Lazy W Marie

reading & watching lately

September 15, 2018

Hey friends, happy Saturday! I hope if this is your weekend that you enjoy a long, deep drink from exactly the well of refreshment you need most. No doubt you have earned it.

For me, refreshment will mean cuddles and extended leg braids with my husband, and hopefully big bowls of plain popcorn and a great movie. It means one more easy run, maybe with friends, and as much yoga and foam rolling as I can slow down for. (It’s been a great mileage week and I need the stretch.)

Refreshment could mean a few fun outings around town, some gardening, one exceptional birthday party for our friend Jason, and also making substantial progress on the Lazy W Outreach Batmobile. I am so pumped about my husband’s newest project and cannot wait to tell you everything!

In case your idea of refreshment is reading and watching soul-nourishing stuff, here is a list of treasures I have found lately.

Kindness Diaries This is a Netflix series that chronicles a globe-trotting social experiment about generosity between strangers. I found it by accident a few months ago. Now Handsome and I watch it together. The episodes are short (really short) and sweet (really sweet) so you can easily fit them into your busy life anytime your spirit needs a boost. The globe-trotting set up also means you get to learn about all kinds of places and cultures in a slightly different way, something more casual and less anthropological. Please sample this beautiful show for yourself, cuddled up with your people if possible. While not always easy to watch, the program is family friendly. And I love the overarching message that while the world from a great distance can be harsh and terrible, up close there is more than enough light to dispel the darkness. I cannot even say how much I love that.

“I realized on my journeys that all though we may be different religions, although we may be different colors, although we may live in different countries, we are all the same,” ~Leon Logothetis

Book of Joy: Can’t stop, won’t stop. I am on my third pass now, making note of my own notes from the first pass and organizing my thoughts and emotional responses along the way. Every day I find new layers and brighter echoes. This slim volume speaks to so many lessons I have been learning over the past eight years or so. And although the three authors are from different “religions” than any to which I have ever ascribed, all of it complements my deepest spiritual faith so cozily, I honestly feel like I was always meant to read it. Have you ever felt that way about a book?

Related, here is some exciting news: My friend Kellie recently listened to The Book of Joy on audio, liked it so well she is now reading the print version and agreed to discuss with me soon. Kellie S. is great at deep conversations. I am very excited. I happened to hear that our other friend Kelley F. had read it years ago and wants to discuss (yay! She is SO smart and I can’t wait to get better acquainted with her!), and still another friend Meredith (yes we all know each other already!) started reading it this week. I’m not even done. Brittany from Colorado (and Sante Fe and Paris and my dreams) checked it out at the library, as did my new internet-local running friend Jessica who is fast like lightning and bakes sourdough more than I do, and I know they will both love it. As of early this morning, our very own Handsome has also downloaded and started reading the book! He said he wants to finally see what it is I can’t stop talking about.

We have ourselves a small, intimate study group focused on a supremely worthwhile book.

Deep breath from all of that excitement!

Speaking of deep breathing… This article on the mindbodygreen website was super thought-provoking. It gave me a fresh look at the wellness of our little household, especially as the days cool down and shorten. Two things to which I have been trying to pay attention are micronutrition and rest. When I need energy, instead of thinking first about food or caffeine, I stop to breathe deeply and stretch. Maybe drink water or have a small piece of fruit, then wait to see how I feel in a bit. I think this practice has helped my digestion too, if you have read much about Ayurvedic medicine. It certainly helps me with mindfulness. If you read the article, I would love to hear your thoughts.

An Autumn Mindset: The Inspired Room is such a gracious source for ideas and motivation on how to keep house and decorate, but in a lusciously gentle, meaningful way. I love love love her annual autumn nesting series, and this year it all begins with this mindset post. So perfect. My gosh. And doesn’t this quote apply to every season, every effort we make at home?

Cultivating an autumn mindset begins with quieting the noise of what everyone else is doing so we can actually focus on the simple joy of creating our own cozy sanctuary.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor? Last but not least, the Fred Rogers documentary. We curled up with some comfort food one evening and watched this, and it was just perfect. Better than I expected, more interesting and more emotional. I am so grateful to have been raised on television like this and Sesame Street. And as we watched, I learned more about my husband’s childhood, too.

What have you been watching and reading lately?

Full disclosure: As I edit and try to post this for you, Shameless series 7 is playing in the background. The show is fascinating and prompts lots of great conversation, but it does require a palette cleanse here and there, haha. Hence, the list above.

Enjoy!

“There is no normal life that is free of pain.
It’s the very wrestling with our problems
that can be the impetus for our growth.”
~Fred Rogers
XOXOXO

motivation monday: 26 things we can endure

September 11, 2018

Happy Monday! Here’s a quick bit of motivation for your fresh new week.

