Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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a much happier storm season blowing through us

July 9, 2017

When the farm has just emptied of kids, evidence is plenty. The deck, pool, and surrounding lawns are all festooned with brightly colored plastics: Water guns and leaky swim masks, half-inflated floats, sun-crunchy pirate beach towels, and orphaned flip flops and hair ties. They are all scattered like confetti across the calm, green expanse. We discover an empty juice box here and there, a chewed-to-nothing melon rind, a discarded (hopefully used up) bottle of sunblock.

The chairs and chaise lounges are all askew, abandoned and resting happily like exhausted chaperones after a late night middle school dance.

When we bought these nine acres in 2007, our dream and vision was to give our girls, then 10 and 12, a second half of childhood, a healthy, wholesome coming of age with lots of space for deep breathing and long-leg stretching, animals to love and learn from, and much more.

The seeds of that vision had barely germinated when some destructive life storms blew through our family and changed everything for a season. We hung on, everyone survived, and eventually the sun came out again, brighter than ever. But that’s another story for another day.

Now I sit outside soaking up the cheerful debris of a happier storm, one of so many like it, each one important. “Cousin-Palooza 2017” came and went in a flash, leaving in its wake all this color and all these good vibrations. I sit here taking note of how much love and joy have actually grown here in the midst of that other storm.

Despite it? Or because of it?

For all the years that storm took from our family, has it actually nourished our foundation?

I think so.

I think, I feel in my bones, that the culling and strengthening and the deep watering from both tears and sweat have all contributed to an ongoing beautification. Not just a bigger deck or prettier gardens, not just faster internet, better food and more artwork on the walls- although yes to all of that!

But really, more trusting hearts for my husband and me. Freer minds. Effervescent joy that is actually pretty difficult to flatten.

We are blessed beyond reason. Thankful for adult siblings who trust us with their children so we can share these nine acres in some of the ways we always imagined. Happy to cultivate memories and bonds with our nieces and nephews that, despite inevitable storms headed our way in the future (that’s just how life goes), will last a lifetime and anchor us all.

Chloe, Kenzie, & Greg. July 2017 xoxo
Daybreak in Fort City, upstairs in the Apartment. They slept hard for almost 7 hours then sprang awake at full power, ready for chocolate chip pancakes and more fun.
Little fishes doing tricks all day long.

I always resist the hurry to clean up after a party. I am in no hurry to see it all wiped away, all the colorful debris that kids especially leave behind.

Except that other good stuff is on its way, and we need to make room. Every day, every moment, holds a new promise and a host of surprises. The whole big, beautiful, equally colorful future is about to happen.

I’m ready.

XOXOXOXO

 

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Filed Under: daily life, faith, family, Farm Life, gratitude, grief, growth, memories, thinky stuff

how we enrich each other’s motherhood

May 9, 2016

If it’s true that it takes a village to raise a child, then surely that truth carries throughout life. Surely good mothers can rally around each other, impart their best qualities, and thereby nourish more women to help more children live fuller, healthier, happier lives. A cross-pollination of sorts, you know?

I am so grateful for my own Mom, for my Mother in Law, for other women in my big beautiful family, and for the dazzling array of female friends in my life who collectively have nourished my mind and heart. They each and all have helped me see the world in new ways. They have helped to refine me, inspire my dreams, and put muscle behind my efforts. I am sure you would say the same about the women in your life. We all are products of our communities. We all help each other evolve and grow, and it’s beautiful.

The woman I was yesterday introduced me to the woman I am today; which makes me very excited about meeting the woman I will become tomorrow.

From my own sweet Mom, among many other passions, I inherited a love of gardening. She taught me slowly, by osmosis even, a host of growing lessons without ever calling them lessons. She passed along a love of recycling found objects and furnishing a home on a shoestring. She taught me that cooking at home, in my own kitchen, is better than eating at any restaurant (except maybe really good Tex Mex) and that leftovers can be delicious and fun. Because of her I crave healthy food and love to be outside. Imagination, I learned first from my Mom, is vital to our well being, and boredom is not an option for any thinking person.

From Judy, Handsome’s Mom, I learned to pray. I learned to cover my children in prayer and anoint them. She taught me to trust God with my babies, with our home, with everything. Judy taught me how to seek after miracles and lay my hands on them.

My sister Angela is younger than me but has taught me plenty. She proves the incomparable power of unconditional love. Her children are her glow and life force.

My little brother’s amazing wife Halee is one of my most favorite people on this planet. As a mother she exudes peace and calm. Over the years she and I have had deep discussions about the power of positivity, and really her life is proof of it. She as incredible inner strength and lends it to me regularly. (PS: They are expecting their second baby, yay!!)

