Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Dad’s Double Nickel

   Last week my dear ol’ Dad passed a milestone. Not a kidney stone, thankfully. A milestone. He had a birthday. So my parents, my youngest brother Philip, our nephew (who is recently driving, FAINT!) and his best friend Matthew came to the farm to celebrate Dad’s double nickel birthday! Our other nephew Koston, from my husband’s side of the family, had been spending a few days at the farm (I need to tell you all about that soon) and he actually helped me prepare the family meal!

   We sat down to the table and shared a giant lasagna with all the trimmings and laughed and laughed and laughed! Then almost immediately after dinner Dad sliced his birthday cake, a butter pecan layer cake with browned-butter cream cheese frosting.


Please note Dad’s strategically placed napkin-bib. 
He thought perhaps the cake was all for him?

   We sang to him and asked if he feels any older. He answered in the affirmative. We spent what little weeknight time we had left watching hilarious videos and laughing some more. Being with my family and laughing is on my sparkly list of favorite things to do. Seriously, it feels so good. And I love to see my parents happy and worry-free for a few minutes. They deserve so much more of that.

My sweet Momma and my Baby Brutha from exactly the same Mutha, Phil.

   The older I get the more I am keenly aware of what a gift it is to have both of my parents alive and in my life, loving me and spending time with me. Handsome’s parents are very much a part of our life, too, and we are so grateful for this. Looking around at our friends, I see more and more people who have lost one or both of their parents by now, so these family events are golden to me. Big holiday occasions are also fabulous, but my soul is nourished by regular doses of easy get-togethers and homemade food.

Koston, 10, eternally dorky me, and Dante, 15. 
I cannot even tell you how much I love these guys.

   To finish his birthday celebration, I would like to tell you a little bit about my Dad, about why I wish you could have a Dad like mine…

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   He played with us all the time growing up, and he helped entertain my friends when I had birthday parties. In fact, as my friends got to be of the “crush having” age, lots of them had crushes on my Dad. This is actually rude, ladies, and weird, but it is nice to have a Dad everyone likes.

   Along this vein, Dad was my first teacher of practical jokes. Pranks. Pretty big ones. I’ll just leave that at that.
   He has taught me a thousand or maybe a million things just by example. His style has always been showing, not telling, and I bet he has no idea how impactful that has been over the years.
   Dad’s work ethic is incredible. He doesn’t stop when he reaches an obstacle; nor does he lose his patience when frustrated; he just works and adapts and continues working until something is done.
   Also? He literally* whistles while he works. No lie. But he’s not a very good whistler, but still.
   Dad has always made me feel like he had a special love for me, and he always seemed to go above and beyond to take care of me, personally. I grew up thinking it was because I am the oldest, maybe because he was so young when I was born, or perhaps simply because of my daughterly awesomeness (not). But in comparing notes with my adult siblings I realize we all have felt loved like this. Without ever once saying the word favorite, Dad and Mom made us all feel that way. And you know what? I am not disappointed in the truth. Not one bit. Watching both of our parents love my siblings through thick and thin, whatever the circumstances or special events, has been one of the most eye opening learning experiences of my life. Way better than continuing to believe I’m their fave. 
   Anyway, it is likely that his heart belongs more to the grand kids now…
My Dad in his first months as a Grandpa, 
pictured here with my first baby.
   To my knowledge, Dad has never missed a grandchild’s birthday party (locally, and I am sure missing his California grandson’s candles has hurt). Here he is at my youngest’s 13th birthday party a few years ago. Dad had just shattered his leg terribly and was probably in a lot of pain, but he came to the farm anyway. We delighted in teasing him about his walker, and against his wishes we decorated it. Well, I mean, the kids did. I had nothing to do with it whatsoever.

   My Dad has always fostered creativity, just by being creative himself  You should see him light up over an invention idea, or a new lamp or furniture design! And to help with his creative streak, Dad can operate any machine you give him. A few Christmases ago he and Mom gave me the serger machine from Village Art, our family’s now retired lamp company. Dad vainly tried teaching me how to thread it and operate it, but the truth is I would much rather him just come out and do it for me so we can talk. Not that we would talk. Because of the whistling.

