Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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friday 5 at the farm: some great internet finds

Hello, happy Friday! TGIF!! What a week it’s been here. It’s been one of those solid, smooth running, list-conquering weeks, fairly unremarkable but very satisfying, you know? And all the spaces in between have been happily filled with Love and prayer and strong running and great food. Also, we finally found a few comedies to watch, so hallelujah for that!

The “big stuff” in life, the traumas and temporarily unanswered questions, are either staying the same or being worked on by God in the unseen background, however you choose to see things. I think you know where I stand with that. He is so generous and steadfast, so faithful with His promises. Trusting Him is the only way, really, that we get any sleep. And it’s only by His assurances and grace that we can move through our daily lives while waiting for answers about our Girl.

Thank you, by the way, for your continued prayers and love notes.

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Anyway. It’s Friday!! We have almost made it through another incredible work week, and before the weekend kicks up I thought I’d share a handful of internet treasures with you guys, Friday 5 style. Please feel free to send me links to excellent articles or ideas you’ve found, too! I love good brain and body and soul stuff. 

Sandy the Reluctant Entertainer shares gorgeous, approachable recipes all the time, and they always accompany some much-needed life advice. So I hope you follow her somewhere for your own sake. But this recipe for stuffed poblano peppers jumped out at me thanks to my current craving for hot and spicy food, and her story about family bonds and seizing the moment is well received. Also! Poblano pepper seeds are on my garden ordering list. It’s going to be a fun food growing year at the farm!

I found this article on marriage over at Ann Voskamp’s blog. It’s a guest post by Barbara Rainey, and it is beautiful. I hope you give it a few minutes of your day. Handsome and I are big believers in the small stuff. 

When the small stuff of marriage isn’t diligently attended to, then big-stuff crises provide plenty of reasons to quit an already muddy marriage. ~Barbara Rainey

Some Very Necessary Writing Quotes by Marisa Mohi. I am pretty crazy about Marisa for lots of reasons, not the least of which is her prolificity. How she manages to write thorough and engaging blog posts on top of a full-time job and the needs of a well attached Rosie Puppins is kind of amazing to me. I love her posts. This one is like a delicious appetizer menu for people who need to prime the writing pump. (Raises hand in shame…)

What Journaling Actually Does to Your Brain, at mindbodygreen. Yes. How lovely that a scientific study is provided. I recently revamped my pen-and-paper gratitude and journal practice and am loving it. Whether it has made me more altruistic, I don’t know; but I do feel calmer and more peaceful toward people and situations that normally wind me up pretty hard. If mindfulness and open-heartedness are feelings you crave in the new year, then journaling could be an excellent start.

Are you following Adriene? Are you doing her TRUE yoga series? It is, no surprise at all, luscious!! Luscious in every way. My body feels incredibly loose and strong, spacious, which makes running even more fun. And every day she offers these beautiful little pep talks that are just soothing. Each session has a theme word, and often they line right up with my private journal focus and Bible devotion for that day. Isn’t that cool? This daily yoga practice has really helped slow down the January rush. I feel like I am squeezing more good stuff, more nutrients, out of each day, and I plan to keep at it after this series ends. If you’re looking for some regular doses of yoga, consider this one. Start it anytime.

We tried this homemade bread recipe to make little scooped-out bread bowls for serving homemade broccoli-cheese soup. Handsome and I both loved it! It had an almost old sourdough flavor, was easy to make with basic pantry ingredients, and baked up very fragrantly. I love any recipe that makes the house feel cozy like that. The bread finishes crusty and hollow-sounding with a soft, fluffy middle, perfect for scooping out. (I twice-baked the scooped bits with olive oil for really great croutons.) We’ll keep this on our regular menu rotation, at least during the cool months.

Pacino and Klaus enduring our weird Thursday afternoon sense of humor.

Okay, that was a list of six, ha! Bonus points, ok, because that bread bowl recipe is not to be skipped. Make it and be happy!

Happiest of Fridays to you, friends! Feed yourselves well, nourish each other, do everything you can do, and then trust God. It’s going to be okay.

