Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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worm or pasta?

Earlier today I decided to bring all of my houseplants to the kitchen and bathe them in a special homemade concoction. It’s cooled pasta water (leftover from dinner last night) mixed with cooled coffee (leftover from this morning). I happen to believe it’s a magical combination and love to do this for my plants once in a while. Then I rinse them off and comb out the brown leaves and feel fancy.

Today something weird happened as I was putting the nourished, shiny plants back in their decorative urns. And I hate to upset you, but it was disgusting. Ok. Deep breath.

I was just standing there in the kitchen, thinking My god I am genius! Why am I even taking these master gardener classes? I have got this under con-TROL. Then I flashed a gang symbol to my own reflection in the microwave door and did the Dougie.

Then I grabbed another soon-to-be-flourishing house plant and it happened.

I saw a long, thin, limp, not quite brown, shiny something very gross hanging from the delicate branches of a croton. I froze. I had just eaten some raw oatmeal with milk and strawberries, and that was all threatening to make a reappearance.

What. The. Heck.

“What is it???!!!” I shrieked too loudly to the empty house. But I couldn’t look away. My face was lowered to the kitchen counter, staring with disbelief at this organic but probably not living item draped across my plant like the weirdest Christmas tree garland ever. I was afraid to breathe, terrified of vomiting right there on the freshly bleached everything. Then I thought, Oh sweet granola, if it’s alive it could be playing dead and might at any moment spring out at me! This was easily the worst moment of my day.

I took a slow step backwards and raised myself upright, breathing deliberately but not blinking. Not looking away from the unidentified gross adornment.

Was it an earthworm? Had I disturbed a soil bed in one of the plants and tempted an extremely long and extremely thin earthworm out of hiding? If so, that was the most disgusting earthworm I have ever seen. So thin. So long. And no head or seams or anything! Eww.

Wait, maybe that not a worm. Maybe… Could it be spaghetti? I had, after all, used the starchy water from last night’s dinner, so maybe one stray noodle had stowed away. And maybe when I added coffee to the bowl it soaked into the noodle and turned it light brown. Maybe I had unknowingly poured the noodle onto my plant.

So I found a long grilling fork and investigated from a safe distance. (And no, I’m not afraid of worms, but if one is playing dead then it is probably afraid me. Scared creatures are scary.) It never responded to gentle prodding, and I could never see any body parts that guaranteed it’s a worm.

I also never got stronger confirmation that it was a noodle.

This whole situation really upset my day. Then when Handsome got home I showed it to him and he recoiled. “What the heck is it?? That is not a noodle! That’s a butt worm.”

Oh boy.

Our animals are healthy. We are healthy. This was becoming quite a problem.

 

what is it?? please help us
what is it?? please help us

 

What do you think, fair reader? Please vote. We need to know. Keep in mind that I snapped this photo after the unidentified gross adornment had been out of moisture for about two hours. When I first made the discovery, it was ever so slightly… plumper. Paler.

I don’t know what else to say. Stray pasta noodle? Earthworm on the Paleo diet? Or a butt worm? And while I don’t want to influence your vote, I did eat an almost raw bratwurst this weekend. Handsome has already googled the whole situation and cast his disconcerting vote.

Eww.

 

 

 

spaghetti carbonara

Hello again! How’s your week so far? What’s on your dinner menu? If you have a blank spot and are looking for something quick to prepare, food that’s filling and energizing and undeniably delicious but not expensive, then I have a suggestion: Spaghetti Carbonara. Handsome and I both love this stuff. It’s comfort food you can cook in about half an hour and with pretty standard ingredients. Plus, it’s a great carb-loading meal. I have a long run scheduled for tomorrow, so this was perfect for tonight. And it’s so full of protein that it leaves you feeling full for a nice, long time.

 

spaghetti caronara
This spaghetti carbonara is fast, easy, and delicious!

 

What You Need:
1 pound pasta (Use your fave! I think this works great with angel hair & penne.)
1 pound bacon (cut the slices into thick chunks)
olive oil
minced garlic
2 large eggs
1 cup Italian cheeses (I like to split it between parmesean & mozzarella, the better the cheese the better the final dish, but the green cans of parm work just fine)
sea salt, pepper, nutmeg, & garlic powder if you really want it
so much fresh parsley

See? I love recipes like this that require only ingredients we almost always have on hand. Great for between grocery trips. Great for economizing a meal here and there. Great for feeding each other on busy weeknights between work, school, homework, sports, and everything else under the sun. Spaghetti carbonara is definitely something you could delegate to a sous chef capable of handling hot bacon. And no planning ahead is required!

