Lazy W Marie

okc will rogers park gardens

September 23, 2015

Welcome to the third installment of the Oklahoma County Master Gardeners’ 2015 Members’ Tour!
If you are just joining the eye candy parade, please feel free to explore stop #1 here and stop #2 here.
Our tour bus’ third stop that fine late summer day was at a local public landmark, Will Rogers Park.
Hope you enjoy!

The gardens at Will Rogers Park have for many decades been popular for weddings, social gatherings, civic receptions, and all sorts of special photography sessions. I think most locals have good childhood memories wrapped up in these 116 acres. The grounds have recently undergone a perfectly stunning transformation, and exploring in early September was the perfect way to take it all in. I am so glad this place was included in the Members’ Tour. My photos, as usual, will not do any of it justice, so I hope my Oklahoma friends will find time to venture to N.W. 36th & Hefner Parkway and feast your own eyes. We all know that the gorgeous Myriad gardens in downtown OKC get lots of fanfare and tourist attention, but this mainstay is enjoying a new season of youth and beauty. Totally worth the drive.

First, some interesting history, courtesy of our tour guide John, a 28-year veteran horticulturist for the park:

WRP was founded in 1912, one of four parks around the city, all connected at that time by the OKC speedway known as “Grand Boulevard.”
The 116 acres started as a dairy farm, and the original farm house stands on the property to this day.
The WPA and the CCC did the construction work and hardscaping early on, though every decade since has brought new redesign and updates. Truly a fun work in progress.
The public gardens finally opened in 1936.
The existing Conservatory was once our State Fair Grounds.
The Conservatory has been remodeled at least twice; once in 1970 by Ed Lychon and again in recent years, to the tune of about $2 million. Today the gorgeous, modern, light filled building is used as a special event center.
Another fairly new expansion at WRP is the one-mile walking trail, which is used daily by all sorts of happy gartden guests.
Over the years, WRP has been maintained mostly by volunteers from both the Master Gardener group and the Oklahoma Horticulture Society, also sometimes a women’s recovery group. The park has a limited budget and only three full time employees. Even so, virtually all of their plant material is propagated on grounds. All the color and texture you see here is grown from seed, and they focus on plants that the average homeowner could obtain locally. Kind of amazing.

Now, a glimpse of the grounds. We visited mid-morning on an early September day. The sky was nearly cloudless, and the air was already hot and humid. Thick, like always. Oklahoma had just enjoyed a nice, wet summer, so anything that could bloom was really putting on a show; and anything that had something to offer the pollinators, well, they drew a fluttering, buzzing crowd for us to walk through. It was really magical. Our group did seek the cool of shady corners now and then, but the gleaming beauty of each new area was just so thrilling. So bursting with life, like maybe we were in Oz.

Every vista here offers a new reason to gasp.

These gardens prove that Oklahoma offers a fantastic show of color in early September.

Purple and red together. Again, en masse. The gardeners at Will Rogers simply do not operate in small quantities. haha

This simple expression of strong growers speaks straightto my own heart. Big, fluffy irnamental grass in a sea of black sweet poato vine. My gohs!! And frineds, this photo shows just a fraction of the long, long, long bed filled with this plant combo. Stunning! — This simple expression of strong Oklahoma growers speaks straight to my own heart. Big, fluffy ornamental grass in a sea of black sweet potato vine. My gosh!! And friends, this photo shows just a fraction of the long, long, long, wide bed filled with this plant combo. Stunning!

Speaking of bold statements using reliable growers, what do you think of this white vitex growing against he tropical backdrop of a non-hardy banana tree? — Speaking of bold statements using reliable growers, what do you think of this white vitex growing against the tropical backdrop of a non-hardy banana tree? I vote yes.

The ancient roses may be gone, but this landmark fountain and round concrete pool are still here, almost in the center of the acreage. Talk about childhood memories!

