Archives for January 2015

dinner club with a reading problem turns four!

January 31, 2015

Hello, and happy Literary Saturday! This week I want to send a big, loving, grateful anniversary wish to all of my book club girls. This month Dinner Club With a Reading Problem is celebrating four years together. Four years! And I am so happy.

What started as just a fun way to socialize and indulge in a favorite past-time has blossomed into a truly nourishing wellspring. Something that feeds us and challenges us in unexpected ways. What a wonderful surprise to discover such a sisterhood at this stage in life.

Our "Red Dress" photo shoot at the Oklahoma State Capitol in 2013. This was an event aimed at awareness of heart disease for women, a gesture of love for our own Stephanie. — Our “Red Dress” photo shoot at the Oklahoma State Capitol in 2013. This was an event aimed at awareness of heart disease for women, a gesture of love for our own Stephanie.

Over the past four years our membership and attendance has fluctuated a bit, ranging from the four original women to about 26 at one point, now hovering at close to a dozen. Most of our gatherings enjoy the energy and glow of nine or ten amazing friends who feel a lot like sisters now. Sometimes our husbands or children make happy appearances. And a few times we’ve welcomed out-of-town guests, which is the best. We’ve also been incredibly fortunate to interview our chosen authors three times.

We schedule dinners about every six to eight weeks, depending on the time of the year. The hostess sets a food theme, sometimes related to the book and sometimes to the season, and we all run with it to build a ridiculous pot-luck style feast. The DCWRP ladies are all excellent cooks and luxurious shoppers, so no one goes home hungry! Our name, after all, points clearly to our food obsession. By this time next week we will have gathered at Kerri’s house to discuss Goldfinch, and the dinner theme is salads. I am so excited! Because, KALE.

We take our carbs seriously.

Though the aim of each gathering is to review and discuss the book we’ve just read, then plan the next event, book club now is all about the friendship we share. We have become closely knitted together, and no matter what is happening is each other’s life we always feel safe and supported. We share marriage and dating stuff, changing family dynamics, career stress, grief, joy. All of it. We are a group of excellent listeners, and if that isn’t the breeding ground for friendship then I don’t know what is.

An excerpt from The Help.

We’ve experienced ups and downs ourselves, too. Like any group of friends (especially women?) we have had conflict and separation, then gentle and happy reunions, and we’ve learned a lot about each other along the way. This book club has a wonderful momentum that just carries us not only from one title to the next but from one life event to the next. And I am so grateful.

Speaking of titles, I should be ale to tell you easily how many books we’ve read together, but I can’t. It’s a lot, that’s for sure. We probably read six or eight per year, at different paces depending on the volume and the busy-ness of the months. (Ahem, Bonhoeffer anyone?) Sometimes we choose two books at once if we are craving two types of literary nourishment.

Our book selection process is a bit random, but it does allow everyone a chance to have input. We simply draw names at the end of each meeting, and that person comes to the next discussion dinner with the title we’ll read that next go-round. This way she has time to look around and make a great choice. With such a variety of personalities and lifestyles in our little tribe, we have enjoyed a wide array of reading material. I love it so much!! Most books we read I might never have considered on my own, and everyone would probably say the same.

When I wished my friends a Happy Fourth Book Club Anniversary, a few of them offered these sweet words…

This warms my heart!

And just for fun, here is a list of wacky traditions we’ve accidentally formed at Dinner Club With a Reading Problem:

Whenever possible, we get Amber to narrate aloud a racy passage from whatever book we’re discussing. She has the perfect voice and sultry countenance for it. It’s awesome.
We always eventually descend into uproarious laughter. We’re neither quiet nor terribly ladylike. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Somehow we always work into the conversation something about whether or not we wash our new bed sheets before using them. It’s a more divisive topic than you’d expect.
Melissa brings us the most amazing coconut-lime cake you have ever even dreamed of. It’s the perfect balance of delicate and decadent, and when she brings it we know it’s a special occasion.

Stephanie is our group’s token non-reader, but she does make a valiant effort. We love to check in with her to see if she has read more this time, and she loves to tease us about whether a book is being made into a movie.
Everyone loves to tease me about two books I have chosen over time: Don Quixote and The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake. Just, whatever you guys.
We have an official logo hand drawn by Joanna, and we’ve made it into t-shirts! In fact I am wearing mine as I type this.

The world is filled with all sorts of book clubs. Big and small, corporate and private. They’re all special. But none of them compares to this group. Dinner Club With a Reading Problem possesses a magic which none of us has alone. As a group we enjoy something that makes each of us better, and this coming year I look forward to seeing how we push that energy out into the world. Ideas abound!

