Archives for 2017

will I ever blog again & it’s fine

February 22, 2017

Stuff is crazy, man. Life is full to bursting, in the coolest and scariest ways, and by that I mean only the very best, most nourishing and fulfilling ways. Trust and gratitude, gratitude and trust. It’ll all be fine.

Day after day I have ideas of things that need writing. Most days I sketch them in the nearest spiral notebook and sometimes jam out a few sentences on Facebook, but the full depth and breadth and height of life will never be captured this way.

klaus kale shirt happy C

Even when I want to sit and spend the sunrise hours writing, it’s really time to feed the animals, play fetch with Klaus, drink my last cup of quite strong perfect coffee, make the beds (ours is a two-bedroom marriage now, it’s cool like being bi-coastal but together), start some laundry, scoop some manure into the compost, and BAM it’s finally time to lace up and run some miles. Preferably before my stomach starts growling obscenely and I cave and eat breakfast first. Fasted miles are my favorite.

Also, am I losing weight? Getting speedier? Slimming down or not? Do people care, should I blog about that journey? I don’t know.

It’s fine.

This morning I ran at the farm. Our sandy hills are doing their very best to dry out from all the glorious early spring rain, but they are still quite slick and mushy. Lost in thought, about halfway through mile three, my toe caught a slick tree root and somehow I fell up in the air instead of straight down to the ground. My mind commanded to my body, “Go limp! Go limp!” and my body obeyed. Not only did I go limp; I managed, at the apex of this weird tumble, to twist myself so that in a slow-motion moment I landed on my cush posterior, facing the sky. I just laid there looking at the pulsing blue, relaxed because I luckily had the presence of mind, mid-twist, to hit pause on my Garmin. Pace records are suddenly very important to me. Apparently as important as not crashing my porcelain teeth on a slab of red rock. Or this steel pipe gate pictured below. Anyway it was a very Matrix-James Bond moment for me, and the only damage was some damp red earth scuffing my clean white compression socks. My posterior is unharmed, as are my porcelain front teeth, etcetera.

forest gate C

Then midday, my friend Amber visited the farm for the first time, and we had the best real conversation. In less than an hour we dove deep and swam easily through topics like sex education for young women, honesty and transparency in the coming of age, marriage and how men apologize differently than women, motherhood, the importance of treasuring the exact chapter you’re in, how beautiful mundanity can be, smoking meats, and much more. I met Amber through beekeeping and learned that she practically lives around the corner from our farm, which happens so rarely I get quite excited when it does. I have the most wonderful feeling that she and I will be spending more happy time together this spring and summer.

My dog is in love with her. Awkwardly, I am afraid.

With what remains of today I plan to finish a small pile of ironing, sew one apron, and get a pork tenderloin started for a late supper. Then the chicken coop gets a serious cleaning and fresh supply of nesting straw and the middle field gets as many scrapes from my manure shovel as time will allow. More friends are visiting this afternoon, and I am pretty happy about that.

klaus cuddle sky C

The thing is, really, it’s fine. All those thoughts that swirl and pester us, the What-If needles, all the things that keep our hearts frothed up, they are under control. Let’s go ahead and relax. Enjoy the day whether it’s busy or mundane. Love your people. Say your prayers. Trust God with the stuff you cannot (and should not) control.

Blogging again soon, maybe. After Klaus is done snuggling my feet.

It’s better than fine. It’s perfect.
XOXOXOXO

the noticer (book review)

February 12, 2017

My dear old book club friend Melissa now works at the Commish with Handsome. She and another book-loving coworker Janice were recently discussing worthy reading titles within earshot of my guy and landed on something that was eventually loaned to me via my non-reading husband. That’s a lot of info you don’t really need. I do however want you to know all about the book itself.

Okay.

It’s called The Noticer and it’s written by Andy Andrews who is also apparently the well known author of The Traveler’s Gift and a widely celebrated corporate speaker.