Not far from the fountain you can explore the herb garden, divided into tidy sections by a smooth sidewalk. Our tour guide described some experiments they are trying here (no more Swiss chard, he said) and showed where the stout Oklahoma winds have done some damage to taller plants. Nevertheless this area is gorgeous. Well kept, thriving, interesting. Just like the rest of the place. And friends, my herb garden at the farm looks EXACTLY this perfect. (not) : ) — Not far from the fountain you can explore the herb garden, divided into tidy sections by a smooth sidewalk. Our tour guide described some experiments they are trying here (no more Swiss chard, he said) and showed where the stout Oklahoma winds have done some damage to taller plants. Nevertheless this area is gorgeous. Well kept, thriving, interesting. Just like the rest of the place. And friends, my herb garden at the farm looks EXACTLY this perfect. (not) haha

So peaceful. In addition to zen-seeking people, this pond attracts lots of birds and wildlife. Evidently the Canadian geese eat everything except yellow tulips.

Loofah! Seems like everyone is growing loofah these days except me. True to form, though, Will Rogers gardens is boasting a long, deep row of loofah, like so many green-draped sentinels. — Loofah! Seems like everyone is growing loofah these days except me. True to form, though, Will Rogers gardens is boasting not one but many loofah vines, a long, deep row of these beauties, like so many green-draped sentinels.

WR pollinator kit — Believe it or not, this plush, full-sun garden was grown from seed using a mail order pollinator kit. Color me tempted!

WR kit closeup — This photo is a little blurry, but I couldn’t resist a closeup of some of the flowers in that pollinator garden.

I remember visiting Will Rogers gardens as a little girl, all of us girls wearing our long cotton pastel Easter dresses, bangs twisted back in barrettes, having our photos taken in the sun, near the pond. We ran up and around the sidewalks, falling in love with the shady concrete paths and running across the green lawns. I remember thinking even then how dangerous and delicate rose bushes were. How temporary and unfeeling they seemed. I threw lots of coins in the fountain pool and conducted my fair share of make believe stories in the cobblestone shelters. Wonderful memories that were probably very formative for me.

You know what, let’s double back to those roses. Locals know and love this place for the dozens upon dozens of thriving rose bushes that once grew, making WRP home to the fourth largest rose garden in the world; but just like at almost every other property in the region the plants were stricken by Rose Rosette’s disease. The horticulturists here made the angsty decision to rip all of them out and start fresh with new garden designs. Brand new plant material, all propagated on site in the spacious, drool-worthy grow houses. In fact, Master Gardeners were some of the volunteers to install all of that glorious color you see above.

So, it’s too bad about the roses. For sure. But my gosh. How true to the Oklahoma spirit that they found a way to extract this kind of beauty from such a loss. It just makes me happy.

Here are some of my personal takeaways from the WRP tour, lessons I’d like to apply at the farm:

Make plant selections suitable for the vacancies you are filling. Consider light exposure, wind, trees, etc. Be experimental but also deliberate about it. (This seems more obvious than it is when I am traipsing through the nursery…)
Learn more about drought-tolerant plants and Oklahoma Proven.
Plant single flower types in extra large quantities. “En masse’ is super impactful! John said halfway ashamedly that they “kinda overdid it,” here and there, haha but I disagree. It is all so gorgeous!!
Spend some energy on repetition and exciting combinations of color and texture. More planning, less dice rolling.
Consider keeping replacement plants growing in a spare location, especially for those beauties done En Masse.
Plan to reevaluate the garden each fall, taking stock of what grew well, what struggled, what could be improved. Work on soils, clean things up, and spend the winter preparing for spring.

Something I appreciate about WRP is that, though they operate on such a large scale, they have found ways to overcome many of the same problems we face as homeowners and small scale gardeners. For example, they have a limited budget. They have little irrigation, relying almost entirely on rainfall. They strive to grow Oklahoma natives as well as plants that are either sourced locally or can be propagated on site. And they have lots of work to do with very little time to do it, haha! Sound familiar? They do not even own their own wood chipper! I mean, it is humbling in the sense that what they have accomplished here obliterates all my excuses. And it is inspiring for exactly that same reason.

My herb bed looks better than this now but also much crazier! Nothing at all like the tidy sections at WRP. I had to clear my conscience.

Okay friends, thanks a million for stopping here again! I hope you enjoyed this slice of the Members’ Tour. We still have five more properties to explore, so stay tuned!

