Lazy W Marie

friday 5: favorites this week & random photos

May 24, 2019

001 Fave Music: Lately I have been happily immersed in a deep, cleansing catalog of Halsey’s voice and all that watery, rhythmic music she offers. Her stuff is all at once abrasive and soothing of the injury she inflicts, ha. Halsey reminds me of Jocelyn for this quality and also because it was on a trip to Colorado that my beautiful firstborn first introduced me to this artist. Really talented, really beautiful, achingly sweet and angry. Enigmatic in the best feminine ways. It has been perfect music for these rainy days lately when I am indoors cleaning, cooking, and ironing. Have you heard her version of Walk the Line? Love it.

002 Fave Eats & Drinks: Refrigerator-pickled garden vegetables, Tex-Mex style. Especially if they can be eaten with a generous helping of my friend Kellie’s homemade guacamole. Oh man, so good. I am also loving deluxe mixed nuts and shredded balsamic chicken thighs (not breasts), in other words FATS as per my monthly cravings, ha. And plain iced tea is my favorite drink right now. Last weekend, at two consecutive events, we were served really strong, deliciously fresh iced tea, which I hadn’t had in months, so this week I have kept a gallon of it brewed in the fridge. Unsweetened, it has been a nice switch from diet soda.

003 Fave Fitness: Strength!! After a few months of slowly incorporating more “strength” days and gradually edging out miles here and there, I am really loving a very different routine. How different? Well, a of today, I have only logged 18 miles all week, which is how much I would normally get by Tuesday, easy. Yet I feel leaner and more energetic, crazy! My daily/weekly workouts are now pretty centered on weighted circuits, with cardio and running interspersed as I have time or the craving. This is a huge learning curve for me, and kind of an addiction-breaker, but for now I love it. This routine saves time, because I have a gym here in the barn, eliminating the need to drive to a trail or paved park sidewalk six days per week. I am liking the slow (and sustainable) body composition changes, too. Runner up for fave fitness: Lots of marathon inspiration from friends. I plan on starting a new training cycle in late July, for a fall race. I am VERY excited to see how these weeks of strength and fat loss help with that! In the mean time, I am still watching my friends crush goals left and right. Lots of inspiration, not a drop of envy. That feels great.

004 Fave Emotions: I am deeply thankful for a sense of truce with old enemies, people with whom I have had friction, even deep injury, in the past. God has laid a blanket of peace over so many old battle grounds, and I am more thankful than I can express. Another favorite emotion this week has been joy. Day after day, no matter the circumstances, Love has been uprooting anger and worry and allowing joy to bubble up instead. It comes quite unbidden at times, other times with some effort. But it is all delicious, and I am better at everything because of it. More, please.

005 Fave Reading: Tara Westover’s Educated has me captivated. I missed an entire day of reading this week while we were pretty glued to the weather channels (no tornadoes though, thankfully), and by evening I was in a panic to grab at least a few pages. She is eloquent, expressive of both physical and emotional landscapes, and her story overall is relatable and astonishing. A couple of smart friends are reading this along with me, and I cannot wait to discuss.

Now 5 random photos!

I hope you can take a few minutes to soak up the best of this past week, whatever is happening in your world. May the weather be kind (we feel so fortunate at the Lazy W this week, whew!). May your enemies be at peace with you. May your health and sense of abundance overflow! And I hope your upcoming weekend is all you need it to be. Thanks for checking in!

“No I won’t smile
but I’ll show you my teeth.”
~Halsey
XOXOXO

more new than ever before

May 5, 2019

I find myself wondering whether this springtime is among the most luscious of all my life or my eyes and heart are simply more open than ever before. Everything feels new, but more than new; everything has a wet, trembling quality, and it feels like more than just the abundance of rainfall.

When seeds germinate and break through the topsoil lately, they seem to do so with music playing. When the chicks run across their flight pen, they return the other direction a full size bigger. And have you heard the news that one of our young hens has learned to quack, no doubt by living with two ducks? The skies are probably the same colors as before, but more crystalline, more kinetic. The pine trees are growing arms and fingers and reaching for brand new ideas, learning new languages I think. Walking around the farm, you can smell fresh energy like it’s incense or very good cookies and bread baking.

