Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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JOY WEEK and Christmas Eve!!

December 24, 2021

Hey friends, Merry Christmas Eve! I missed writing to you guys about JOY week for Advent. If you have a minute, my heart is thrumming.

This photo represents one of the most incredible Christmas surprises to date.
I cannot wait to share this hilarious story!

Have you been celebrating Advent, either traditionally or in your own special way? I love a mix of the two. There is always a place for tradition, and there is also a need for making traditions very personal, for infusing everything we do with purpose and meaning. With personality! After all, the only traditions that really stick are the ones we make our own, the ones that serve us with the most authentic JOY. So dig in and be honest about how you want the holidays to be. Less obligation, more intention.

The last few weeks, I have been soaking up a magical rhythm of quiet time, reflection, and journaling, some very average farm chores and housework (soothing, you know), mixed with wild holiday activity, old songs and new understandings, lights and decorations, baking (so much baking), swimming in memories, time with friends, romance… Just keeping the current of life alive. We are all moving through time together, and I am here for it, as the kids say.

Joy is one of my favorite topics. A few years ago, you might remember, my husband started receiving this persistent message, “Count it all joy.” It became our mantra in a dark valley, and we have learned so much about it since then. Counting It All Joy is a post I wrote in 2017, when it was all fresh.

Joy has nourished us when we were tired and needed strength; it has floated gently us when we might have succumbed to grief; and joy has inspired us to build brand new things in our life. Joy changes everything. It’s the secret sauce.

How wonderful to learn that there are some ways to manufacture Joy, when it seems scarce or completely unavailable.

Have you ever tried a Joy Dare? I think Ann Voskamp first shared this idea. Find one of her templates, or better yet, make your own. Grab a notebook, have a list of prompts ready, then see how many days it takes you to journal one thousand expressions of joy. Last week I sat down to write out just a few thought prompts of my own and quickly listed 77 separate ways to count my own joy. Each of those immediately flowers into dozens of actual blessings in my life. It’s overwhelming in the best way. Joy comes to us and moves between us in such a variety of flavors and textures, it’s thrilling to articulate it all. And the act of taking stock is so empowering.

Also, learn what others have experienced. For reading material, I cannot fervently enough recommend The Book of Joy. Have you found it yet? We gobbled it up a couple of winters ago with a small group of friends, and we all gained so much from the material and from the subsequent conversations. It’s packed with wisdom and encouragement form Archbishop Desmond Tutu and His Holiness the Dalai Lama. The stories they share, the deep study, the timeless human-nature-wisdom and advice for good living, it’s all just priceless. Give it some time soon, if you haven’t already.*

Have you read The Book of Joy yet?

The 8 Pillars of Joy According to the Dalai-Lama

  • Perspective
  • Humility
  • Humor
  • Acceptance
  • Forgiveness
  • Gratitude
  • Compassion
  • Generosity

Some of my favorite Christmas carols are all about joy, and this past week I have been reflecting on the lyrics more deeply. Sing the songs that make you cry and laugh, get your family to sing with you, play the best music in your home while you work. There’s something about good music that we are designed to receive. Buddy the Elf was onto something.

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!

Let earth receive her king!

Let every heart prepare Him room,

And Heaven and nature sing

xoxoxoxo

I love how much God wants us to experience joy! He loves us so much! What He wants is for us to be joyful. We are repeatedly invited to rejoice. Re-joy ourselves and each other. It’s something we can do, not just something we occasionally, when we feel lucky, happen to notice. And then it an also be a total surprise! Of course our joy tanks can be depleted from time to time, but we can refill them. We can choose joy. We can walk the paths that pursue joy and allow it to flow generously for everyone.

I have learned that choosing joy is about a lot more than just looking on the bright side or finding the silver lining. It is that, but it is also deliberately living in whatever way cultivates the best life, the best reflection of Love, for the most people, day after day after average day, not just on holidays or for show. Choosing joy is an ongoing pattern of living that keeps us in alignment with Him.

