Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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friday 5 at the farm: random photos

Happy Friday!! We made it to another weekend, friends. The farm has certainly been hoppin’ lately. Our oldest daughter Jocelyn has been spending more time here, warming up the place and pouring her music into every room. We spend some of our time at home, just breathing deeply and moving slowly, and some of it driving all over creation getting stuff done. I love every minute. So thankful.

We’ve got more seasonal autumn spice happening day by day. And the gardens are enjoying a lot less brutality from Mother Nature, although the chickens have tried to pick up the slack where the weather has left off, scratching and pecking lots of gorgeous plants almost to death. Dang chickens. But I do have new gardening gloves, so that’s nice.

Things are overall great! My husband is working too hard at the office, but it’s because he cares so much and has such high standards. And that will never change until I write a book or otherwise hit the jackpot and he can retire.

How about a quick Friday 5 at the Farm, just some random photos and captions? Okay.

 

f5f nieces

Last weekend my parents and little brother Phil and our sister Angela’s three gorgeous kiddos visited the farm for some autumn fun. Our oldest daughter also surprised us with a visit and brought a friend. I didn’t even know she was coming! She just walked in the front door saying “hellloooo!!!” Such a crazy fun surprise when your kids are old enough to do that. I love it. And my nephew’s friend Matthew came, too. We’ve watched those two boys grow up together and love them very much. The place was full of happy people. We ate soup my Mom brought (delicious) and snacked on chocolate-chip pumpkin bread (also yum) and tried pretending like it was autumn weather while really we were sweating under the shade trees. But painting pumpkins and building scarecrows helped a little. It was a wonderful day. I love my family so much.

f5f frogs

Our daughter was able to spend the night after all the family fun, and late in the evening after cleaning and resting and just as we were about to go to bed, I offhandedly mentioned that the tree frogs had recently had babies. She LOVES animals. I mean, LOVES ’em, even more than I do. Especially babies. Especially any difficult to love variety, like frogs. So of course her eyes lit up like diamonds and of course I relented and we took a clean bucket outside and went hunting for frogs. So, that was perfectly terrifying.

f5f calzone

One evening this week we had homemade calzones for dinner, and I promise to post the recipe soon.  All it is, really, is pizza dough with your fave fillings, folded over, brushed with egg wash, and baked. The best part of this story is that after she watched me make one batch of Alfredo sauce Jocelyn asked me to teach her, and with very little guidance she made a second batch perfectly. She’s a natural! In fact she’s been cooking here a lot lately, and it gives me so much peace and happiness knowing she can do this for herself as a young adult. In my opinion, cooking well and regularly is more than a novelty.

f5f seeds

As if the wealth of knowledge I am gaining at master gardener class isn’t enough, nearly every week someone brings live plants to share. And also, we have lately been collecting dried seeds from the campus gardens to bring home and fill our own little Edens. So exciting! Now when I walk past my herb bed or shrubby border, or when I see any garden for that matter, I ask myself What can be saved and propagated? And as for my growing knowledge base, right now I know just enough to be really dangerous.

f5f bat

Thursday midday as my girl and I were walking through downtown Oklahoma City, we happened to see this fuzzy little guy. It’s a bat. I know! A real live bat in the middle of downtown OKC, not Austin TX, and in broad daylight! Warming himself, it seems, on the concrete step. There was much begging and cajoling for me to bring it home to live at the farm (we already have lots of bats here, but this assurance meant nothing to the girl who wanted to “save” this one), and there might have even been a dare for me to touch it. Our crouching, squealing, photo-snapping spectacle drew the attention of a few passersby, and surely by now the Legend of the Downtown OKC Bat is thriving, at least locally. I’d like to add now that late last night I couldn’t sleep and watched a NOVA program about the current Ebola crisis. Apparently, bats are strong and common carriers, so… That is almost as terrifying as tree frogs suddenly having lots and lots of tiny babies.

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How has your week been? Give me a headline or a funny story from your corner of paradise. Or tell me your favorite meal this week. Better yet, assure me that looking closely at and maybe touching only the fur of a bat will not give me Ebola.