Old thought patterns are falling apart like charred wood, burned (I believe) by truth. And I can leave them where they fall or sweep them up and replace them with better thoughts, stronger ones, more loving ones, more exciting ideas about life and God and all of our complex human relationships. Fear is almost fully edged out now, and the Worry Door has not cracked open in so long.

A new friend recently loaned me her treasured paperback copy of Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. Somehow this author had been completely foreign to me, and now I want time to stop so I can gobble up all of his work, because his term “Christian spirituality” is right on target for my life. Here are a couple of passages that have struck me beautifully this past week:

I believe the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil but rather to have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man’s mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God.”

I love that. And it speaks straight to me, because I am such a creature of habit. I thrive on not only physical daily routines but also meditative practices, which certainly have value. But when little interruptions ruffle my feathers or when I am so cemented in habits that I am wasting time, it all has a kind of soundproofing effect between God and me. Don’t get me started on excessive volunteering or millions of obligatory social connections.

Okay, and then this:

Passion is tricky, though. because it can point to nothing as easily as it points to something.

Somewhere around that sentence in the book, Miller describes his thought process around what he would die for and what he is living for. It’s all kind of the front burner for me now. The moments when we might be asked to die for someone or something may come rarely, if ever, but every hour of every day we are actively or passively exchanging both our time and our life force, our God given human energy for something else. We give ourselves away in pieces, big and small, over and over again, and I wonder how many of those transactions are beneath us, how much of it is waste. A lot, you know? Maybe unintentionally? But so very much is exchanged for good, too, for strong, solid, worthwhile purposes. We trade our time and energy and human life force for love of family and friends, for personal passions that are linked directly to some aspect of our creation that leads us right back to God. How thrilling to see that our intrinsic passions can be connections to God and thereby pipelines for more abundant life. I love that we are all created in such unique ways and that He can draw us near and put us to work based on our passions. I want to find more ways to facilitate exactly that.

So. The farm. All of these nine acres are pure joy to me. The creatures who live here, even when they frustrate me, the plants, the wildness, the work and creativity, our romance and our human fabric, all of it. It has become my home and sanctuary, classroom and temple. And for all of the physical, sensory pleasures here, I know in my bones that the real magic is unseen. The real magic and power and drama can easily be extracted and reinvested elsewhere, should that time ever come. This is just the stage.

This is how I know the shimmer and pulse of our current season is owed to more than the mild Oklahoma springtime; God is doing something here with us that brings it all into focus for me. The old fears and worries are burned up and crumbling; worldly distractions are falling back and losing their noisy power in favor of birdsong in the morning and frog symphonies at night. More beauty than I have ever seen is front and center, both for the physical senses and for that part of me that can’t find the words. Hope, joy, belief in the power of Love, compassion for the weird things we all need and chase, patience, silliness, healing. Lots of healing. So much more.

I’ll take the flowers and the vegetables and even the snakes. I’ll take the skies changing and the air tasting like candy, as temporary as it all is. They are outward proof of an unseen Power. For me, this is something worth living for, day after day. Our lives are filled with more goodness than we can manage, despite our efforts to soak it in. And the shifting details just press me to live attentively, to find balance in movement too. It’s all constantly changing and never-ending. Such magic!

Thank you for introducing me to Donald Miller, Stefanie. My mind is churning from it all. Happy weekend, friends. I wish you magic and Love and clear vision.

“You have found the life underneath your life situation.”
~Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
XOXOXOXO

humpday headlines

February 28, 2019

Hello and happy Wednesday!! Life at the W is clicking right long, and I have a handful of thoughts to share in case you are cuddled up and in the mood to read. This blog post will be like my favorite outfits: Nothing matches, but it all feels right.

