Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

You are here: Home / Archives for 2018

Archives for 2018

holiday details I want to remember forever

Hi!! How are you, how was your Christmas week? I am still buzzing pleasantly from everything and also trying to take a breath, let it all soak in deeply.

Since, in the best ways, life remains too full for me to slow down and write thorough accounts of each little pleasure, I am seizing this quiet Saturday afternoon to at least mention some highlights from Christmas 2018. It was spectacular in more ways than I can relay. Our home, our family, our circle of friends, everything was drenched in grace and joy. It has really truly been a season of Love coming and going from every direction. Here are some of the memories I hope stay with us forever:

Walking through the Blanchard, OK Christmas parade with our Jedi OKC friends. Handsome was dressed as Batman from the waist up, ha! And he drove his Smokey & the Bandit car, which was laced with twinkle lights. So much fun. Just as the sun was setting, we saw a station wagon pull around the corner, topped with a huge tree and filled with people costumed as the Griswold family. We died from laughter.

I want to remember our fledgling outreach project with the Sweet Sperrys. All those tight hugs from strangers, the ongoing feeling of abundance and gratitude. All the random connections and shared prayers.

How side-splittingly hard my sisters and nieces laughed at Snapchat filters. Hashtag-hotdog-face.

And the fun of distributing gifts with my youngest niece, Kenzie. She is enthusiastic and generous, just like her mama!

May I never forget all the many stolen bits of raw cookie dough I enjoyed while baking so many multiple trays of so many different cookie recipes. All month long, from plain and simple to crazy and decadent. My favorites were the monster cookies and one that resembled shortbread and had orange zest, almonds, cranberries, and coconut. Ok, wait, also maybe the espresso-dark chocolate chip biscotti. I claim to not have much of a sweet tooth, which is true, but when homemade raw cookie dough is available, especially when said dough is loaded with extra textures, I am powerless. For some perspective: the Lazy W kitchen cranked out about 20 separate batches of sweets in a few short weeks. I snuck at least a little bit of each one. That, friends, is a lot of raw cookie dough commandeered by yours truly. I will run so fast in January, right? All that sugar and glycogen??

Let’s hang onto memories of Christmas Eve at my parents’ house and then Christmas Day at the farm. I want to always remember the several hours of cooking fresh Mexican food and the hard laughter and warm cuddles with nieces. I want to always remember how great it feels just to be with my parents and siblings, three generations represented, lots of complementary personalities and deep, abiding Love between us all. And the Saran Wrap game!! My gosh!

I also want to always remember my husband’s idea and the effort he made to surprise my Mom with Chinese food on Christmas Day. She had suggested we all go out to eat at a Chinese restaurant and then see a movie together, but the group consensus was a cuddle puddle instead. So Handsome’s gesture was just so thoughtful. I fell in love with him a little more when he made it happen, never mind that everybody was so stuffed we barely ate any of the food, ha.

How downright excited Klaus got every single time we drove him around looking at Christmas lights. He is so boyish and sweet, it hurts a little.

And his discovery of empty wrapping paper tubes. Over the course of the month, he shredded at least four and I am not allowed to throw them away. He continues to guard the slobbered little bits of cardboard as much as he loves his plush toys.

That house at southeast 44th and Harrah Road. My gosh!! It was so festive in daylight hours, with about fifteen inflatables, but at night? The Las Vegas of rural Oklahoma.

How happy and friendly the general public has been all season. Kind of amazing.

Time with my girls. And Jocelyn texted on Christmas Day!

Time with friends.

Downtime and daily routines with my boys.

Watching the pond and probably Meh through the upstairs hallway window. xoxo

Small Group Christmas reception! It was also our one year anniversary as part of this monthly gathering. We had lots of fun. I need to tell you more about this tiny community soon.

Paperwhites, to me, are a perfect expression of the gentle anticipation we all feel around Christmastime. The watching and waiting, the silent vigil, the growing excitement (ha!), and then all the fragrance when the white petals finally open. God with us, the coming, the fragrance of the Holy Spirit when He is near.