Happy Weekend friends!
XOXOXOXO

another midnight rendezvous & hope satisfied

She had already spent at least an hour with him at the end of the day, getting her jeans nice and dirty, snuggling and brushing and leading him. Riding him with barely any tack despite his boundary-pushing mood. She played with her horse happily, part woman and part little girl, while in the tree-rimmed valley my beloved Oklahoma sunset gave us a kaleidoscope show of reds, oranges, golds, and streaky, dramatic blues.

Once or twice the two of them stood motionless and stared into the forest for a long time, probably listening to deer and resting. But I imagined them staring into the future, wordlessly communicating like they do. I imagined her forming her beautiful new life right there with her thoughts. Strong and capable, graceful, dangerous, beautiful.

joc sunset dusty

Several hours later, after dinner was cleaned up and we had made a second batch of oatmeal lace cookies (try them with Nutella, friends) and after all three of us had watched a scary movie (it is the month of Halloween, after all), I stepped outside to inhale the stunning moonlight and say thanks for such an incredible day. She followed me and we stood on the warm concrete sidewalk together and just enjoyed the cool breeze. It was a particularly gorgeous night, cool and breathy, no violent wind. Everything was illuminated silver under the night sky. The geese were even mostly quiet. After a moment she giggled and said she was going to scare Dusty (her horse). She was wearing running shorts now, no longer the afternoon’s jeans, and she was barefoot. She scampered around me and down the sidewalk to reach the front gate of his pasture. I was the one to follow this time and called after her with a warning of stickers, but, you know, she’s okay Mom.

She passed through the gate and tiptoed downhill in the glowing wash of moonlight, navigating wildflowers and nocturnal cats. There was a moment when a bug surprised her and she did a fancy little dance and wiggle to free herself, and we both giggled endlessly. Then she called Dusty’s name in a stage whisper but didn’t find him yet. Continued in wide circles and gentle, searching steps under the silver sky. Big dark pools of tree shadow all around her.

Then she let out that trademark whistle she and Handsome have always used, that two-syllable song that starts low and ends high and never fails to catch or calm a horse. That got him, as she had to know it would. But he was uphill from her, behind her near the barn instead of down where she was looking. When she turned her womanly body to see him her pretty face lit up like a little girl and she ran fast on bare tip toes. Caution abandoned. He half-trotted down to see her, and they hugged. She wrapped her arms around his thick neck and he bent that thick neck across her back. There was much baby-talking and deep whinnying. So much mutual affection.

I just stood there soaking it up, amazed once again at how generously God answers prayer. And how suddenly. Amazed by how much sensation and emotion can be packaged into one moment.

Of course she could not resist another midnight ride. And given his obstinacy earlier that evening, she probably felt it her duty to tame him a bit. So for the second time in a week, right there under the brilliant moon, feet bare and heart light, she launched her tiny body up, belly first across his bare back. No reins, no help, nothing. He is so fat right now! And though he isn’t very tall she barely reached that high flat spot of his back before exploding into a fit of laughter. This triggered him to start walking toward me, and she hung there upside down (I don’t know how), all big smiles and playful kicking legs, trying to find purchase.

When she finally did gain the upright advantage, she just swung one smooth, lean leg over his rump and pivoted quickly so she was square and perfect, like that was the exact place she had always been meant to sit.

And of course it is.

He was calm for a moment, staring at me wide-eyed with those thick broomy lashes, maybe for permission or help, who knows? Then the silliness began again. They cuddled and kissed and nibbled at each other; she laid forward and wrapped herself like a baby monkey all around his ample middle; and the breeze braided together her dark hair with his black and white mane. I could barely hold back happy tears.

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Whatever you are praying for, whatever your hope, stay strong. I even think, the more hopeless a situation feels, the more important it is to continue in prayer and gratitude, in hope and seeking. Walls that keep you from seeing the blessing are sometimes weak, cruel illusions. And the walls that are very real can crumble in an instant. Make good use of your waiting season, but do not give up on any miracle. Okay? Love is terrifyingly powerful.

