Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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State of Fear (book review)

   First, let’s agree that this book has all the elements that make for a good read.  Great characters, plot, complexity, tension, and a reasonable conclusion, plus a readable and entertaining style throughout.  I mean, the flavor served up by Michael Crichton is not nearly so sensual as Anne Rice nor so fantastical as Dean Koontz or Aimee Bender, but it is enjoyable in its own right.

  
   Okay, so no big surprise that the creator of Jurassic Park and the television series E.R. knows how to hold an audience...  But I had no idea what a thought provoking experience this paperback diversion would become. 
   And after digesting it for a while, I thought I was extremely clever to poke around the Internet looking for science to either reinforce or dispute what I had just read, only to find a full blown cult following already in place.
   I am always late to the best parties.  Unless I am throwing the party, but even then I am usually not early.  My hair is usually still wet from showering way too close to arrival time for guests, and the kitchen is in definitely in a general state of disarray.  A state of fear, if you will.
   Back to the book review. 
   This novel is basically about the inner workings and global wrappings of media, environmental concerns, big corporate money and government, and the straight up violence that comes with the whole circus. 
   If you have ever wondered about which media sources to trust and which to take with a big chunky grain of salt, read this book.  But I warn you, it will not act as a warm and cozy security blanket for your already troubled mind; you might slip into paranoia.
   If you have ever smirked at the extremes to which environmental activists take their many causes, read this book.  The same goes for people who are not sure why we should believe in something just because a popular celebrity says so.
   If you believe firmly in global warming and are a devoted recycler or carpooler, read this book.  I am not saying you will be be swayed one bit; you should just read this book.
   If you are either a member of or an attorney for Sierra Club or a similar group, well, you might not ought to read this book.  It could get you fired or at least placed on a list.  Then again, maybe it’s required reading…
   If your morbid self has ever been curious about cannibalism, read at least part of this book, okay?  You can’t even imagine.
   If you are an intelligent science student who has more than a lay person’s foundational knowledge on these topics, read this book and then please contact me.  We have a lot of things to discuss.  Thanks.
  

Car Show Culture

   I entered this marriage with a perspective that cars were nothing more than modes of transportation.  Learning through Handsome, then, the scope of artistic expression and passion and also the varying skills required in his car world, was eye opening. 
   Suffice it to say that his mechanical and electronic skills far exceed my own and most likely always will.  But my passion for this brave world is beginning to give his a run for its money. 
   Wait, does Passion have money? 
And if so, where does Passion get it? 
I don’t think Passion needs money,
but Passion sure can cost you money. 
I digress…
   We attended our second car show of this season over the weekend.  In Oklahoma we are already deep in the throes of an extreme summer, and we had a really wonderful time!
These Camaros’ lucky parking arrangement
had me craving a Dreamsicle. 
Bad.  Like, real bad.
“Would you like a white SS with orange racing stripes,
or an orange SS with white racing stripes, ma’am?”
   At any given car show you are likely to see every imaginable shade of red.  Every shade of most colors, actually, but red does seem to dominate.  Car owners, body men, and painters swim in color and pattern just like any other visual artist does.  Some people work hard at staying factory-original; other people take license to be very imaginative with their interior and exterior schemes.  The results are always interesting and often cause for friendly debate. 
   This photograph reminds me of a central theme that makes me kind of emotional.  Patriotism is pervasive, though inarticulate, at these gatherings.  In ten years I have never once heard mention of politics at these events, but there is lots of cultural exchange and fabric-of-life kind of talk.  And so much of it fortifies my opinion of living in this country!
   In sharing with each other your vehicles and your stories, you are helping to build a spontaneous oral history.  You are cross-pollinating the widely flung tales of people, families, and businesses through the decades, over the miles of these United States.
   And by the way, oral histories are arguably the most valuable bits of record we could possess.  More on that another time…
   If you listen closely, you can absorb who was president when this car was popular and why that matters; what industries were strongest then; how music impacted people that year; why someone chose that car and how he paid for it, whether a romance was important then, etc, etc.  Fascinating stuff! 
   People are interesting, and they are very willing to share their stories, especially when those stories can be illustrated by a big, beautiful, well loved machine.    I have seen men and women of all ages bond happily and anonymously this way, and that is just cool.
  
Some vehicles strike the marrow in my bones. 
This perfectly intense black Chevy truck
was one such creature this past weekend. 
I feel like Darth Vader would drive it.
   Speaking of a shared culture, only a few cars at the shows we frequent ever boast this kind of frenzy-causing ability.  This particular car is said to be titled in Georgia AND the owner had installed the right horn in his General Lee! 
   He was happy to oblige the crowd all day long.  Even across the expansive parking lot, Hazzard’s twelve-syllable anthem is absolutely laughter inducing!  Suddenly every one’s a southerner.
  
