Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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when you don’t even recognize a chicken

July 20, 2014

Yesterday afternoon the hot sun returned to us. I changed into a swimsuit, took Hemingway’s A Movable Feast out to my favorite chaise lounge, and laid on my belly, propped up on my elbows to read. His simple but seductive descriptions of Paris quickly transported me to the New Orleans’ French Quarter (my closest approximation). It made me want to walk, write, explore, and express the thrumming affection for the French Quarter that has grown in my heart these past several years. Good reading always makes me want to write. It took some effort, but I quieted those impulses in order to really accept what he was offering.

The farm was quiet and calm, making it easy to slip away into another mental scene. The sun heated and seized at my skin until I could feel my pulse in my scalp and my legs were slack and relaxed. One bead of sweat formed between my shoulder blades and tracked in a zig-zag down my back. I was reading about Paris in early spring, when the cold rains threatened both bloom and joy, so the contrast was fun, interesting. It heightened the sense of transport.

Then, with no warning, I heard a scuffle to my left. A crunchy, leafy, noisy explosion from my peripheral there. A young red hen was running and kicking her legs, slashing a path through the undergrowth nearby.

The weird thing is that I was so transported, so disconnected from the farm at that moment, that I didn’t recognize her. I didn’t just not know which hen she was; I could not for several moments even think of what kind of animal she was. What the heck is that? I closed my book and stared at her until the word pulsed silently in the forefront of my mind like a digital cursor, chicken. 

Oh thank goodness, that’s right. Chicken. Okay.

It was a bizarre feeling. But it is also very in keeping with life lately. We are navigating so many unthinkable changes and ongoing heartaches that anything seems possible and nothing feels familiar.

Another bead of sweat formed and raced down my back and Sonia (our fluffy grey cat) mewed and twisted her way over to me, curling up beneath the chaise lounge. A rooster crowed nearby, and I was happy to know he was a rooster. I closed my eyes and took stock of other sounds around the farm, quiet as they were, reconnecting myself to reality.

I need to do this with all of life, too. Stop and take inventory of what remains, of what is real and true and knowable. Especially the plain, simple things. I need to stitch myself slowly and neatly back to the fabric of life, making the tears stronger and calming the frays. (Thank you, Anne Lamott for this easy metaphor.)

june maroon lily

What are you reading this weekend? Does it transport you this vividly? Have you ever felt so disconnected from life that you have to consciously stitch yourself back to what matters? Only you can do this for yourself. Be honest. Maintain clear vision and focus. Take it slow and steady.

And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow;
they toil not, neither do they spin. ~Matthew 6:28

XOXOXOXO

3 Comments
Filed Under: books, faith, thinky stuff

ripe tomatoes & prayers answered suddenly

July 13, 2014

I witnessed the fullness of a miracle this morning, and it came right on time for me.
I am broken-hearted right now, frustrated, hurt, almost paralyzed
by too many life changing worries at once.
And I desperately needed to see that God is still in control.
He reassured me this morning, and I am so grateful.

Sometime late in May I had a few scraggly tomato plants leftover from a market-to-garden bonanza. I had bought and planted and bought and planted until my fingernails were caked with soil and my raised beds were just plain full. Too full, as the weeks since have proven. But still these five or six little seedlings needed a home, along with a couple of jalapeno starts, so I dug up enough narrow holes in the herb garden to accommodate them, thinking, Ah well, if I need to move them later I will. I’m going for a run. Running is my most favorite excuse for procrastinating.

Well, the plants did marginally okay. I decided to leave them there near the Rose of Sharon and hope for the best. They faltered a bit, sagging in the poorer soil of the herb bed then drowning in those monsoon days we had last month. They stayed tiny for weeks. But I left them there, grooming them from time to time, shoring up the soil, providing stakes nearby. I scattered coffee grounds at the base of the tomato plants and scratched marigold seeds around them. Fingers crossed, you know? I had plenty of doubts whether these tomatoes and peppers would survive, let alone produce fruit.

Oh ye of little faith.

Then one day I was at the kitchen sink gazing outside at the voluminous and colorful herb garden, and I noticed that rather out of the blue those scraggly little babies had grown several inches. They were suddenly recognizable tomato plants! They were actually fluffy and beautiful with fuzzy arms, shy yellow blooms, branching elegance, all of it. The stalks were thick enough to stand up to the south winds. It was amazing.

The tomato plants grew and grew, towering lately to about three feet plus as many feet in every direction, laterally. My herb garden is not for the faint of heart. I like things crazy. Then I let the morning glory vines and wasps take over the herb bed and thought perhaps all was lost again.

