Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Milestone, Miracles, and a Goodbye.

   Today was my sweet Momma’s birthday. Her double-nickel birthday, to be exact. Handsome and I joined her and my Dad, my baby brother, our nephew and his friend for dinner in the City. We ate a Tex-Mex feast on a very sunny balcony. So very sunny. Really hot. Like lava. The sun set in a curvy line behind the biggest skyscraper downtown. My nephew was confused.

Feliz Cumpleanos! 

   We had the best time. We always do, really. I love my family so much, and I know I take them for granted. I feel nauseous sometimes to realize how many days have passed since I’ve seen them, or weeks. Or months in some cases.

   Tonight we teased my Dad about how many wounds and scars he has on his arms and legs at the moment. To say he is accident prone isn’t quite right; it’s more fair to say that he has an abject disregard for his personal well being and never ever stops working. Physical work.

   My nephew quipped, “Grandpa’s not really a handyman; he must be in Fight Club.” In addition to his numerous bumps and bruises, this would explain why Dad’s not much of a talker. No worries, because the rest of us love to talk. Love it.

********************

   Earlier today, before this heat and this laughter,  Handsome and I attended a funeral. A friend of ours buried his mother. She was older than mine, but not that much. She seemed too young to be gone, except that she had endured a long, difficult illness and her release was a blessing.

   Hearing our friend’s grief to say goodbye to his Mom was deeply moving. It softened my heart in unexpected ways; and it certainly made the hours I spent with my own Momma tonight extra sweet.

   He and his brother both read beautiful poems they each had written to honor their Mom, and the whole room held our breath together then sobbed gently.

Me with Momma on Mother’s Day last year.
She taught me to love gardens and gardening.
She has a carefree, affectionate gardening style, 
and this is one corner of her paradise in Oklahoma City.
Those blue and purple flowers behind us? Larkspur.
She cut them all and brought them to our farm in large buckets 
early the morning of the wedding we hosted last May.
That’s how she is.

   I also exchanged some loving notes with my first born today. I cannot overstate what a miracle this is, this recent trend between us. And soon I want to describe the journey from despair to joy in full, but not tonight.

   That’s all I really have to say. Just that life is full of reminders to love more deeply and appreciate each other more fully. I received my reminders today.

   Happy Birthday Momma, I love you so much!!

   And friends, please say some prayers for the peace and comfort of our friends Trent and Carrie and their family. Thank you!

Love your people.
Anticipate Miracles.
xoxoxoxo

 

I Love Having a Husband Who…

…is dressed up all handsome and sharp for church and still spontaneously walks through damp grass to check on my turtle, give him extra water, and pull his terrarium to the shade.

…is running a fever and battling a ferocious headache yet still musters the strength to work half a day chainsawing fallen trees, repairing buffalo fence, and patching a chicken coop after storms.

…would not hurt his Dad’s feelings for all the Baskin Robbins peanut-butter ice cream in the world.

…prizes truth over tradition and joy over drama.

…has a way of making every one of his employees feel like a valued team member… maximized, appreciated, supported, and propelled into more than any lesser leader would dare dream.

…brags openly about my home-cookin’ but when we are alone on the weekend begs me to get take out so I am not away from him for hours in the kitchen. He would rather cuddle when possible. Unless the menu is Alfredo pizza or fish tacos. The cuddlin’ can wait just a little while.

…can make me laugh so hard when I feel like crying.

…hates to read books but supports my feverish bibliophilia and also makes generous space in our life for Dinner Club With a Reading Problem.

…has little personal interest in small scale gardening (his family is more into farming) but will happily spend an entire weekend building me fences, raised beds, trellises, canopies, and anything else I am foolish enough to mention off-handedly.

…and can grow an indoor plant like nobody’s business.

…can shift smoothly from consummate professional to affectionate husband then to strong, capable animal tender and back to affectionate husband again. In a blink, no problem.

…collects childhood toys shamelessly.

…and also freely admits to having an insatiable appetite for buying and selling interesting cars.

…teaches our adult Sunday school class, infusing it with historical scope, reasonable thinking, and intelligence.

…begs me to write a book, just a fun story, so we can get rich and retire at the beach. The fact that he believes I can do it is terrifying but wonderful.

…claims to be an antisocial person but loves our friends as much as I do and is actually the life of every party we throw.

…happily encourages me to open the farm for visitors… for an hour, for a night, for a week.

…knows every bird at the Lazy W by name and personality.

…loves our baby llama just like a first time Daddy. She loves him back, too. This all breaks my heart in unexpected ways.

…looks at me in ways that make me want to protect him from the world then holds me in ways that make me know I am protected forever.

…is the smartest, most ambitious and capable man I have ever met or heard of.

…endures my petty female jealousies.

…then flirts deliciously with women but never makes me fear for his loyalty.

…and then endures my petty punishments.

…and is ferociously protective of me if he thinks I am being flirted with.

   Mostly I am just so thankful to have this man love me. The longer I know him, the more we experience together and learn, and the better I see him for who he is in the context of this complicated world… the more I am in awe. Whether we are facing tornadoes and hail or the equally destructive storms of life and relationships, I know I am safe with him. I know that together we can accomplish pretty much anything and enjoy pretty much all the world has to offer.

   I love you, sir. So much. You deserve the best and a million dreams come true. Happy Monday.

Always, Now, and Forever.
xoxoxoxo

Senses Inventory, Friday Joy

   Happy Friday afternoon my beautiful friends! What a week. Yes, I say that a lot. But I always mean it.

   What. A. Week.

   What a month.

   What a year.

   What a life!