“The worst thing that happens to you
may be the best thing for you
if you don’t let it get the best of you.”
~Will Rogers
XOXOXOXO

elizabeth’s exquisite shady retreat in heritage hills

September 17, 2015

Friends, before we embark on the second of eight garden tours, I need to explain an intense physical reaction I had to Elizabeth’s gorgeous (exquisite!) property. It happened to me in two parts: First, as the tour bus pulled into her Heritage Hills neighborhood, I immediately recognized the streets and front yards as the shady neighborhood toward the end of the marathon route, I am guessing around mile 24? It’s where I was really crying hard last April, all sad and hungry and pathetic. So I sat there on the tour bus, sort of paralyzed in my plush seat and nauseous for a moment. I had to actively remind myself that I was wearing a long dress and sandals and no one could make me run today, haha! The second part of all this was the overwhelming relief I felt as soon as said sandals hit the cool, sheltered sidewalk leading up to her house. Elizabeth and Pat were standing there to welcome us, too, so my heart was pretty much dissolving into happiness. Whew!

These lovely women!! Pat Chivers in the red tee shirt organized our tour, and you may remember she was my mentor last autumn at Master Gardener class! This is Elizabeth with her, welcoming the big group. I am so glad to know them both. xoxo — These lovely women!! Pat Chivers in the red tee organized our tour, and you may remember she was my mentor last autumn at Master Gardener class! This is Elizabeth with her, welcoming the big group. I am so glad to know them both. xoxo

The overall mood of Elizabeth’s garden was tranquil. Cooling. Soothing. Truly elegant and inviting, maybe even in the Be careful ma’am you might soon find a bunch of us having coffee on your back patio kinda of way. I mean, you walk up to her front steps, beneath this stunning blue spruce, then around the side of her home past a pergola dressed in ancient grape vines, and finally to the back, and feel like you have entered a true Southern estate touched by a bit of Japanese Zen.

Before we chat much more, here is the write up of Elizabeth’s garden provided on our tour sheet:

After three years in her Heritage Hills home, Elizabeth continues to benefit from an existing landscape design. She says her garden is definitely a work in progress. She likes to experiment with shade-loving perennials and enjoys dabbling with annuals for color and to benefit the butterflies. She likes to give different vines a try and has them in pots so she can move them to capture sun and shade. A lovely, old pergola supports a very old grapevine, and be sure to check out the mature sycamores and American Elm here. These trees have had a long life on this small property and provide much needed shade throughout the hot summer. This garden is eclectic and a work in progress which brings the gardener much joy and lots of shade. Spots of sun host pots of flowers and vines and maybe a small fountain in the future.

I love this description and have to repeat that all of it together, but maybe especially the big, old trees on a smallish lot give it the feel of the Deep South. Luxurious closeness and calm. Elizabeth has incorporated some pops of bright color here and there, mostly the cheerful pink of begonias, but the ruling color scheme is blue-green-grey and all things cool. Lots of white edges. I just loved it. This is something I have craved but not had had the nerve to attempt, and she did it. She did it very well. The design is sound, of course, but then there is all the scrupulous attention to detail, the impeccable grooming, the perfect borders and rinsed off surfaces.

Even with its cool color palette, Elizabeth's front porch offers such a warm welcome. — Even with its cool color palette, Elizabeth’s front porch offers such a warm welcome.

Is her clematis not downright bridal? I have big dreams for my little baby clematis, in case we ever host another wedding. ; ) — Isn’t her clematis not downright bridal? I have big dreams for my little baby clematis, in case we ever host another wedding. ; )

In addition to the deep, wonderful front porch, her home boasts an expansive concrete patio out back, raised almost to a second story level and plushly furnished for outdoor living and cooking. We also spotted several sweet little seating areas throughout the shaded backlawn. I saw a patio with a chiminea (which was capped with a colorful glass gazing ball, so fun!) and a darling painted iron bench, for starters.

Beneath and within this grove of trees, you can smell the peat, the air is as cool as an indoor room, and I kept catching a vision of all of us sitting with coffee, talking for hours.

Elizabeth's flexible use of potted flowers made every little corner soft and fluffy. Again, so inviting. — Elizabeth’s generous use of potted flowers made every little corner soft and fluffy. Again, so inviting.

The mostly formal, estate-like feel of the gardens was made perfectly cheerful and personal with Elizabeth’s judicious use of garden art. What fun!