Marci, my very best girlfriend, personifies the importance of education and hard work. She sets a high bar for her children and supports them firmly every step of the way. She is also one of the most fiercely protective mothers you will ever meet, so much so that it even makes me feel safe, haha!

My friend Meredith reminds me to celebrate the uniqueness of each of my children. She aims her gaze away from herself, toward whatever her children are looking at, and I love that. I am now in a chapter with Jocelyn that allows me to do that more than ever, and it is quite a gift. I’m thankful for Meredith’s example.

Brittany celebrates wildness. She prizes a little feral beauty in her young kittens, and she clearly sees them as dangerous, powerful individuals. She whispers a thrilling kind of freedom into the world, and I would be so sad without her voice.

Deb is a woman I have known since she was a teenager and I was little girl. She was my Mom’s midwife when my little sister Genny was born, and over the years Deb has been a strong, happy role model to me. She promotes whole-person wellness, good music on repeat, granola, chamomile tea, and playing outside. She spread her wings early in life and has encouraged her children to do the same. We are reconnected now as my own daughter is spreading her wings, and that has been so comforting.

Heather is my Canadian blogging friend. She and I became acquainted during a dark valley in my motherhood journey, and she helped me see the light. She helped me keep alive that spark of hope for good adult relationships with my daughters, hope for the truth to come out slowly and safely. Now she helps me celebrate good news over and over, and I appreciate her so much! All of that, plus she is just one of the most industrious and creative women ever to walk the earth.

Christy is a friend I would have been lucky to make about twenty years earlier, except I understand now that timing in life is perfect. Just leave it alone. She is an avid champion for positive body image, healthy habits, and joy. Unbridled joy!! But if I write much more about this woman she might block me on Facebook.

Tracy is a book club girlfriend who is devoted to her family. Her style is to be active with them and be silly and play. Play play play. She is a serious soul with a very un-serious side that I adore. She reminds me to play, and I love that.

My drop dead gorgeous cousin (she’s actually my second cousin but so what) Jen is a whole other kind of playful. She is the kind of mom who worries privately but somehow transmits only confidence and zen. She absorbs the darkness for her people and does some kind of magic that makes it possible for her to only emit light. She is dry witted, fun, sexy, smart, and very go-with-the-flow, and it’s all so magnetic.

I met Trisha through Marci and am so glad we are friends. She is a first-time mom with great old-time values. She is deliberate in filling her toddler Avery’s time with valuable stuff, lessons and face time, but no screen time. She wants her daughter to grow up unencumbered by technology addiction, and what a great reminder to us all. This is only a snapshot of what she offers the world, but to me it’s vital. It’s all about carpe diem, right? Yes.

My Aunt Marion has imparted to me a wealth of wisdom and good habits. More than I can encapsulate here. What stands out as I write this is her attention to nesting and home keeping. She allowed me to house sit for her when I was about 19 years old, during a time her house was on the market to be sold. She left clear instructions to keep every bed made, every bathroom tidy and clean, and the kitchen shining. I was not to leave the house with so much as one glass in the sink, she said happily, because a realtor might bring a prospective buyer to view the house at any time. The thing is, her house has always been clean and beautiful. This was nothing special for her. But that short week of keeping her home up to her standards made a deep impression on me. It’s probably why I find it physically impossible to go to bed now with so much as a glass in the kitchen sink, and I never leave the farm with unmade beds or messy bathrooms.

I was thrilled to be in touch with both of my beautiful girls today! Klaus was happy to be cuddle up for a Mother's Day photo though, haha! xoxo
I was thrilled to be in touch with both of my beautiful girls today! So very happy. But my sweet Klaussen volunteered to cuddle up for the Mother’s Day photo, haha! xoxo

I could write for days about dozens of other women, and just as many men, who challenge and inspire me to be better. These are the women who came to my heart today. I was laying outside, just kind of luxuriating after a long, happy lunch with local family, and the warmest feeling of gratitude washed up over me. Warm, vibrating gratitude for the influence these women have been. For the contributions they continue to make to my life. I hope they each know they are appreciated.

Who has enriched your motherhood? What qualities are you thankful to see growing in your life because someone else planted a seed?

Happy late Mother’s Day to all of my friends. My wish is that you feel more hope than pain. That you are standing in more light than dark. And that you trust deep in your bones the trans-formative power of Love and imagination.

Now excuse me while I have dessert for dinner.

