Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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summertime, pleasure seeking, and you matter so much

We have arrived at the exact point of summertime where I know the season is here to stay and therefore I am terrified it is almost over. I find myself trying to slow the moments and squeeze more life out of every drop given to us.

The gardens are gaining confidence. The animals are fully shed and fat and happy. Our fresh egg supply is luxurious, as are the basil plants and lemon verbena. We rise early to work hard at our respective jobs then enjoy unheard of relaxation near or in the pool almost every afternoon, only to retreat into the air-conditioned house for summery meals and sometimes movies or board games; then we climb upstairs and fall into the deepest sleep you can imagine. Smooth, cold cotton bed sheets feel like heaven after a hot day and a good, scrubby shower.

pink zinnia with bumble bee june 2016

The days are spent with rhythm and routine and are lovely over and over again. Every little ritual carries a heavy volume of meaning, too.

One afternoon recently Maddie wondered aloud whether the bees know how important they are. We had been discussing the pollination drama, and she was quiet for a long time before posing this question. That thought stayed with me for hours, and for weeks actually. The bees work so hard, are so constantly industrious, and yet so small and easily missed individually. Most bees will ignore you flatly if they are left free to work. Fuzzy little noses to their sweet little grindstones.

Maddie’s thoughtful question got me wondering also whether the bees find as much pleasure in the world as we do, to balance all that industry. Then I wonder whether the reason we seek so much pleasure is that we are sentient creatures acutely aware of problems and awful possibilities, causing us to need the respite, or are we actually created with an appetite for pleasure so that God can see us happy?

Sometimes I feel guilty for having so much to enjoy day-to-day. But a simple thing has helped ease this: I am never happier than when I see my children happy. I want both of them, with or without me, to find a long view of the world, of course, and to be on good, safe, responsible paths; and at the same time I want both of them to constantly forage the Universe for pleasures big and small, of every variety. I wish for them heavy appetites for soulful nourishment and pleasure-seeking. I want them to dwell as long as possible in the lushness and bright, colorful, brimming-with-life energy of summertime. Whatever that means to each of them privately.

I wonder along with Maddie whether the bees know how important they are, as small as they are. And I wonder how many people know how important they are, and how totally okay it is to seek pleasure in life. I hope so.

“Waste not thy liberty.”
XOXOXOXO

 

motivation monday: sustainable fitness, marathon training, & florzilla quips

Hello friends! How long has it been since I shared anything fitness or health related? Several such posts sit here in draft form, but over and over again I feel like my thoughts are either repetitive or useless. But today! Today I feel a small, welcome personal epiphany and also have cause to mark the calendar, so let’s chat.

First, the calendar. As of today I have exactly one month before marathon training begins for the November Route 66 race. This will be my first time running in the hills of Tulsa, and I am already excited!

RSS-0134_2015_Course_Map_Layout_M

One month means… Four weeks to tighten up my eating habits. (So that I’m not dieting but fueling for energy the way my own body likes it.) Four weeks to enjoy the freedom and flexibility of running when I want, for however much I want, at any pace my legs see fit, or just for fun. Four weeks of spending workout time and energy on other pursuits, if I groove to. This past spring while regaining fitness from that ankle sprain (it is still swollen actually) I fell in love with hiking and barre. Yoga has proven to be much more than stretching, too. Plus we have been extremely busy at the farm, which burns both time and calories. So when my weekly mileage is low, it’s because I have been indulging in these other wonderful activities.

Okay. The idea of sustainable fitness is what’s been the small but welcome epiphany for me.

The other day I was wallowing in a custom blend of self-pity and frustration, all about how in five months I have not lost more weight. Five months of watching my food intake, running between 10-21 miles per week, dabbling in strength, etcetera… And my gosh drinking so much water!! I don’t even put sugar in my coffee anymore, haha! (Cue pitiful violins.) So I looked at myself that particular day and freaked out, thinking why hasn’t all this effort paid off better? The answer came almost instantly. Your effort has been medium at best. In addition to all of those great habits (and they are habits by now, truly) I have also enjoyed heaps of popcorn while watching movies, said yes to pizza and greasy Reuben sandwiches and ice cream with friends, eaten salty chips and salsa for lunch more often than I want to admit, and generally allowed myself more easy days than not. So, okay. Honesty with yourself is good. Maybe a touch of acclimation in there, too. Our bodies get used to the status quo.