Two more old blog posts about JOY:

A Different Mustard Seed Parable

Fractals Again, Joy Beyond Imagination, and Love

Okay, something amazing happened last week that I need to share. But it is a long story. It might need to be written in three or four chapters, so stay tuned. See the above photo.

For now, may all the details of your Christmas Eve be glowy and warm, centered in Love, steeped in just the right amount of tradition, and infused with your authentic personality. I am so excited to spend some quiet time with my own little family tomorrow. We are wildly thankful to be celebrating this Christmas in our own simple, joyful ways.

“Therefore being justified by faith,
We have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
By whom also we have access by faith

into this grace wherein we stand,
and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.”
Romans 5:1
XOXOXO

* Side note: The co-author Douglas Abrams has now co-authored another book, this time with the much loved Jane Goodall. The Book of Hope is newly released, and the Lazy W will be hosting a discussion dinner in January or February. Please consider yourself invited!

2 Comments
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: advent, carpe diem, choose joy, Joy, joy dare, love

friday 5 at the farm, random animal stories

December 17, 2021

Friends, hello, hi! I have less than 38 minutes to type a blog post before it’s time to get ready for a double date. So here we go. And there will be errors. There Will Be Errors. (If you repeat that to yourself dramatically it sounds like a movie title.)

we keep it classy

Story Number One: Remember the brassica garden that was eaten voraciously by the chickens in, maybe September? Well the plants there have bounced back. They have bounced back so hard, you guys, and in fact now have cabbages and cauliflower growing enormously. Nature is amazing! I posted more about this on Instagram a few days ago. I am so happy. That particular garden healing has brought me lots of hope for spiritual battles.

Story Number Two: Today while refreshing nesting box hay and refilling waters in the chicken coop, a brick-red rooster strutted up to me, blinked sideways in that skeptical, sneering (but lovable) poultry way, and proceeded to sip fresh cold water straight from the garden hose. From the hose, you guys, like a little kid! Klaus saw this and gently snooted the rooster away to enjoy his own slurp, as this is his domain, thank you very much, along with the rest of the farm and all fun activities.

Story Number Three: I have dropped the ball on decorating one animal every day for Advent, but we are giving them all as much Christmas cheer as is farmishly possible, and we are definitely celebrating Advent ourselves in sweet little ways every day. Anyway. Ever since the day that Dusty got his fancy mane bows, Chanta has been hinting that it is, in fact his turn. He is sweetly aggressive about it, so I predict a braiding session this weekend.

Story Number Four: Another chicken coop story, but about the ducks. While I was in there cleaning up, the interior door fell open too far. We have the ducks separated for safety, and the chickens and roosters are free to pass back and fort, over the half wall. Mike Meyers Lemon followed me to the goose-occupied half of the coop yard and started freaking out because he was to far from Rick Astlee. He was too upset to allow me to just pick him up, so I walked a wide, slow circle behind him to give him a chance to see the open door. Meanwhile, Rick, from the other side of the pallet wall divider, started quacking in a higher and higher tone and more and more rapidly, just exactly the way Mike used to call for him last summer, when Rick would occasionally be lost at sunset. Who remembers that story? GAH! These ducks. They love each other. They are bros! Duck Bros! Rick’s quacking lured Mike with loving precision through the open door, and Klaus followed behind with much chuffing and a big, toothy grin.

Story Number Five: My husband outdid himself with Christmas lights and inflatables this year, and that’s saying a lot because he does a great job every year. We wake up to colorful cheerfulness early every morning, and we see it before bed too, thanks to the magic of programmable timers. Yesterday Klaus and I played fetch well after sunset, in the dark, with confetti lights and lasers flying all over him and the lawn. I loved it so much, and I loved it all over again today when I saw a bit of the action of security footage ha! More modern conveniences bringing us joy.