“How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.”
~Henry David Thoreau
XOXOXOXO

thriving (not just surviving) all winter

Oklahoma is deep in the throes of another cold, dry winter. Lots of places have it much worse, and ours might not last much longer, but for now? For now we are freezing our southern-midwestern toes off, okay?

Most of us stumble around, bundled up in layers, sipping hot drinks, muttering to each other in low, vibrating voices the details of our coldness. Checking for weather updates is already a secondary hobby for most Okies; in wintertime, it’s all about wind chill and how close we are to freezing.

We become obsessed with our suffering.

And some of us are coping better than others. 

Klaus going for a stick fetch on our frozen pond. He seeks fun no matter the weather!

I found this article on Bon Appetit’s new “Healthyish” website and loved all of their suggestions. They list nine strategies used by people in the coldest parts of the world, where the arctic air lingers much longer than a couple of months. The list includes tips for diet and exercise, skin care, and more. Lots of applicable wisdom. But in Oklahoma, outdoor recreation is a bit limited because we lack the mountain hikes and the snow silliness. And smoked fish is not a diet staple here, though I suppose it could be.

Anyway. What I’m saying is that winter here is unique. Here are some of the healthy rituals we have been cultivating at the W. Enjoy!

Seven Easy Strategies for Thriving all Winter Long:

  • “Eat More Plants, Do More Yoga!” This mantra has guided me since the holidays ended, and already I feel much better. My internal belly feels softer (in a good way) yet toned, my joints feel spacious and comfortable, I think my posture is improving, and my legs and feet are staying happy for running. Yes to a diet based mostly on plants, both raw and lightly cooked! Lots of soups and crazy salads and roasted things happening here. And yes to yoga every single day! If you need some direction there, allow me to suggest the “True” series by Adriene. It is luscious. She is so fun and smart. We love her. 
Klaus is an excellent yoga partner.
Add olive oil and roasted veggies to literally everything.
Perfect sugar-free oats! One chopped apple, a few tablespoons of chopped nuts, & cinnamon. Microwave it all together with milk.
I spiralized one yellow squash & chopped some mushrooms, sauteed all of that, and added a couple of eggs as it cooked. Easy & delicious!
  • Be Flexible but Stubborn About Exercise. I’m in marathon training right now, so running keeps me moving almost every day. But my treadmill finally gave up the ghost, so on days when the temps or windchill are well below freezing, I am happy to do other things to stay active. And occasionally some intense layering means Klaus and I can go outside for some raking and compost work in the garden, which is a wonderful way to catch some sunshine. Also, every day no matter the weather, yoga. It makes such a difference!

 

  • General TLC. Thicker body lotions, face oil plus moisturizer containing collagen, and vitamins including iron, D, and magnesium (thanks, Kellie!) have all been helping a lot. Also drinking chamomile tea at bedtime usually guarantees a deep sleep. Otherwise winter is a dry and weary time, wow.

 

  • Cozy Atmosphere. The hygge trend is a good one. It kind of speaks to my natural leanings, anyway. Loading up the house with live plants, dozens of strands of white twinkle lights, throw pillows, and extra thick blankets… kind of a no-brainer. We aren’t really candle people anymore, but I have been using essential oils like cinnamon and orange plus one called “Ananda” for cozy, mildly sweet fragrance. And staying on top of dusting and mopping is a must since we are indoors so much more.

 

  • Read and Write. Actual books and actual pen and paper are slowing me down in wonderful ways. I’ve resurrected a journal and daily gratitude practice and am making my way through a Bible devotional, plus trying to stay focused on good novels even when the seed catalogs pull my attention, ha!
My paperwhites are all “Can’t stop, won’t stop!”
  • Games! We have been breaking out the Yahtzee, Uno, Phase 10, and regular playing cards in the evenings. Like old people, sure. But like happy old people who are glad to have a warm home with games to play and television to watch in the background. Gradually I’ve been setting aside my electronics, too, and it is really nice. Speaking of television, are we the only people craving more comedies this season? Maybe because life is pretty dramatic on its own, but we need things to make us LOL. 

