, we reserve our anniversary for purchases larger than we might normally make.

Sometimes we see beautiful objects and take in the artistic inspiration then tackle a DIY for the farm. I like this image for that:

Does the Lazy W need a silver-painted mermaid? Probably.

As of this blog post we have not found our 16th year treasure. I’ll keep your posted.

Back to Stay-Cationing!

Some of our favorite activities are pretty obvious: Swimming and laying out in the (abundant, oppressive, delicious, healing) Oklahoma sun, grilling food outside and generally cooking whatever we feel like from day to day, keeping a slightly less rigorous healthy diet. (At the onset of this week we went grocery shopping together and filled the cart with quite a selection of separate cravings.)

Plus literally the best restaurant food.

Lots of spinach topped with pistachio-crusted goat cheese, mango, grilled chicken, prosciutto, and more. HEAVEN.

We go to the movies sometimes, a rare treat. This week we have seen both Pirates of the Caribbean and War for the Planet of the Apes. Such good films!!

We go running for fun, not training, I mean mostly I do, but I try not to feel guilty about it, and the boys have been joining the sweat fest a little bit too!

We socialize with friends. Sleep in the heat of the afternoon if we need it, especially in our cold and comfy green room downstairs. In fact sometimes we even sleep downstairs at night, like a slumber party. It’s great.

Staycation is for looser schedules, maximum sunshine, indulgent foods, and lots of want to do activity, less have to do.

Several times per day the words sweet sixteen pop into my head.

Happy Anniversary, BW. Midway through our week off together, I wish you all the rest and refreshment you crave. I love you more now than ever.

XOXOXOXO

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Filed Under: anniversary, daily life, memories, staycation, summertime

a much happier storm season blowing through us

July 9, 2017

When the farm has just emptied of kids, evidence is plenty. The deck, pool, and surrounding lawns are all festooned with brightly colored plastics: Water guns and leaky swim masks, half-inflated floats, sun-crunchy pirate beach towels, and orphaned flip flops and hair ties. They are all scattered like confetti across the calm, green expanse. We discover an empty juice box here and there, a chewed-to-nothing melon rind, a discarded (hopefully used up) bottle of sunblock.

The chairs and chaise lounges are all askew, abandoned and resting happily like exhausted chaperones after a late night middle school dance.

When we bought these nine acres in 2007, our dream and vision was to give our girls, then 10 and 12, a second half of childhood, a healthy, wholesome coming of age with lots of space for deep breathing and long-leg stretching, animals to love and learn from, and much more.

The seeds of that vision had barely germinated when some destructive life storms blew through our family and changed everything for a season. We hung on, everyone survived, and eventually the sun came out again, brighter than ever. But that’s another story for another day.

Now I sit outside soaking up the cheerful debris of a happier storm, one of so many like it, each one important. “Cousin-Palooza 2017” came and went in a flash, leaving in its wake all this color and all these good vibrations. I sit here taking note of how much love and joy have actually grown here in the midst of that other storm.

Despite it? Or because of it?

For all the years that storm took from our family, has it actually nourished our foundation?

I think so.

I think, I feel in my bones, that the culling and strengthening and the deep watering from both tears and sweat have all contributed to an ongoing beautification. Not just a bigger deck or prettier gardens, not just faster internet, better food and more artwork on the walls- although yes to all of that!

But really, more trusting hearts for my husband and me. Freer minds. Effervescent joy that is actually pretty difficult to flatten.

We are blessed beyond reason. Thankful for adult siblings who trust us with their children so we can share these nine acres in some of the ways we always imagined. Happy to cultivate memories and bonds with our nieces and nephews that, despite inevitable storms headed our way in the future (that’s just how life goes), will last a lifetime and anchor us all.

Chloe, Kenzie, & Greg. July 2017 xoxo
Daybreak in Fort City, upstairs in the Apartment. They slept hard for almost 7 hours then sprang awake at full power, ready for chocolate chip pancakes and more fun.
Little fishes doing tricks all day long.

I always resist the hurry to clean up after a party. I am in no hurry to see it all wiped away, all the colorful debris that kids especially leave behind.

Except that other good stuff is on its way, and we need to make room. Every day, every moment, holds a new promise and a host of surprises. The whole big, beautiful, equally colorful future is about to happen.

I’m ready.