Ok that’s it! Time to scrape the chicken, umm, debris from my earlobes, find a clean tank top, and spritz some Febreze on my jeans. It’s Friday night in the big town! (Locals, name the meteorologist who used to say that)

How many errors did you find? Please check in soon for a whole post about JOY!!

ALL IS MERRY AND BRIGHT
XOXOXOXO

4 Comments
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: animals, carpe diem, chickens, farm like, friday 5, friday 5 at the farm, Joy, Klaus

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together…

October 11, 2020

Did the title of this blog post make you sing I Am the Walrus? Good. Good, good, very good. I love that about you.

Dulcie is annoyed at no longer being the darling of the farm. Seraphine is fussing with Romulus, who is easily cowed down by her. Meh is bright and chipper, oblivious to the conflict.

Let’s talk about loneliness and connectivity.

My Mom asked me recently how I got so good at being alone. It’s a new problem for many people, this coping with the discomforts of extreme, open-ended social distance, and I could feel the weight of her question.

My first response, internally, was to begin outlining the thinking habits and reframing disciplines I have learned over the years, all the tricks and time management strategies that have helped me feel more productive, more fulfilled, less alone in the short term .

Blah blah blah

But as I brainstormed my overly long answer to her really sweet and important question, it slowly dawned on me that the answer to how do I get better at being alone is nothing close to how do I further insulate myself so that I feel less alone (because that’s all most such efforts are, at the end of the day, fillers and illusions). Rather, I think, the answer is to realize that we are not that alone after all.

I’m about to tell my sweet mom this, and though she isn’t much older than me, she is is still my elder and she is certainly wiser. I expect her to smile and say thank you sweetie, but maybe inside she will cringe, thinking her firstborn has completely discounted how alone so many people are feeling right now.

So let me share this much first: I have felt alone too, many times, often for long stretches of time, never knowing when some terrifying storms would end. I have felt alone in my unique schedule, way back when I was stay-at-home-hobby-farmer-mom alienated from her young daughters, especially back before we had Klaus and when my husband traveled a lot. I have felt alone in the midst of private, complex grief scenarios and in weird life circumstances and in hobbies and failed career efforts and religion quandries and all kinds of stuff.

I am not alone in feeling alone, and neither are you.

Without a doubt, pandemic has ushered in a whole new level of loneliness for many of us, even if we are mostly healthy, but especially if we are struggling with the virus (or fear of it) or depression or limited finances, or social conflict, or other very real stressors. Because loneliness is not just a question of proximity to other warm bodies; it’s about connection.

Even introverts, who recharge with regular bouts of solitude, still need to see and connect with people occassionally.

My assertion that we are not as alone as we think is more than a hopeful platitude. Connections are everywhere, we just have to see them. Following are a few links to things that have helped me so much. I hope some of it helps you too!

ONE… Read these two books:
The Book of Joy is full to bursting with not just encouragement, but well defined explanations for human behavior and lots of luscious mind exercises and meditations for everyone, regardless of your religion. Archbiship Tutu’s anecdotes about UBUNTU were life changing for me. Me= We. I am a person through other people. Everybody, Always by Bob Goff is a shorter, softer read but just as nourishing, a beautiful reminder of the many ways we can stay connected to people through Love.

TWO… Listen to this podcast:
The Anthropocene Review, an episode that aired on May 25 of this year, titled You’ll Never Walk Alone. Jessica’s boyfriend Alex recommended this to me several months ago, and while I have listened to and enjoyed other episodes by this production, for some reason I let this particular episode sit in my downloads, unplayed, until today. It turned out to be the perfect moment to receive the beautiful, intricate message. If you can give 15 or 20 minutes to one podcast soon, make it this one. We are not alone. Not in the world, not in our failures and short lives, not even in grief, no matter how it feels from time to time. We can keep walking, no matter the cirumstances.