As I was wrapping up my run this morning I was tired and hungry and honestly amazed by how drenched in sweat I was despite the cool temps. (Hashtag humidity)

I could easily have stopped right there at 7 miles to eat and rest but wanted very much to start the week with a good, solid ten miles, hungry or not. It just sets the tone for all kinds of productivity and high energy work at home. So I distracted myself thinking of how many things we can endure if we choose to.

Human beings can really endure some stuff!

Just for fun, here is a list of endurance trophies we can earn for ourselves. Most of them are running related, but not all. And as always the running lessons translate beautifully into the rest of life.

In celebration of Boston Marathon registration opening this week, I made the list exactly 26 items long:

Hunger or thirst (just imagine that first drink or first bite, it will be so delicious!)
Boredom (cultivate a strong, flexible, inventive mind. Put your imagination to good use!)
Copious amounts of sweat
Wet feet & slippery socks
Chafing
Sore muscles
Sheer exhaustion
Anger
Sadness
Stress
Distractions (Practice new ways to slow down & focus.)
Hot hot hot sun like it will kill you
Rain like it might flood and also drown you
Loneliness
Self Doubt (long runs are excellent opportunities to prove yourself wrong about some insecurities.)
Disappointments (“Sweet isn’t sweet without the sour.”)
Shock
Grief (Have you read the Buddhist Mustard Seed parable yet?)
Tight finances & limited resources (Some of our happiest memories have been made when we were flat broke.)
Awkward social situations
Mondays. (Make ’em count!)
Long drives through Kansas or the Oklahoma Panhandle (I mean probably)
That awful pleasure-pain of a deep tissue massage
Waiting for a prayer to be answered (Trust Him, it is worth it.)
Listening to an ok writer try to tell a story verbally. (See #20.)
Winter

Speaking of human endurance, when the time is perfect for her I will be so excited for you to read what my sister Angela has to share. She has endured far more than some hard miles in fancy shoes by choice. She is the real deal, and her life proves that endurance is vital and life-giving. We can absolutely survive more than we think we can, and it makes the other side of things so much more beautiful when we make it.

Hang in there, friends, endure it!!

“Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing
but to turn it into glory.”
~William Barclay
XOXOXOXO

a different mustard seed parable

September 9, 2018

Friends, here is a Mustard Seed parable for you to soak in. But probably not the one you already know. One of the hundreds of delicious little treasures I want to share with you from The Book of Joy is a new way to think of grief and how it connects us to each other.

This story is a Buddhist fable shared by the Dalai Lama. I’m just going to quiet the short paragraph directly from the book:

“A woman lost her child and was inconsolable in her grief, carrying her dead child throughout the land, begging for someone to help heal her child. When she came to the Buddha, she begged him to help her. He told him he could help her if she would collect mustard seeds for the medicine. She eagerly agreed, but then the Buddha explained that the mustard seeds needed to come from a home that had not been touched by death. When the woman visited each house in search of the mustard seeds that might heal her son, she discovered there was no house that had not suffered the loss fo a parent, or a spouse, or a child. Seeing that her suffering was not unique, she was able to bury her child in the forest and release her grief.”

It doesn’t have to be death, though that is a loss that will eventually unite all of us and possibly the one we all fear the most. I can easily think of several bright, terrifying moments of grief in my own life that have actually softened the more I looked around and saw that other people had lived through the same, or worse. Usually much worse. I bet you would agree.

Seeing that her suffering was not unique, she was able to release her grief.

There’s a lot of comfort available in a loving community. And if we can open up enough, there’s a lot of healing and learning that can happen too. How do people survive trauma? How do they make sense of tragedy? How do they cope, and how do they thrive despite their circumstances and mistakes?

In friendships where I feel comfortable sharing the darkest chapters of our family’s story, and when I can be steady-nerved enough to listen to other people’s darkest chapters, God always shows up. He always showers this peaceful, soothing veil over all the chaos and fear. He answers by reminding me that we are not alone. We are neither the first nor the last to be terrified, and His Love accomplishes actual miracles.

Things are hardly ever as bad as they feel when we think we are alone. When we think our suffering is unique.

Relax a little, into some trusted community. Dare to open up to other people’s suffering, if only to realize how not unique your own suffering is. Then let all of that emotion turn into compassion. And let that compassion turn to hope.

Check in again soon for more about community (Ubuntu, in the African tradition) and a couple of delicious mustard seed recipes. I wanted to include all of this together, but it’s just so much.

Happy Sunday friends. Thank you for checking in.