 

  • Carpe Diem. We watch those weather details (things change hourly) and get outside in the sun every single chance we get. It’s good, even when it’s cold. And when it’s truly unsafe, then we take the opportunity to really hunker down indoors and fully enjoy the hibernation. Before long we’ll be outside all day and late into the evening. Enjoy whatever details make today special!
In Estes Park last November, before life changed in so many ways. We stayed in a cabin that opened to the river, rushing through snow and ice. Gorgeous!

Truly the underlying theme here is attitude, right? And focus? As always, just frame your circumstances in a way that aims you in the direction you want to go. Nourish each other. Stay cozy inside and out. And remember that winter is only a season. Before long we will be watching green sprout everywhere again, wondering how we could ever give up hope.

“If winter comes, can spring be far behind?”
~Percy Bysshe Shelley
XOXOXOXO

P.S. please continue praying for our Girl.
God is listening. Miracles are happening.
We remain grateful and hopeful,
but we all still need prayer.
Thank you, friends!
xoxoxoxo

post holiday thoughts gumbo

After so many days and weeks filled to bursting with activity, work, play, some bitter tears, and still more activity, my mind is swimming with loose trains of thought. Some things are solid. But those are solid enough to wait. The less solid thoughts need somewhere to go. I hope you’ll indulge me a while so I can sort of gather them into a boiling pot. Maybe if they comingle and simmer you add your own thoughts, we will end up with a gumbo of good stuff and the final product will be delicious.

Oprah’s Super Soul Sundays podcast has become my favorite. This is a surprise to me because I have never liked her, generally speaking. Just because the talk show thing has never been my thing. But this is different. This production offers tons of reliably good, nourishing material. One recently that I loved? An interview with former President Jimmy Carter. I loved hearing him talk about space in marriage, daily habits, and the Iran hostages. Weird combo maybe, but he ties it all together. Plus that well worn, gentlemanly southern drawl, ok? So nice.

Have you ever seen the acronym expression of EGO, meaning, “Edging God out?” Yikes.

I have for years thought that life is made worse by over-romanticizing relationships. Which is ironic, because the intention behind romancing stuff is to bring out the beauty, enhance it, press the details more deeply into our skin, right? Shouldn’t that improve life? But placing too much importance on certain relationships kind of sets us up for disappointment, that whole “appreciation trumps expectations” thing.

Maybe especially with parent-child bonds? because (as a better writer than me recently pointed out) claiming your child as yours is incredibly self-centered. Disturbingly ego-driven. And yet isn’t it’s part of our nature, the parenting paradigm? This is a lot of ground to cover, friends. Too much for today, but I welcome your thoughts.

I cannot get enough Christmas lights this year. And happily, our surrounding neighborhoods and parks have obliged. My husband did a great job festooning our own spot of paradise, too. It’s a modern luxury I won’t soon abandon.

I want to do a true study on the occurrence of eating disorders and body image issues among two groups: dancers and runners. I have noticed a disparity, but it’s so far anecdotal and I wonder if (as a runner) my opinion is slanted. Thoughts? Insight?

Made from scratch soft pretzels are incredibly easy and supremely delicious. Pillowy, warm, salty, chewy, satisfying. Amazing. Using this recipe, I am a homemade-soft-pretzel convert. No more waiting for that once a year $8 movie theater splurge! Of course, now I have to figure out the concession stand’s weird runny cheese sauce, but until then some yellow mustard will keep me happy.

Two brand new seed catalogs have arrived at the farm, and my youngest daughter has asked for both cooking and edible gardening lessons this year, so you can safely assume that my imagination is in overdrive. On that note, I am pretty happy about how last year’s compost system is working. So well, you guys. I’m looking forward to having time in January to continue filling, rotating, and spreading the fertile stuff.

Marathon training has started! I barely ran at all in November, for good reasons; and December has been low mileage (128 so far) but consistent. For the next 18 weeks, I’ll be following the Hansons’ Advanced Marathon Plan, aiming for the OKC full in late April. Very exciting! My local running friends have been a huge support and are full of wisdom, most of them Boston qualifiers. This past year I’ve changed my approach to running in lots of ways, so if that’s interesting to you, please check in here on Mondays starting mid-January. Marathon Monday returns!