THREE… Watch this Netflix special (just the first episode):
I started this docuseries on the treadmill a few days ago and was hooked. The first episode about Doc Rivers, NBA coach, had me wishing I was seated with a notebook handy, it was so filled with good stuff. He shared a pivotal moment in his coaching years with the Boston Celtics, when a stranger introduced him to the concept of UBUNTU (same as above, with Archbiuship Tutu). She told him to research it for himself, to learn it, and he did. He said that she was right, that it’s not a word but a way of life, and it transformed his basketball team. 35 minutes, friends. Give yourself this gift.

also a family ohoto, before llamas, circa olan mills era

If you are feeling lonely or disconnected, please reach out to people. Please find ways to remind yourself that you are woven into the fabic of community, and you can feel safe recognizing and opening up to a variety of connections. They don’t have to be perfect relationships to be deeply, beautifully nourishing. In fact, the weirder the connections, maybe, the better?

Ha. I don’t know.

But I do know that we are designed, programmed, and forever meant to be in flow with others, not alone, not independent. We affect each other whether we like it or not. We feed and are fed by others. We are bouyed and cushioned and lifted up and then caught, safe and sound, by actual people and their human efforts. You are a person who is needed by some other person, by many people in fact. And your needs will be met in large part by other people just like you, probably even people who don’t realize they are meant to help you. Back and forth, inward and outward, forever and ever.

Connectivity.

Okay. I am closing for today. Much to say soon about those aforementioned thinking habits and disciplines, ha!

I love you Mom.
Coo Coo Ca Choo
XOXOXOXO

1 Comment
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: community, connection, family, Joy, quarantine coping, ubuntu

threshold magic

October 2, 2019

Seasonal thresholds always excite me. The shift in energy and the changing scenery, both in nature and in life, are powerful stimulants.  This recent slice of days, this threshold between summer and fall, has been brackish and wonderful. A stained glass window of work and gardens, of romance and books and socializing. I am smitten all over again, and autumn hasn’t taken hold yet.

On the very last day of meteorological summer we woke up early and decided with measured reluctance to close the pool. The chlorinated water had finally turned cold and cloudy. We gave thanks for a truly gorgeous, extra long summer then stretched the giant, crunching plastic blanket across and around the metal pool frame. We threaded the steel cord through the grommets, tightened it, and sighed audibly. The task itself was pretty easy, but saying goodbye to swimming season was less so.

Later that day we joined friends and strangers at Savory Spice Shop in OKC for their annual pie baking contest, definitely a seasonal treat and tradition worth keeping. The wonderful assault of fragrances aimed my heart straight at the best of autumn. Cinnamon! Nutmeg! Apples! Perfect, flaky crusts of every variety! Pecans!  My amazing friend Kellie won with her perfect entry of Bonaffee Pie, banana and caramel confection. Heaven in a pie plate.

 This past weekend, Handsome and I attended a storytelling event called “Ricochet,” in Oklahoma City. It was hosted by our friends Shanna and Ryan McKinley. I shared with a room full of strangers a pretty ridiculous true story of my own and thoroughly enjoyed hearing all the other stories. So fun! The recording will be on Ryan’s podcast and I’ll share it when it’s live!

We also hosted another community painting event in the midst of some intermittent sun showers. The afternoon was pastel and mild and had a suspenseful, magical quality. We enjoyed a more intimate group than last time and a smaller meal, too. The sun sank just as we were cleaning up, casting golden light on the easels as if that night was the first time a true Golden Hour had ever happened. Things felt weirdly perfect for those transitional days.

Things here are neither crisp nor cool, not yet, but at least we are no longer battling heat advisories. This kind of humidity is manageable when not in triple digits, ha. And around midnight tonight a much anticipated cool front just might blow across our beautiful state. Already the normally deafening frog song has quieted. Where did they go?