“A person is a person through other persons.”
~Archbishop Desmond Tutu
XOXOXO

friday 5 at the farm: highlights from the week

September 7, 2018

Five Stories & Memories Worth Keeping from Labor Day Week, 2018:

#1 Nourished

We welcomed September with a Polish feast at our beloved Sperrys’ home.

Pierogis (first for me!), kielbasa, sauerkraut, a big crunchy green salad, and then dessert…

Dessert may not have been authentically Polish, but I guarantee nobody cared. It was called “Banoffee Pie,” and it has changed our lives.

It’s a prebaked pie shell filled with slices of banana, which are drowned in a sea of homemade caramel, and all of it is then topped with a thick cloud of homemade whipped cream, and then some grated dark chocolate because Kellie loves us a lot. I googled the recipe and discovered that sometimes they are made on a shortbread crust, which I am sure is delicious as well. We ate it fresh that night with Kellie and Mickey; then we nibbled leftovers greedily for two full days. It’s one of those desserts that gets better with a little time in the refrigerator. Yum!

Evenings with the Sperrys are so great. We always eat well, which is sharing a meal, which is different than just grabbing a bite with someone. We laugh a ton. And we have deep and meandering, free-form conversations about anything and everything, all four of us. It’s pretty great.

Complete with so many pup cuddles, too. We are in love with their three dogs. This time, after dinner we joined them for a walk around the block. Don’t you love it when your friendships begin to include not just the big, orchestrated events but also the simpler pleasures and routines in life?

#2 Season of Transition

Pool Season 2018 has been winding down. Every week, we have tried to spend as much time out there as possible. Whether we were in the thick of a tropical heat wave or hunkering down beneath more heavy rain, the pool has been surprisingly comfortable. But those temperature swings and the growing algae are making it all unmanageable. So Labor Day Week is very likely pool closing week at the W.

We are thankful to have been swimming for so many consecutive months this year. It’s been a lot of fun, especially with Bill the Rodeo Inflata-Bull. Ha! In fact, on Wednesday afternoon Jess (our youngest) brought a friend to the farm. They had a pretty entertaining competition over who could stay on longest. It seems there is a technique to not just staying on, but also to the getting on in the first place. If Summer 2019 includes more chlorine rodeo fun, we may have to agree upon a scoring system.

P.S. I often tell the kids when I snap photos of them visiting the farm, that I will not share the photos online, haha! This is really tragic because they are all gorgeous kids and always take such fun and interesting photos! Anyway. Please enjoy, instead, a photo of our dinner table garden bouquet and Jessica’s homemade pumpkin pie. Absolutely delicious! She altered the recipe in a few ways, and everyone loved it!

#3 Back to Work

Having enjoyed so much time off together in August, this first week of Septemeber, although slightly shortened thanks to Labor Day, felt weird without Handsome at home.

The shift in weather definitely enhanced the overall feeling of a new season. It’s almost like back to school, although those particular autumn routines are far in our household’s past. Each “workday” for me this week has been packed with productivity, and my energy has been good and steady. I am noticing that Virgo draw toward deep cleaning and lots of order. I just miss our late lunches and easy afternoons, chilling together. xoxo It was another very good staycation.

#4 Wet, Unfueled Run & God’s Timing

I had planned on a 12 mile run for early this morning. I ate a good dinner Thursday night and slept well. Unfortunately, we woke up to not just the predicted rain, but flash flood warnings. I normally would eat a bite of peanut butter toast or something before a run that long, but given the time crunch, I decided to just get to the trail asap and grab as many miles as possible, then see what the day might hold. (Treadmill finish is always an option.)

I ran and ran, giving thanks for the excellent glycogen stores from last night’s chicken and broccoli-rice, clicking off one mile at a time. The rain stayed soft and gentle, with lots of black clouds but no lightning and no floods. So I kept running. Eventually, I hit 9 miles at that easy pace then got really tired and really hungry, haha. Then the asphalt got slippery, so all of that together meant that I slowed down quite a bit. The morning finished with exactly 11 miles, injury free, ha!

This story is worth remembering because YES we can do more than we are prepared to do and because YES if God’s timing can be trusted with the big miracles in life, then surely His timing can also be trusted with little things. One mile at a time.

#5 Thoughts on Loop

I almost cannot stop thinking about a few topics:

Adaptogens and adaptation, not just in health and fitness but in all areas of life. Humans are so adaptable!
Will I ever be able to grow zucchini again without squash bugs making me crazy? (spoiler alert, unlikely)
The fine line between prayer and meditation and how slow-paced running is definitely related
The movie Interstellar (which I haven’t seen in a couple of years but the themes are always with me)
Granola, mostly pumpkin infused with lots of coconut, nuts & seeds, and dark chocolate
Exactly what to plant in the two big rubber troughs flanking the barn mural

Regarding those trough planters in the above photo: I have some ideas but would love your suggestions! They are both filled almost to the top with well rotted manure, they get eastern exposure, and they are some of the first things you see before parking your car along the gravel drive. I would love some ideas for year round liveliness or at least seasonal color. Thanks!!