Oh. Guess what. I planted mine late this year, but they still grew tall and strong, green and glossy all the way through Christmas weekend. Then, true to the magic of the season, I saw white tufted blossoms sitting quietly the night Jess came to the farm to open her gifts this past Friday night. Is that not beautiful? I love how God orchestrates the details for us. I could never have arranged that on my own. And? He makes something so good (perfectly timed blossoms) out of my mistake (planting the bulbs late). Okay. Let’s remember that gift.

Amazon Prime. Amen and amen.

Glorious, easy, pleasant, miraculous Oklahoma weather. Good weather just makes everything so simple. Would a snowy wonderland be picturesque? You bet. But in our state, those rarely happen without the attendant ice storm, power outage, and car wreck extravaganza. So I will take the gift of springlike weather very thankfully.

Watching The Neverending Story at home, wearing pajamas, thinking about how beautiful the holidays have been.

Many of the details and lots of our traditions are the same as before. But this Christmas has felt different. It has felt different since summertime, really, and in ways that I suspect will last. This underlying sense of permanence makes every gift more glittering, every day glowier, and every every job more meaningful.

What is left to cause us fear? What is left to keep us from feeling joy? 

I mean it is all a stunning amount of joy, and this is the top of that iceberg. I loved Christmas 2018, and I love even more the confidence that our Joy is planted. God is with us now and always. Christmas cannot end.

“If our tigers and hunters are now gone,
then our futures can shimmer out of the darkness.”
~Mowgli, 2018
XOXOXOXO

a run down of our festive month so far

In the week or so since I last wrote to you, we have been supremely busy with all manner of Christmas festivities. Actually, since long before that, this has been the case. Ever since Halloween, the Lazy W and our friends and family have been ALL IN with the winter holidays, and we love it! I just have not slowed down often enough to type out the stories. Today I’ll try and catch us up with headlines and snapshots.

 

A family wedding! My gosh. Did you even know that Dante, my first ever nephew, has married his California sweetheart? It was a magical, spontaneous family event in Bricktown followed by some delicious Greek food and a great big cake from Sam’s. Just mountains of love and laughter. Our hearts all bursted open with Love.

And this past week he shipped out to basic training for the Air Force. Words fail me, really. It has been quite an evolution in our family. (Maybe I can get my sister, his mom, to wrote for you about this.)

Sunday, December 9th: After chores and a quick run, my husband treated us to a fancy lunch date at Penn Square Mall, then we did come clearance shopping at Old Navy. (Gotta have balance, right?) We also went to the OKC Zoo with Mickey and Kellie, then the four of us also walked through the Yukon Christmas lights display together. So fun!

Monday, December 10th: That evening we went to OKC to attend our niece Chloe’s winter strings orchestra concert. Absolutely beautiful, nostalgic (I love how schools smell), and Christmassy! She is a talented violinist and a beautiful, witty young lady. We love her so much. Afterwards, Mom treated everyone to ice cream at Braum’s, yum!

Thursday, December 13th: Jess surprised me with a quick visit and brought along a teensy-tiny puppy she was fostering! His name is Jax, and watching her with him melted my heart. Little Jax has yet to find a permanent home, but the jury is out on whether Jess will make this commitment. 

That afternoon I also had the chance to help out at a second grade classroom party, which was seriously so fun. My husband’s employees have kind of adopted a few classrooms at an underprivileged grade school near the Capitol, and once in a while I get to join the fun. Sugar, laughter, more sugar, Home Alone on the classroom television, and lots of hugs for the win! The kids were enjoying “Pajama Day” when we visited, and I kind of wished I had worn my pink Supergirl onesie.

Friday, December 14th:  Handsome took the day off from the office, so we slept late then soaked up an extra long Hot Tub Summit. Much needed. After that, I made him some breakfast and went for a run. Eventually we got dressed and did some window shopping in OKC (but made zero purchases, ha) and had lots of fun people watching. That evening Mickey and Kellie came to the farm for a cozy meal of appetizers and some deep spiritual talking. Christmas feels different for all of us this year, and it merits some separate writing.