This book is just 156 short, sweet, soothing pages of easy story telling. Nothing too cerebral. Nothing too terribly painful, though while reading my heartstrings were tugged plenty. (I only cried twice, which is not much for me.) The book is a nice spiritual refreshment but neither religious nor preachy. Motivational but not overbearingly so. I was hooked in the first few pages and immediately felt familiar strains from books like The Shack, A Return to Love, The Secret, a book by Mitch Albom (The Five People You Meet in Heaven), and more. Also, friends, my own story about the worry door.

I love echoes like these.

The Noticer message is all about perspective and how to adjust our own so that we see life and its problems and opportunities more clearly. More calmly. With greater capacity for love and growth. These are decent, useful things; and honing perspective is a skill that will serve us throughout life. As the book points out in various conversations, everyone is constantly in close relationship with crisis: We are either in crisis, headed for crisis, or recovering from it. Have we not discussed that right here over and over again? And pretty recently? How comforting to remind each other that crisis is nothing special meant only for us, though it sometimes feels that way. Life is not about avoiding crises but about improving our perspective and coping skills so that we can live with more love and purpose.

The Noticer was, for me personally, a mellow touchstone for all these lessons I’ve been receiving about practicing gratitude. A brief exchange about two-thirds into the story has the fascinating main character, Jones, suggesting to a work-obsessed friend that upon waking each morning he spend ten minutes listing things in his life for which he is grateful. When I was about 28 years old my husband’s grandmother instructed me to do almost exactly the same thing. I started doing it then, and it was transformative. Even now, when I fail to physically write on paper my gratitude, just sitting quietly with my thoughts and expressing gratitude sets the tone for my day and relaxes all my tension. Sometimes I do this at night when I can’t sleep. Just using gratitude to adjust my perspective from worry to peace often puts me right into a deep, restful sleep. It’s amazing.

After all, our blessings far outweigh our problems. And focusing on them only magnifies them and magnetizes you for more of them. Don’t forget that.

Okay friends. I could sit with you and discuss this interesting, inspiring book for many hours. I hope Melissa reads it soon so we can meet for lunch and do exactly that. (hint hint lady!!) If you are looking for a quick, uplifting read, something to refresh your thinking without making you feel like you’ve just visited a church you don’t recognize, find The Noticer and let it gently suggest a better perspective. Easy peasy.

Your vision, my boy. It is incredibly cloudy at the moment, but I am certain we can clear a pathway from your head to your heart and into your future.

Thank you Melissa for thinking of me and Janice for the loan! I loved it.

Oh and by the way? Watch out for the garden seeds metaphor. You know I hated that. : )

“Keep your fork.
The best is yet to come.”
~Andy Andrews, The Noticer
XOXOXOXO

friday 5 at the farm: green goose garden goals

February 3, 2017

Hey friends, I cannot BELIEVE it’s Friday afternoon! Like not at all. I fell ill sometime Tuesday and have been in such a weird feverish daze ever since. It truly feels like I lost a whole week of life. Thank goodness Monday was crazy productive and that my husband is amazing. He did all the animal feeding and dishwasher loading Wednesday and Thursday and stocked us up on groceries and medicines, too, after some hellish office days. All I had to do was try to sleep and fight off coughing fits and not complain too much about sitting still. Pretty sweet deal.

For Friday 5 this week, I ran across this old snapshot that inspired a short list of gardening things on my mind. The little girl there with the round bare belly is me, having just harvested fresh carrots from my Mom’s garden in my childhood home. Those boys were neighborhood friends. And yes, for sure, in addition to gardening I have been hooked on patchy jeans and bleach blonde hair ever since. Also flip-flops.

baby gardener C

The 2017 Green Goose Gardens are already in process:

Wider curving herb bed near the kitchen window, to accommodate multiples of each herb.
More organized composting system (we finally have a grip on manure management).
Three Sisters will grow out front along with watermelon, pumpkin, and sunflowers.
I’m building a modest shade garden near the pool house.
Overarching goal of producing all our own edibles plus lots of certain things to sell at the local market (Saturday mornings beginning in June).

