Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

You are here: Home / Archives for daily life

“be gentle”

This reminder came to me in earnest on Saturday, but it has been circling for weeks: “Be gentle.” 

I saw it at a nearby thrift store while we shopped for a table lamp. The message stopped me in my tracks, the words scrawled in loopy handwriting with a blue grease pencil on this beautiful little dressing mirror, a pink vintage treasure, chalky to the touch and no doubt filled with memories. 

“Be Gentle,” the message pleads with passersby to not crash past and damage this.

I had been hearing and feeling this all month in lots of different ways, but I just kept crashing through every day.

Do you remember in that Jim Carrey movie Bruce Almighty when the silent homeless man holds so many cardboard signs, yet he goes largely unnoticed until finally the messages are unmistakably aimed at the main character? Ok. You’re with me now for sure.

Be Gentle, lady. Ease up.

It’s all okay.

Soften a little, breathe more deeply.

Touch everything more lightly.

Speak and think more slowly.

Gentle yourself,

like it’s a verb as much as an adjective.

Move into more delicacy.

I have a tendency to crash through my days with a weird sort of desperation, trying not to miss a thing, trying not to waste a drop of time or energy. Everything is so beautiful and I really do love my life so much, even the difficult parts. I’m learning to appreciate that particular sort of growth.

It’s all a positive panic, but still a panic. And too often that results in spreading my attention (my awareness) so thinly that I only manage to glance at my surroundings and opportunities. I miss out on the deep, nourishing soak that I crave. And that means that my people and animals and home and community miss out on my undivided attention. 

I move (and speak and think) so quickly that I become rough and handle breakable things carelessly. Things like dishes and garden tools and books and even relationships. 

When my grandpa was alive he would have said, “Settle, settle.” He would have hushed me lovingly, his tan and wrinkled hand parallel to the ground, pulsing steadily. He would have done so with a smile and maybe some soft laughter. 

Some gentleness is in order. Some stillness and attention. 

I definitely trust God enough to pause and take a deep breath. Choose to see and affirm that He is in control and that I can afford to slow down.

My zinnias and other summer flowers are fading slowly, very slowly, so I watch them obsessively. Every tiny change is fascinating. Beautiful.

 

Okay, this is precisely the motivation I needed today, friends. Kind of the opposite of how I usually revv my engines on Monday morning, ha! I hope it finds you in a state of bliss or inspiration or at least poised for exactly what your soul needs most.

Just a few days left of this fine transition month. I am so excited to see what November brings. But I will reign myself a little bit, gently, so it all comes more slowly. One glittering moment at a time. 

Slow Down, You Move Too Fast.
You Got to Make the Morning Last
~Simon & Garfunkel
XOXOXOXO

friday 5 at the farm: busy, happy, thankful week

Last weekend was a long one for us, four days of much needed deep refreshment, and this work week that wraps up today has been solid. It was solid, happy, productive, and good in many ways. Last week’s extended recharge has been put to good use. Here are some headlines from the Lazy W!

001 Dad’s Birthday!

My Dear Ol’ Dad turned 61 this week, and last night we all gathered at home for his requested dinner of, “ribeyes and hot fudge sundaes.”  Yum! I took exactly zero photos because we were having so much fun and my hands were always full. My sister Angela and I shopped and cooked dinner, then seven of us (all adults this time, which is rare) sat around the dining room table talking about DNA testing, conspiracy theories, some wild family history, and more. Everything. We feasted on food and love and excellent conversation. Jessica drove over, too, and we all had such a great time. Laugh upon laugh upon laugh! Happiest of birthdays, Dad, we love you so much!

002 Batmobile Progress

This morning, between meetings and court and who knows what else at the Commish, Handsome stole some time at a very cool Oklahoma City business to help blow the “bubbles” that will crown the Batmobile. And he invited me last minute to watch! So I dropped everything at the farm and drove to town. I haven’t told you much about this project yet, but I will soon.

Short version: It’s a fun and labor-intensive old-car restoration that will play a big role in our community outreach hopes and dreams. And it becomes more fun and exciting every week. When I say “bubbles” and “Batmobile” in the same sentence, do you picture exactly what I’m talking about? Cool.

003 Halloween Vibes

Thanks to an attic full of Halloween decorations and some pumpkin fun with friends last Saturday night, our house is festooned with all the seasonal details. We love it. And we are living our best hide-pounce-scream-recover life, too, especially after dark. So fun. Even the gardens are in on the spooky mood, and I take every opportunity to walk around the farm in galoshes and sweaters.