By the way, when Kellie and I were texting each other a meal coordination plan, we had settled on “easy, cozy appetizers.” I made naked chicken tenders for protein and some cheddar sausage balls per my husband’s request. I had carrots with hummus, zuchinni, apples, and a green salad ready in case we were extra hungry. This is what my elegant friend brought:

Kellie claims to have shopped at Trader Joe’s while hungry, ha! But truly, she always feeds us gorgeous, elegant food like this. I wasn’t mad. I never am. And my plain old carrots, hummus, and apples stayed in the fridge. Ha!

Saturday, December 15th: What a day! Handsome and I romanced the daybreak, then I showered and shopped for last minute groceries. Around lunchtime, Jess and her friend Mercedes drove to the farm for some Christmas baking. We made sugar cookies, gingerbread men and mooses (meese?), chocolate nut clusters, and saltine toffee. These girls are incredibly artistic and so much fun. We had a blast!! The afternoon was a whirlwind of sugar and silliness, and I will hold the memories in my heart forever. 

I asked them to smile for a photo and they both grabbed a bottle of buttercream and did this.

Mercedes made two excellent frosting varieties in several gorgeous colors. Wonderful!!

Sunday, December 16th:  The early morning was spent doing chores, packing up more sweets from Saturday’s efforts, and grabbing a gym workout. (I’m enjoying some flexibility with exercise lately, not limiting myself to only running.) Midday, we got dressed up as Batman and Supergirl and took a big, red velvet bag full of toys and candy to the Fairgrounds. The Jedi club participates in a special event hosted by the District Attorney’s office, and it has become one of our favorite events. It is all to benefit a few hundred at-risk children in the area. Heart breaking and heart warming, all at once. 

We touched base with everyone at the farm, giving extra hay and cuddles, then drove back to the city for a going away party for our nephew Dante. This was the night we all gave him our farewell love before he left for boot camp on Tuesday. We all gathered at Mom and Dad’s house to play games and make one more big, fat, happy pile of memories. We all love Dante so much and are so proud of the young man he is becoming.

Sunday night was fun and a great preview to Christmas fun next week too. Genny is coming to town! 

In the cozy spaces between all of this fun, we have been driving through Choctaw and Harrah neighborhood looking at Christmas lights, watching our favorite December movies, playing fetch with the world’s most insatiable German Shepherd, and trying to balance party food with salads, broccoli, and chicken breasts, ha! It is working, more or less. Maybe. Yikes.

 

This year we have indulged in some community outreach, in new and more interesting ways. And my mornings are more often than not spent reading a couple of devotionals as well as the Bob Goff book, Everybody Always. We also gather somewhat regularly with Mickey and Kellie to pray and discuss some spiritual matters. The four of us trade prayer requests and stories about how life is going, and we make an effort evolve toward what we think God is asking of us. It has been quite an experience. Again, lots more to tell there. 

Friends, this blog post is weird, I know. I have been trying to patchwork it together for days, ha! I just needed to drop a pin on life right here, so I can move forward with a few more specific stories. I have things to tell you and things I want to always remember. So much incredible beauty and synchronicity is feeding us, keeping us afloat, I can hardly believe it.

Have you seen the new Mowgli yet?

“With the tiger and hunter now gone,
the future shimmered from darkness.”
XOXOXOXO

 

out of the blue and in his perfect timing

Two Wednesdays ago, I had already planned to drive to the City to see Jess and go shopping with her for eyeglasses, hopefully grab lunch together, and do some early Christmassy fun stuff, too. You may already grasp what a beautiful blessing just this much is in our life, this normal mom-and-daughter afternoon. A year ago it was a brand new chapter, and I have been grateful every day since. But this week, we had another surprise.

In our planning texts, Jess asked casually how I would feel about her big sister joining us. My contact with Joc has been almost non-existent this past year, though I do hear updates through loved ones here and there and my intense dreams about her have not slowed down. But this would be our first in-person meeting in many months, and for it to happen by her choice made it extra meaningful. 

 

Silliness, beauty inside and out, & pure joy!! xoxoxo

My baby girls are young women now, ages 23 and 21, both fully engaging in life with all of its light and darkness, all of its thrills and terror and beauty and ugliness. They are as similar as twins yet wildly different. And they are two of the most resilient, deeply feeling, and vital people you will ever meet. Seeing them together, across from me, after so many years is an immeasurable joy.