   As we tip-toe toward the quick little recess we call a weekend, I have exactly enough time and energy for a Senses Inventory…


My youngest daughter and I saw this at the OKC Arts Fest again last week.
Every year she and I contribute to this cool community art display,
nothing more than shreds of fabric tied to some PVC structures.
And this year I am bringing the inspiration home. 
The veggie garden arbor is getting dolled up!
All visitors this summer are invited to play!

See: A pair of cardinals dancing in the air above the bird feeder. Stacks of folded clean laundry in the living room. A mason jar filled with browned but still pretty clippings from the forest. A flat of newly purchased herbs and marigolds on the table next to me. My unfinished Don Quixote. (Book club dinner is in two hours, yikes!) Shiny yellow ceramic dish shaped like cabbage leaves. Abundant, if cool, sunshine. Thick, soft green grass outside the kitchen door. One inviting chaise lounge and one shredded by a recent conflict with the buffalo.

Hear: Pacino grooming his papery feathers, blowing me parrot kisses, and clucking softly. The periodic click of the oven and hum of the refrigerator. Pickup truck driving past the farm. Wind. So much wind.

Smell: Clean laundry, pecan shortbread cookies, soapy water, coffee, roasting red grapes, seven different fresh herbs and their damp soil (I love that fragrance!), and my own perfume. Calvin Klein One today.

Touch: This beloved keyboard. My smooth cotton apron. A pair of wire-rimmed sunglasses that keep getting tangled up in my hair.

Taste: Perfect coffee. Really, really perfect coffee. The kind made with a French Press and hot cream. So good. Also, traces of olive oil, sea salt, and rosemary, plus toasted pecans and butter shortbread, all from sampling two recipes as I cooked this afternoon. Lipstick.

Think: About my daughters. Their hearts, their memories, their futures. About my parents. About the balance between living life and earning a living. About self worth and how complicated and fluctuating that concept is for me. About how I need about a month of nothing else to do so I can catch up on all of the incredible writers close to me.

Feel: Inspired. Calm. Stronger than I did this time a year ago, that’s for sure. Itching to run again. Excited for our book club dinner tonight, but also sad because we have recently lost members. Lucky. I feel so dang lucky in life.

The raised beds are growing our earliest crops like magic!!
Even the tropicals are faring well in this super weird May weather.

   What’s up with you? Was your work week overall pretty amazing? Do you have beauty surrounding you and love inspiring you? Do you have thoughts worth thinking rattling around in your head?

   Life isn’t perfect, but it certainly is full of wonder and grace. Be sure to feed that wolf, the good one, as the Native American legend goes, not the evil one.

Happy Weekending Everyone!
Thank you so much for stopping in at the digital Lazy W.
xoxoxoxo

 

 

How Ducks Got Me Going Today

   Early this morning during Hot Tub Summit, Handsome and I watched with great delight as our three resident Mud Ducks circled low over the farm. They have been visiting the pond tentatively for a few weeks now, staying longer and longer every day. Auditioning us, it would seem, for their winter abode. Finally, they seem to not mind the raucous geese so much, and fortunately the llama has not yet learned that he can swim; so on the water, at least, the ducks are safe.

   They flew with their wings almost overlapping, so perfectly synchronized that they seemed almost to be one bird. Another thing we noticed is that they began their early morning flight long before dawn. The sun was still an hour below the eastern horizon, and our rain-promising clouds were still obscuring what remained of the waning moon. The big forest Owl was still up, too, still sending out his hunger and power into the damp morning.

   All this darkness, all this fog and mist and danger, and still they danced playfully.

   Wishing you all the courage and inspiration you need to get through your day today! Take pleasure in whatever you do. Face your fears. Delight in your blessings. Live fully despite whatever darkness is there. Someone is probably watching who needs your example.

“Love recognizes no barriers. 
It jumps, hurdles, leaps fences, penetrate walls 
to arrive at its destination full of hope.”
~Maya Angelou
xoxoxoxo

My Angels This Week

Family fun.
Holiday preparations and twinkling lights and hilarious adventures.
Romance.

Difficult times.
Fear.
Fighting.
Pain.
Tears.
Sleeplessness.

Laughter.
Work.
Sleep.
Illness.

Tragedy.
Shock.
Denial.
Deepening sadness.
Extreme sensitivity to everything. EVERYTHING.
Unrecognizable personalities.
Despair.

Reminders and truth.
Sense of purpose restored.

Fun excursions.
Distractions.
Words of encouragement from precious people.
Redemption of love and support.
Fresh air. In every possible way.

   Life this past week or so has been the most roller coaster-ish, melting pot-ish, concentrated human experience-ish as ever I think we have experienced here at the Lazy W. I have to acknowledge that much of our atmosphere has been sort of a manifestation of others’ pains, though, and our blessings are still innumerable. Mostly, we are so thankful to be still standing, still whole, still loved and loving at maximum capacity. Handsome and I are keenly aware of the very real loss nearby us, both around the nation and in our families, and so we have a hard time today complaining about anything.

For Handsome, Margi, Marci, and Halee

   I have a few precious friends who have made this week extraordinarily beautiful despite the dark hours. You are angels to me, even though it is not snowing here in Oklahoma quite yet. I love each of you so very much, and I hope you all find the angels you need in tough times, just like I have found you this week.

   Wishing everyone within earshot of this digital Lazy W a very happy, peaceful week preparing for Christmas. Enjoy the process. Be joyful. Water your roots deeply, focusing on love, not money. Treasure each other and make memories.

   Gotta go you guys. I have cookies to bake, sewing to finish, gifts to wrap, and a bed to make for a romantic mid week rendezvous… Merry Christmas!

“We are each of us angels with only one wing
and we can only fly by embracing one another.”
~Luciano de Crescenzo
xoxoxoxo