   One lesson I wish I had learned from Dad a lot earlier in life is humility. He exemplifies it and proves it in his life year after year, and it breaks my heart for him.
   Dad is an excellent cook, and I wish I could find a photo of him wearing his chef’s apron and hat.
   Do you know what the invisible ball/ paper bag trick is? Pretty sure my Dad invented it, and if you visit the farm I’ll teach it to you. It’s amazing. Maybe I can get him to do it on video and upload it some day.
   But I do not wish upon you the horror of a knee-grabber. This is serious business, folks. 
   My Dad is a Power Napper, and he has been known to watch entire television shows through his eyelids. Then he looks at you like you’re crazy if you call attention to his sleepiness.
   Also, he is the fastest walking person on the face of this earth. It is because of growing up around him that I am physically unable to take a leisurely stroll anywhere. 
   I don’t know whether Dad is more talented at tile work or carpentry, because he does beautiful work in both areas. But I can say that the fragrance of fresh sawdust makes me very, very happy. It brings me back to childhood in a split second, and I love that.
   I have reached the age where I am thrilled by my parents’ love and romance, instead of being weirded out by it. Seeing them live their marriage in front of us kids, prop each other up, whisper compliments behind each other’s back… I love every bit of it. Can’t get enough of it now. Seeing how much my Dad loves my Mom, and vice-versa, is such a wonderful gift, and I am deeply thankful for it.
   Among the many things Dad has taught me by example is a love of reading. We only have a slice of overlap in genre appreciation, as far as I know, but I grew up watching him recline in a bustling living room with either a newspaper or a paperback perched studiously in front of him. To me this is relaxation. And I love Dad for teaching it to me.
   No matter what the need, no matter how last minute or inconvenient the request, my Dad will help any of kids in any way that is humanly possible. Same goes for his friends  too, I am sure. We probably never know when we put him in a bind, because he is always the same. He always acts with a steadiness that offers us calm. We know he is always there, no matter what.
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   I could write and write my love for my Dad, and he deserves it, but by now he is probably rolling his eyes at me a little and feeling itchy to get back to work. So go ahead and go walk fast and get something accomplished, Dad!!! I love you and I appreciate you more than you know. Happy 55th Birthday!!!!!
From Your Favorite Offspring**
xoxoxoxo
* Let’s all pronounce this “lit-chrul-lee”
** JUST KIDDING you titty babies!!! I’m probably not is favorite. Probably.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

 

Autumn Arrives

   Happy First Day of Fall, Y’all!! Everywhere I look this week people are gearing up for and smiling about the official change in seasons. Women are wearing knee high boots (guilty) even though it’s not quite chilly enough; stores are happy to sell us artificially colored plastic leaves because our real leaves are still too green to collect; and the Pinterest boards have been flooded with football “game day” recipes. This exuberant thrust into the future tends to happen with a little extra oomph after any one season has been particularly brutal, as was the case with summertime 2012 in Oklahoma.

   I have made my peace with the end of summer.

   Mostly.

   I mean, our pool is still open, soooo…

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   This time of year is sensationally beautiful, of course. In most parts of the country but especially in Oklahoma, we can enjoy all variations of weather and foliage and local foods and also new, boredom-busting activities. Longer, slower hikes outside, pots of soup simmering on the stove, gardening without melting your face off. Watching the sun set comfortably, maybe even with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders. Crisp apples, moist pumpkin bread, and cotton table cloths that you would never use any other time of year…

   I must admit that early autumn is a little bittersweet for Handsome and me. It is the time of year when each of my girls made the decision to live with their Dad. On different years, mind you, but at the same season. On bad days, this is all bitter and no sweet. But then sometimes I can vividly imagine that their homecoming will happen in the fall, perhaps sometime far into the future, to replace the echo of that heartbreak with the celebration of our long awaited miracle. Hope is always sweet.
Our beloved Talking Tree on a particularly foggy morning

   Autumn is also when we had that house fire here at the farm that was started by (get this) a candle I had just purchased at Michael’s THAT SAME DAY to celebrate the arrival of fall!! Can you even believe the poetry in that?! I think it was a cinnamon-apple candle in a big glass jar, and it was almost three years before I could smell anything cinnamon with out feeling nauseous. “Hi, my name is Marie and I am terrified of cinnamon.”
Our front door and first floor may have been gutted, 
but our porch lights stayed lit and the flowers kept on blooming!