004 Aprons & Organization

Domestically, I have been working steadily to empty drawers and closets, purge, reorder, clean, and hold space everywhere I can find a bit of congestion. I crave space physically and emotionally. It feels amazing, like the best precursor to nesting. It’s that deep-breathing, roll-your-shoulders kind of private survey I like to do just as the seasons really trade. It feels great, and every day I find new things to do around here.

This afternoon my plate was clear enough to sew two fun apron designs that have been swimming in my head. (This one is for a very special local podcaster!)

005 Fat, Fuzzy Horses

In keeping with the season change, our farm-ily is fattened up and beginning to retain a certain amount of fluff and fuzz. It’s definitely time. The horses are eating all the hay I offer them (so much), and the chickens are feasting on more than the usual amount of herbs, rose hips, and grass clippings, plus all the average fare. Fingers crossed that they soon decided to lay some eggs.

Okay, that’s our little sum up from the week. Approximately one million other things happened, too, because life is full and beautiful. If our internet cooperates, I’ll have a post up sometime Saturday about what I’ve been reading, watching, and listening to. Good stuff.

Happy weekend!

Redeem the Time
Even the Weird Days & Moments
XOXOXOXO

 

 

 

 

indian summer and back again (and 5 friday photos)

An especially lush few months in Oklahoma made the end of August feel like June. The pond was high and glassy, the gardens verdant, almost tropical. All the way through Labor Day we luxuriated in one gorgeous week after another, scooping up a cool, mild daybreak here and there, just for extra credit.

Then we noticed the zinnias and gomphrena fading a little and the basil going to seed, even as the deep green leaves grew as big as your hand. The pond stayed high, but the goat head stickers finally made their unhappy appearance. (They were several weeks late, so we will try not to complain, but this is a sure sign of the end of the salad days.) We eventually halted daily pool maintenance and braced ourselves for the inevitable sight of that 20,000-gallon green lagoon. We knew fall was creeping up, but the afternoons stayed so humid. Pumpkin spice erupted on the scene, too. It was a mixed-up couple of weeks.

I was on the verge of making peace with the season change from summer to fall when the season changed again, back to a veritable heat wave. The wildflower meadows burst again with pollen. Overnight the pepper plants grew heavy with red, green, and purple treasures. The horses grazed lazily with sweaty bellies and swooshing tails. The afternoons were noisy with cicadas, and I was into it. I had even made peace with the grasshoppers, for chewing up my cannas.

 

When my husband noticed a “peak hours” electricity price event and the weather station said we could expect another heat wave, he cleaned the pool with feverish delight. I bought the last watermelon still languishing at the store, and we rallied for at least a few more days of summer. In late September.

Carpeing the diems, you know?

Well, we enjoyed two more swims this past week, and that watermelon was pure, sugary heaven. I made sure to feed the rinds to the horses slowly, knowing it would be many months before another such offering. I saved two big hunks for filling with seed for Shoulder Chicken. We made eye contact, and she understood the importance of this treat.

And now, our second summer is over. Nobody who has lived in Oklahoma very long is really surprised. The temperatures can swing from season to season effortlessly. We just take each week as it comes. Carpeing the diems to the best of our abilities and imaginations.

Today the skies slid opened and poured out all the promised floodwaters. The temperature at daybreak (72 degrees) was probably the warmest we will see for a while. And I am drinking coffee in the afternoon. This never happens when it’s hot outside. Yesterday I added some fall plants to my containers outside and some Halloween fun to a few corners of the house inside. We bought ingredients to bake for an upcoming pie contest in the City. And our bookshelves are loaded with good reading for when it’s too wet to enjoy the outdoors.

Summer 2018 was beautiful, satisfying, and pleasure-filled. We miss it already. I also learned a lot and felt like the work here was well done. But Autumn will bring her own smorgasbord of pleasures and work worth doing. I’m eager to sink into it all. 

“Slow down, you move too fast.”
Simon & Garfunkel
XOXOXOXO

 

reading & watching lately

Hey friends, happy Saturday! I hope if this is your weekend that you enjoy a long, deep drink from exactly the well of refreshment you need most. No doubt you have earned it.

For me, refreshment will mean cuddles and extended leg braids with my husband, and hopefully big bowls of plain popcorn and a great movie. It means one more easy run, maybe with friends, and as much yoga and foam rolling as I can slow down for. (It’s been a great mileage week and I need the stretch.)

Refreshment could mean a few fun outings around town, some gardening, one exceptional birthday party for our friend Jason, and also making substantial progress on the Lazy W Outreach Batmobile. I am so pumped about my husband’s newest project and cannot wait to tell you everything!

In case your idea of refreshment is reading and watching soul-nourishing stuff, here is a list of treasures I have found lately.