I crave salad every day, probably my body’s way of saying, “Enough chocolate-toffee-shortbread, ma’am,” but it’s so cold in Oklahoma. Can you microwave salad? Maybe I should make more soup.

Ann Voskamp can probably do no wrong in my eyes, which clearly means I am on the verge of putting her on a pedestal, which clearly means I should take a breather before reading another of her books. Right? Just kidding. I already started it. A generous gift from a wonderful local writer. I think she wants to be anonymous. Maybe she doesn’t want to be known as my Voskamp enabler.

Enabling is not funny, though. We have had some excruciating decisions laid before us this year. This month. Just yesterday, in fact. It’s ongoing and very real. But prayer keeps up afloat even when we are at our weakest, emboldened on good days, clear-headed and hopeful.

“Welcome to Costo, I love you.” haha We don’t even have Costo in Oklahoma, but this is super funny. We do have Aldi.

Roasted veggies! Duh. When it’s too cold for salad and soup takes too long. Roasted veggies.

And this tea:

If you have 2 hours to snuggle up and feed your brain and imagination, I highly recommend the Netflix documentary called Cuba and the Cameraman. This is a cultural and anthropological indulgence, not a political statement. Pinky promise. Then, if you want to binge watch something beefier, please consider the related Netflix series on the revolutionary history of Cuba, which reaches all the way back to when European explorers “settled” there. Fascinating! Maybe a touch political.

My friend Kellie knitted me the thickest, most luxurious grey infinity scarf. I am smitten and get so many compliments on it. Thank you, Kellie!! Also, she recently agreed to a carrot cake cookoff. I’ll keep you posted. I hope to be in the mood for sweets again by February or March, haha.

Did you have a magical and peaceful Christmas weekend? I sure hope so. Christmas is meant to be magical and peaceful and more. It’s okay to enjoy all of it, every big and little thing.

We thank you for your love and prayers. I am trying to figure out what’s wrong with my blog dashboard, keeping me from responding to comments. But every single word you send is deeply appreciated. Truly.

“There are two types of beings in this Universe.
Those who dance, and those who do not.”
~Guardians of the Galaxy
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

 

 

counting it all joy

If during this recent life chapter, the message I have most received is “Witness Me,” then the message my husband has most received is “Count it All Joy.” He started noticing a stream of such reminders over a week ago, and although that divine conversation has been his and it’s really his story to tell, I want to share some thoughts with you guys. It’s almost Christmas, after all, a season for seeking and sharing both comfort and joy.

Joy on bright days and joy on dark days.

Joy when it’s easy to be joyful and joy when it takes all of your strength and concentration.

Joy when it’s natural and joy when it’s a deliberate choice.

Chalk stuff up to joy, even the pain.

Count all the joys. Number them. Make an inventory of joys, big and small.

And when your joy falters, recharge it. Re-joy yourself. Rejoice. 

Of course, I recall the Joy Dare by Ann Voskamp in One Thousand Gifts. That act of listing all the things you can articulate that bring you joy until you reach a thousand. I did that a few years and filled several notebooks (way more than 1,000 entries) with handwritten phrases and sentences. The activity has a way of building momentum, sparking a gentle heat at first then flames and then a roaring fire. Lots of good, warm power.

Speaking of good writing by Voskamp, I have been sneaking downstairs early most mornings to read in the quiet her book of Advent devotionals titled The Greatest Gift. Every bit of it is just wonderful, but look at this, from the December 19th pages:

Struggling and rejoicing are not two chronological steps, one following the other, but two concurrent movements, one fluid with the other. As the cold can move you deeper toward the fire, struggling can move you deeper toward God, who warms you with joy. Struggling can deepen joy.

Isn’t that beautiful? Struggling can deepen joy. And the whole notion that the two are (or can be) concurrent… It releases my guilt for having struggled in the first place.

Just a few paragraphs later, she writes:

The secret of joy is always a matter of focus: a resolute focusing on the Father, not on the fears. All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends.