XOXOXOXO

 

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Filed Under: daily life, faith, family, Farm Life, gratitude, grief, growth, memories, thinky stuff

friday 5 at the farm: early summer joys

June 23, 2017

Friday already? Yes, it’s Friday! Wow. We just accomplished another full-to-bursting work week and are sliding fast and furious toward the weekend. I couldn’t be happier. Actually, Handsome and I were just reflecting on how these past couple of weeks have been particularly satisfying. Filled with all sorts of boxes checked, obstacles demolished, attitudes refreshed. Prayers answered, too, let’s not forget that. We sure can’t take all the credit for being in a place of peace and contentment. Thankfully, the goodness around us far exceeds what we are capable of drumming up ourselves.

Real quick, how about a Friday 5 at the Farm?

Here are some things bringing me total and utter joy this week.

#1: Baby chicks are growing! Mama Hen and her little flock of six are happy and energetic. We love them.

#2: Some foot TLC, including new stretches and a topical anti-inflammatory. After a break that felt much longer than 3 days, I finally logged 8.2 glorious, humid miles between Thursday evening and Friday morning and am super grateful to be back at it.

#3: Homegrown salads! Every big bowl is layered with a variety of lettuces and greens, raw veggies, and farm fresh eggs. I could live on this meal. Actually, I kind of do.

#4: This overflowing trough garden and our new flat deck make me happy every single day. In the early morning hours, the light is lavender and pink and the birdsong is orchestral. By midday the dragonflies are buzzing low and I crave my best lawn chair and a good book for soaking up the sun in privacy. Early evening brings cooler temperatures and lacy shadows from those oak trees. And if we are lucky enough to step outside at night, we are rewarded with velvet black, diamond-crusted skies and lots of frog song. At any hour, I love to brush my hand across the globe basil planted here and bring the fragrance with me. Even my husband notices.

#5: An evening at Vacation Bible School with our Jedi OKC friends! Man that was fun. So many happy kids and so many stellar people making good things happen for them.

 

And with that, we are off to the next chapter. What daily gifts have brought you loads of utter and complete joy this week?

Carpe those diems, friends, they are rare and beautiful.

“I promise if you keep searching for everything
rare and beautiful in this world,
eventually you will become it.”
~T.K. White
XOXOXOXO

 

 

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Filed Under: animals, daily life, Farm Life, Friday 5 at the Farm, gardening, running

scaling back & happy about it

June 15, 2017

Does anybody else have the disease where you cannot just learn and enjoy a simple skill without wanting to launch it into a massive community effort, or maybe a career, or under the right circumstances… a life calling? I for sure have that. It took me many years to admit it to myself, and I could do lots of armchair self-analysis to explain how I got to this point (hello leaving the public work force and still feeling guilty 17 year later)…

…But the bottom line is that I’m withdrawing from the Farmers’ Market and textiles business for a while. And yes, I definitely use the word “business” loosely here. Generously. Ironically. With loads of rainbows in my eyes and that haze of imagination around my head.

Why can’t I just have yoga deck and occasionally enjoy it with friends without brainstorming how to develop it into a yoga retreat space?

Why can’t I just cultivate the max amount of fruits, herbs, eggs and veggies that our family will eat without thinking I am morally obligated to sell enough to pay off our house?

Case in point: I made a gorgeous, decadent small batch of jelly yesterday from plums grown here on the farm and basically thought my name should be Smuckers. I agonized for three and a half hours over the economics of scale and what was wrong with me. See what I mean?

Why can’t I just sew gifts for people here and there without thinking I need to make an apron name for myself and compete with Jessie Steele or, more recently, the PW herself? Ha. Yeah, I know she doesn’t sit at home and sew those herself, but you get the idea. It’s a defeating train of thought and ultimately a grand waste of time and energy.

The thing is, none of these impulses are borne of wanting to fill a gap, not exactly. I mean maybe just a little. Really, it’s that my daily and weekly and monthly routines are so indulgent, so extravagant and satisfying, that keeping it all to myself feels weird. And yet, adding a variety of outbound, money-focused projects to the mix is just too much. It spoils everything.

Maybe I should just open a hippie commune.

I am kidding!

Mostly.

Enough for now. I just wanted to check in and say that, despite so many enthusiastic Facebook posts and private conversations lately, I will not be at any local farmers’ markets this summer. Nor am I likely to do a bunch of sewing unless you contact me privately for a special project. I have my hands full at the farm and am also happy to see some family changes coming down the road, for which I want to keep my time open.

Life is beautiful. So beautiful I just want to share it more often. That’s all.

Love you, friends. Thank you as always for checking in. I hope that however you spend it, you have the most satisfying day.

Carpe Diem
XOXOXOXO

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Filed Under: daily life, thinky stuff, time

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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"Edit your life freely and ruthlessly. It's your masterpiece after all." ~Nathan W. Morris

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