Here is where we’ve poured our hope
and where we’ll wait for it to grow.
~Emily Freeman
XOXOXOXO

thanks ebola scare

Monday was weird in mildly stressful ways, but we made it through. Late that night we shared some savory, creamy rice plus garlicky chicken thighs with the skin still on and even found each other laughing by sunset. Capped it all off with some perfectly good romance. Win.

monarch 1

Yesterday was flat out magical, from an early morning with Handsome, daytime field trip with the master-gardener group, and sweet evenings texts with my beautiful oldest daughter. I even had the energy to write a menu and grab all of our groceries for the next two weeks then get my inconsistent self in the gym. (By the time I got home it was too dark to run.) Handsome was gone on an overnight business trip, so the farm was quiet, perfect for draining away weirdness residue and siphoning extra energy. Tuesday’s magic stayed with me all last night and into today.

Today I had nowhere to go and no strict schedule to keep. So naturally my eyes popped open thirty minutes early. After coffee, chores, housework, and some lazy autumn decorating, I went outside for a four-mile run and got that old familiar craving for twice as much. Or three or four times, maybe. Everyone around me is training for a marathon or at least a half, and I regret not making a fall race a priority. I miss running being part of my weekly routine, and October first seems like a great time to hit refresh. Wish me luck.

When I’m not running and listening to all things Eminem or Shakira, I am listening to a condensed chapter of Sting music, and it’s so great. My favorite song right now is Desert Rose. Here is the best song lyric you will ever sing to yourself while trying to maintain hope and forward momentum:

Our dreams are tied to a horse that will never die.

The whole song is beautiful, really.

monarch 2

Then after some more stuff I needed to do today, the magic began to fade.

By necessity I performed two mundane, out of the ordinary, and fairly gross tasks: I unscrewed the metal guard and cleaned out the shower drain in our master bathroom, which had recently become… let’s just say… insulated with my long hair. Then I bleach-scrubbed the whole operation until my eyes were oozing something like watery milk. Then I dealt with a possum in the chicken coop who was eating barbarian-style our prettiest butterscotch-colored hen. In broad daylight! And by “dealt with” I mean I closed the beast up in the concrete house, shooed away the rest of the flock, and started trying to reach my husband, who was at that moment still in Dallas, Texas.

I feel like impressing on you the crucial detail that I performed both of these unpleasant farm duties while in full date-night make up (yes, folks, even eye shadow) and with my hair freshly washed, blown out, and curled and teased like nobody’s business. I was even wearing a clean, pretty sundress, because October or not, Oklahoma is in the 90’s again.

Chances are good that I lose some “hobby farmer” creds by not dealing with the predator more directly. (I may or may not have posted a rabies-related plea for help on Facebook before finding my own gun.) But on the other hand I did locate the appropriate screwdriver for the shower job then replaced it to the correct toolbox immediately. So there’s that. And let’s not forget date-night makeup on a Wednesday afternoon, okay? It counts. With our schedule lately, it counts for a lot.

Between book club titles, I am reading Dorothy Must Die which is difficult for me to groove. More up my alley is A Million Little Ways by Emily Freeman. Have you nibbled it yet? My gosh. I mean, you guys, please read this book. It’s short, beautifully written (along the flavor of Ann Voskamp but somehow more youthful sounding), and inspirational from both the artistic stance and the spiritual. If you have any ache in our soul or itch in your body to be creative or discover your purpose in life, give this slim volume some of your valuable time. You won’t regret it.

One of her early chapters offers this:

As we continue to uncover the shape of our unique design, we need not feel the pressure to figure out what to do with it.

Believe in myself and I sink into the waves of worry, procrastination, daily tasks, and diagnoses. There is no dry ground in sight. But sink into God and he will buoy the soul on top of the water.

Which obviously reminds me of the Sting song Shape of My Heart which happens to be playing as I type this.