   Fortunately, and as a testament to both the power of Nature to overcome everything else and to our wealth of happy family memories, so much beauty remains that every year I cannot help but fall madly in love with autumn all over again.

   I love the flowers of the season…

   I love the pumpkin carving…
Look closely at these seeds… they are actually sprouts! 
They had sprouted inside the pumpkin, in the dark! 
Nature is amazing.
We fed them to the chickens.

…and I love the animal pranks. Kitten-Stuffed-Inside-Pumpkin is a classic. 

Unsuspecting Cat, “Fast Woman,” Circa 2008
Note the wary goat int he background. 
That is Marshmallow. She was no dummy.

 

Unsuspecting  and Unnamed Offspring of Fast Woman’s, Circa 2010
I was more than slightly amused to realize that
our feline-jack o’lantern tradition spanned many years.

But do NOT try this stunt with a goat. Or a buffalo. By comparison, cats are defenseless.
Sweet little Chunk-Hi back when he was still little and free to roam the yard.
See his stubby horn buds? Such a scruffy age, and so tender hearted, 
but still not appropriate for pumpkin-stuffing.

   Speaking of animal pranks, fall is a great time of year to bring your pretty little hens inside…

 …and make them look at fake, Styrofoam poultry stapled to little squares of cardboard. Seriously, if you have chickens just do this, ok? You should SEE the looks on their faces! It’s awesome.

   I love bonfires SO MUCH. Bonfires are easily my favorite thing about autumn. They encourage people to cuddle and talk and laugh hard and loud without worrying how weird their faces look. They send up smoke and embers to point our eyes toward the stars in the moody, changing sky… Bonfires are for s’mores and ghost stories, romance and memories.

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   I love that life is so full of texture. So rich with change and surprise, yet also filled with constant offers of strength and Truth. We just have to accept them. The painful times help us appreciate the happy times. The joyful times insulate us for the inevitable devastation.

   Take time to soak up the details and texture of whatever season you find yourself in. Accept its gifts, rise to its challenges, and whenever possible gather your loved ones around a bonfire and love each other through it.

And Take More Pictures!!
xoxoxo


Crunch Time in the Garden

   So, we all know it is hot and dry outside. I don’t know about you, but I have had to actively drum up some serious optimism and a deliberately glass-half-full attitude about this most recent chapter of our 2012 garden adventure. Week after week of triple digit heat coupled with extreme drought conditions have left our landscape crunchy, dusty, and reluctant to yield anything green, much less anything juicy and edible. What started off as a beautifully promising year of growth and photosynthetic magic has deteriorated painfully into a barren classroom. Why a classroom? Because I have learned so dang much this year. Really, the learning and our luscious early summer harvests are exactly what make the optimism possible in the face of this, well, this brutal desert.

   The garden is a brutal desert here right now.

   The once lush and jungle-like cucumber box, where earlier this summer a guinea hen had felt safe enough to lay her eggs in secret, now holds only dry dirt, some withered and tortured squash vines, and that same sad clutch of eggs, now hard cooked by the sun.

This ocean of green lasted a nice, long time and produced LOTS of food,
and I know it will make a comeback soon!

   But the garden is also still a classroom.

   I am learning better watering techniques, better insect control, the benefits of close planting as well as of raised beds, and the stubbornness of okra (more on that soon). I am learning about corn, watermelon, soy beans, and cinnamon basil. We are learning about eggplants and tomatoes, and what not to mulch (squash and zuchinni, believe it or not).

In addition to boasting superior flavor,
homegrown cukes are even green on the INSIDE!
Absolutely gorgeous. I squealed when I saw this for the first time!

   I am actually thankful for these extreme conditions. They force me to garden purposefully and encourage me to appreciate small victories and hidden beauties, every single heat-stroked day.

  And it’s not like we haven’t had any edible success… Although I never collected enough to sell at our local Saturday morning farmers’ market, I did collect plenty to use in our kitchen and share with friends and family.   This makes it all worthwhile, even if Handsome hasn’t managed to retire on my watermelon profits. Ha!

This photo represents an average morning harvest right up until the last week in July:
Okra, tomatoes, peppers, herbs, squash, cukes, and eggs.
I feel blessed to have enjoyed so much for so long,
and, again, I KNOW we will be seeing more soon!