This penny-covered sphere nearly blended into the dark soil. I only saw it on close inspection of some perennials. What a fun surprise! And I think it's both fun and elegant. — This penny-covered sphere nearly blended into the dark soil. I only saw it on close inspection of some perennials. What a fun surprise! I think it’s both whimsical and elegant.

I have not yet mentioned her Japanese Maple collection. A nice variety of these gentle, feathery trees with their colors ranging from soft rust to quiet purple or mahogany lent the otherwise green paradise some blood. Just a little heat. They grew quietly in the shade or dappled shade and nearly blended in with the bark of their much larger counterparts, the sycamore and Elm; but then without warning they would take center stage. Just magnificent. At a quiet moment toward the end of our stay (I could have stayed here all day, really), I asked our hostess whether she has a favorite Japanese Maple among the collection. She looked around affectionately and answered no, she doesn’t really, though there is that one frilly one there she likes a lot. At this, she smiled and maybe she winked.

The maples at varying heights and fullness, the hostas, the mossy rock paths, so many layers and variations on the theme of soft and cool and quiet… All of it together was a symphony of summertime in the south. I was tempted to believe she had even designed the patterns for how the sun poured through the tree branches. It all worked together beautifully.

Someone should totally linger here and write a classic novel.

Details that made a big impression on me personally:

I fell in love with her use of different vines in containers. Big, tumbling, voluptuous plants climbing up elegant supports and spilling over the edges of pots… Loved it.
I loved the sense of symmetry and balance everywhere. Walking through her garden you feel connected to both the ground and the under story of those big trees. You can also feel the symmetry from left to right, front to back. Everywhere. It felt good. Safe.
I really liked how aggressively the small trees were pruned. Redbuds, maples, a white crab apple, and more boasted clean legs and spacious, reaching tops. It allowed tons of sunshine which created so many lacy shadows.
Always a sucker for contrast, I was smitten by the many casual blooms filling fancy pots, maybe dressed up with iron ornaments. It reminded me fondly of the French Quarter, where shopkeepers grow asparagus fern in ornate bowls, for example.

Lessons and Take aways:

Never underestimate the power of good grooming. Perfectly weeded beds, razor sharp edges, black-brown mulch and soil, and well pruned trees and shrubs… All the attention to health and cleanliness makes the visitor feel settled, safe, at rest.
Master the art of the vignette. A painted bench with a trio of potted flowers or vines, placed right where you need it, is the sweetest thing.
Honor your color scheme, if you have chosen one. The ruling palette of blue-green-grey, carried throughout her property, made everything feel cohesive and intentional. This doesn’t prevent you from playing with other little pops of color, but it proves how powerful a color scheme can be in the garden.
Don’t surrender to shade, but work with it. Improve the soil, expand the beds, love the trees. Collect shade loving plants like hostas and hydrangeas. Bless the cool and use it.
Connect different beds with wide, clean walkways.
Incorporate symmetry at garden gates or key vistas. Grow pairs of big shrubs, arrange pairs of potted flowers, etc.
Look hard at existing garden design and build on it as you incorporate your own personality. Especially a property with nearly ancient trees needs care with long term vision and a sense of respect for history.

Thank you so much, Elizabeth, for a truly wonderful slice of time in your paradise. I walked away inspired, calmed, challenged, and feeling very loved for some reason. Your garden exudes your sweet spirit, and I am so happy to have met both.

“Garden as though you will live forever.”
~William Kent
XOXOXOXO

freddie hill’s eclectic moore gardens

September 15, 2015

Our first stop on the garden tour was in old Moore to see Freddie Hill’s small, creative, handicap-accessible, highly personalized, and truly uplifting slice of heaven. His front yard and back yard both are packed with handmade garden ornaments and plants of every variety, and just walking along the cozy, meandering paths I felt the creativity rubbing off on me. Here is the write up provided on our tour sheet:

Freddie Hill’s home in Moore had no landscaping when they arrived 38 years ago. Their gardens evolved from a family vegetable garden and a raised strawberry bed. He built his mother a water garden then built his own. All gardens were designed to be (handicap) accessible and can be tended in 15 to 30 minutes each. There is a keyhole garden, a walled butterfly garden, hardy and non-Oklahoma-hardy succulents, water, bog, and terraced, all designed to be a teaching landscape with perennials and seedling annuals. Vegetables are mixed into ornamental gardens. The 2013 tornado meant reconstructing some of the gardens.

