Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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smack between two equinoxes

I recently finished a book Jocelyn gifted me, Cold: Adventures in the World’s Frozen Places by Bill Streever. The book was unlike anything I’ve read before, smoother than a documentary, more informative than a personal narrative, way more fun than a science textbook, and all of that together. I liked it.

Anyway, it’s about cold places, the cultures that grow there, the implications for the planet’s future, you name it. The book includes all kinds of fascinating lore and weather explanations from around the globe and all throughout history. It also more or less follows the calendar, telling stories month by month.

When the author gets to February he offers some anecdotes and little known facts about Candlemas Day, February 2nd, what we know now as Groundhog Day:

If Candlemas Day be fair and bright
Winter will have another fight.
If Candlemas Day brings cloud and rain,
Winter won’t come again.

I offer you this because apparently the groundhog saw his shadow this morning, and everyone thinks that means another long chapter of winter. But at least here in Oklahoma, the skies are dark and moody. No shadows! Also, consider that the Old Farmers’ Almanac predicts the next two months to bring us some moisture, possibly even snow, but overall above normal temps.

All of that and my irises are about four inches high already. So. For the mid-point between the winter solstice and the spring solstice, I’m optimistic.

even a false spring

Bring on spring.

XOXOXOXO

 

 

grading my month of running

Hey friends, happy Tuesday! Big warm thanks to everyone who sent their love and wonderful comments on my post this past Sunday. Reading your words both here and on social media made me feel even more alive with hope. Know that I am sharing all of that loving energy right back with you! Also, I want to share that God is already moving in visible ways. We are actually pretty excited to see what will happen next.

Okay.

I have lots of gardening updates, manure management ideas, big family news, and books and movies to discuss, but there’s time for all of that wonderful stuff later. Soon, in fact!

Today I am linking up for the first time with Marcia and her friends over at Marcia’s Healthy Slice to share some thoughts on how this first month of the new year has been going in the running department. Let’s go.

tuesdays

You might remember I launched this month with a positive attitude toward health and fitness, reflecting on the many benefits of training for but not running a marathon. Then I took stock mid-stream and set a short term goal of un-fluffing myself from the holidays. I have been eating better, running more consistently, and throwing in plenty of yoga, both aerial and traditional.  Just kinda getting back in a groove. I feel great body and mind. Here is my January mileage:

Jan 2-8:  16.5 (Just getting warmed up) plus some cardio barre at home and one aerial yoga class

Jan 9-15:  38.47 (Feeling better! Following an online running camp, more on that later!) and aerial yoga

Jan 16-22:  26.9  (Some schedule interruptions, no biggie) plus extra yoga at home

Jan 23-29:  34.57 (Enjoying faster paces and a lighter appetite) no aerial yoga this week again but lots at home

January total:  116.44 (I start my weeks on Mondays and will tack on yesterday’s and today’s miles to my February weeks.)

I’m happy with this as a start to the new year, because all of it together helped me feel more like myself, and just as importantly all of it together stayed in harmony with the rest of life. At no point did I feel like making my running a priority interfered with farm work or family time; and at no point did I feel like eating better (more vegetables, less bread, cereal, and sugar) was part of a deprivation or “diet” mentality. I just feel amazing eating certain things and moving more. Bonus? I am un-fluffed already. Back down to my pre-Christmas feeling and weight, not that weight matters so much. It’s just amazing to me how doing things that feel so good can be so productive. So profitable. At this easy, sustainable pace and with the right attitude I know I’ll soon be where I want to be, bikini-wise. 

Okay. Marcia invited us to grade ourselves for January.

I cannot in good conscience give myself an “A,” only because I had set slightly higher mileage goals each week and missed them. But I will take a “B” for balance, haha. While I am following the Hal Higdon Advanced I Marathon Plan as a structure for workouts, I have not yet committed to any spring races. So it’s important for my mental peace to just use running as a tool right now and not let it become an obsessive taskmaster, you know?

I mean at least for now. ; )

Check back with me late March and see how that’s going, ha. Or ask my husband, yikes.

Speaking of my husband, he ordered me some new compression socks. I feel like the pink Power Ranger when I wear this pair:

pink socks C

Another thought along these lines: I have been craving this phrase: running volume.

It’s one thing, I think, to tack miles on here and there, or to prep all week for one long run then recover in bed lazily, especially in these winter months. But I have had such a deep need to run more every day, you know? For example, if my plan says I need 3 miles, then I want 5. If it says 7 miles, I want 9. And so on. Every day I wake up feeling this. Just crank up the volume.