Jess treated us to rolled ice cream after a romaine-free Tex-Mex lunch.

A few days before this, though I never told anyone, I was kind of on the edge of despair. For all my talk of gratitude and hope, faith and trust, I certainly have little stretches of time when the facts get too loud and scary, and I begin to doubt.

That Monday morning I was driving to the lake for a run and cried out loud to God, kind of spontaneously, “When are you going to bring her back?! I miss her so much!! Just bring her back!” Had you been in the car with me, friend, you might have described my outburst as a shriek. And not a lovely one. It was guttural and unplanned.

Though brief, all of that felt too much like anger, which is dangerous territory for me. So I tempered it with deliberate prayers of trust, shaping my thoughts and words with effort, making sure to verbalize that His timing is perfect, that I know it’s more important for her to be safe and happy than it is for me to have her close by.

You know that sometimes with motherhood, sometimes it is an impossible separation for us, to ever stop craving our children. Sometimes I miss them so much I feel like screaming or vomiting. Selfish, but there it is.

So I quieted myself and ran those solitary miles and went on with my work day at the farm. Next came a few days of extra spiritual/emotional work, choosing to trust Him when it did not come easily. And I will tell you that God was merciful. He sent me some relief, emotionally. I just felt softer, safer, more assured in those days. And forgiven for my outburst, too.

Then came Jessica’s text Wednesday morning. My hands were shaking, and I cried and giggled until my jaws clattered against each other.

Then my long drive to Oklahoma City, anticipating Jocelyn’s face, her ebony eyes, her smell, her slender arms and sneaker-clad feet. I had seen her from a distance recently, while driving, but that she hadn’t seen me. 

When I found my girls together, they were happy and laughing, curling their hair. We spent just a moment in suspense, feeling the space between us, then we hugged tighter than ever. I laughed until I cried, again. And those slender arms squeezed me back. She was 23 and newborn and 9 years old and home with me and on a mountain top in Estes park and there in her sister’s apartment, all at once.

We spoke carefully at first, but that did not last long. All this joy and ease, all of this delicious energy, just poured out of us, into the room, filling the space between the three of us. I could taste the Love.

This is exactly the kind of thing that is both out of the blue and completely “on deck,” if you know what I mean. It is something for which we have been praying, and we have trusted and built up our faith stone by stone, but we could never know when the answer would come. In fact, sometimes the answer comes in glimpses, and that’s ok.

Last November, life was so different. We were stunned and fearful. I wrote this almost exactly a year before this thrilling reunion two Wednesdays ago:

I have spent the last two weeks soaking this answered prayer deep into my bones.

I know more is coming.

I know that God hears us. He is worthy of our trust, and He has better answers than we could every imagine on our own, certainly better solutions than we could construct ourselves. I’ll happily take these glimpses of joy while we wait and trust. 

Whatever miracle you are waiting to see, please keep believing that the best is yet to come. Please muster the oxygen to fuel your faith, and fan each other’s flames too because we all need the warmth. Joy is coming. miracles are very real.

XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a solid week of giving thanks

Hello, friends, happy last week of November to you. We are here at the farm taking deep breaths and settling into our coziest, happiest early winter vibes, having properly celebrated a full week of Thanksgiving. We feel deeply grateful. And full. Our hearts and our bellies are so very full. It hurts a little, but it’s ok.

Last week our gatherings were a delicious mix of romance and solitude, friends and family, and a dash of community outreach. We spent our days and evenings mostly together, and I loved it. Klaus’ brother Lincoln was also with us until Saturday, which greatly added to the holiday cheer.

We exercised gently when it felt good and we had the time. We ate endless feasts of our favorite traditional foods. We watched movies at home and napped shamelessly. We completed fun projects around the farm, had a couple of prayer meetings with precious friends, and started making big, happy plans for Christmas. 

Flower bed clean up!