The experience of touring Freddie’s property was lilting. Stimulating. Such a perfect way to start the day, especially with the morning sun streaming over his orange tree. Every little space in the standard city lot has a purpose, a focus, and I was flat out amazed by just how much he has managed to include in a relatively small space. Yet none of it looks cluttered. Every bed is well tended. Weed free, mulched, healthy, overflowing with life. Every path is clean and plenty wide enough to enjoy in a leisurely way, maybe brushing against something fragrant or ticklish now and then. And the close quarters afforded us fun surprises around every bend.

Check out the ginormous leaves on this oregano. The fragrance... Wow. — Check out the ginormous leaves on this oregano. The fragrance… Wow.

Here is Freddie talking to part of our group about his beautiful orange tree.

freddie cacti — Succulents and cacti galore!

I got lost walking the narrow, interesting paths. Each one is different and wonderful.

While everyone else is adding glass bottle trees to their landscape, Freddie has added a painted plastic bottle tree to his backyard, and I love it!! So whimsical.

Speaking of trees, look at this clever flower pot organization. Guess what my husband will soon be building? : )

Just such fun.

Here are some details that especially delighted me:

He has a narrow wooden shelf loaded with small succulents, I think it was on a fence wall as you enter the back. Really eye catching. And as it turns out, this just hints at the stunning collection in the far corner of his backyard. I don’t know if this foreshadowing was intentional, but it was wonderful.
He has placed a tall ornamental grass to sort of fluff up or disguise a bare tree. I loved the effect! The tree’s trunk was covered demurely with the grass then the canopy topped it all. The effect was so freindly.
He grows already tall, magnificent zinnias in raised beds, causing them to look about eight feet tall, haha it was magical! I felt like I was in Oz.
I spotted a low pyramid of castoff bowling balls. Bowling balls in the garden? Okay! Loved it so much I laughed out loud.
A massive, long legged, casual potted plant perched atop a tall Grecian stone pillar? Clever mix of styles. This is my jam. I will be copying this idea.
His koi pond should probably be photographed for a water garden magazine. (Sadly none of my photos turned out.) There is a magnifying bowl at the surface where the fish come to eat, and it affords a great view of the beautiful creatures.
Freddie has added so many personal touches everywhere… I lost track. Mirrors on the fence wall, old iron headboards, clay art, the plastic bottle tree, you name it. Having never met the gentleman before this day, I felt somewhat acquainted with him after touring his garden. And isn’t that a wonderful thing?
He grows loofahs, cucumbers, oranges, figs, autumn clematis, portulaca, every sort of cacti, herbs, licorice, gomphrena, cypress vine, and much more. So much more. And I overheard conversations about how he sources his plant material. Everywhere! haha, I love it.

What are the big lessons and take-aways from Freddie’s garden? Here’s how I see it:

Infuse your outdoor spaces with your true personality. Adorn your garden. Don’t be shy.
Use what you have and be creative rather than shopping retail for everything pretty. And YES to mixing styles!
Learn to see small spaces as opportunities rather than limitations. Use them to build tight shapes and curving, overlapping paths. The small spaces will cause visitors to walk more slowly, absorb every detail.
Speaking of small spaces, YES you have room for a compost bin system! And it can be attractive in its own right.
Speaking of paths, finish them. Gravel, mulch, something. Define your garden paths and give them a good surface for meandering. Think in curves instead of straight lines.
Build and groom your gardens with realistic maintenance in mind. Raised beds may be an excellent solution. And consider building them taller than you’d expect. This will bear the unexpected gift of jaw dropping, skyscraper plants! : )
Design your smaller gardens-within-your-garden with themes and focus but be flexible about the contents. Sprinkle in some veggies here and there. Offer surprises.
Let things evolve over time. A beautiful garden does not have to be installed in a weekend.

Freddie, thank you so much for opening you home to us! I was on cloud nine after visiting, and I am already exploring our farm with fresh eyes. Looking for empty spots where I can apply my own artsy sensibility. Also? I smelled oregano yesterday and the heady perfume took me straight back to your front yard shade garden. So nice.

Happy gardening friends! If you were on the Members’ Tour, I would be so happy if you shared your thoughts on Freddie’s garden! What made an impression on you? Are you planning to incorporate any ideas at home?