Thank you for your friendship, ladies. Thank you for every page we’ve read together, for every bite of sweet and savory food we’ve shared. Thank you for the tears and laughter. You are the shiz-nay. Happy Anniversary!!

“That’s What She Said.”
~All of us at some point
XOXOXOXO

farm update: january’s breath of summer

January 28, 2015

It’s Wednesday afternoon, and my biggest work is done, miles ran, house clean and quiet except for normal Lazy W sounds. Schedule clear until dinner with friends tonight. I am forcing myself to sit down with a salty snack and cold drink, just to offer a quick farm update and return some emails. Because really, I’d much rather chat with you outside. So would you if you were here.

The weather here in Oklahoma, in case you haven’t heard, is temporarily glorious. So glorious it makes being indoors a little difficult. I get antsy. Warm afternoons, cool evenings, starry nights, and abundant sunshine day after day. The fresh air is intoxicating, so our windows are all open. Curtains billowing inward like a dream then sucking back against the screens with no warning. Rooster crows and buffalo chuffs making the silence fuller, warmer. Sunlight streaming in and colliding with the disco ball, scattering silver blurs all over the living room. I love all of this. It’s like magic, this symphony of beauty for every sense. Every spring I remember just in the nick of time why we live here, just when I was about to start packing boxes and move either to the Equator or the city.

The animals are blissing out, too. Egg production is up from six or seven per day to nine and sometimes even eleven. And we’re getting minty green ones still, which are my favorite. There’s a lot of, um… chicken romance happening all over the farm, so if things go well our little flock could make it possible for us to hatch out some gorgeous feathery babies again this year. We have a greater variety of breeds now, too, so this could be fun.

The llamas have rearranged their pecking order since Dulcinea has recovered from her pregnancy. Interestingly, while she was El Preggo, she was very clearly at the top of that adorable little totem pole. Then came Romulus, then Meh, oblivious to being in last place. (Llamas seem to be matriarchal, which could be why an expectant mother rose to the top despite her youth. This is my unprofessional observation-based opinion.) Now recently, Dulcie has fallen to the bottom, with her baby brother above her and Big Daddy Rom up top. “Where obviously I belong,” he seems to say with his stately gaze. Anyway, she’s doing great. The fall from grace has actually made her more cuddly to us, so we like it. Handsome really seems to be enjoying his extra cookie time with the llama he has always called Little Bit. xoxoxo

Yesterday we were pulling up the driveway at a particularly warm, still moment and saw Chanta napping in the sun. He was all folded up against himself, basking, no halter on his face, breathing with his entire body. The sight was beyond precious. I snapped these photos showing his startled wake-up. The fourth photo, had I managed to take it, would have been him stretching his legs and neck as far as they would go. And yawning. He is the yawniest horse I have ever seen.

Tulips are breaking ground. This is said with a great measure of self control, because as soon as anything breaks ground, I can think of little else besides gardening. This, together with the insanely gorgeous temperatures, makes it difficult to remember we are still finishing up January. About 50 days still to live fully until the official start of the loveliest of all seasons.

Live fully, Marie, live fully, Carpe every single diem.
Don’t waste too much time reflecting on the past or anticipating the future.
Today is beautiful and important.

On that note, I’ll wrap this up and go scoop some manure for composting. I hope wherever you are that the weather is kind to you. I hope if you are still in winter’s bitter grip that you have lots of soup and fuzzy blankets nearby to warm your bones.

Count your blessings. Make the most of today. The days add up.

“A garden is always a series of losses set against a few triumphs, like life itself.”
~May Sarton
XOXOXO

marathon monday: post-run yoga

January 26, 2015

Hello and welcome to another Marathon Monday! If you’re following along, this is the start of week 6 of training for the April race.

I am happy to report that my mileage for the past few weeks has been right on target. A bit over the Hal Higdon prescription, actually, and I’m feeling great. With increased mileage (which will increase even more in the coming weeks) I am reminded of how important it is to stretch afterwards.

Most people probably neglect stretching more than they should, myself included. Isn’t it like flossing? Like, we all know we should do it, and we all say we do it, but really, only when we eat spinach? Or popcorn?

Well, I had fallen into the habit of not stretching unless I was running in the double digits and then only rarely. No longer! Last week I paid a hefty price for this negligence. The evening after a long run I was walking around the house in ill-fitting sweat pants, not able to bend my knees. So I sort of waddled from left to right, stiff-legged and VERY stiff-hipped. I also couldn’t bend my back, so I looked perfectly British in a ridiculous way. I caught Handsome looking at me sideways a few times, and it was not flirting.

