Around 5:20 this morning I wobbled myself downstairs to let Klaus outside and achieve Caffienation Level One. I opened my spiral notebook and two devotionals and began waking up slowly, filling my brain with all the good stuff first.
I started writing a stream-of-consciousness gratitude list, and my pen could not keep up with my feelings.
Every day lately I am just plain grateful for so much. It’s this overarching sense of domestic tranquility and peaceful momentum. I’m grateful for physical health and bright, wide-reaching hope for the future of our family. I get these delicious waves of pride for my husband’s professional work, not to mention admiration for everything he does for us here at the farm. And the gardens this year take my breath away. They aren’t perfect, nothing is; but they are lush and strong, wild and productive. Often I walk around and cannot believe I get to live here.
One of my devotionals this week is all about the “Forgotten Art of Biblical Meditation.” I chose it because meditation is such a big ingredient to the Tibetan culture and I loved all the Buddhist expressions of faith in The Book of Joy. All of this together has got me thinking pretty hard about the differences and similarities between prayer and meditation. This sphere of thought nods to using our imaginations to support our prayer lives, too.
Handsome lingered a little before heading to the Commish. They are plowing through a heavy “Windcatcher” case this week (a big deal in Oklahoma), and he knew he would have to stay late again. So he drank coffee slowly with Klaus in his lap, tackled a few quick jobs outside, and during our morning prayer teased me about being able to run a 12-minute mile today. I realized he has no idea how fast I can run, and now I want to prove it to him, ha! On that note, I cannot seem to release the craving to get really fit and learn to run really fast so I can qualify for Boston and just kind of have that under my belt. Most likely, a short list of other fitness related things should happen first, but BQ is there, stubbornly glaring at me from the horizon.
THE HORIZON OF MY IMAGINATION YOU GUYS. (ha!)
After feeding everyone and wrapping up a few more chores around the house, I too set off, but to a nearby park instead of to an office. About three miles into an easy run that was not easy today (thanks Shark Week), my friend Sheila caught me and we shared her cool down. She is training for a faster marathon using the Hansons method, and she is owning every step of it. Incredibly athletic, she is also smart, beautiful, affectionate, holistic, centered, independent, and just plain happy. She’s one of those people whose nearness just makes you feel brighter and sweeter, like drinking good orange juice. Those few minutes chatting and running together was exactly the shot in the arm I needed to finish 7.2 miles. And moving my body helped me sort out my thoughts, too.
That luscious detail of seeing Sheila today just reminds me how much one person’s aura can uplift others. Staying afloat really does matter, to each of us privately, for our own sakes, and to the people we encounter. Thank you, friend.
After a quick stop at Walmart for a handful of forgotten items including face scrub and a tension rod for curtains, I made my way home. Oh. There was a hot tub sitting on the side of the road. We already have one, but I was captivated enough to take a photo.
Once home, Klaus saw the tension rod and tried to pluck it from my hands. Fetch. Always fetch with him. Sweet boy.
My sister Angela texted then called me with some amazing personal news. Something for which she has been hoping and praying came true. We have been praying along with her, and today she learned that the prayer had already been answered last week; today’s appointment is just when she learned the details. God is amazing like that. Providing for and surprising us at every turn. Changing our lives when we let Him.
Around midday, while ironing shirts and folding laundry in the Apartment, I watched a Netflix nature program about plant science. It included lots of anecdotal information about pollinators, too, and I loved all of it. It did, however, almost make me cry because it reminded me of a small bouquet of sunflowers I had cut and brought inside. The gorgeous blooms had each dropped about a Tablespoon of vibrant yellow pollen on the bookshelf where I’d put the mason jar/vase. I was suddenly so sad and regretful to have stolen this meal from our honeybees.
Hey there, hormonal fluctuations of Shark Week, you are not only making running difficult, you are also causing a cheerful bunch of flowers to be sad. Not cool.
Speaking of plant life, the hot pink crepe myrtles are finally blooming, and I am so happy!!
After half an hour of yoga with Tara Stiles, Klaus and I had a late lunch of a grilled chicken wrap and some Greek yogurt with cucumbers and watermelon. Then the rest of Tuesday was spent alternating between gardening and indoor tasks, retreating to the cool house when we were hot down to our skeletons.
Although my physical energy kept dipping, all day my heart felt strong and steady. Life really is beautiful right now. or maybe it always is, and sometimes we just notice it better. Maybe sometimes we are more malleable, more receptive to wonder and more attuned to grace.
Oklahoma enjoyed a lush, rainy June, so our wells and ponds and lakes are full. My heart is full. I feel a depth right now, and a sense of calm for the things we don’t yet see as answered. They already are, of course, just like my sister’s miracle. It is out there, every good thing for which we wait. We just have to hang on and trust, keep watching the horizon.
I hope your Tuesday, whether average or insane, brought you lots of clear vision. I hope your well of gratitude is deep because it will nourish you in dry times. I hope you had some great food today and that, whatever miracle you’re waiting for, you have the strength to imagine it as already accomplished, in outrageously beautiful detail.
“You can choose another thought.”
~Oprah Winfrey, to herself