   Okay. So what’s next? I am still trying to garden organically and to observe a lunar calendar. It not only provides some structure to my long list of good intentions; I believe, looking back, that it has helped in spades this year. (LOL) I have had excellent luck with seed germination by planting during the fertile weeks, and I have had almost zero re-weeding chores to do after removing the beasts during barren weeks.

My veggie garden’s own private Boing Boing Spider, Rachel.
She took up residence in late May and has grown steadily,
building her thick web and trapping dozens of unsuspecting bits of flying protein daily.

   Yep, the garden is crunchy and the sun is still high and hot, but the season is Not. Quite. Done. Yet. Here in Oklahoma we still have at least three, probably more like four additional months of growth and health to enjoy. That’s like twelve weeks, you guys! And thanks to hurricane season, our much anticipated weather shift should make these coming months fabulous. More like the season’s beginning than its middle.

While preparing for our friend Rebecca’s wedding back in May,
a new friend and gardening blogger Dee
suggested I plant zinnias for quick color and cheer.
They have always been a favorite of mine,
and now that they have proven their earnestness in an Oklahoma drought and heat wave,
I shall never garden without them again! 
   Garden on, friends. Don’t give up. Just rest your soul a little bit and let your soil rest a little bit too. Remove those weeds at the right time. Feed those plants if they need it. Lighten their loads by trimming leaves and vines that sap too much energy. Deal with pests. Water, water, water. Offer shade. Plant new seeds and seedlings when it’s safe to do so. Keep a long term view of this dangerous adventure, like so many things in life, right?

Love your garden even when it’s ugly and suffering. 

   Most importantly, in my humble opinion, take note of your experiences this year, both your successes and your failures. Count your blessings and plant them like seeds in your heart and water them so they grow into gratitude and joy.

   Later this week I will be posting a list of garden tasks for this unusual time and a schedule for August and September. If you too are watching the moon and suffering some crazy weather, it may be interesting to you. In the mean time, will you please give some thought to the idea of friendship? I am also working out some ideas on friendship in childhood versus friendship in adulthood and would love your input. When is it easier to make friends? What are the merits of friendship in each phase of life? Super interesting.

   Garden well, friends! Best wishes! I hope you are still loving the science and magic of it all, despite these temporary challenges. And treasure your friendships, both silver and gold.

“Gardening is a Matter of Your Enthusiasm Holding Up
Until Your Back Gets Used to it.”
xoxoxoxo

 

Senses Inventory: Friday of Possibility

   By 9:07 this morning I had finished my strongest run of the past week, 
started a big load of laundry, fed the animals, 
and fought off no fewer than six moments of deep despair 
over things beyond my control. 
Walking back outside with my last cup of perfect coffee,
I noticed the sky was different. 
I remembered a recent love letter from my husband. 
And I saw the day ahead of me as a clean canvas. 
Giddy over this complicated spark of energy 
cupped in my hands like that fated Baby Bumblebee 
that is always getting carried home to someone’s mommy, 
I sat down to take this inventory.