Oh man, you guys. All fear is but the notion that God’s love ends. It never ends, we know that. So nothing in life is outside of His reach. I can’t help but think of The Shack and that grieving dad’s need for the Father’s comfort, and how endless that Love proved to be. And I can’t help but notice the tweak in language here, from my own anthems about “positive thinking,” etcetera… I talk and write a lot about choosing joy and deliberately focusing on the positives in life, which is fine, but this heats it up a bit. This reminds me that there is more to it than just being positive; there is the Father, always and forever. Maybe I meant that in my heart all along, but maybe I should have been saying so too.

We can either count our problems or count our joys. We can let ourselves feel overwhelmed by either, too. I’d much rather be overwhelmed by joy. It gives me the strength to deal with real problems, and it helps the phantom worries disappear.

Fear is always this wild flee ahead.

Another quote from the same Advent devotional. This wild flee ahead. Like imaginations that have run wild. That ugly broken record of what ifs. My husband’s grandmother once said of a worried family member, “She’s just borrowing grief from the future.” As if grieving ahead of time will somehow lessen the pain? It doesn’t.

Handsome has taken some hard-earned time off from the Commish, just in time for Christmas. With our family’s recent trauma, we could easily have surrendered to heartbreak and neglected all the joy available to us. But that message reverberates: Count it all Joy. So we give each other a pep talk now and then, and we cry sometimes, but day to day we are clinging to healthy routines. Looking for the good stuff, which by the way is abundant. We first tiptoed into Christmas; now we have relaxed and sunk in.

((can you spot Tigger on the tree?))
xoxoxo

Counting it all joy and surrendering, instead of to heartbreak, to mercy and Love and all the miracle-working power that Christmas actually, truly, always brings, when we allow it.

Merry Christmas weekend, friends! I will check in again soon. I really want to talk more about how to actively count the hard stuff as joy. Until then, everyone from the Lazy W wishes you lots of warmth and Love, some surprises big enough to be called miracles, and ample time to count your joys. It matters.

“The answer to deep anxiety
is the deep adoration of God.”
~Ann Voskamp
XOXOXOXO

 

 

tiptoeing into christmas, and asking for your prayers

If I continue waiting to write until life is back to normal and my heart is steady, I am unlikely to ever form a complete sentence again. So here we go.

But the thing is, really, my heart is plenty steady. Despite the massive unknowns and the very real and fresh grief in our family, I am so thankful to be physically home and to be held in every way by God. There is so much more to say. I promise to not be vague forever.

Here is my baby, a woman already, clipping wild sage for me to bring back home. I miss her so much, and yet I feel her right here against my arm and can smell her too. xoxo

Let’s nibble at the day to day things for a bit.

Handsome and I have been tiptoeing into Christmas and it feels nice. It’s important, especially when at first you don’t feel like doing it, you know? I guess it’s all about discerning rituals and traditions apart from cultural obligations. Do what feels good and right. Let it all serve you and your family, rather than become your master.

Immediately after a bizarre and beautiful Thanksgiving with family, we put up our tree, festooned the outside of the house with lights and our Snoopy garden inflatable, and started adding a little more every other day or so. Paperwhite bulbs are inching their way skyward, a sure sign of winter here. A variety of Christmas music plays almost constantly (really loving Sia’s album). More wrapped gifts appear downstairs every day. Neither of us will claim responsibility.

We have accepted more invitations to socialize than I have felt “up to” accepting; and after almost declining each one, every single time I come home so glad. So happy for the loving energy we share with friends and strangers, so refreshed to be away from the farm for a few hours, just to remember that life and the world are big and expansive. As much as I love it here, I always love it even more when we drive home.

I have to mention our dear friends Mickey and Kellie. We’ve all become acquainted sort of by chance (if you still, after all the ways life happens, believe in chance). Now they are part of our fabric, plain and simple. They pray for us and with us. They open their hearts and offer love and support, advice when needed. They feed us both incredible meals and much-needed Truth. If our friendship is an accident, then it ranks among the best in life. A funny thing is that we have precious few photos together (except for Halloween!) because even a small event tends to grow into a leisurely five-hour conversation, all four of us talking and listening and laughing. You know that popular graphic floating around, “Do more of what makes you forget your phone,” well that’s time with Mickey and Kellie. Straight up. So, not many photos. Ha!