Once your body is warmed up, after all, you are just another 18 or so minutes away from that many more miles, and they certainly add up in a week. I tell myself this at the end of each prescribed run and make little bargains with the part of my brain that is pulled to move on with other jobs, like, “just keep going, 18 minutes is no big deal, you spend more than that much looking at social media!” Since I am rarely exhausted, just thinking of other work that needs doing, the bargain is easy to make. And I always walk away happier, more energized for that next job.

Again, I am running strictly for myself right now and basically I have no idea what I am talking about, this is just what my mind and body crave. If you are running for a certain goal or with a date in mind, then this random volume strategy could be foolish or at least pointless. I have no idea.

But I am super thankful to feel like myself again and downright humbled and grateful that my lifestyle provides the luxury of running every day without having to hire a babysitter or drive a long distance or lace up at dark because I have to be showered and in an office by a certain time.

I get to spend my early morning with my husband, drink my perfect coffee slowly, tidy up the house, feed our farm animals, and then lace up, choosing to run either on the treadmill or around our property (the loop is now .33 miles, yay!) or at one of a few nearby tracks. I love it. I feel very lucky.

So a B for the month of January is a decent start to the new year. I know where I want to improve and have some good ideas of how to get there. Most of all I am happy to be enjoying the process. 

Thanks for the fun writing topic, Marcia, as well as for the welcome to link up!

Run While You Can
XOXOXOXO

Edit: As I finished this blog post Tuesday morning I laced up for an easy 6 mile run. Yesterday’s 9 mile plan was cut to 8.2, then I worked around the house and farm all the rest of the day. I was exhausted beyond what you might feel from a good workout. My whole body and skull hurt so much.

So this morning I was looking forward to an easy run, but I could barely even finish a warm up. I came inside after less than a mile, tried cardio barre (why I thought that would be better is a mystery), and still felt pretty awful. It’s my chest and breathing, I cannot seem to keep any oxygen flowing at all, and my skull still hurts. I tried cleaning the middle field, which is a chore involving raking, scooping, and relocating big wheelbarrows full of manure to other spots around the farm. Again: Why I thought that would be better is beyond me now.

Long story short, by about 11 am I resigned to being actually sick and accepted that my week’s exciting mileage plans were not either derailed or just slightly delayed. I am deciding it’s a matter of perspective, ha. My sweet (if overprotective) husband is on his way home now to make sure I rest.

It’s all about health, anyway. The big picture. Be well, friends! xoxo

 

 

managing your thoughts during a life crisis

As happens to everyone in all circumstances and for a variety of reasons, life has surprised us this week. We had for a nice long while been luxuriating in a sweet little season of ease and contentment, and now out of the clear January blue, Handsome and I find ourselves in the unpleasant thick of external stressors and a handful of hard decisions. 

It’s totally fine. I don’t mean to over dramatize anything; but this bears mentioning. One day this week all of it together gathered like a storm in my heart, and I ached and ached for hours. I went for a long run and cried almost the entire time. Maybe it was the surprise of it all. Maybe it was the sharp contrast of emotion, like the pop-up storms we get here in Oklahoma, when the skies have been so calm and sweet. Violent and shocking. I thought briefly that all of our hard-won peace was lost. (Not just for him and me, by the way, but for our most precious people too.)

Of course it’s not. I know better than that by now. But from time to time peace is ruffled and we have the job of maintaining composure and moving forward in Love. Remembering what is true and how to handle ourselves in crisis is vital. It’s not just about not tail-spinning and making a storm worse; it’s about the difference between surviving and thriving in the midst of it all. 

So that’s what I have to offer today: Some lessons I have learned over the years that this week I had to actively bring to the surface, thinking strategies that can transform a deeply stressful, scary time.

 

managing your thoughts during a life crisis sticker

 

Gratitude is so powerful. Take your pulse and breathe deeply. Carve out some time to look around outside of your pain and take stock of all the good things you see. Good things in the world at large, in your life overall, and in your exact situation. Name them. Focus on the most beautiful, amazing, magical details of whatever you are facing, whatever your circumstances are, both abstract and really precise. Even the ugly seeming parts can have hidden blessings, so give thanks for them too. Gratitude interrupts all kinds of anxiety, for starters, which feels nice, but it also has the power to literally transform the truth of things. You can invite light into a dark space with heartfelt gratitude. It’s a choice you can make even before you think you feel thankful.

Focus on the actionable details of your problem then shed all that anxiety and get moving, get out of your thoughts and trust God. I personally get a little paralyzed when faced with a big problem, but it’s unnecessary. That kind of fear is an illusion. Just look at the thing plainly, knowing it is a temporary crisis, just a problem to be solved. Identify the parts on which you can and should act, asking for divine inspiration and direction if needed , and begin. I find a lot of relief in the knowledge that I am only a part of the solution, that God is sovereign over all of it, even the unseen layers I may never see. Trusting Him with all of that makes seeing my part of the solution and acting less overwhelming. 