Seeing:  Metallic gold and silver clouds filtering the brilliant sun in the east and low, dark purple clouds sheathing the sky in the south and west. More pools of shade on the ground than I have seen here in weeks. A giant red wasp hanging the air above the water sprinkler, which is providing a wet playground for our five geese and occasionally a few of the chickens. Shimmering wet grass beneath all of this activity. Big trees waving their leafy arms at the new day. Four leggeds calmly finishing their breakfast.
Hearing:  The chit-chit-chit and then the giggling spray of the helicopter water sprinkler, the authoritative drone of the pool pump and too-loud suction noise of the filter there. Chickens clucking, geese whining, and guineas doing their necessary battle over property and sex. (They can’t live with each other; they can’t live without each other.) Locusts filling in the gaps between all of these sounds, a constant humming backdrop that feels meditative today, not desolate.
Smelling:  Sunblock. Sweet, sharp horse manure. Something full of pollen in the flower bed behind me. And dirt. I love being able to smell bare dirt. It smells clean, which is funny.
Tasting:  Salty sweat when I lick my lips and the last long swallow of sweet coffee, cold now because I have let it sit on this patio table too long while I soak up my surroundings. But it’s still delicious, and I can chew on the grounds that have fallen to the bottom of my cup.
Touching:  Breeze! An almost cool breeze, refreshing and light, not like the furnace blast we are so used to feeling these past few weeks. I still feel heat on my bare skin, but it’s comfortable at this early hour, still that pleasant summer heat that makes me want to invite all of our friends over to cook steaks and watch the fireflies come to life. The kind of pleasant summertime heat that makes me glad for bikinis and chlorine, watermelon and sweet iced tea. I also feel the rough plastic of my sunglasses’ arms behind my ears, where I have probably held them carelessly between my teeth. And I feel the excellent plush lawn chair cushion holding me firmly in this moment.
Thinking:  About the power of positivity, of gathering together your strengths rather than all the time searching out and magnifying your weaknesses (and those of others). Thinking of the gardens, of how many weeks might be left before the beautiful transition to autumn veggies and fruit orchard work. Thinking of my Mom and what it was like for her when I left home. Thinking of how much I have in life versus how much I give or produce.
Feeling:  Relief to have spent time with my girls yesterday, to see them so healthy and vibrant. I hope they are as happy on the inside as they appear to be on the outside, and I hope they know the truth of things despite some ugliness surrounding them. I hope they don’t mind resembling me so much, as sometimes teen aged girls hate to look like their Moms. Feeling worry for my sister and her children, confidence in my husband, excitement over a new writing project, and an overarching, belly trembling hope for our immediate future. I feel happier and more stable than I have in a long time.
Here at this farm we are not without problems, confusion, grief, or failure..
But we are so flooded with help and miracles!
We are steeped in natural beauty that reminds me of this grand design.
We are given morning after morning to start fresh, to enjoy the small rituals all over again, 
to try once more to not only get things right but also to build things up.
We are surrounded by good, strong, smart people who despite our failings… love us.
And together we keep circling this dream and this root of love 
that is worth everything.

Wishing You a Perfectly Love Filled, Miraculous Weekend!
Take a Minute to Notice Your Beautiful, Unique Life.
xoxoxo

Chicken Caesar Po’ Boys and a Glitzy Grimy Cafe

   Okay you guys, last night our supper was another Nawlins-inspired recipe, something (sort of) healthy and high in protein so we could feel better about polishing off those Pecan Pralines. YUM. This meal was neither complicated nor terribly original, not really even Cajun, but for Handsome and me it will always evoke good memories of a special meal in our favorite city.

   The place where we grabbed this meal is called Angeli’s on Decatur. Like most spots in the Quarter, it is very, very old. It boasts exposed beams and peeling paint, happily chaotic gallery walls made up of mostly Mardi Gras images, and over-sized mirrors. Late each evening, one plainly painted wall in the dining room is the screen for playing old projected movies. How cool is that? But my favorite part is what hangs from the ceiling…

   Multiple disco balls and star shaped, glittered lanterns strung up in constellations all over the room deny the age and shabbiness of the cafe. This much careless, happy contrast pleases me deep in my belly, and I plan to copy it pronto, Tonto.
   Okay, here is the food… Handsome ate his in Po’ Boy form; I ate mine as a breadless salad; and soon we both pushed away our plates, stuffed. But not too stuffed for another Praline. Duh.
This is a recipe approximation… All you do is…
  • Season and grill some boneless-skinless chicken breasts then chop them into bite sized pieces…
  • Then in a large skillet, heat up some olive oil for re-warming the chicken I had grilled mine earlier in the day and cooled them, to avoid the heat of the evening…
  • Along with the chopped chicken, add to the skillet a third of a bottle of Caesar salad dressing and stir it all up, heat it through, etc. This worried me at first but it doesn’t burn at all. And it smelled delish, baby. The aroma drew Handsome in from the green room during an episode of Storage Wars. This is a big deal, you guys.
  • Split, butter, and toast a simple French bread loaf. Layer it with ribbons of cold romaine lettuce and then top with the hot, dressed chopped chicken. I added to my salad a handful of cherry tomatoes from our garden! No extra salad dressing needed, because the chicken was so moist and flavorful.
  • We also ended up adding Parmesan cheese to our respective plates, the super classy kind that comes in a green plastic can. Because we are very high falootin folks.
   That’s it! We loved this even more than the original and will end up adding it to the main menu rotation around here. I’m excited about having a satisfying, nourishing meal that has this kind of emotional value, you know?
   What are you cooking this week? What memories does it evoke?
“Memory is always faulty. Emotions are always true.” ~Anonymous
Gently Wrap and Preserve Your Best Emotions
xoxoxo