Well, I didn’t want to give up because I love tomatoes, I really, really wanted those tomatoes. The little sugary cherry kind, the oblong grape kind, all of them. My raised beds out back have the big beefy prize winners (when Romulus isn’t robbing me blind), but in the herb bed I wanted every sweet little speck of juicy red pleasure I could get, and I was sad to think it might not happen.

Oh ye of little faith.

Early this morning after Hot Tub Summit I strolled past the herb garden, two empty coffee mugs in hand, just looking. Enjoying the twisted purple, pink, and white blooms of morning glories not yet open to the sun. Robust sage and parsley plants. Zinnias in every shade of happy confetti. Then I saw them. Heavy, glossy bunches of scarlet red grape tomatoes. Just dripping off the vine, weighing it down almost to the dirt floor.

It literally took my breath away. I’d glimpsed a few green beginnings recently, but the vines were so thick and I was so distracted by other things that I didn’t register where to watch. How many were coming. The green jungle was concealing the surprise being prepared, and today that surprise was revealed. Because even in a thick, shadowy green jungle the color of a ripe tomato is unmistakable.

I collapsed onto my knees and reached in to collect the three or four taut little fruits I could plainly see. I dropped them into one of the coffee mugs, squealing and giggling. They rolled around in the sugary film there, letting a few stray coffee grounds stick to their perfect skin. I felt so relieved that a month and a half ago I took a gamble and jammed those seedlings into the poor dirt here by my kitchen window. Thrilled that every roller coaster detail since that day has swirled together to grow those challenged orphan plants into wild, gorgeous, food-producing machines.

miracle green tomatoes

So I had three or four grape tomatoes in one mug. Then I saw another bunch of them on an adjacent vine and collected those. Then more. I kept plucking and dropping and plucking and dropping until both coffee mugs were packed with brilliant red miracles. And I am not exaggerating when I say that about ten times that many miracles are still green on the vines, waiting patiently for that morning when they will be the surprise, the miracle, the promise come to fruition.

Jeremiah 29: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, ad not of evil, to give you an expected end."
Jeremiah 29: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

What prayers are so desperate in your heart that they seem unlikely to ever be answered, but of course you will not give up on them? Tend those. Don’t stop praying. Look forward to the promise come to fruition. Rest, trust, believe, and watch. Be ready with an empty cup to receive the blessings so fast that your cup overflows.

These are just little tomatoes, of course. I know that. But the glossy red struck me so violently and with so much joy that I knew God was telling me not to give up on some hard things. He bolstered my heart in exactly the way He knew I would hear Him, in my garden. And He will do the same for you if you stay receptive.

Thank you so much for visiting me here. Wishing you a productive summer garden and a life bursting with answered prayers.

Much love from the Lazy W.
XOXOXOXO

9 Comments
Filed Under: daily life, faith, gardening, thinky stuff

my aha moment experience

July 10, 2014

What’s an “aha moment?” Here is the answer offered on the Mutual of Omaha website:

It’s a moment of clarity, a defining moment where you gain real wisdom – wisdom you can use to change your life. Whether big or small, funny or sad, they can be surprising and inspiring. Each one is unique, deeply personal, and we think, worth sharing.

A few months ago I received an email from the Mutual of Omaha group inviting me to participate in a little video campaign. I have to admit, at first it seemed like spam. I was like, suuuuuuuure you want to make a video of me with no ulterior motives or checking accounts in Nigeria. Then I looked into it a bit more and thought, well my gosh. This might be pretty cool after all. So I made an appointment to record at the Myriad gardens and went about my life. I knew my “aha moment” worth sharing would have something to do with positive vibes and the power of imagination. I loosely rehearsed a sentence of two in my head but did not take it any further. For once in my life I was under-scripted. Ha!

Fast forward to a bright, summery day in downtown Oklahoma City. I arrived at the recording spot which was a very cool Airstream trailer and met three of the friendliest people ever born. One guy even wore a trendy mustache. I know. They welcomed me, told me what to expect (which was much more than I had bargained for) and we sat down to record. It was intimidating, all this production; in fact, the only thing that could have made me more nervous is a frog touching my skin. But it was all still lots of fun!

aha moment

Although I only had a sentence or two rehearsed in my mind, the young woman conducting the interview had a slew of gentle, focused prompts to help me tell more of a story. Somehow, owing only to her professionalism and not my verbal skills, we got enough recorded for the video experts to splice together and make about a two-minute video. So, if you can ignore my almost purple face, excessive necklaces, and very shaky voice, because talking is NOT my favorite thing to do, then you might like at least part of this little video clip:

my aha moment   There is so much behind and beyond this, though. Since my “aha moment” has really been a slow evolution, I have a million more things to say about it and am writing background for you, an outline of the reading material and breaks in life storms that have brought me this far. I hope you check back in for that too!