Ask largely and expect miracles. I have to occasionally remind myself of how much bigger our answers to prayer have been over the years compared to the problems we have faced. We have been shocked by grief, sure, but we have always been preserved in those times. More often we have been shocked by life-altering miracles, and because of this my underlying fear of “What if…” has eroded to almost nothing. I have learned to reign in my imagination accordingly, wearing blinders to the wildly negative possible outcomes. Instead, I force my thoughts forward and train them on wildly beautiful possibilities and amazing outcomes. Remember all those miracles and happy surprises from your past? Call them up to your mind. Convert your impulses to prayers, asking God for things bigger than you could ever do alone. I know in my bones that He wants to do big things for us and surprise us. 

Recognize that weird internal banter that robs your peace and mute it. Do you ever catch yourself arguing in your own head, either with yourself or an imaginary opponent or even just the situation you’re facing? It’s can be like a dress rehearsal, and I suppose that sometimes it can be useful to help you articulate your thoughts and prepare for a confrontation. But there’s a limit to this banter’s usefulness. I have learned to halt it, to silence the nervous flurry of arguments and deliberately aim my thoughts on something more productive. It makes such a difference in my overall sense of peace and therefore in how I can help my loved ones get through the crisis. Remember all that Worry Door business? It’s still very real. Cracking open that door is dangerous. Silent weird mental arguments counts as worrying. When you hear those demons whispering in your thoughts, mute them. You have power over them.  They have no place in your emotions or your decision-making.

Watch what you glorify. Do you spend a lot of time and energy talking about, or even just thinking about, how big your problem is, or how worried you are? Do you feel that common addiction to complaining about feeling victimized or overworked, etcetera? It’s a trap and a nasty one. Problems are real, but that don’t deserve our worship. Stressed is a real and valid condition, but it should only motivate us, not destroy us. Focusing on a perpetual state of being stressed and sad, weighed down by life, glorifying it instead of using it as fuel, only grows it and weakens us. Choose to glorify the healing forces in your life. Spend time and energy glorifying how excited you are about the brewing solutions and the future. Talk about and rest your imagination on how blessed you are, how capable, how far grown. Actively speak Love over the situation. Every detail of it.

worry prayers graphic

 

Thanks as always for checking in, friends. Handsome and I and all of the Lazy W characters are really great! Just taking our pulse in the midst of some very normal life changes. I hope some of this is useful to you for whatever crisis you are facing now or maybe in the future. Because life is certainly full of such stuff. But more importantly life is brimming with Love and beauty and miracles.

“Peace Be Still.”
XOXOXOXO

motivation monday: january fitness so far

Hey hey, it’s Monday! A fabled day for fresh starts and checking in on goals. Let’s review life lately.

I paused just after the holidays to take stock of my health and well being and was pleasantly surprised to be not too freaked out. After enjoying my fair share of December decadence and inactivity, I fluffed up but only a little. For the first time in my adult life I started the year with not so much regret and self loathing but rather just a craving for better food and more sweat. Easy. Simply time to get smoothly back in a groove.

Okay.

January 2-8: Ran just 16.5 sluggish miles total due to some painfully cold, windy weather but added in two cardio barre sessions plus my first aerial yoga class, which was so fun!! After a week of eating better food (more veggies, no sweets) I was feeling more like myself. For the first week of January I just aimed to gradually increase good energy and keep everything in balance with the rest of life. The phrase sustainable healthy habits has been floating in my head. 

We spent lots of extra time playing in the snow, though, which was magical., xoxo
We spent lots of extra time playing in the snow, though, which was magical. xoxo

January 9-15: Ran 38.47 total miles, and my mind and body were much more comfortable this week. Thanks to my new Garmin I am getting a grip on my actual average pace and heart rate fluctuations, which is fun, if slightly too easy to get obsessed with. I was joking with a friend recently that first I was obsessed with my weight, then my long distance ability, then my pace, and now I think about being skinny and running fast and far but with a low HR. If it’s measurable, it’s never enough. Ha. 