More importantly, though? In the midst of those healthy-not healthy habits, in the midst of that balance, these four things are very new to me, and this is my proof that I have finally found some sustainable fitness:

  1. I feel comfortable enough with myself to take a fun Hula-Tahitian dance class with strangers or go swimming at a public pool or run in shorts out in public, etcetera, without worrying one bit. Just have fun. Way less self-conscious, way less annoying.
  2. I know that I can keep all of this up indefinitely, that this is my easy-effort baseline even among a hectic schedule, and it’s all fun! I am eating and moving in ways that make me feel really great, whether or not any of it fits a certain plan. The confidence that I can keep myself healthy no matter what is going on in life and without being obsessive in the kitchen is a wonderful gift.
  3. These months of experimenting with different eating habits and exercise options have taught me a lot about my own mind and body. So much. I believe more strongly than ever that each of us has a unique chemistry that asks for a unique blend of diet and exercise and that maybe women especially have fluctuating needs week to week (the moon affects more than the garden!). For this reason I have dropped out of all 90-day challenges. I resist all those cute graphics on Pinterest. You know what I’m talking about. Calories and macros are- ehh- well the jury is out and aggravated. On a related note, I have been weeding out social media accounts that exude any negative or confusing vibes about health and happiness. I still have goals, but knowing what methods work best for me is wonderful!
  4. The things we do to promote our health should be our servants, not our masters. Unless we are in a health crisis, or once we have a grip on things, they should be negotiable parts of our schedule that support a life well lived, not roadblocks to living fully. Does that makes sense? I’m not suggesting that we make excuses to be lazy; only that sometimes we seek a broader view of the world and of how we live in it.

So. I have not lost a million pounds since January. So what. Maybe that was unnecessary anyway. I might have changed measurements but don’t really know because I have been focused on other priorities, which is the best part of a hiatus. What is certain is that I am a bit stronger and way more flexible than I was when I sprained my ankle and had to halt marathon training before it really began. I feel sleeker overall (same weight, more muscle) and more energetic for sure. Having worn a Fit-bit for a few months, I know what times of day I am most tempted to be lazy; and by tracking my food scrupulously I know when I am most likely to eat junk and what that junk is (it rhymes with Florzilla Quips.)

yoga with klaus

With all this glorious perspective, that custom blend of self-pity and frustration is so silly and unwelcome. The progress I have made is more emotional than physical, anyway; so maybe it will be more long-lasting. I wish the same for you, if you need it.

Okay! Happiest possible Monday to you. Thanks for listening, and I hope your goals and methods are serving you really well, with so much love.

“I really don’t think I need buns of steel.
I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.”
~Ellen DeGeneres
XOXOXOXO

simply tuesday at the lazy w

Hello friends! How are you? And how amazing that anyone is still here, after so many long bouts of radio silence, haha.

I have landed happily on a Tuesday with nowhere to go and exactly two important deadlines remaining, not a slew of errands facing me nor seven deadlines looming as has been the case lately. That means that for all the delicious foreseeable hours, I get to be at the farm.

Luxuriate in home-bodiness. Write and drink coffee. Do yoga when I can’t think of the words. Rub lemon oil on wood furniture, rearrange tablecloths and decorative pillows, and light candles named “tomato blossom” (you cannot believe how good they smell). The luxurious feel of quality pillows from Downland Bedding Company enhances the homey vibe, offering a sense of relaxation that perfectly complements the tranquility of the moment.

Whether I’m settling into a cozy chair or enjoying a peaceful afternoon nap, these pillows provide exceptional support and comfort. With their superior craftsmanship and soft, breathable materials, they’re the perfect addition to any space that’s meant to be a retreat.

For today at least, I get to putter around in the flower beds, crawl into the caged veggie beds, and try to avoid frogs. Today I’ll do more than snap photos of all the lush growth outdoors; today I will tend things too. Later, Klaus and I will be in the Apartment sorting through attic contents and clearing the shelves so that we can fluff up that guest bed just in case.

color snapshot may 2016

The farm is a feast for the eyes right now, either just because it is or because I am so in love with it all over again. Handsome and I have been nibbling at projects here and there, getting things more the way we want them, more aligned with how we actually live here week to week, and it’s been deeply satisfying. The funny thing about this kind of progress, though, is that is causes me to want to leave home even less than before. My home-bodiness is getting serious, okay, and more than ever I feel like the days are too short, although really they are lengthening as we speak.