Anyway a couple of days later I was so thrilled to remember this little yoga video on You Tube. I have been doing it ever since, even after short runs, and it makes everything better. My legs feel more supple. My back is bendy again. My hips are loose. Even my feet and arms feel good.

(Side note: I never expected to have sore arms from running. Crazy.)

http://youtu.be/2Hf_u0AGdEA

And as much as this yoga video helps my body (from head to toe!) it also helps my mind. Twenty minutes of these exercises and affirmations will make it nearly impossible for you to be overly critical or irrationally dissatisfied with yourself. Probably anyone who practices yoga will agree that the phrases which strike you the most during your poses will actually apply to your life across the board. So go ahead and be mindful. It’s lovely.

Isn’t that beautiful? It made me think a lot about what my foundations are, about what it means to be graceful and live with integrity. I was reminded to slow down and breathe…

Okay I hope if you are running that you are also stretching! Consider this a big warm hug from me, encouraging you to try yoga for its physical and personal benefits.

I also hope that you are flossing, at least when you eat spinach and popcorn. Because, we can totally see that.

‘Tis in ourselves that we are thus or thus.
Our bodies are our gardens to which our wills are gardeners.
~William Shakespeare, Othello
XOXOXO

confessing some unpopular opinions

January 24, 2015

These past couple of weeks I have spent more time than usual expressing strong personal opinions that did not necessarily mesh with those of some people close to me. The topics were various, and certainly lots of loved ones offered me agreement and support; but still I have felt an undercurrent of opposition that I don’t normally feel. It’s uncomfortable, and a few tears were shed on both sides of these arguments, but it hasn’t changed my opinions one bit.

Anyway. I will be forty-one in less than two months and am experiencing yet another cliché: I just do not really care what people think of me. Not in an angsty I hate the world kind of way. No, not at all. I love more people and I love them more deeply than ever before and am more comfortable in this world than I have ever been, since maybe the age of eight. I just need less and less approval from others and rarely feel the need to justify or explain myself to anyone. At all.

So in the spirit of being honest, but also trying to have a sense of humor about it, let’s do some confessions. Let’s confess some opinions. And why don’t we make them all unpopular, ok?

Confessing Some Unpopular Opinions

New Kids on the Block? Who’s that? Talk to me about Menudo. Or the hey hey we’re the Monkeys!
Pixar makes me nauseous. Not, like, oh I hate it so much I’m gonna hurl, but like, when I watch Pixar-animated films I literally get motion sickness or something. I have to make sure to have a book or a hand-held craft or something available to stay the sway. Which is too bad, because they turn out some great stories. Or so I hear.
Daniel Craig is the best James Bond, ever. Sorry, Mr. Connery and Remington Steele.
I happily support gay marriage and am not at all surprised that it is being legalized rapidly across the country.
But I cannot fathom any excuse to make abortion legal.
And I think the feminist movement has taken so many ugly turns I want nothing to do with it. It has become a tricky, hurtful game of semantics that is counterproductive to people, not just women.
Fennel, though beautiful to look at as a raw vegetable and highly attractant to valuable pollinators in your garden while blooming, tastes awful. Because it tastes like licorice. Which tastes awful.
I believe strongly in the Bible as being the word of God.
But I am reluctant to identify with any man-made “religion” or denomination. No one single group has it all right.
That said, I think religion can be a beautiful and vital part of life and the fabric of our community if it is used and practiced lovingly. (This opinion is probably very popular, though, right? I mean it seems like a no-brainer. Not that you can tell by looking at most church communities.)
Along a similar vein, though I am largely conservative in nature, but still a bit of a hippie according to my friends, I resist identifying with any political party. Because, again, none of them get it all right. And they sure don’t speak for me.
Frogs are terrifying and mostly quite gross.
But horned toads are awesome.
I don’t care how plain or old-fashioned they are, morning-glory vines are possibly my favorite flower in the whole universe.
Animals as family members are so wonderful! But I really don’t groove them inside the house. I know, cue ironic music and eye rolling.
Gallagher, remember him? The watermelon-smashing “comedian?” Can. Not. Stand. Him. Slapstick comedy in general is annoying to me, and this particular unpopular opinion makes my sweet husband sad. He loves the Three Stooges.
Though I am guilty of more than my fair share of accidental typing errors, it drives me crazy to see deliberate spelling manipulations in advertising. For example, “E-Z” in lieu of “Easy.” Or anytime the plural “s” is swapped out for a “z.” WHY?? Catching my attention visually is pointless for sales, because now your giant Z means I will refuse to step foot in your shop. Also? You probably call it a “shoppe.” My god.
Regardless of the administration, I think the office of the President both garners too much credit and also suffers too much criticism for everything that happens in this country or under her scope. We are a vast social and political organism with complex moving parts operated and affected by far more than one elected official.
Condoning underage drinking or use of illegal drugs, especially with minors, is deplorable.
How on earth do we still have these bachelor-rose-giving shows? I mean really.
I think Diet Coke is probably fine.
I think Katy Perry is beautiful but will only listen to one of her songs, Dark Horse, and only when I’m running.
I love Eminem, explicit.
The show Fantasy Island needs to make a comeback.
When toddlers get gently attacked by cats is the best. I can watch those videos for hours.