Number 5 is really the kicker, and of course it cooperates with all the rest, especially number 2. We have all winter been plotting and planning and setting aside both space and funds to make these things happen. I have been gradually relocating compost, one wheelbarrow at a time, from the middle horse field to the front field, with the goal of improving the soil texture there (right now it’s mostly sand). Handsome has been scheming fence reconfiguration, ordering seeds, and designing me a three-bin compost box. I have been reading and pod-casting up a storm, getting my brain filled with other people’s good-experience wisdom for small-scale, high-yield market farming. It’s so exciting.

What makes all of this seem more possible in 2017 compared to years past is a beautiful alchemy of life changes. One key element is that I have greatly reduced my outbound volunteering. I rarely leave the farm now to do anything other than errands for us, and I like it. I am more focused, my housework stays up to date (except when I am sick, like this week), and I have far more hours now to dive deeply into making this place more than nine lazy acres. We feel like the W will be coming into her own soon, and it’s thrilling.

Yay for so many mild January days that gave us a head start on spring! Looking at this list of five garden goals, I am so happy to know that each of them is well in motion. Oh and I started some lettuce trays today, so watch Instagram for seedling updates!

Happy weekend to you! Stay healthy! Grow something green!
XOXOXOXO

smack between two equinoxes

February 2, 2017

I recently finished a book Jocelyn gifted me, Cold: Adventures in the World’s Frozen Places by Bill Streever. The book was unlike anything I’ve read before, smoother than a documentary, more informative than a personal narrative, way more fun than a science textbook, and all of that together. I liked it.

Anyway, it’s about cold places, the cultures that grow there, the implications for the planet’s future, you name it. The book includes all kinds of fascinating lore and weather explanations from around the globe and all throughout history. It also more or less follows the calendar, telling stories month by month.

When the author gets to February he offers some anecdotes and little known facts about Candlemas Day, February 2nd, what we know now as Groundhog Day:

If Candlemas Day be fair and bright
Winter will have another fight.
If Candlemas Day brings cloud and rain,
Winter won’t come again.

I offer you this because apparently the groundhog saw his shadow this morning, and everyone thinks that means another long chapter of winter. But at least here in Oklahoma, the skies are dark and moody. No shadows! Also, consider that the Old Farmers’ Almanac predicts the next two months to bring us some moisture, possibly even snow, but overall above normal temps.

All of that and my irises are about four inches high already. So. For the mid-point between the winter solstice and the spring solstice, I’m optimistic.

even a false spring

Bring on spring.

XOXOXOXO

grading my month of running

January 31, 2017

Hey friends, happy Tuesday! Big warm thanks to everyone who sent their love and wonderful comments on my post this past Sunday. Reading your words both here and on social media made me feel even more alive with hope. Know that I am sharing all of that loving energy right back with you! Also, I want to share that God is already moving in visible ways. We are actually pretty excited to see what will happen next.

Okay.

I have lots of gardening updates, manure management ideas, big family news, and books and movies to discuss, but there’s time for all of that wonderful stuff later. Soon, in fact!

Today I am linking up for the first time with Marcia and her friends over at Marcia’s Healthy Slice to share some thoughts on how this first month of the new year has been going in the running department. Let’s go.

tuesdays

You might remember I launched this month with a positive attitude toward health and fitness, reflecting on the many benefits of training for but not running a marathon. Then I took stock mid-stream and set a short term goal of un-fluffing myself from the holidays. I have been eating better, running more consistently, and throwing in plenty of yoga, both aerial and traditional. Just kinda getting back in a groove. I feel great body and mind. Here is my January mileage:

Jan 2-8: 16.5 (Just getting warmed up) plus some cardio barre at home and one aerial yoga class

Jan 9-15: 38.47 (Feeling better! Following an online running camp, more on that later!) and aerial yoga

Jan 16-22: 26.9 (Some schedule interruptions, no biggie) plus extra yoga at home

Jan 23-29: 34.57 (Enjoying faster paces and a lighter appetite) no aerial yoga this week again but lots at home

January total: 116.44 (I start my weeks on Mondays and will tack on yesterday’s and today’s miles to my February weeks.)