   If you are too young to have any stories to tell about actual social reform in the 1960s, then you are just exactly the right age to feel like you…
A.)  were blood related to the Duke family.
B.)  at one time were in love with a member of the Duke family. 
C.)  wanted to have your car worked on by Cooter.  Or…
D.)  were sympathetic to poor old Roscoe P. Coltrane and his misadventure sidekick, Flash.

“Geyoog, geyoog, geyoog!”
This is a veritable tuxedo on wheels. 
Even sitting still she looks fast, smooth, and classy.
She kinda took my breath away. 
I just love than rear wheel skirt, so ladylike…
Can you tell from this photo that the bed of this truck is textured? 
   It has been sprayed with bed liner material mixed with the same paint as the body.  What’s special about this find is that Handsome’s Dad is who started doing this way back in the early 1980s.  He was a pioneer, and people who show cars still know him by name.  He owned a body shop where were sown the seeds of automotive passion as well as a very respectable work ethic in his young son, my future Love.
   Saturday’s car show was excellent.  We saw friends, soaked up the sights, and celebrated some common appreciation for a pretty special art form.  Like always, though, at the end of the day we were ready to pack up and drive home.  We had memories to file away, a car cleaning bag to replace to the shop shelves, and a mild case of dehydration to nurse.
   The last thing we do before leaving is attend the awards ceremony.  Should our entry number be called (it often is), Handsome assigns me the task and the honor of accepting our trophy. 

   I dig it baby.  This is my moment.

   I mentally pretend to have not only invented cars but also to have personally designed whichever one we brought that day.  I imagine having hand painted the car with a brush built from a wild boar’s whiskers. 
(Victoria Jackson with Paul Simon? 
Classic SNL?  Look it up, it’s super funny.)
  
   As I sashay up to the microphone, flapping my pointy elbows like a rooster (this is part of the act) I notice a sour, humid odor that proves I have been at a car show all day in 95-degree heat. 

   And without warning my Car Guru fantasy shifts to thoughts of slipping into and drinking in deep gulps of the swimming pool waiting for us at home…

   Cars smell good.  Boys who work on cars smell good.  Girls who attend seven-hour car shows in summertime?  Not so much.


Tiptoeing Through Seeds

   Few normal, everyday events have the power to thrust me into a foul mood more than walking barefoot on a dirty floor.  Especially a hardwood floor encrusted with parrot fodder.  Especially when it happens fifteen feet away from the parrot’s perch. 
   I also hate sweeping and mopping, though.  These rank super low on my list of Pleasurable Domestic Duties.  What an unfortunate combination of personality traits, eh? 

   Introducing our bird, our only inside animal, Bobby Pacino….


“Wannabite?”

   You can just call him Pacino.  Or Peekaboo.  He recently turned six years old and is a really good and loving boy through and through.  But he is messy.  I mean, he is like a toddler crossed with Animal from the Muppet Show in the middle of a tornado.  That kind of messy.

   And while cleaning up after Pacino is not difficult per se, it is a tedious job that needs to be done frequently.  Which translates to, “It gets put off a lot.” 
   Like any job that gets put off, this can be problematic.  Maybe I can get away with not sweeping for an afternoon.  If I scoot his perch a little bit away from our walking path, maybe the floors can even wait until tomorrow. 
   But that causes terrible things to accumulate beneath the loveseat.  And eventually we are all padding around the living room, shaking empty sunflower seeds from our bare feet.  Or cursing the dried red peppers in the adjoining room’s carpet. 
   My last act of defiance against cleaning floors is tiptoeing through the now thickened blanket of seeds, elusive white under feathers, and cracker crumbs that radiates out from Pacino’s throne.  By day two of procrastinating, I lend to my trek across the lower level of our home the same energy you might give to navigating a minefield.  This causes my tension to mount rapidly.
   Almost as soon as I realize we have reached this extreme yet again, I go find the broom & mop.  Ten minutes later the hardwood is restored to safety and smoothness.  We are walking upright again, no longer wasting time, energy, and peacefulness on avoiding this very natural part of life.
   What are you actively avoiding today?  Don’t be like me and spend more of yourself on avoiding a job than you would spend just getting it done already.  Bite the bullet!  Do yourself a favor and fast forward into completion while you are still smiling…


  

  “The fastest way through a problem is solving it.”
~Author Unknown
Thanks for your indirect motivation, Pacino!
xoxoxo
~Momma

Anthropomorphism

   Yes, this is a real word. 
No, it is not a high end retail store
filled with all things mouth-watering.
   Defined by Webster anthropomorphism is, “an interpretation of what is not human or personal in terms of human or personal characteristics.  (Humanization)”  The word is believed to have first been used during the 18th century, not long before the Victorian era of studying animals became super cool, trendy, and fruitful.
   An easy way to wrap your head around this is to think of whether animals have feelings, personalities, etc, any of the things which make the HUMAN animal, well, human.  Remember this is an interpretation, even less scientific than science already is.  Professional and philosophical views on this are all over the map!  What do you think?  Where do we delineate between the rest of Kingdom Animalia and ourselves?
   Two books I have read are excellent resources here.