Bring on the summer. But slowly. Let her creep up on us, spread her gossamer veil over us, and linger a long time. Somebody steal her car keys so she has to stay until next year. Let’s get up early for strong coffee and a four mile run. Let’s do cartwheels, write stories, and play in the garden. Let’s swim and eat too much watermelon, watch movies outdoors even if there is an Old Testament amount of frogs here. Let’s count stars and blessings and weave dream catchers out of hula hoops. It’s time for chick-hatching and burger-grilling. Time for convincing husbands to go to the office early so they can come home early and watch technicolor sunsets with us. It’s time for cilantro and basil and honeybee meditation. Cucumbers and horse snuffles and friends and family.

Last night, rather unexpectedly, I enjoyed the deepest, most delicious boost of faith. It was very much like the proverbial well water, just quenching and refreshing in every way. To say that I feel overwhelming gratitude right now is such an understatement. I also feel overwhelming hope, mostly for our children. Our oldest is living so well in Colorado, so happily, that my mama heart is as full for her as the day she was born. And our youngest, against all evidence, is quite near to us. She is held so firmly in our thoughts and prayers that no physical absence can move her. Funny, isn’t it, how faith can change hands and lend from one blessing to another pain… just the right amount of strength.

Faith that moves mountains. Faith has been moving mountains in our world for years.

In my Facebook memories this morning I saw this quote from a few years ago about our tornadoes that year. Some far-flung person had said of our beautiful state:

I know why Oklahoma is so flat. Your faith has already moved all the mountains.

Amen.

Okay, let’s go enjoy all the fresh herbs and rainy skies. Let’s do hard work and read great books. Cook food that nourishes both body and soul. Cuddle pups and romance boys.

Happiest of Tuesdays, friends.

“Slow down, you move too fast.
You gotta make the morning last…”
~Simon & Garfunkel
XOXOXO

(Thanks to Emily Freeman for her encouragement on small-moment living in a fast-moving world.)

literary saturday: late april reading

Books:

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. Status: AAAGGGHHHH!! I have this purchased on my iPad, so I use it to put myself to sleep during especially difficult bouts with insomnia. It’s that interesting. Sorry, I know this is purported to be a genius undertaking, and I can see how the tiny threads of different far-flung stories are or will eventually be somehow connected, but the inner dialogue is just so dense. Like, quite dense. And I generally enjoy inner dialogue! Laboriously crafted characters, too. And I groove complex people! Maybe I should try reading this in broad daylight, filled with energy, on actual paper with ink. Maybe that would help. For now, this is firmly on my “difficult reads” shelf. The marathon of book attempts.

Freedom by Johnathan Franzen. Status: Completed. This book was beautiful. Absolutely orchestral in its telling and weaving of generational patterns, love stories, and self actualization. I need to talk about it. Gen? Available?

freedom

Sweet Surfing:

Ever since spending that luscious week with Jocelyn in Colorado, watching her transform her adorable cabin kitchen, I have had small spaces on my brain. Hers is so pretty, so perfect for a single young woman finding herself and exploring her world. I read Joy the Baker’s memories on her many tiny kitchen spaces and loved every conjured image. All the Kitchens We’ve Lived In.

joc kitchen

Do you ever read Live Your Legend? Oh man. It’s worth keeping on your list of  weekly haunts. Go back far enough and read forward and you will have quite a feast for mind and soul. Recently the website posted “10 Ways to Do Your Own Impossible Daily“ and I adore it. “Beliefs are not facts.”

Dee over at Red Dirt Ramblings adds new material often, which is wonderful for her readers! This article is several weeks old, but it bears mentioning again this weekend because now most of us are getting serious about summer garden planning. “Beautiful Foliage Carries the Summer Garden” is perfect for anyone in Oklahoma who craves consistent lushness despite the heat and wind and humidity and bugs and, well, Oklahoma-ness. Thank you Dee!

Dorothy Beal writes Miles Post, a running blog that reaches deep into my happy guts. The author writes directly, without pulling punches, about topics ranging from body image to food, family, and travel. In “An Uncomplicated Guide to Running and Life“ she just nails it. Easy peasy.