We have joined in with the Jedi OKC folks twice recently. Once to dress up for the District Attorney’s Christmas party for foster kids in the OKC area. This is an incredible tradition. Then again for a small town Christmas parade in Blanchard. The weather was merciful and the crowds were so happy and sweet. I am always proud to be with Batman, even if he is embarrassed that when I throw candy I tend to peg kids right in the face.

 

Party on (Bruce) Wayne, party on Darth! xoxo

The Apartment has become Santa’s workshop in new ways this year. Besides sewing (I’m having lots of fun making gifts this year, fun creative surprises, not so much selling aprons right now) the Apartment is a gathering spot. Klaus plays with his myriad toys while I sew or wrap and Handsome draws and paints. Adding a television to this big upstairs room means we can watch Christmas movies as we dabble. It’s all lots of fun, and I hope it becomes a habit that stretches beyond December.

Not pictured is the vacuum sweeper which Klaus is battling, causing him to appear blurry. He regards the Apartment as his playroom. He’s not wrong. xoxo

From a practical standpoint, it’s nice having all of our explosive creativity located in one big, spacious room. It’s decorated and cheerful here but still somewhat “contained,” haha, so the rest of the house stays neat day to day.

Running has been a joy, not a chore at all. Most mornings, right after Handsome leaves for the Commish, I make the bed and wipe down the kitchen, feed the animals, start a load of laundry, and then lace up. Six to eleven miles per day had been my sweet spot, but I am running without a plan this month. Just enough to feel good day to day and keep my heart beating evenly. I have done lots of crying in these solitary hours, and it’s a very good thing. Better runners and more prolific writers than me have already expressed how the physical act of running and breathing is like a mediation, and I will add to that: The privacy of prayer when you are outdoors surrounded by nature is just going to church, plain and simple.

Nice and slow and easy. Refreshing. On this day I remember having energy to spare but my heart was drawn back home. Lots of Christmas things happening!

Speaking of running! Yesterday evening we drove to OKC to join a few dozen local runners for dinner at Hideaway Pizza. Two of my friends plus more have some experience with the Hanson brothers’ marathon training method and have offered their mentorship to those of us who are new to it. I’ve read the book and have already become fascinated by the science, so listening to real life success stories just got my blood pumping for real. I will keep you guys posted on this, whether you want me to or not, ha! Marathon training starts on Christmas week.

Jeff and Robin are two people who have my admiration for many reasons, even outside of their incredible marathon journeys. They are buoyant, joyful, strong, and so loving and prayerful in genuine ways. (But yes for sure I stalk them both on social media for running inspiration!)

Our kitchen’s abundant baking drawer has been restocked now, minus pecans, almonds, and walnuts. Exactly when those items tripled in price I don’t know, but if you have an affordable local spot to suggest I’m all ears!

The Lazy W baking list is long and happy this month. Today a small stack of blank pizza boxes should arrive, meant for packing the treats as gifts. Very excited about this. Hopefully, I’ll soon be joined by a special sous chef or two.

Music is helping me a lot lately. Traditional hymns like “O Little Town of Bethlehem,” especially this line…

The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in Thee tonight.

Also Sia’s album. One song in particular is Snowflake. She croons…

There’s noone like you so I’m gonna hide you my sweet.
Keep you till winter when you won’t be needing me.
Snowflake don’t forget us…
If I were a betting man I’d bet a million of you.
There’s no way around this, the only way now is through.

Friends, life is good and beautiful. Love is as powerful as ever. Prayer works.

I am here to celebrate the little victories and many pleasures afforded us, despite our mistakes and despite the fears looming. But I am also here asking for your prayers. Our beautiful girl is in trouble. We love her so much, it is excruciating, and no matter how busy we stay, she is at the forefront of our minds every minute of every day. She is far away but always in our hearts, often in my dreams, in the background of every conversation, every project.

God has taken so much out of our hands, we have no control right now. But He does. And we believe that He is drawing us in and holding us tight, guiding our beliefs and saying “Witness Me,” watch what He will do for us, for her.

That’s about all I can write this morning. It’s after six now and the roosters are crowing. Another full day is cracking open, and I feel God nearby. In Colorado, too.

Merry Christmassing, friends!
Talk again soon.
XOXOXOXO