My parents hosted the local family on Friday evening. This year, none of our coastal siblings came to Oklahoma for Thanksgiving, and neither of my girls were with us (Jess was with her Dad’s family on Thursday, excited that her brother is in town from college, wahoo! Then she came down with strep throat, poor girl). We also are missing Grandpa Rex an awful lot. We could have focused on the people not with us, and in fact missing Jocelyn so acutely right now, I cried a lot on our drive to the City.

But somehow, the collective joy and laughter were powerful enough to drive out any sadness. I so appreciate this about my family. Everyone is so fun loving and light hearted, no matter what difficulty we are facing. Sometimes, I think, we are silly to spite what we are facing. And we have faced plenty over the years.

There’s a whole funny story about this moment that will probably lose all its humor in translation so just trust me here.

Mom, Angela, and I divided the menu, and I dare say conquered it. Three generations ate like kings and queens. Afterwards, everyone was able to fill their refrigerators with excellent leftovers. 

We played board games after dinner, and thanks to some magical November weather, the kids played outside.

My nephew Dante and baby brother Phil. Love them so much!!
Our Dad built this swing set for us when I was still in middle school. Now the little kids love it, and I bet they don’t even know that once I fell from it and busted my head open and got stitches and still have the scar.

On Sunday, Handsome and I welcomed several close friends at the farm for a low-key Friends-giving. Two fine humans named Kellie and Mickey arrived early, rolled up their sleeves, and helped finish all the food prep while we all chatted about deep and joyful new things. I have to say, the four of us make an outstanding team, especially in the kitchen. It was lots of fun.

Kale salad with roasted butternut squash and pom seeds, and smoked deviled eggs form Dennis. Amazing flavor!!

About nine adults total gathered and ate buffet style, snuggled up in our living room, where Handsome had built us a gorgeous, crackling fire. Everyone who joined us is in a very different life chapter, a mix of hard and beautiful, but we all have been friends for several years and care so much about each other. It was good to catch up in a quiet atmosphere and count our many blessings. Lots of laughter, again. Laughter prevails. Our faces hurt.

Along the way, truly every day this past week, we have felt that glowy warmth of genuine thankfulness. Gratitude for so many huge and tiny blessings. We feel God up close to us and surrounding us, too. He is pressing in, and we press back. Or maybe it’s the other way around?

Guess who can flat foot jump onto a round bale of hay now?

What I know is that it is working, this ongoing effort to improve our perspective a little more each day. Widen our view. Count the blessings that are coming at us like a tidal wave. Love immeasurable and full of hope. 

Thousands of prayers for these kids who are growing so fast…xoxo

Plus, it’s finally Christmas lights season!!

Thanks for reading, friends. I hope your Thanksgiving Week was also filled with love and pleasures. I hope you feel miracles brewing again. I would love to hear all about it.

Check back in soon for slightly more analytical thoughts on gratitude, whether it actually has power to change things.

Over and out!

XOXOXOXO

 

happy hippie holidays at the farm & sending our good vibes to YOU

Hey friends, and a very happy and healthy Thanksgiving Weekend to you! I hope this finds you feeling deeply peaceful, reasonably hungry, wildly loved, and a little excited. You know… all the exact opposite feelings of holiday stress. Because these times are meant for JOY, even when life is hard. It’s okay to let stuff go and lean into the celebration.

Today I want to tell you about a special event we hosted at the farm last week, and how I feel like it is already helping me roll gently into the winter festivities. I hope some of the vibes rub off on you, too.  

Friday evening, Handsome and I, together with my magical friend Sheila, opened the farm to a couple dozen loved ones for an event affectionately dubbed, “Happy Hippie Holidays.” It was the brain child of ours from over a year ago!

Sheila and I first bonded over a mutual love for both running and holistic wellness, and often our conversations meander over to nutrition and “healthy” recipe alternatives. Well, sometime last autumn we had the idea to host a Christmas cookie exchange party but ask folks to bring more nutritious treats instead of the usual sugar bombs. (No offense, sugar bombs! You have your place in the world.)

We couldn’t do it last year, but this year was perfect. We decided to schedule it ahead of Thanksgiving to inspire folks to reconsider their well being in the midst of what is traditionally a needlessly stressful, overeating, under-nourishing, tension-filled season.