001 My friend Christina at Little Sprouts Learning is a genius. This past week she shared a natural solution for repelling the dreaded squash bugs: white radishes! Also this week I was reminded that starting a squash crop earlier than usual can give the vines a jump on their enemies’ life cycles. This strategy is simple, and it could give a bigger overall yield for the summer; we just have to have some late frost protection plans in our back pockets.

squash bugs… the bane of my garden existence… (2014)

002 Next week is Mardi Gras, and depending on how social plans shake out I might bake our King Cake this weekend. Rather than pull ideas from the internet, I decided to lean comfortably on a recipe from a little book I snagged a few years ago in the actual French Quarter, at my favorite used book store. King Cake is lot more like a yeast bread than cake, which means it might scratch this sourdough craving I can’t kick. Also? I am a lot better at baking bread than cake, as the following photo demonstrates:

003 Is it watermelon season yet? If not, can everyone please stop posting watermelon photos online? And can the grocery stores please stop selling cubes of the red fruit in plastic boxes for one million dollars, even though they probably taste like chewy tap water? Ok cool. On a happier note, I have ordered some fancy watermelon seeds for a new patch this year, wahoo!!

004 I want you to come see some improvements we are making to the farm! One visual treat is the east exterior side of the big barn, the side you see just as you pull your car up and around the gravel driveway:

It’s a happy work in progress, and I love it! The mural, hand painted by my favorite white collar-hobby farming-renaissance man, has been here a while, but we recently added that red “W” up top and have started rearranging a collection of miscellaneous signs, hubcaps, and license plates. Soon, those two plastic trough planters will be overflowing with sunflowers, cosmos, and maybe hollyhocks and trailing SPV, and the ground below will be crawling with fruit. This is where I’ll grow watermelons and a pumpkin patch this year. My thinking is that, compared to the front field, this area between the house and the horses gets a lot more daily foot traffic, so the deer are less likely to sneak in and rob us and I am less likely to forget to do the weeding and watering. Bam.

005 My husband started a Keto diet on January second, and I have a lot of feelings about it, ha. Since March is “National Nutrition Month,” I will save my thoughts for a post then. Until then, light a candle for me. (I am kidding, it’s fine. But seriously. Send haaaaalllp.)

006 Unrelated, or perhaps very related, I have continued on the fitness path of trading lots of miles each week for lifting (baby) weights), and I feel surprisingly great. It’s funny how you have to convince yourself that running less is totally allowed. I am ever so slowly shedding some fat and feeling stronger and leaner, head to toe. What’s even more exciting is that my aerobic fitness is improving, too. I grab faster intervals when I decide to, run more consistent tempo workouts, and finish virtually every run with energy to spare. Zero plantar pain and better endurance, both very good side effects. The slow, slight fat loss is just a bonus so far. I attribute healthier, happier feet to building stronger hips and lower abs. This makes all the difference to mileage goals, for me: Should I eventually commit to a marathon, I could not increase volume much with blistered heels and and screaming plantar. So, for the foreseeable future, baby weights a few times per week will stay in rotation with those glorious, refreshing miles. This has all been really good mental conditioning, too, this constant sense of missing out on how all my running friends are preparing. (Boston and OKC races are right around the corner!)

007 Winter is making a few unwelcome encores around here, but it’s still February, after all, and even an early spring should not be expected until sometime in March. We consciously grab hold of and enjoy every warm, gorgeous afternoon with which we are gifted, and we try to make really good use of the cold, grey days in between, complaining as little as our worn out, heat-loving spirits will allow. Soon enough, as last weekend demonstrated, we will be outside working so long and so exhaustively that this hibernation season will seem far off again and quite foreign. (February always seems so bizarre while we are in it and so far away once we escape. And it’s so short! Weird.) Oh, and how’s this for God having a sense of humor? This morning as we listened to another bitter cold weather forecast and tried to guess its duration, I flipped open my devotional and read this scripture from Acts 1:7, “It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in His own power.” Ha! OK, ok, I get it. We can do zero to affect the weather, and there are greater things at play here. So we might as well just smile and make the most of it!

008 It’s Pisces season, okay? Spring is just so close. Let’s embrace a little magic and fluidity, and let’s welcome our intuition to the fling. What fling? The spring fling, of course.

Despite all the intensity of Pisces season, it’s also one of the most romantic and glamorous times of the year.
mindbodygreen

009 Please go read my friend Katie’s blog update on her garden. She and her husband work together in their Oklahoma City backyard to cultivate a space for flowers, culinary wealth, artwork, chickens and fresh eggs, grandchildren, and gobs of romance. They sound a lot like us, minus the grandchildren, ha! And we hope to accept their sweet dinner invitation soon!

