Today she turns twenty. My doe eyed baby girl, the artist and music connoisseur, the horse lover, the speaker of hard things, the innocent who has learned to heal herself and gather her own magic. An unbelievable pair of decades has passed since I first held her, though I had seen her face before that in my dreams.
She has grown from a tiny, grasping little girl who hated to be separated from me into a confident young woman ready and excited to explore the world in ever widening adventures.
Last year at this time we had just begun our reunion. A deep, much needed healing started just as she turned nineteen, and the months that followed brought one surprise after another, plus such an outpouring of love and grace. I wrote for her 19 wishes for that birthday, and looking back I am amazed to see how many of those wishes, prayers really, have already been answered and started to come to fruition. Her life is showing the fruits of faith and love in beautiful, mysterious ways. For this we are so thankful.
This past year she has learned a lot about herself, I think, and about work and life and money, stuff both practical and eternal. She has learned more about people, human nature, romance, and lasting family bonds. She struck out and spent some time working in the mountains, her own special version of paradise, and I was so lucky to go visit her there for five amazing, unforgettable days. Seeing her eyes light up and watching her leap and bound through the ancient boulders and wild sage… It made my heart deeply, wildly happy.
That collection of moments with her in the mountains held the dual charm of bonding us more tightly and helping me let go a little bit, for her sake. I’ll write more soon about what things I have learned as a mother over the course of this year of explosive growth. But today is her day.
This year, Jocelyn, I continue to pray those same nineteen wishes over your life, plus one very special unspoken hope. I expect to see things unfold for you more and more. God is moving on your behalf in so many ways, seen and unseen, and life is full of surprises. We are so proud of you, of your heart, of what you have faced and what you have accomplished. So happy for your strong internal compass and instincts. So thankful for your love.
Life is beautiful, just like you are, and this is only the beginning.
Happy Birthday, Sweet Pea
XOXOXOXO
Brittany says
Oh, these pictures are so amazing! I’m so glad for the way you two have unfolded together, it seems. I sometimes say that Ayla is a truth-teller, a bit like Jocelyn, speaker of hard things.
thelazyw says
Thank you!! I bet you agree, I am so happy to have a truth-telling daughter. It comes naturally to her, and I feel like this quality will serve her life well. Ayla’s too. Thank you so much Brit. xo