If not, but you have questions, add them in comments. I could talk gardens all day long and into the night.

“Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens
reflect the kind of care they get.”
~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
XOXOXO

people and a vision

September 13, 2015

Yesterday afternoon Handsome and I spent some time working at the church. It was just the two of us, and we had a short list of tasks we wanted to accomplish. But something unexpected happened that caused me to take a long, hard look at my own heart. I walked away feeling very different. Changed. Which is what church is supposed to do for us, right? Even if it’s just a work day?

Let me briefly set the stage by explaining that for us in this season of life, “church” is an elusive concept. It probably doesn’t resemble anything you normally think of when you hear the word. Just being at the building can produce emotions ranging from joy to anger, wistful melancholy, frustration, loneliness, bitterness, and then, either out of the blue or with some effort, bubbling hope. Overwhelming excitement for the future. Going to church is far from a mechanical weekend ritual for us right now. And I suppose that’s a good thing. God is speaking to us in unprecedented ways, almost randomly, with all the tradition and habit, all the human distraction, stripped away.

Okay.

The day was mild. Warmish-cool with abundant sunshine, wide open blue skies, and a ticklish breeze. As we unloaded borrowed wedding tables and began mowing and weed eating the lawns, I was in one of the bitter moments. I had to consciously push negative thoughts out of my mind, and then I remembered the lessons about not resisting so much as replacing, so I fished for images that would inspire me. Images like a north-facing flower bed overflowing with fall blooms, a freshly painted church kitchen fragrant with the meals we hope to provide soon, and music streaming through open doors. I tried really hard to conjure up an idea of how things could be for us here. I gave thanks for all the miracles that have been poured out after prayers were said here. Because this mental tactic always works, my attitude gradually improved, and my energy increased. Then we got a visitor.

The elderly, retired pastor from the church directly across the street walked over and struck up a conversation with Handsome. He was there on a Saturday with the statewide conference for his denomination. They are long time acquaintances, these two families, and it’s good for them to reconnect. But the gentleman doesn’t really know what has been happening in our family since we lost Judy, only that we obviously are not having Sunday morning services right now. This begs lots of obvious questions.

My husband navigated the conversation with grace, I could sense this every time I passed the pair of men, but I knew he was being economical with his words. Careful not to plumb too deep into painful waters. Instead of stopping to join the chat like I normally would do, I continued working. Sort of rebelliously, to make a point. As the friendly moment turned into five minutes, then ten, then thirty, I grew increasingly frustrated. Handsome was being held up which meant that our stay would be longer and longer, no matter how much I accomplished on my own. My reverie about a healthy, fruitful church community was being eroded by all the things I wanted to be doing at the farm, all the fun ways I craved to spend our weekend. I felt more and more resentful about this interruption to our Saturday, about the fact that no one else is here to help us, about how alone we feel most of the time. It was a pretty gross downward spiral. I am good at those.

And of course, this perfectly wonderful elderly gentleman did what lots of men this age do, he repeated himself extensively. Most of the conversation was just him saying the same things over and over again, not really listening to his audience at all. Handsome nodded affectionately a lot, offered bits of answers when the man asked the same question over and over. You know. But I was impatient. I cannot stand for people to waste my time.

Friends, if that sounds really ugly to you just reading it, know that as soon as I registered this thought in my own mind I felt sick to my stomach. I am really ashamed to have even allowed the thought, but I’m sharing it now because it’s a big part of the story. I guess it’s also my confession.

So as the time passed and I forced myself to reign in frustration and bitterness, control my emotions better, God allowed me to hear a very important slice of their conversation. I abandoned most of my bad attitude and walked up to the men at just the perfect moment.

The elderly retired pastor and my husband had been sharing ideas of the two communities’ hopes and dreams for the future. How might we serve the neighborhood? Are we moving into the future according to God’s will? Beautiful stuff. Stuff totally worth some time on Saturday afternoon, despite the younger man’s selfish, hurried wife. Then I heard it, the quotable thing.