Bonus Content:

Friends, we have a few huge miracles brewing, from several areas of life. We have for so many months asked for prayer, and we appreciate every single one.

Now we are in a season of giving thanks. Giving thanks for the present moment, for the hope that keeps us moving, and for the ever increasing evidence that God is working behind the scenes in supernatural ways.

Please keep it up! And please know that we are thrilled to send you Love and pray for you every time you need it. Just let me know.

Tomorrow is Jocelyn’s 23rd birthday. I am so happy and so grateful, I keep catching myself giggling and weeping over it all.

God is good. Life is beautiful. The whole adventure is just amazing.

Happy September!! Talk again soon!

XOXOXOXO

the trouble with having a lot of words in your mouth & fingers

September 2, 2018

About a week ago I issued a mild rant on Facebook about how shiveringly cold the stores all seem to be during the summer months. Like, I had been grabbing a few groceries and stopping for farm supplies and maybe caught pneumonia. My fingers were numb, you guys, and dark blue. Full disclosure: Being out and about immediately following a sweaty run makes it all worse, and I had forgotten to bring along dry clothes and warm layers, but still. Facebook complaining is fun. Everyone agreed with me on how bitter cold the stores are. I felt vindicated.

Then this past Thursday morning, I prepared for the situation. I set out for my sweaty miles and subsequent errands with dry clothes and a cozy zip-up jacket in tow. I felt like the smartest adulting adult in town, prepared for the arctic retail world.

Around noon that day, I walked into Sam’s to grab desserts for a party that night. (I have not even told you all about Handsome’s birthday week!) As I entered, the woman attending membership cards and such asked me whether the jacket was a return, or did it belong to me. I launched into a detailed, flowering, and informative discourse about how cold I had been last week, about how in fact my teeth were chattering, and how happy I was to have remembered a jacket this go-round. Obviously, she was about to agree with me, right, and complain a little about the air conditioning or the heat then say good job for remembering a jacket and dry shirt?

Instead, there was an awkward pause, so obviously I filled it with more words.

“It’s just so hot outside, you see, and so cold in here.”

She was non-plussed, just looking at me, not blinking really. Just standing there in her reasonable, climate-appropriate clothing and blue vest with pockets.

“All. you had. to say. is that. it’s yours.” She spoke this plain sentence so carefully that I could see it being diagrammed in the (very cold) air between us.

“Oh, ok, yes, it’s mine.” My voice wavered, having lost all the storytelling enthusiasm from a moment ago. I won’t bother lying to you, friends, it hurt my feelings a little. Did she not agree about how cold it always is in there? Or did she not care? Did I smell bad from sweating profusely? Did I remind her of a mortal enemy?

Which is why I haven’t been blogging much. I have scads of amazing stories to tell you guys, truly amazing ones, stories way better than this, but I literally never know where to start or how to stop or exactly how many details you want. They are all important to me, but what do you want to know?

Do you care about the exact contrast between orange butterflies and hot pink zinnias? Or do you care to read about the drifts of basil I am loving or the hyacinth bean vines that bring everything full circle, or the honeybees? Do you crave to know about how the horses drive me crazy in equal proportion to how much I love them? Or how much my heart is breaking for our friends whose life is recently turned upside down?

Do you want to know how my fitness experiment went in August, or could you use some killer salad ideas? The Book of Joy probably warrants a straight up Lazy W podcast, I am not even kidding you about that. And all the millions of ways that God has been tending to our needs and desires just astound me. I am shivering more from the thrill of all that than from the cold grocery stores lately. This gradual build-up of strong summer energy and the full moon last week and the beginning of a new season of life, parenthood, sibling relationships, books worth reading and why running is actually really important to me. My gosh, the reasons for not writing have nothing with having nothing to write about.

Meanwhile, my paper spiral notebooks are overflowing with daily entries. The farm is thriving. Our marriage is enjoying a burst of life and flavor that make me crave that bubblegum with a juicy center. Gratitude seems too pale a word for it all. And the days slip past too quickly, even with the yet unanswered prayers keeping us grounded and humbled. Thank you for listening. Don’t forget your jacket, ok?

“Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness.”
~Allen Ginsberg, quoted in On Being a Writer
XOXOXOXO

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