Fresh mums and pansies are sneaking into my flower beds, making friends with summertime’s zinnias, basil, and cannas. Tomatoes are still producing, and newly planted seeds have sprouted into tiny kales and rainbow chard plants. I haven’t bought any decorative pumpkins yet, but I have scooped up a few small green watermelons from the garden, just to display, knowing they don’t have enough time to ripen before our first frost. They kind of look like little gourds. Threshold gardening, friends.  It’s a thing.

Change is happening. Slowly and more slowly still, then all at once. We just have to breathe deeply and notice it all. Every day.

“See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland.”
– Isaiah 43:19

Thanks to my local running friend Joe for sharing the above scripture at a most perfect moment for me. Autumn is its own elegant, wondrous time of renewal. Different than springtime. Mysterious and powerful. It’s good to be excited about it.

2 Comments
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: autumn, carpediem, Joy, Oklahoma, summertime, threshold, transitions

Welcome back

August 27, 2019

Hello, I have missed this space! I have missed writing long, meandering stories about our life. I have missed connecting with you in better ways than just quick photo shares and social media “likes.” Thank you for being here with me!

All summer, technical difficulties have made blogging impossible, so I have retreated to daily pen-and-paper journaling and, actually, have enjoyed that quite a bit. But we are now on the road to electronic repair, and that feels pretty great too. So much to share! Where to begin?

Late last night, a storm blew across Oklahoma. It could have been much worse, but it was still strong enough to do real damage around the farm. Sustained, straight line winds shredded and up-ended even heavy stationary objects, and the wind also seems to have dried up all the heavy rain that fell! Our concrete was dry at 5 a.m. Weird, right? Handsome is working from home today so he can also work at home, ha.

The vegetable gardens are enjoying that exciting late summer breath of fresh air. It doesn’t happen every year, but when it does, my heart is flooded with optimism. And my brain hits overdrive just like in early spring, searching wildly for every seed that might still be planted, every beautification task that might help. For me, compost work and weeding goes a long way. I love adding straw to the beds, too, just for mulch, but the more I read about “core” gardening, a no dig method, the more I imagine this is helping next year’s harvest.

All summer we have been partying and celebrating life in a thousand gorgeous ways. Handsome and I feel super lucky to have the space and wherewithal to gather our people, feed ourselves well, and make memories left and right. Most recently, our Dunaways convened at the farm to celebrate all of our August birthdays and anniversaries. Added together, it was a raucous party for 238 years of life and love! The next morning was a sleepy Saturday. We were exhausted in the best way, just kind of sifting through cleanup and enjoying those post-party vibrations. Below you can see that Natasha, one of our barn cats, had snuck inside to feast on a mountain of leftovers. Klaus has lots of mixed feelings about that.

?

This summer I have been following the moon cycles more than ever before, and it has been the most delicious learning curve. Is this of interest to you? Do you want to know what I am finding out? This was first on my radar years ago with relation to gardening; then I started tracking it for personal health reasons; and in both respects I have been thrilled with new understanding. The many ways that God has designed interweaving patterns is just so beautiful to me. And understanding it all is actually helping my daily life. Amazing.

Ok friends, the sky is a dim navy blue now, plenty of light to do some evaluation of storm damage. Then I am off for a 12 or 13 mile run before some fun midweek events. I wish you the best of everything Tuesdays can offer! Thanks again for checking in. Please come back often because there is a lot to tell and even more on the horizon at the Lazy W.

“Be led by joy.
It’s the whole point.”
~Universe
XOXOXO

4 Comments
Filed Under: UncategorizedTagged: gratitude, Joy, moon cycles, Oklahoma

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Hi! I'm Marie. Welcome to the Lazy W. xoxo

Hi! I’m Marie. This is the Lazy W.

A hobby farming, book reading, coffee drinking, romance having, miles running girl in Oklahoma. Soaking up the particular beauty of every day. Blogging on the side. Welcome to the Lazy W!

I Believe Strongly in the Power of Gratitude & Joy Seeking

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"Edit your life freely and ruthlessly. It's your masterpiece after all." ~Nathan W. Morris

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