The elderly pastor was joking about how a church needs people, willing workers who can sacrifice time as well as money. Very much to myself I had a series of snarky thoughts on this subject. All I said aloud was, “Yes, time is the hardest thing to sacrifice sometimes.” Handsome and I made eye contact. He gave me a half smile and weary eyes. He knew exactly what I meant and is normally even more greedy with his time than I was in this moment. But at church, this is his rodeo, his traumatic healing more than mine. I backed down.

Then we pan back to the elderly retired pastor:

“The Bible says without a vision the people are lost. And then I say with the people a vision is lost!”

He have a long round of generous, warm hearted laughter then we joined him. He cannot have known how much I needed the exact combination of his bold speech and loving tone. Humor delivers hard things so well, right?

It sank into me rapidly. Musically, almost. Is it that instant for you? Without the people a vision is lost. It’s not scripture; it’s just one man’s inspired moment or bit of humor or something. But it does point back to scripture. Back to the New Testament lessons about the church being the hands and the feet of Christ. Willing workers giving of ourselves to act out His love on earth. And if our current situation “at church,” air quotes because it’s such an elusive concept right now, isn’t an example of how much we need this, I just don’t know what is. We have so many hopes and dreams for how things could be, how much help we could provide, but how will we do it?

The end of yesterday’s story is happy. We traded so many loving words with the man, this old friend of Handsome’s family, and reaffirmed our intention to both stay in touch and help each other along the way. Handsome finished his jobs and I finished mine, then we loaded up to leave right on time. Despite the very inconvenient interruption to my very selfish Saturday, it’s as if no extra time had passed. That’s how God works sometimes. He can literally stretch the moments and fill them with exactly what you need.

As for the question of how will we do it? The answer is: One work day at a time, with consistent obedience and more humility. If the vision is sound, the right people will cross our path. Or we will do it alone.

Maybe instead of focusing on who is no longer here, I need to acknowledge that we are being called here still. We count. We can do hard things, worthwhile things, and maybe without us a vision will be lost. Maybe that? Or maybe, keep the vision and the people will come. Maybe that?

Now I sound like The Field of Dreams. Sorry friends. haha But thank you for listening. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings to sort out. Thanks for joining us here and sending goodness and love! I am amazed at how God walks us through these seasons of life.

“She will hold his hand and tell him
God is proud of him for being a good boy on his birthday,
and that will make the world feel right side up again.”
~Mitch Albom,
The Five People You Meet in Heaven
XOXOXOXO

two decades

September 6, 2015

Today she turns twenty. My doe eyed baby girl, the artist and music connoisseur, the horse lover, the speaker of hard things, the innocent who has learned to heal herself and gather her own magic. An unbelievable pair of decades has passed since I first held her, though I had seen her face before that in my dreams.

She has grown from a tiny, grasping little girl who hated to be separated from me into a confident young woman ready and excited to explore the world in ever widening adventures.

I miss holding her in my lap! xoxo — I sure miss holding her in my lap! xoxo

Last year at this time we had just begun our reunion. A deep, much needed healing started just as she turned nineteen, and the months that followed brought one surprise after another, plus such an outpouring of love and grace. I wrote for her 19 wishes for that birthday, and looking back I am amazed to see how many of those wishes, prayers really, have already been answered and started to come to fruition. Her life is showing the fruits of faith and love in beautiful, mysterious ways. For this we are so thankful.

This past year she has learned a lot about herself, I think, and about work and life and money, stuff both practical and eternal. She has learned more about people, human nature, romance, and lasting family bonds. She struck out and spent some time working in the mountains, her own special version of paradise, and I was so lucky to go visit her there for five amazing, unforgettable days. Seeing her eyes light up and watching her leap and bound through the ancient boulders and wild sage… It made my heart deeply, wildly happy.

That collection of moments with her in the mountains held the dual charm of bonding us more tightly and helping me let go a little bit, for her sake. I’ll write more soon about what things I have learned as a mother over the course of this year of explosive growth. But today is her day.

This year, Jocelyn, I continue to pray those same nineteen wishes over your life, plus one very special unspoken hope. I expect to see things unfold for you more and more. God is moving on your behalf in so many ways, seen and unseen, and life is full of surprises. We are so proud of you, of your heart, of what you have faced and what you have accomplished. So happy for your strong internal compass and instincts. So thankful for your love.

Life is beautiful, just like you are, and this is only the beginning.

Happy Birthday, Sweet Pea
XOXOXOXO

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