Kindness Diaries This is a Netflix series that chronicles a globe-trotting social experiment about generosity between strangers.  I found it by accident a few months ago. Now Handsome and I watch it together. The episodes are short (really short) and sweet (really sweet) so you can easily fit them into your busy life anytime your spirit needs a boost. The globe-trotting set up also means you get to learn about all kinds of places and cultures in a slightly different way, something more casual and less anthropological. Please sample this beautiful show for yourself, cuddled up with your people if possible. While not always easy to watch, the program is family friendly. And I love the overarching message that while the world from a great distance can be harsh and terrible, up close there is more than enough light to dispel the darkness. I cannot even say how much I love that.

“I realized on my journeys that all though we may be different religions, although we may be different colors, although we may live in different countries, we are all the same,” ~Leon Logothetis

Book of Joy: Can’t stop, won’t stop. I am on my third pass now, making note of my own notes from the first pass and organizing my thoughts and emotional responses along the way. Every day I find new layers and brighter echoes. This slim volume speaks to so many lessons I have been learning over the past eight years or so. And although the three authors are from different “religions” than any to which I have ever ascribed, all of it complements my deepest spiritual faith so cozily, I honestly feel like I was always meant to read it. Have you ever felt that way about a book?

Related, here is some exciting news: My friend Kellie recently listened to The Book of Joy on audio, liked it so well she is now reading the print version and agreed to discuss with me soon. Kellie S. is great at deep conversations. I am very excited. I happened to hear that our other friend Kelley F. had read it years ago and wants to discuss (yay! She is SO smart and I can’t wait to get better acquainted with her!), and still another friend Meredith (yes we all know each other already!) started reading it this week. I’m not even done. Brittany from Colorado (and Sante Fe and Paris and my dreams) checked it out at the library, as did my new internet-local running friend Jessica who is fast like lightning and bakes sourdough more than I do, and I know they will both love it. As of early this morning, our very own Handsome has also downloaded and started reading the book! He said he wants to finally see what it is I can’t stop talking about.

We have ourselves a small, intimate study group focused on a supremely worthwhile book.

Deep breath from all of that excitement!

Speaking of deep breathing… This article on the mindbodygreen website was super thought-provoking. It gave me a fresh look at the wellness of our little household, especially as the days cool down and shorten. Two things to which I have been trying to pay attention are micronutrition and rest. When I need energy, instead of thinking first about food or caffeine, I stop to breathe deeply and stretch. Maybe drink water or have a small piece of fruit, then wait to see how I feel in a bit. I think this practice has helped my digestion too, if you have read much about Ayurvedic medicine. It certainly helps me with mindfulness. If you read the article, I would love to hear your thoughts. 

An Autumn Mindset: The Inspired Room is such a gracious source for ideas and motivation on how to keep house and decorate, but in a lusciously gentle, meaningful way. I love love love her annual autumn nesting series, and this year it all begins with this mindset post. So perfect. My gosh. And doesn’t this quote apply to every season, every effort we make at home?

Cultivating an autumn mindset begins with quieting the noise of what everyone else is doing so we can actually focus on the simple joy of creating our own cozy sanctuary.

 

September light xoxo

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?  Last but not least, the Fred Rogers documentary. We curled up with some comfort food one evening and watched this, and it was just perfect. Better than I expected, more interesting and more emotional. I am so grateful to have been raised on television like this and Sesame Street. And as we watched, I learned more about my husband’s childhood, too. 

What have you been watching and reading lately?

Full disclosure: As I edit and try to post this for you, Shameless series 7 is playing in the background. The show is fascinating and prompts lots of great conversation, but it does require a palette cleanse here and there, haha. Hence, the list above.

Enjoy!

“There is no normal life that is free of pain.
It’s the very wrestling with our problems
that can be the impetus for our growth.”
~Fred Rogers 
XOXOXO

 

 

 

friday 5 at the farm: highlights from the week

Five Stories & Memories Worth Keeping from Labor Day Week, 2018:

#1 Nourished

We welcomed September with a Polish feast at our beloved Sperrys’ home.

Pierogis (first for me!), kielbasa, sauerkraut, a big crunchy green salad, and then dessert…

Dessert may not have been authentically Polish, but I guarantee nobody cared. It was called “Banoffee Pie,” and it has changed our lives.

It’s a prebaked pie shell filled with slices of banana, which are drowned in a sea of homemade caramel, and all of it is then topped with a thick cloud of homemade whipped cream, and then some grated dark chocolate because Kellie loves us a lot. I googled the recipe and discovered that sometimes they are made on a shortbread crust, which I am sure is delicious as well. We ate it fresh that night with Kellie and Mickey; then we nibbled leftovers greedily for two full days. It’s one of those desserts that gets better with a little time in the refrigerator. Yum!