This afternoon, once my eyes cleared of the watery, milky, bleach-related secretion, I walked out to the vegetable garden to empty some kitchen scraps into the compost. Excited to see how much my small square of kale had grown in two days, I was in for more unpleasantness. Someone, probably Lone Wolf the rooster, had eaten it! It was all chewed down to dark green nubs. Deep breath.

So… a possum eats a hen. And a rooster eats my kale. And I am wearing really good makeup, but it’s all smeary from bleach fumes. I cannot decide if this is some strange brand of reverse karma or just your run-of-the-mill weekday chaos.

What phase is the moon in right now?

Thank goodness for monarchs and soul-nourishing books. And Sting.

I blame the Ebola outbreak for most of this.

The End.

close and closer still

I am the only one awake in the house, probably the only one awake on the farm, except for Geoffrey our ever-hunting-and-prowling barn cat. The morning is so quiet. Not even a tree frog croaking. Just the buzz and click of my laptop and the hum of the refrigerator. Every window is still black with night sky. Strong coffee smells are warming up the room, making my mind more pliable and my eyes less bleary. I am wearing my much loved grey book club t-shirt and pink sweat pants given to me by my friend Marci when spontaneously one day we decided to dye every piece of fabric in sight the color turquoise, including the jeans I was wearing. The table where I’m writing this morning is covered in a bouquet of fading zinnias and half a dozen pieces of fruit plus the only attempt I have so far made toward autumn decorating. And a bottle of nail polish weighting down a story idea scribbled on a wrinkly paper towel.

My heart is incredibly still. Not everything is settled yet exactly, not by the world’s standards, but everything is alright. No, everything is amazing. I can see, feel, smell, and taste that every prayer we’ve uttered in faith is already answered. And that we will be seeing the proof of that slowly, bit by bit, in God’s time. They’ve been answered for years, really. And as new crises have happened in our life, those too have come paired with their own solutions, if only we would stop and focus and breath deeply enough to see. If only we would get close enough to the Problem Solver to no longer see the problem. I miss you Harvey. Thank you for teaching me that. It has changed my life.

Yesterday between working in the barn and playing in the garden, I stopped to feed my bees and the llamas all visited. Dulcinea was particularly kissy. I discovered this photo on my cell phone later and was overwhelmed with the feeling of being so close to God, like a little girl. The feeling of being face to face with Him, silent, cuddled, held with strong arms. Maybe like Scout sitting in Atticus’ lap in To Kill a Mockingbird.

get as close as you can until He is all you can see
get as close as you can until He is all you can see

A rooster is awake now, though the windows are still inky black. My husband of thirteen years will soon appear in the stairwell with a towel for me and a kiss, ready to stumble outside for Hot Tub Summit, as is our early morning custom. I will give him freshly brewed coffee that he bought for me at midnight last night because I foolishly left my can of it at book club. We will admire the last stars of night and maybe the first colorful streaks of dawn. We will take note of the llamas and cats and buffalo and horses and help each other kill mosquitoes but not honeybees.

Then later today we will work together at church, getting the physical space ready for spiritual work. We will pray together and face everything together then rest in this home we’ve made, this love we’ve curated. Keeping room for every seed of hope we’ve ever planted.

My friends are all facing big trials and heartaches, just like yours. My family is in crisis, just like yours. And I ache for them just as they have ached for me. But I feel such a flood of hope and assurance right now! The dawn is finally cracking open on a long, bitter night. I just want everyone to fix their sight on where that is happening. The Source of every solution, all the Love that we will ever need. Do not let anyone distract you with worrying or over-analyzing or thinking that you alone can do it. Be firm on that, okay?

Get so close that He is all you can see.

Happy brand new day to you! You are loved and you are needed to move that Love around this world. Be a conduit. Be happy.

It’s not time to worry yet.
~Atticus Finch
XOXOXOXO

 

 

summer 2014 vital stats

Well, friends, like it or not (though judging from the overdose of pumpkin everything we are seeing, most people really REALLY like it) autumn has arrived. Summer 2014 has finally drawn to a close, and here we are. My husband is particularly inconsolable. Why God didn’t allow that man to be born on a beach I will never understand.