What You Do:
cook the pasta in heavily salted water to al dente
while pasta is cooking, fry bacon chunks with minced garlic, season as you like (I add salt, pepper, & nutmeg at every stage)
in a small bowl whisk together the 2 eggs with the cheeses & more spices if you like, add a Tablespoon or 2 of olive oil to that
after draining the pasta, return it to your large pot
add the crispy bacon pieces to the hot noodles
add the egg-cheese mixture, working it through to distribute & allow the eggs to cook through
if it’s not slippery enough, if the noodles seem too dry, drizzle some bacon grease over it & continue working it through with forks until the whole pot has a similar coverage & the eggs are mostly cooked
garnish with lots of fresh parsley then devour

I think this dish is a meal in itself. It’s crazy filling with all the pasta, bacon, cheeses and eggs. Then if you add enough fresh parsley it breaks up the heft and savory flavors and you barely need salad. Your mouth feels satisfied and fresh. But that’s just me. I eat several tons of salad per week, so once in a while it’s nice to just fill up on the guilty stuff. And this recipe yields plenty. You’ll spend less than $10 and only about half an hour but still feed yourselves luxuriously.

What do you think? Is bacon on your menu soon? Are you okay with eating almost raw eggs? Tell me what you’re cooking this week. And how many miles are on your training plan. Tell me everything!

By the way, this post is dedicated to Shel Harrington, a fellow Oklahoma Women Blogger who recently shared a mouthwatering nod to National Bacon Day. She writes about marriage with wisdom and humor, and I appreciate her so much!

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well,
if one has not dined well.
~Virginia Wolf
XOXOXOXO

 

 

morning has broken

We slept late today, not peering out the sunny windows until almost 7:30. I needed it. My mind, my body, my soul… Life is good and beautiful but sometimes very heavy, and the deep sleep has done wonders for me.

Soon I crept outside with perfect coffee, wearing my gorgeous new (thrifted) red satin kimono and snapped a few photos of the farm, this place we have made our home, these nine acres of natural wonder and animal fascination and unending work.

So much work, every where we look. But today is Labor Day, so Handsome and I are resting. We are pausing the long list of projects and chores and repairs in favor of repast and maybe a little romance. I’m hopeful that the deep refreshment of a good night’s sleep will carry over. My husband especially needs it.

 

thornton wilder & morning glories

Part of the reason we slept late today is that last night we partied late. It’s Handsome’s birthday weekend, perhaps you remember, and we had the farm filled with friends until almost midnight. It was wonderful! So much happy, loving energy floating around. So many laughs, so much food. Our hearts and full and our belies ache.

honey bees & passion flower vines
Can you see the tiny caterpillar on the passion flower vines? And the bees were in great big, beautiful clouds around me this morning. So enchanting. I actually believe they love me.

 

Last night I took a small group of kids and one lovely new friend out to see the bees. The sky was pitch black, only a crescent moon and glittering stars to barely light our path. So with a flashlight we all gazed at the bee hives coated in trembling, fuzzy creatures. The kids asked excellent questions and then on the way back up the garden path they harvested a dozen tomatoes and one eggplant in the dark.

 

eggplant in august
My eggplant & tomato bed is looking a bit scraggly but still hanging tough. Still offering us a slow, steady harvest.

 

 

faithful bachelor rooster
This is Lone Wolf, our bachelor rooster. He was rejected from the flock and has taken up with the humans. We love him. He followed me around this morning as I snapped photos.

 

zinnia in august
Zinnias are some of the few blooms still thriving here in the roasting late summer heat. I hope that all my life I can grow wild patches of these cheerful, colorful flowers.

 

horse & llama at dawn
Dusty is as peaceful as can be, getting nice and fat in the middle field. Romulus, on the other hand, is a nervous wreck on constant horse watch. You can barely see him there in the distance.

 

I am frequently stunned by the beauty we find here. Today it took my breath away. Big sweeping views, tiny colorful details. Fragrance, animal chorus, thrumming loving energy leftover from our friends and sustained by Love. There’s so much.

Happy Labor Day friends! I hope that if it’s your wish, you manage to pause all your heaviest work and just soak up the best things. Look around and see your life. Smell it. Taste it. Feel it.

Recharge.

XOXOXOXO

friday 5 at the farm: goose attack

Happy Friday! For this week’s edition of Friday 5 at the Farm, I thought I’d share 5 photos of geese (6 if you count the one of my arm) and tell you a little story.

A few days ago I was minding my own business, feeding treats to the very harmonious cats and chickens in our front yard, trying to catch a nice moment on camera, when the Gangsters (that what we call our gaggle) showed up and caused a ruckus. It was noisy and confusing and ended in violence. Violence directed at me. So, pride wounded, I posted the following photo to Instagram.

goose bite
A goose attacked me and I almost died. “That’s gonna leave a mark!”

All my internet friends were immediately on my side, declaring how scary and vicious geese are, and possibly evil, and how they can’t believe I probably need a tetanus shot and maybe amputation of the offended limb. Goose bites are horrible, right? Then I felt bad. Because, in retrospect, the Gangsters tried to warn me. I was just too caught up in catching a great photo of cats and chickens to pay attention. I’ll tell that part of the story with our Friday 5 photos.

 

Canadian gosling domesticated
Duck-duck, our adopted Canadian gander, approaches from the right while the hens make a graceful exit.