Evenings with the Sperrys are so great. We always eat well, which is sharing a meal, which is different than just grabbing a bite with someone. We laugh a ton. And we have deep and meandering, free-form conversations about anything and everything, all four of us. It’s pretty great.

Complete with so many pup cuddles, too. We are in love with their three dogs. This time, after dinner we joined them for a walk around the block. Don’t you love it when your friendships begin to include not just the big, orchestrated events but also the simpler pleasures and routines in life? 

#2 Season of Transition

Pool Season 2018 has been winding down. Every week, we have tried to spend as much time out there as possible. Whether we were in the thick of a tropical heat wave or hunkering down beneath more heavy rain, the pool has been surprisingly comfortable. But those temperature swings and the growing algae are making it all unmanageable. So Labor Day Week is very likely pool closing week at the W.

We are thankful to have been swimming for so many consecutive months this year. It’s been a lot of fun, especially with Bill the Rodeo Inflata-Bull. Ha! In fact, on Wednesday afternoon Jess (our youngest) brought a friend to the farm. They had a pretty entertaining competition over who could stay on longest. It seems there is a technique to not just staying on, but also to the getting on in the first place. If Summer 2019 includes more chlorine rodeo fun, we may have to agree upon a scoring system.  

P.S. I often tell the kids when I snap photos of them visiting the farm, that I will not share the photos online, haha! This is really tragic because they are all gorgeous kids and always take such fun and interesting photos! Anyway.  Please enjoy, instead, a photo of our dinner table garden bouquet and Jessica’s homemade pumpkin pie. Absolutely delicious! She altered the recipe in a few ways, and everyone loved it! 

#3 Back to Work

Having enjoyed so much time off together in August, this first week of Septemeber, although slightly shortened thanks to Labor Day, felt weird without Handsome at home.

The shift in weather definitely enhanced the overall feeling of a new season. It’s almost like back to school, although those particular autumn routines are far in our household’s past. Each “workday” for me this week has been packed with productivity, and my energy has been good and steady. I am noticing that Virgo draw toward deep cleaning and lots of order. I just miss our late lunches and easy afternoons, chilling together. xoxo It was another very good staycation. 

#4 Wet, Unfueled Run & God’s Timing

I had planned on a 12 mile run for early this morning. I ate a good dinner Thursday night and slept well. Unfortunately, we woke up to not just the predicted rain, but flash flood warnings. I normally would eat a bite of peanut butter toast or something before a run that long, but given the time crunch, I decided to just get to the trail asap and grab as many miles as possible, then see what the day might hold. (Treadmill finish is always an option.)

I ran and ran, giving thanks for the excellent glycogen stores from last night’s chicken and broccoli-rice, clicking off one mile at a time. The rain stayed soft and gentle, with lots of black clouds but no lightning and no floods. So I kept running. Eventually, I hit 9 miles at that easy pace then got really tired and really hungry, haha. Then the asphalt got slippery, so all of that together meant that I slowed down quite a bit. The morning finished with exactly 11 miles, injury free, ha! 

This story is worth remembering because YES we can do more than we are prepared to do and because YES if God’s timing can be trusted with the big miracles in life, then surely His timing can also be trusted with little things. One mile at a time.

#5 Thoughts on Loop

I almost cannot stop thinking about a few topics:

  • Adaptogens and adaptation, not just in health and fitness but in all areas of life. Humans are so adaptable! 
  • Will I ever be able to grow zucchini again without squash bugs making me crazy? (spoiler alert, unlikely)
  • The fine line between prayer and meditation and how slow-paced running is definitely related
  • The movie Interstellar (which I haven’t seen in a couple of years but the themes are always with me)
  • Granola, mostly pumpkin infused with lots of coconut, nuts & seeds, and dark chocolate
  • Exactly what to plant in the two big rubber troughs flanking the barn mural

Regarding those trough planters in the above photo: I have some ideas but would love your suggestions! They are both filled almost to the top with well rotted manure, they get eastern exposure, and they are some of the first things you see before parking your car along the gravel drive. I would love some ideas for year round liveliness or at least seasonal color. Thanks!!

Bonus Content:

Friends, we have a few huge miracles brewing, from several areas of life. We have for so many months asked for prayer, and we appreciate every single one.

Now we are in a season of giving thanks. Giving thanks for the present moment, for the hope that keeps us moving, and for the ever increasing evidence that God is working behind the scenes in supernatural ways.

Please keep it up! And please know that we are thrilled to send you Love and pray for you every time you need it. Just let me know.

Tomorrow is Jocelyn’s 23rd birthday. I am so happy and so grateful, I keep catching myself giggling and weeping over it all. 

God is good. Life is beautiful. The whole adventure is just amazing.

Happy September!! Talk again soon!

XOXOXOXO