010 What if the entire shade garden could be a spacious, concentric salad garden? All lettuces and kales, radishes, maybe some peas and… What else? Nasturtiums? Pansies? Cabbage! I want lots of food here to mix with the perennial coral bells, azaleas, and hydrangeas. The last couple of summers I accidentally grew too many tall sun lovers near the edge, so they not only visually blocked most of the expanse; they also leaned over dramatically to find the light. It was fun for a while, but it made mowing weird. And it eventually was just… confusing.

011 Have you read the Eckhart Tolle book, The Power of Now? My sister Ang recommended it to me, and I crave some discussion. So good. And much needed in my life. Thanks lady!!

That is it for my headline collection today, unless perhaps you are into discussing pregnancy scares for women in their mid forties? No? Ok, carry on. Have the loveliest evening possible! And don’t hate the cold too much. It really is almost over. Remember we are counting it all joy!! All of it!

“Even when the sky is heavily overcast,
the sun hasn’t disappeared.
It’s still there on the other side of the clouds.”
~Eckhart Tolle
XOXOXOXO

read, watch, listen this week & some happy photos

February 15, 2019

This week has brought me lots of excellent stuff to read, watch, and listen to. Here it all is, plus a handful of random snapshots from my phone!

I’ll Have Another podcast (with Lindsey Hein) Her live interview with Scott Jurek, author of North, was crazy relatable and a solid inspiration. I struggle sometimes with keeping my eyes on my own dreams and goals, with not being distracted by others’ accomplishments, especially during race season. His words of wisdom encouraged me to play around with variety in my running and also to, quite literally, forge a solitary path. North, after all, was all about his journey along the Appalachian Trail, basically backwards. Cannot wait to read it. Give this podcast episode #164 a listen if you have time!

The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. I am making my way slowly through this book and love it to the max. Here’s a quote to tempt you:

Accept, then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.

Ride with Norman Reedus. Have you caught this new series yet? It’s on AMC, just like The Walking Dead. We are hooked. It’s mellow, adventurous, conversational, and filled with great personalities. And to watch a bunch of motorcycle scenes on the brink of springtime just gets us so excited for little road trips.

Sandy the Reluctant Entertainer posted yet another mouthwatering recipe, this time for a very special cookie, and the message she wove into the post is just as wonderful. Check out Simple Almond Cranberry Crunch.

Heal. Our friend Kelley, the same magical woman who together with her husband Chuck taught us that paint pouring technique, recommended this Netflix special. I have watched it once alone and once with Handsome, and it bears lots of discussion. The bulk of the message is mind-over-matter encouragement for chronic illness, but it’s illustrated by as much science as anecdote. If you watch it, I would really like to hear your thoughts. Keywords: Tonic versus toxic thoughts and words, Quantum Entanglement, and our Inner Pharmacy. Thanks Kelley!!

Okay, a handful of photos and only very brief stories for each:

One day this week we had warm, mild weather! I ran in a tank top, no hat and gloves!! And I wore two watches, ha. Handsome had left his at home (my old black one) so to be funny I wore it for an easy 6 miles. His watch gave a close pace to mine but said I burned lots and lots more calories, ha!

We have a new outdoor flight pen for Pacino!! He has needed this for a while, and we are pretty excited. As the weather improves he will spend more hours out here, and we will keep him company. We might even find some feathery companions for the blue boy. Since this photo was taken, we have added artwork and more obstacles for enrichment. He really seems to like it all.

For Valentine’s Day this year, we geared up for a fancy dinner at home then changed into pajamas and ate our meal blissfully in the cozy living room. I surprised my guy with an espresso machine for his office, and he gave me a weed eater for my gardens and beehives, haha!! Also, a long love letter form the world’s most romantic man and a perfectly cooked heart-shaped ribeye, a well established tradition. I love this exact recipe for being fluent in each other’s love languages.

Klaus loves playing fetch even more than I love perfect coffee. He also loves to collect his objects of fetch in little piles all over the farm. When I stumble on a new cache, sometimes he acts nervous. This one is in the far southwest corner of the back field, where we visit at least three times per day on patrol walks. Apparently he has been accumulating things secretly.