 

South African goose happy posture
The other five, the South Africans, enter the scene quickly but Mia in right in my face. See his different posture? This is a goose in love.

 

South African geese on high alert
This is where the tide turns. I was way too close to their beloved Duck-duck, as you can plainly see from the straight necks on Mama and the other three. Mia, as always, is still curve-necked and honking his love softly.

 

Gaggle of geese protecting their adopted baby
That’s Duck-duck still in the middle of it all. Mia is on the right, trying to protect me. I should have listened to him.

 

goose attack
This is Johnny Cash. He had enough and charged me, biting my tender forearm and not letting go for what felt like hours. (It was probably like ten seconds.) I screamed like a little girl and Mia honked wildly and Handsome came to my rescue.

 

That’s pretty much the whole story. Except that since Johnny Cash has tasted my blood (yes, it bled a little) his bullying has gone to new levels. I cannot go anywhere on this farm without looking over my shoulder. He honks with this particular tone of arrogance that just drives me batty. I woke up from a goose-related nightmare last night. He doesn’t even care.

I still love the geese, even Johnny Cash. Mia has to be careful not to show me too much affection in front of The Gangsters, but his heart still belongs to me.

The End.

Have you ever been attacked by a goose? Let’s have all the gory details.

We’re goin’ ballistic, Mav, go get ’em!
~Goose to Mav in Top Gun
XOXOXOXO

 

 

fancy hotel chocolate chip cookies

Have you ever stayed at a nice hotel where in the afternoon they give you an over-sized chocolate chip cookie, and perhaps it is gently warmed, and most likely it is nestled inside its own brown paper envelope, as if they made the entire batch with you in mind? I have. And the experience is divine. I am telling you right now: If you are a hotel that offers Afternoon Cookie Service, you barely need a pool; you are already my favorite. (But please still have coffee.)

fancy cookies bite

I have goofed around with lots of chocolate chip cookie recipes over the years, leading up to that really fun taste test we hosted a while back. Handsome has his favorites and I have mine. But this? This is borne of a desperate baking moment. I discovered in my pantry a weird collection of extras that didn’t quite match any of our recipes. I tried it anyway, and BAM. Fancy hotel cookies. Like, exactly. Here it is.

Ingredients:

2 sticks real butter, softened
3/4 cup white granulated sugar
3/4 cup packed brown sugar ( I like dark)
2 large eggs (farm fresh, because I grew up with Martha Stewart & Ina Garten)
1 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup quick oats (ground up)
1/4 cup pecans (also ground up, not just chopped)
1 teaspoon baking soda
at least 1 teaspoon good vanilla
1 whole bag of semi-sweet chocolate chips or 2 cups chopped semi-sweet baking chocolate

Prep Work:

Allow butter to soften to about room temperature
Use coffee grinder to grind up the quick oats & pecans (pecans will almost become a paste)
Play music like Iggy Azalea’s I’m So Fancy or, if you’re feeling old school, Reba McEntire’s Fancy

These cookies turned out so tender, so chewy and densely chocolatey, so vaguely flavored of pecans (without the crunch) and just perfect in every way, that I kind of felt fancy. Like I was eating an afternoon hotel treat. So I scrubbed all the tile in our house with bleach, to get that hotel bleachiness. And I played soft jazz. And fluffed the throw pillows and swept the front entry and Windexed all the glass. I changed our bed sheets and folded the tissues into roses.

Then I panicked because we didn’t have reservations, and who would feed the animals while we are out of town? Then a rooster crowed outside the kitchen window and I remembered I was safe at home. Not at a fancy hotel. But the diversion was vivid and lovely.

Assembly: It’s easy & nothing different, once you’ve ground up the oats and pecans.

Cream together the butter and sugars
Mix in the eggs and vanilla
Use a fork to stir together the dry ingredients (including the almost pasted pecans)
Mix those into the egg-butter-sugar loveliness
Stir in the chocolate pieces
Scoop and roll dough into extra large balls (maybe 2 or 3 Tablespoons?)
Bake until just the edges are browned
Allow to cool then devour

crushed pecan chocolate chip cookies
crushed pecan chocolate chip cookies

Will you try this? What is your favorite chocolate-chip cookie strategy? What do you love most about fancy hotels?

I am linking this recipe post to the Oklahoma Women Bloggers page, where every Friday these wonderful ladies collect a different type of recipe. It’s a creative spin on Progressive Dinner Parties, and I love it! This week, desserts. Go see the other yummy ideas!

********************

Today is Handsome’s 39th birthday. Around here, perhaps you’ve noticed, we do birthday weeks. He’s already celebrated with his office family, and this weekend I intend to spoil him rotten and hope lots of friends can join in. It’s his first birthday without his Mom, and so many other family changes since her passing have made the grief sharper, more bitter. I would really appreciate you lifting him up in prayer this week. Thank you friends. I know you will.

XOXOXOXO