I’m happy with this as a start to the new year, because all of it together helped me feel more like myself, and just as importantly all of it together stayed in harmony with the rest of life. At no point did I feel like making my running a priority interfered with farm work or family time; and at no point did I feel like eating better (more vegetables, less bread, cereal, and sugar) was part of a deprivation or “diet” mentality. I just feel amazing eating certain things and moving more. Bonus? I am un-fluffed already. Back down to my pre-Christmas feeling and weight, not that weight matters so much. It’s just amazing to me how doing things that feel so good can be so productive. So profitable. At this easy, sustainable pace and with the right attitude I know I’ll soon be where I want to be, bikini-wise.

Okay. Marcia invited us to grade ourselves for January.

I cannot in good conscience give myself an “A,” only because I had set slightly higher mileage goals each week and missed them. But I will take a “B” for balance, haha. While I am following the Hal Higdon Advanced I Marathon Plan as a structure for workouts, I have not yet committed to any spring races. So it’s important for my mental peace to just use running as a tool right now and not let it become an obsessive taskmaster, you know?

I mean at least for now. ; )

Check back with me late March and see how that’s going, ha. Or ask my husband, yikes.

Speaking of my husband, he ordered me some new compression socks. I feel like the pink Power Ranger when I wear this pair:

pink socks C

Another thought along these lines: I have been craving this phrase: running volume.

It’s one thing, I think, to tack miles on here and there, or to prep all week for one long run then recover in bed lazily, especially in these winter months. But I have had such a deep need to run more every day, you know? For example, if my plan says I need 3 miles, then I want 5. If it says 7 miles, I want 9. And so on. Every day I wake up feeling this. Just crank up the volume.

Once your body is warmed up, after all, you are just another 18 or so minutes away from that many more miles, and they certainly add up in a week. I tell myself this at the end of each prescribed run and make little bargains with the part of my brain that is pulled to move on with other jobs, like, “just keep going, 18 minutes is no big deal, you spend more than that much looking at social media!” Since I am rarely exhausted, just thinking of other work that needs doing, the bargain is easy to make. And I always walk away happier, more energized for that next job.

Again, I am running strictly for myself right now and basically I have no idea what I am talking about, this is just what my mind and body crave. If you are running for a certain goal or with a date in mind, then this random volume strategy could be foolish or at least pointless. I have no idea.

But I am super thankful to feel like myself again and downright humbled and grateful that my lifestyle provides the luxury of running every day without having to hire a babysitter or drive a long distance or lace up at dark because I have to be showered and in an office by a certain time.

I get to spend my early morning with my husband, drink my perfect coffee slowly, tidy up the house, feed our farm animals, and then lace up, choosing to run either on the treadmill or around our property (the loop is now .33 miles, yay!) or at one of a few nearby tracks. I love it. I feel very lucky.

So a B for the month of January is a decent start to the new year. I know where I want to improve and have some good ideas of how to get there. Most of all I am happy to be enjoying the process.

Thanks for the fun writing topic, Marcia, as well as for the welcome to link up!

Run While You Can
XOXOXOXO

Edit: As I finished this blog post Tuesday morning I laced up for an easy 6 mile run. Yesterday’s 9 mile plan was cut to 8.2, then I worked around the house and farm all the rest of the day. I was exhausted beyond what you might feel from a good workout. My whole body and skull hurt so much.

So this morning I was looking forward to an easy run, but I could barely even finish a warm up. I came inside after less than a mile, tried cardio barre (why I thought that would be better is a mystery), and still felt pretty awful. It’s my chest and breathing, I cannot seem to keep any oxygen flowing at all, and my skull still hurts. I tried cleaning the middle field, which is a chore involving raking, scooping, and relocating big wheelbarrows full of manure to other spots around the farm. Again: Why I thought that would be better is beyond me now.

Long story short, by about 11 am I resigned to being actually sick and accepted that my week’s exciting mileage plans were not either derailed or just slightly delayed. I am deciding it’s a matter of perspective, ha. My sweet (if overprotective) husband is on his way home now to make sure I rest.

It’s all about health, anyway. The big picture. Be well, friends! xoxo

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