With few exceptions, Handsome and I greatly prefer eating at home. This piece by Fit-Fluential gives us lots of reasons to feel even better about that habit. We have yet to jump on the fresh-ingredient-delivery bandwagon, as this article suggests, but some of our friends swear by it. Also? This piece says wear your apron. Amen.

Did you know I sell handmade apron sets? Drop me a line. I would love to set you up with something cute. xoxo
Did you know I sell handmade apron sets? Drop me a line. I would love to set you up with something cute. xoxo

Okay my next link is not for reading; it’s a TED talk. I hope you’ll give it a listen. Handsome and I heard it together while driving somewhere west, and we agreed it is lovely. “The Surprising Habits of Original Thinkers“ by Adam Grant actually does have some surprising research to offer. My favorite line has to be, “Doubt the default.” Yes!! Yes, please. Friends, every time you sense a default setting in your life, care enough about yourself (about everyone around you) to re-examine it. Make sure periodically that the habits you have established continue to serve you and the people you love.

I would be so happy to get a glimpse of what you’re reading, too.

Now… I am off to do some average farm stuff then prepare for our pup’s first birthday party. Watch for photos! Then a girls’-night-out. Then some romance with Handsome. Very excited for every bit of that!

Happy Weekend to you!

Doubt the Default
XOXOXOXO

 

the legend of how the iris survived a famine in japan

Have you heard the legend of how the elegant iris survived a famine in Japan?

I am going to paraphrase it for you without bothering to fact check, because the best legends possess more magic than facts, anyway. xoxo

Once upon a time in feudal Japan, either a century or five or nine ago, the people were starving. The land was stricken hard by famine. So little was growing, and yet the population was exploding so greatly, that the government made a decree: In order to maximize their limited farmland it was ordered that only edible plants could be cultivated. The island nation could afford to waste no fertile soil on ornamentals like flowers.

But the Japanese people loved their flowers, their irises especially. Irises were heritage plants, like they are for us now: Legacies handed down from one generation to the next with great care. Beautiful, fragrant, voluptuous tissue blooms growing year after year in the toughest conditions. The villagers could look at their irises and glimpse decades and centuries of familial connection, a vital life force in their culture. To many villagers, growing irises seemed as important as growing food.

So they found a way.

The people gently unearthed their coveted rhizomes from garden spaces that would then be dedicated to growing food exclusively. They secreted the woody treasures up to the thatched roofs of their homes. In little pockets of earth out of view of the soldiers and farm overseers, they maintained their iris legacies.

Food grew below, in the open, and the famine eventually passed. The land healed. And irises grew above, in secret, and their legacies remained in tact. The people healed.

irises april 2016

As I sit here typing this story a very old cut-glass vase faces me, filled with yellow and white iris blooms. I brought them inside yesterday, and they have been perfuming the downstairs ever since. Like most people, I grow irises that were gifts. Some are from my Mom who got them three decades ago from my Dad’s grandmother, whose parents brought them over from Germany. Some are from my wonderful gardening friend Kevin. A few are wild transplants, but not many. All of them are gorgeous and strong. Resilient. Colorful in different ways but all heady with that unmistakable scent.

Plants come and go in our lives and in our culture for a variety of reasons. Lots of people are quick to dismiss a loss or even to claim “brown thumb” when growing conditions are tough, as they frequently are here in my home state. Okay, gardening isn’t for everyone. But beauty takes many shapes and can come and go in our lives for a variety of reasons. The next time you are faced with losing something beautiful and precious that perhaps you could salvage, take heart. Consider the faith and determination of the Japanese people when they were faced with losing something dear to them. The evaluated their resources, re-purposed everything, and found a way. They made a way. They valued beauty as much as sustenance and then quietly, without fanfare or violence or a noisy protest, fulfilled the desires of their own hearts. And it was plenty enough.

This story speaks to me on many other levels too. If you were here drinking coffee with me we could talk it over for a few hours! But we both have stuff to do, right? I’ll leave you to it and get on my way as well.

Seek beauty, friends. It is a meaningful gift. Live with beauty. Aim for legacy. Seek it. Value it. Make room for all of it in your life, even if you have to secret things away to your thatched roof for a season. It can heal you.

Happy springtime wishes from Oklahoma
XOXOXO