My brother’s firstborn, Greg, and my baby, Jess. These cousins are spending some quality time together this weekend, and my heart is swelling with joy.

I saved the photo for last that will go down in our family’s history as the biggest headline for this week. Dante, my sister Angela’s firstborn, finished Air Force Basic Training and actually graduated with honors. He is so deeply loved, and everyone is so proud and excited for his accomplishments and his coming opportunities, words fail me. We did not make it to San Antonio for the festivities, so I have been poring over the photo stream every hour, often crying with joy. So many hugs, so much intimacy and strength. Just amazing.

Okay sweet friends, thanks for checking in!! Life is good. Weather here is all over the place, but our hibernation days are numbered. I see streaks of emerald green in the middle field, but mostly from a distance. Up close, it’s still quite brown.

And God has been answering prayers big and small like it’s going out of style. Although obviously that will never happen. I cannot stress enough, TRUST HIM. He’s got this.

Ok it’s almost time for a movie and a bowl of popcorn, then rest day tomorrow! See you soon! Have the best weekend ever!!

“In the Spring I have counted
136 different kinds of weather
inside of 24 hours.”
~Mark Twain
XOXOXOXO

friday 5 at the farm, cold & happy

February 8, 2019

What a week! Another one! Solid, satisfying hard work, mostly top-loaded onto Monday through Wednesday for me (pretty nonstop for Handsome) and prayers answered left and right. Deep hopes and big requests, both for us and for our nearest people, are being met with generosity and Love. I’m stunned by a lot of it. Thankful, to say the least. And humbled by how so many people are carrying heavy burdens. More than they show.

Okay.

It’s time for a Friday 5 at the Farm post, some snapshots of really happy moments this week:

001 Klaus and I have been redeeming as many hours as possible, moving dirt and compost all over the place, daydreaming the whole time about growing season and all the parties we’ll have soon. This particular corner of the farm especially has captured my imagination. It’s over on the south edge of the lawn area, a curvy little spot with a half-buried rock patio. There’s a miniature fire pit adjacent to it on one side (where my spade is stuck in the photo), plus our hot tub on the other. My first task was removing glorious dirt and ash from that bonfire pit and replacing it to a nearby raised bed.
Then that ocean of dry oak leaves got raked off, though it’s hardly a permanent solution. #wind This morning at 4:43 a.m., I woke up with a jolt, having realized that this will be the Moon Garden, something I have wanted for about 20 years. Stay tuned.

002 Our frigid cold weather has, inexplicably, not dissuaded my appetite for post-run protein smoothies. One day I doused the blender magic with frozen blueberries, to match my blue lips and swollen blue hands. It’s a theme, and a delicious one.

003 Wildflower seeds! A friend of ours recently suggested I browse this company’s stock, and I am so glad she did. Shipping is cheap ($7 flat) and pricing, growing instructions and everything else is straight forward. Now I just need to narrow down my wishes a little bit. The biggest use for wildflowers at the farm will be the front field meadow and the Curves & Edges meadow, there along the driveway to the north. Very exciting!! The sand is all filled in now with prairie grass, just begging for some native color.

004 Speaking of seeds, these are growing!! Broccoli sprouts are getting fluffy and reach for the run all day long. I love rearranging and misting them, and soon they’ll need thinning. Most of the sugar snap peas have germinated, too. Snapdragons and parsley are further behind, but it’s early.

005 Last one. My hens. Ahhh I love them. You might like to know that at present, the Lazy W boasts exactly 9 chickens, including 2 roosters. We have had much larger flocks in the past, free range then too, but what’s special about this group is that all of them were hatched here (and they are kept safe lately, from hawks and owls and random German Shepherds). Even in this bitter cold weather, the girls have been offering us three to fours fresh, heavy eggs every day. I love it! And Mama Goose is still with us, old as she is, though mostly blind now and accompanied at all times by Johnny Cash the faithful gander. He guides her until she finds water, and then she is independent and joyful. We are thankful every time we hear her honking and sqwaking.

Okay, that’s it for today! Thanks so much for checking in at the Digital W. I have loved every note and comment from recent updates, too. We are lucky to be surrounded by so much Love.

Happy Weekend to you and yours!!
XOXOXOXO

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