We have arrived at the exact point of summertime where I know the season is here to stay and therefore I am terrified it is almost over. I find myself trying to slow the moments and squeeze more life out of every drop given to us.
The gardens are gaining confidence. The animals are fully shed and fat and happy. Our fresh egg supply is luxurious, as are the basil plants and lemon verbena. We rise early to work hard at our respective jobs then enjoy unheard of relaxation near or in the pool almost every afternoon, only to retreat into the air-conditioned house for summery meals and sometimes movies or board games; then we climb upstairs and fall into the deepest sleep you can imagine. Smooth, cold cotton bed sheets feel like heaven after a hot day and a good, scrubby shower.
The days are spent with rhythm and routine and are lovely over and over again. Every little ritual carries a heavy volume of meaning, too.
One afternoon recently Maddie wondered aloud whether the bees know how important they are. We had been discussing the pollination drama, and she was quiet for a long time before posing this question. That thought stayed with me for hours, and for weeks actually. The bees work so hard, are so constantly industrious, and yet so small and easily missed individually. Most bees will ignore you flatly if they are left free to work. Fuzzy little noses to their sweet little grindstones.
Maddie’s thoughtful question got me wondering also whether the bees find as much pleasure in the world as we do, to balance all that industry. Then I wonder whether the reason we seek so much pleasure is that we are sentient creatures acutely aware of problems and awful possibilities, causing us to need the respite, or are we actually created with an appetite for pleasure so that God can see us happy?
Sometimes I feel guilty for having so much to enjoy day-to-day. But a simple thing has helped ease this: I am never happier than when I see my children happy. I want both of them, with or without me, to find a long view of the world, of course, and to be on good, safe, responsible paths; and at the same time I want both of them to constantly forage the Universe for pleasures big and small, of every variety. I wish for them heavy appetites for soulful nourishment and pleasure-seeking. I want them to dwell as long as possible in the lushness and bright, colorful, brimming-with-life energy of summertime. Whatever that means to each of them privately.
I wonder along with Maddie whether the bees know how important they are, as small as they are. And I wonder how many people know how important they are, and how totally okay it is to seek pleasure in life. I hope so.
“Waste not thy liberty.”
XOXOXOXO
bw says
I hope you know how worthwhile you are my girl. Bees are not the only hard workers that need to stop and smell the flowers while they are helping them grow. ANF
thelazyw says
I <3 you my boy.
Mer says
I love this! So beautiful!
thelazyw says
Thank you for reading, Mer!! xoxo