“Empowered women empower women.”
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: gratitude, growth, inspiration, mothers

from unfocused to zen

March 10, 2016

Spring has sprung in Oklahoma, and soon even the stodgy old calendar will agree. My days are filled with worthwhile activity. My heart is brimming with hope and excitement for the immediate future. My mouth actually waters every time I notice a new pink or yellow bloom or that stunning wash of emerald-green in the middle field (which seemed to happen overnight). This week’s soaking rains have rinsed everything so clean, and the breeze is so mild again, that our air has a plump sweetness. It’s delicious. And it carries birdsong in that old, soft cotton, memorized-poem kind of way that we all love so much, especially at daybreak.

My Jane Magnolia has evolved from this just in the few days since I snapped this photo. Now she has almost as much green as pink, and she is gorgeous. Time marches onward!
My Jane Magnolia has evolved from this just in the few days since I snapped this photo. Now she has almost as much green as pink, and she is gorgeous. Time marches onward!

But I haven’t been feeling perfectly springtime-ish every day. Sometimes it takes some effort.

Handsome indulged me early this morning in a little coaching session. Or maybe you’d call it a pep talk or just a nice conversation between husband and wife about life lately. I shared with him that I am feeling a bit scattered, spread too thinly, and unfocused. And what he shared in return was so helpful. I have great respect for him. His words carry a lot of weight in my heart and mind, so his encouragement gave me a much-needed reset. He said to remember that everyone sometimes feels that way when they carry a variety of responsibilities and balance various priorities. (I don’t claim to carry the weight of the world; but I do manage a crazy-quilt lifestyle. It can be, well, crazy.) My guy said calmly that what you do is the first most important thing, then the next, then the next. Stay in control of your time and energy and know that you cannot do all of it all at once and that it is okay to set limits and say no. (I am paraphrasing, but he doesn’t mind.)

Simple, right? But the incoming tide of asks and offers and demands on our time and energy can be so brutal. Sometimes the world sees a person who doesn’t work outside the home and assumes that his or her free time is limitless and energy bottomless. And sometimes these people have a hard time saying no.

Our conversation was like a deep breath of that cool, sweet Oklahoma air. Cleansing. After he left for the Commish I comforted our dog because Klaus pouts for about ten minutes after his Daddy leaves, then I spent an hour doing just the first most important things on my day’s list, without letting my thoughts be pulled in every other direction, and I felt so energized. Soon I had a few minutes to notice again the details of this beautiful morning.

That is what I would add to my husband’s very good advice: When you’re feeling overwhelmed and scattered, start by focusing on small, beautiful details. Aim some of your energy at gratitude and allow your heart to settle on the gifts already at your feet. Then your mind will be more free to zero in on what must be done.

I love this combination approach of focus and gratitude. And articulating it now, I see that it’s a good blend of him and me.

God Bless Hot Tub Summits
XOXOXOXO

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Filed Under: daily life, gratitude, growth, thinky stuff, timeTagged: time management

Happy Easter Friends

March 31, 2013

Easter Sunday this year is falling at a time of so much change. So much new life.
The month is changing, the season is changing, and I am changing.

Are you?
Are you in any kind of metamorphosis right now, any kind of renewal?
More than ever I think, things are really truly changing.
I hope you are sensing it, and I hope it is all beautiful and exciting.

When I reflect on the Christian importance of this weekend, 
what my mind most often drifts to is redemption. 
We have been redeemed from our sins by our Savior. 
We have been traded. Purchased. Protected from darkness and storms
and even from ourselves for a while, 
our debts relieved and our futures bright and open with loving possibility.

 From a million years ago, one of our homemade Easter rituals, commemorating the Passover night.

This is so in step with how I have been trying to manage my own life lately, 
just the word redemption.
For what different things in this world am I redeeming my precious time and energy? 



Spiritually speaking, the question becomes even more challenging.
What trades am I making? What contracts are written with my free will,
after such a costly redemption?
It’s plenty to think about, but it doesn’t make me sad anymore.
Life is so throbbing with energy right now that I am only motivated, revived, 
and hopeful for the possibility of everything good and amazing!



Break your dormancy, friends.
Erupt through the soil, nourished by invisible things and sparked back to life,
filled with all the life force you need
to grow into your fullest, most beautiful, most useful potential.
Face the sun.
Accept every kind of weather.
Stretch your roots deeply and enjoy the company of bugs and worms.

It’s going to be a season for the record books, and I wish you the best of it all. 
Happy Easter!

xoxoxoxo




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Filed Under: change, Easter, growth, springtime, thinky stuff

Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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