Studied this in senior English.
At a Catholic high school,
so please don’t prematurely 
freak out about the curriculum of evolution. 
xoxoxo
I checked this out at the library.
I am not positive it has been returned.
What is the maximum fine again?

   Being the very happy every day caretaker of upwards of 36 animals on our crazy little farm, I confidently assert that animals have personalities, moods, thought processes, emotions, you name it!  
   They respond to hormones and instincts, sure; but they also respond to language, tone, affection, social arrangements, and age.  Our parrot in particular is a really good judge of character.  And our black mare is so aware of her physical beauty that she displays pride.  Real, shameful, sinful pride.  On the other hand, she is an excellent mother.
   In this country’s pet-having culture, really, who would dare argue that animals are individuals?  Where things get dicey is at the mention of soul.  And sin, like with Daphne’s pride.
   And this is exactly the intersection where we need answers.  Do all dogs go to heaven?  What assurances should we be offering little kids when they say goodbye?  Especially if you have chosen a Bible path, what do you say?  What do you believe?  And how does this affect your mode of animal discipline?  Yikes. 
   Today is more a day of questions for me than answers.  I want to get a grip on this once and for all.  Please jump in!  

  

The Gardener’s Shadow

   In planning my herbs, veggies, & flowers early this spring, I found a proverb that struck me:

  “The best fertilizer is the gardener’s shadow.” 

  

 
   Do you recall any summer days gone past that were soured with the discovery of a veggie bed overtaken by weeds or some beetle-eaten roses?  Or has your garden ever been neglected to the point of complete dehydration?  Yes for me, on all three counts. 

These are snow pea vines surrounded by grass and weeds.
   But these are totally avoidable disasters.  I would venture to say that most horticultural maladies can be solved with little more than regular, unbridled attention from a person who loves all things green.  Maybe that person is you.
   Growing up, we were fortunate to live nearby and therefore spend a lot of time with our maternal grandparents, both of whom were avid gardeners.  I think back on their bent posture, their wardrobe, their loving habits, and their breathtaking results, and I know in my heart that they enjoyed every aspect of the art.  Sure wish I had some photos of their old cottage gardens to share.
   Grandma & Grandpa Stubbs were not overtly religious to my memory, but based on their meditative devotion to their multiple rooms of paradise, I feel like they were in touch with something gratifyingly spiritual.

   Here are spinach and strawberries in my garden, not theirs.  Theirs would not be riddled with grass like this.

   Who can coax seeds into flower beds
or a dinner salad and not sense divinity? 

Our first batch of red potatoes grown two years ago.  DELISH.
Spicy, crunchy radishes.  So much fun to pluck out of the ground.
And check out those colors!
   They both worked full time office hours (or more) at the family lamp manufacturing business Village Art Lamps and retreated I would guess five or six days a week to the outdoors, all year long. 
   We enjoyed fresh vegetables.  We played in mammoth, fluffy hedges of lemon mint (that concealed the humming air condenser in summertime).  We ate grapes right off the vine near the Elephant Tree. 
 
   It wasn’t really a dead elephant like the grown-ups told us, I remember noticing one day at the ripe old age of maybe six.  But danged if it didn’t look like one!  This was a turning point.  The beginning of my personal enlightenment.
   They sweated and groaned and took lots of iced tea breaks.  Grandma used this very nifty artificial sweetener in a slender glass bottle with a push button dispenser on top.  I loved that thing.  And I loved that she gave me unlimited access to its contents.  (Maybe this explains my adult obsession with diet cola?)
   They rested and looked out at their progress.  They played with us.  They chatted with our parents.  Then they started working again.  Grandpa to this day calls it “putzing around” in the garden, belying the very present element of hard labor, especially for an eighty three year old man.

Blossom #1 on our peach tree, year #2.
   My point is that they always worked in their garden; they stayed there, they didn’t visit twice a week expecting auto pilot to have magically kicked in.  And they enjoyed not just the results but also the process.  They seemed to thrive as much on the food and flowers as they did on the toil itself. 

   As a self centered little girl I was just happy they talked to me so much while I played there under that fragrant Mimosa tree.  Looking back at that scene now, I realize how I learned from them to be patient with little ones.  To not take my “work” too seriously to enjoy the distractions, causing me to miss at least half of the blessing of being a gardener. 
   If you are growing anything right now, keep it up.  Stay in that outdoor room as much as possible, looking, touching, smelling, pruning, watering, tucking in, protecting, feeding, harvesting, just generally putzing around. 
   The more attention you lavish on your Eden, the more lovely it is bound to be.  And the more you enjoy doing so, the greater your cumulative reward. 
   Oh, and if you have your own gardening Grandparents, give them some hugs asap.

 “He who loves a garden
  still his Eden keeps,
  Perennial pleasures plants,
  and wholesome harvest reaps.”                      
~Amos Bronson Alcott