aha moment flowers and plaque

  Have you had an aha moment? What do you think of mine, do you think I’m crazy, or do you agree that imagination is incredibly powerful? Have you browsed around any of the other recorded moments? Lots of cool people in Oklahoma participated. Check them out! Worry is a misuse of the imagination. ~Dan Zadra XOXOXOXO

4 Comments
Filed Under: aha moment, daily life, faith, memories, Mutual of Omaha

stormy pause

July 9, 2014

We woke to more steady, drenching rain, the kind that hypnotizes you, plus generous crashes of thunder. At some point overnight we lost power, too, so the house was warm and quiet, dark despite the hour. Thick, woolly clouds smothered virtually all of our sunrise. We caught just a shimmer of brilliant lightning first in one peripheral and then another, but mostly we felt the muted dark.

The geese honked contentedly. A rooster crowed from inside the coop. The llamas sat on their verdant hill, facing west, right out in the open, getting soaked and more comical looking by the minute. (Have you ever seen a really wet llama?)

No electricity means no coffee*, but that’s okay. It also means a willful, pressing quiet. It means the isolated staccato of rain falling in our chimney. Stillness around me, absent the air conditioner and other humming appliances.

WW candle books

No electricity means I have a chance to sit and reflect with precious few distractions. No laundry or ironing to do, no music, limited life on my laptop battery, no cooking, no sewing, no vacuuming… Lots of thinking. My heart soaks up ideas and emotions while the fields soak up the rain. No electricity is not such a bad thing. And this weather is such a gift! The gardens will enjoy a deep swig of life without my tangled, cumbersome garden hoses; the animals will be cooled all the way down to their dirty hooves; and the dust on our spirits will settle a bit, collecting some much needed energy after yet another devastating life storm just this week.

The power is off for now, but at some unexpected moment later today it will whoosh back on. The lights will blink silently. This modern house will yawn and stretch and rouse herself for another day of work. Our routines will return to us, like they always do. And we will see that life goes on, that storms always pass, that Love still lives here.

The little reed, bending to the force of the wind,
 soon stood upright again when the storm had passed over.”
~Aesop
XOXOXOXO

*About half an hour after he left for the office, Handsome zoomed his car back up to the front door of our house, and I panicked. I thought something was wrong. But he had just returned to the farm to deliver to his electricity-less wife a large coffee from McDonald’s. So, see? A little power outage isn’t so bad. It can be a breeding ground for romance. Even if your guy has to be gone all day. xoxo

6 Comments
Filed Under: 1000gifts, daily life, faith, thinky stuff

Grape Fruits & Good Thoughts

May 27, 2014

Have you eaten a ruby red grape fruit lately? I bought a big bag of them last week and have been enjoying one per day ever since. Each one is massive and almost completely edible, even the white fleshy membranes. So tender. They are juicy beyond belief, like biting into the ocean. But a sweet, tangy ocean. They need neither salt nor brown sugar to temper the powerful flavor, because they are naturally perfect lately. When your teeth grip the pink, webbed meat and fruit juice splashes in your mouth, you can literally hear the vitamins collide with your blood cells (it sounds like sparklers on the Fourth of July), and within minutes your future seems brighter, stronger, more likely to improve. I ate one this morning and my bank account instantly went up by like forty three bucks.*

 

grapefruit

 

I’m a pretty big believer that regarding physical health, what you put into your body matters a great deal, as much as or possibly more than what you do with your body. I believe the same about our minds. What we are able to do with them comes a step after what we allow to seep into them. Or at least, the two are so intertwined that we might as well consider mental input-and-output as one. An infinite circle of thought, whether healthy or toxic. And we all know by now that thought is the beginning of action, is the beginning of habit, is the beginning of path and character, etc…

 

What do you allow into your body, your mind, your home, your heart?
What do you allow into your body, your mind, your home, your heart?

 

That’s about all I have right now. Just some encouragement for you to make conscious choices about what kinds of mental influences you allow in your days. Beyond positive or negative: What schools of thought are your entertaining? What social attitudes, spiritual leanings, and life approaches are regular parts of your thinking diet? I know I have to stop and ask myself these questions once in a while. Unexamined ruts are no good.

Also, buy some ruby red grape fruits. They are spectacular right now.

Eat well, listen well, move better, think better
XOXOXOXO

*disclaimer: this is a lie

4 Comments
Filed Under: daily life, faith, thinky stuff

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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