  One day this week was really exciting. While running 400m repeats I felt this deep surge of energy andtook off on a straight path, hitting a 6:05 pace over and over. So thrilling! My belly had that sparkler effect going on, do you know what I mean? A completely different runner’s high than long distance endorphins. When I laced up that day I only intended to run off some stress; the speed work was a pleasant surprise, and to boot I met a local girl who is training for her first marathon in April, yay! Hopefully we’ll bump into each other again soon.


garmin 6 C

Besides running, this past week I grabbed a couple of hours of cardio barre (just internet videos I follow at home, I have decided this is much better for my body than even light weightlifting) plus one more aerial yoga class, which was even more of a workout than the week before. If you can find an aerial yoga studio in your town, runners, give it a try. Such a great full body stretch, and what an incredible upper body strength challenge. WOW. Meredith and I go to OKC for our third class tonight. Yesssss…

aerial girls C

 

Food Notes: Among so many healthy and delicious meals lately, one accidental combination stands out: I assembled a plate of two cooked eggs (omelette style, not quite scrambled) with a sliced raw pear, an ounce of mozzarella cheese, and a pile of good dark green lettuce. The lettuce was dressed with lemon juice and just a scant half tablespoon of olive oil and lots of black pepper and sea salt (my favorite salad dressing, ever). The olive oil pooled beneath everything, which made the eggs extra decadent and the last few bites of raw pear something otherworldly. Those few pear slices were coated with olive oil and black pepper, slick and flavorful and mouthwatering. Delicious. So good. This accident will become a repeat performer.

  By the way, Genevieve and I are on a mission to prove that any good entree can be translated to a salad. Omelette with pear on the side? Yes. Adding it to the list. Sushi? The jury is hung on a lettuce technicality.

This Coming Week: Monica from Run Eat Repeat has been hosting a fun and informational daily running camp which has been fun, so going forward I’ll continue to check in with her. I’m also planning to run more or less according to this Hal Higdon advanced marathon training plan (today begins week four). Loving raw kale and chicken breast. Loving eggs and Greek yogurt. Junk food cravings are fading to the background, happily. Loving cardio barre and of course aerial yoga. Loving lots of time playing outside and getting a grip on our many farm projects for 2017. I feel like January is starting off pretty great.

I hope your month has started well too, and I hope that whatever plan you are following to feel good bodily that it also helps you feel good emotionally. That matters. 

And with that, I am off to start this day!

“A feeble body weakens the mind.”
~Jean Jacques Rousseau
XOXOXOXO

 

 

in the midst of winter, an albert camus poem

Hello friends, happy Saturday! Are you frozen, cuddled up somewhere and thinking of comfort food? Or are you making plans to seize the day because like Choctaw, Oklahoma, your town has dodged another winter bullet? However your January Saturday looks, I have a small, luscious dose of literature to share. Maybe it will warm you a little.

Albert Camus was an Algerian writer living in France during and following the Nazi occupation. Brought up by proletariat parents and active in journalism during a fascinating chapter of history, he contributed to the world a sea of newsy, theatrical, and philosophical writings for all of his 47 years (Camus was killed in a car wreck). In 1957 he became the second youngest recipient of the Nobel prize in literature.

The poem below is one of his that I have personally loved for many years, and as casual readers are free to do I have always gleaned from it whatever I wish, whatever I need at the time. Lately, I appreciate the idea that we can nurture within ourselves a wellspring of joy, health, and light. Not humanism, by the way, just a deliberate sort of well-being and faith.

I understand the need for all the seasons, including the dying and waiting times like winter and grief; but I also believe strongly in the power of gratitude and joy to transform our circumstances. Imagine building a little greenhouse for our own happiness. Like growing our own gorgeous food, cultivating our own private sense of health and joy frees us from relying so heavily on outside circumstances to be content, you know? If we can from the inside out, by our own volition, change some perspective and even actual life circumstances? Rule over them? Quite a tempting thought.

My dear, in the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy.
For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me,
within me, there’s something stronger-
something better, pushing right back.

An easy little dig about Camus lead me to a school of thought called absurdism and, friends, it’s pretty interesting. It teases to the differences between an absence of hope and actual despair: “…the total absence of hope, which has nothing to do with despair, a continual refusal, which must not be confused with renouncement – and a conscious dissatisfaction.” Does this sound to you like a little echo that despair is a choice, and so maybe also is joy? 

I hope you like this poem. And I hope that whether you are simply unhappy with the cold and the dormancy of January (like my husband) or whether you are in a true valley of despair, one of those times in life when you are pressed on all sides by difficult, negative outside forces, that you find within yourself all the love, smiles, calm, and summer. I hope you can gather whatever strength you need and improve your circumstances.

You absolutely can cultivate within yourself an endless summer. All those big and little ways you have learned to nourish yourself emotionally and bodily, spiritually, all of it, they are important and valuable. I hope those seeds germinate and sprout right when you need them to. I hope they bloom and brighten your scenery and attract the right people you need and want.

red amaryllis C

And I hope you find some disco balls, yarn crafts, jungle greenery, and other things that please you to make the picture complete.

No despair. Bring on the cold.
XOXOXOXO