It was the simplest party ever. All we did was invite people to the farm for a simple vegetarian meal and a pot luck of healthy treats, plus outdoor yoga and tai-chi. Sheila volunteered to lead the yoga flow, and my friend Raylene, who is a certified tai-chi instructor, led that. Both were sublime.

Every single day since the event, someone has called or texted me to say how good the yoga felt and how fascinating and inspiring the tai-chi was. Raylene taught us several meditation-type thought framing exercises that I know will help us dissolve those building holiday tensions. (Draw energy from your belly, reorient it, feel the pull of a golden thread up your spine… All so good.)

And I have to say how thankful we are that the weather was mild that day. Perfect temperatures, trace breeze, absolutely gorgeous sunset. With the bonfire blazing we were perfectly comfortable, and by nightfall the sky was inky black to show off the stars. 

We had brainstormed several more wellness activities and parting gifts, which didn’t quite come to fruition, but that’s fine. What we enjoyed Friday evening was perfect. Everyone left relaxed and happy and smiling, inspired I think. The other brilliant ideas will keep. (My husband is totally on board for hosting regular, maybe even monthly, wellness retreats here! Stay tuned!) 

That above (blurry) photo is of a dark chocolate bark made with a variety of nuts and seeds plus honey. It was a sticky, crunchy, sweet and salty piece of luxury, and I felt pretty good indulging in a few nibbles. Yum. Other treats people brought to share were:

  • goat cheese truffles with cranberries, pecans, and parsley
  • shrimp ceviche 
  • pumpkin bread
  • popcorn dusted with chili powder and cinnamon
  • banana oat muffins (flour-less and sugar free, still sweet)
  • walnuts and pecan halves with pomegranate seeds (Thanks Mom!)
  • vegetable curry with roasted chick peas
  • and YOGI TEA!! 

Sheila and I collaborated on the unusual ingredients to make the Yogi Tea happen. It’s from Adrienne’s website, and it was a huge crowd-pleaser. Delicious! Soothing and energizing all at once. Just like yoga.

Overall the night was simple, nourishing, and peaceful. Our small crowd was a nice mix of both friends and family of all ages. My parents brought our youngest niece Kenzie (she is a dance student and was enthusiastic about yoga!). Our youngest daughter came and mingled so naturally with all of our friends (such a pure joy for my heart), plus she participated in deck yoga, which I later learned was her first time ever! How beautiful that my friend Sheila led Jessica’s first yoga flow, and my other friend Kellie was next to her giving pointers and encouragement. 

I was also really happy that so many husbands joined the fun, haha! Since we had billed it as a vegetarian dinner and “please bring your favorite healthy treats,” haha, I got some teasing about what the heck would everyone else eat! Guess what good-looking white-collar hobby farmer grilled a tray of steaks and provided roasted potatoes and broccoli to the guys? It was so perfect. AND several of the men chose to do yoga with us!!

Wellness for all, according to his or her own tastes, ok? Ok. Yes.

I feel like it was a good, gentle, quiet way to step into the winter holiday season. I like having not only “healthy” food ideas in my brain but also some de-stressing techniques in my pocket. Breathing, stretching, visualizing techniques and the reminder to be grateful daily, constantly.

I intend to remember all winter long the sparkling deck lights and stars hanging heavy above us, the feeling of peacefulness and ease, my belly full of warm vegetable curry, and so much meaningful, face to face conversation with good people. It all opened my heart and slowed my pulse. When the holidays try to speed me up too much, when things are suddenly more complicated than they need to be, I will do some yoga outside and try a few tai-chi moves. I’ll eat softer, cozier, more nutritious food and hydrate really well. And I will trade electronics in favor of three-dimensional fun with humans. And I’ll remember that it’s okay to say no and edit details and keep things simple. It might even be better that way.

Happiest possible Thanksgiving to you, friends! I have something else I want to talk to you about, but that will keep too. I hope you thoroughly and mindfully enjoy everything you choose this weekend. Love your people. Give thanks aggressively and let your hearts crack wide open.

Find What Feels Good.
~Adrienne Mishler
XOXOXOXO