I thought to commemorate this calendar event we would record some vital statistics from one of the loveliest, though fastest moving, summers in recent history. It really has been magical in many ways.

  • Sunburns: 1 (I was outdoors all day every day but also really good about SPF this year so apparently I’m a grown up now)
  • Pounds of tomatoes harvested: one million (just trust me, ok?)
tart made with homemade crust and garden fresh tomatoes and herbs
tart made with homemade crust and garden fresh tomatoes and herbs
  • Pounds of zuchinni harvested: two million
  • Squash Bugs battled: 70 trillion (let’s revisit that one with a depressing photo, shall we?)
squash bugs
hell hath no fury like a gardener overrun with these monsters
  • Pumpkins grown here at the farm: 24 (but they were all destroyed in one weekend by squash bugs)
  • Watermelons grown here at the farm: 7 (and they were beauties)
fresh homegrown watermelon oklahoma
If 2013 was the Summer of Basil, then 2014 has been the Summer of Watermelon…xoxo
  • Total watermelons eaten by me, all by myself, often in one sitting: 16
  • Goose attacks by Johnny Cash against me: just one (but it was really terrifying)
goose bite
A goose attacked me and I almost died. “That’s gonna leave a mark!”
  • Goose attacks by Mia against Handsome: innumerable
  • Bonfires enjoyed here with friends & loved ones: 7 (more to come now that the weather is mellowing)
  • Number of times I cut my own hair: 3 (send professional help)
  • How many times I won a trophy at a car show with my super cute Jeep-Jeep: 1 (and on a dare I did a cartwheel to celebrate)
  • Total number of car shows Handsome & I attended: maybe 8 (they are bone-melting hot but SO FUN)
I love this man more and more every week, for ever-expanding reasons. He is enduring one of the hardest years in his entire life and we appreciate every prayer, every hug, every supportive thought that is sent his way! xoxo
I love this man more and more every day, for ever-expanding reasons. He is enduring one of the hardest years in his entire life and we appreciate every prayer, every hug, every supportive thought that is sent his way! xoxo
  • Icy-slushie Drinks consumed after long sweaty hours of yard work: 12 (Dr. Pepper flavor for Handsome, coconut for me)
  • Number of stings endured: 5 (one wasp, one bumblebee, three Lazy W Honeymaker stings)
  • Miles ran: 153 (weak season, but I kind of needed the break mentally and physically, now getting back at it slowly)
  • Times I bought new bed sheets and put them on our bed without washing them: 0 (because that’s gross)
  • Times I bought new bed sheets and washed them before putting them on our bed: 1 (because I am a normal person)
  • Amount of wild Canadian goslings we adopted: 1 (and we love him so much)
wild Canadian gosling adopted by South African gaggle
Duck Duck the goose
  • Total number of photos I snapped of my gardens: 857 (times a thousand)
  • Total number of photos I snapped of my bees: 438 (also times a thousand)
  • Total number of times my iPhone storage was used up as a result: 9
The Lazy W Honeymakers also love the color turquoise. They told me so.
The Lazy W Honeymakers also love the color turquoise. They told me so.
  • Prayers answered: More than I have slowed down to count. But to sit and gaze at them in my heart is overwhelming. God is good. Life is beautiful. None of these summertime memories and none of our pain will be wasted. I am filled with gratitude and hope! Ready for the next season, whatever it brings.

joc dusty

So… Happy end-of-summer-start-of-autumn, sweet friends. I would love to hear a few of your memorable statistics from the past few months. Thank you so much for stopping in and saying howdy!

Mr. Avery said it was written on the Rosetta Stone that when children disobeyed their parents, smoked cigarettes and made war on each other, the seasons would change. Jem and I were burdened with the guilt of contributing to the aberrations of nature, thereby causing unhappiness to our neighbors and discomfort to ourselves.
-To Kill a Mockingbird
XOXOXOXO