Please join me. Get it all off your chest. Throw caution to the wind.

Know Thyself
~Socrates
XOXOXO

p.s. I am sure you already know this, but if you need a good laugh, look up the hashtag #confessyourunpopularopinion sometime. People are funny. And you just might walk away with a slightly different view of what mainstream is. LOL

friday 5 at the farm: 4 current faves & a redirect

January 23, 2015

It’s Friday again, we made it!! Cue all the cheering and cartwheel-turning and Pee-Wee Hermann dancing because, friends, as been. a. week. Handsome and I now have a great weekend on tap to celebrate some hard work and recharge each other’s batteries.

For this installment of Friday 5, I just want to mention four things that have been indispensable to me lately, things that make life easier or prettier or more meaningful. And then I would love to invite you to click over and see another Oklahoma-based blog where I am absolutely giddy to be guest posting today! Okay let’s get started.

#1. Mascara
As much as I love talking about books, philosophy and the importance of slow food and positive thinking, I am so not above asserting to you that a great mascara can greatly improve the quality of your life. So, here it my personal recommendation: Voluminous by L’Oreal. I recently made the switch from a plain-Jane pink and green tube back to this brand I used once upon a time in my twenties, and I am so glad. I had forgotten how lush and thick and I Can See Your Lashes from Kansas this mascara looks. And it’s only like $7 so give it a try!

#2. Parsley
Lately my mouth and my belly cannot get enough parsley. I’ve been keeping bunches of it in the fridge at all times, rinsed and ready to chop cold and raw onto a salad, a bowl of roasted veggies, an omelette, soup, you name it. I even put fresh parsley in my coffee these days. Not really, that’s a lie. But it might be delicious. Is parsley the new sage, which was once the new basil? I’m not saying it’s not. Since seed-starting is right around the corner, I may have to learn a few things about growing parsley. Yum.

#3. Feedly
Do you use this app? I have Feedly installed on my iPad and am in love. It cues up a ton of blogs I enjoy reading and keeps them categorized (fitness, cooking, lifestyle, decorating, spirituality, gardening, etc., these are categories I specified) so I can always plop down with a few spare minutes and read exactly what I’m in the mood to read. I love it! And you can save links for later, too, plus click through to the actual website to comment if you wish.

#4. Mantra
Okay I couldn’t write a list like this without including a mantra. And I am returning to an oldie but goodie, because my perspective has required some adjusting of late and this did the trick: Use Your Imagination for Good. Seriously. Resist the vicious cycle of “what if?” or those horrible rehearsed arguments in your head and just live in this moment. Fully. Slow down. Appreciate where you are, seek out the good, bright spots and the Love that surrounds you, the opportunities, blessings, and potential that your beautiful life has right now and max that stuff out! Okay, also I found this article last night (on Feedly, BAM) and thought you’d like to read it: 6 Things Bold People do to Live a Courageous Life

#5. Redirect
Last but not least, please allow me to introduce you to Cassie! She is a fellow blogger right here in our Great State of Oklahoma. She curates True Agape, where she and her husband Ryan pursue love and romance, fitness, family building, faith, all kinds of great stuff. They are a breath of fresh air!

Well, Cassie recently invited me to write for her audience about how fitness works into my marriage, or about how my marriage supports fitness, or maybe both. As you all know, Handsome does not share my love for running, but that does not mean he doesn’t love me. So he does all sorts of things to encourage me. Click over to Cassie’s website True Agape for a short piece on this topic: 5 Ways My Non Running Husband Supports Me as a Runner.

Okay, that’s it! Happy Friday to you, friends. I hope you work hard and play hard. I hope you soak up so much Love that you cannot help but exude it. Pray for miracles, dwell on the possibilities in your heart, expect them.

They’re coming.
XOXOXO

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