Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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manic monday

It’s Monday again and I have not blogged since last Monday. Honestly I am not sure I can continue this miscellaneous writing project. It feels so much more like an obligation than an outlet these days, and I have lost sight of the benefits. Week after week I have more to do in my real life than ever before, and increasingly less time to do it all. Ironically this means there are more life and farm stories to tell than ever, but when? When do I sit down to type, and with what surplus energy and focus? A voice in my head (this voice always comes from behind my left ear, not far from that soft spot above my jawbone) keeps whispering that if I can afford time to blog I can afford time to actually write. You know, like a book or something.

Anyway, no matter how tightly I plan my hours week to week and day to day, they seem to get slashed by one unexpected demand after another. (haha, I guess that is a fairly universal problem.) Lately I barely even have time to run the minimum amount of “sanity” miles without consciously saying no to either my husband or some housework, etc.

On the bright side, the Apartment has been humming along with a steady stream of sewing projects, most of which will gradually bring in Christmas money and more. And important prayers are still being answered. We are still being kept afloat in big and small ways. The trick is to pay close enough attention to appreciate it all. It’s just that sometimes I grow weary of pointing out the bright side, because there is always someone there to deflate my spirit or draw me back into their version of “reality.” And I have to tell myself that surely these people do not realize how hurtful this behavior can be.

I know, I know, womp-womp, poor me. It’s just where I am right now. I believe fiercely in miracles, in the power of prayer and imagination, in the necessity of faith. Faith can move mountains, after all. I also believe this may be a season of protecting my own faith and sheltering myself a little more. And sheltering my time? I have some reevaluating to do. Some personal decisions to make.

On top of all that, Handsome and I have some big decisions to make for our little Eden, the dirt and hooves Lazy W, so we would appreciate your best thoughts and prayers for guidance. Wisdom. 2016 may be a year of radical change.

horses napping

Ok, my actual to-do list is waiting and surely yours is too, so off we go. Have a lovely Monday!

“If you don’t have time to do it right,
when will you have time to do it over?”
~John Wooden
XOXO

motivation monday: why I’m not waiting until January

I sat down last night and typed out a little summary of how things are going in my pursuit of health and skinny-ness, and it felt super redundant. I even asked my husband his thoughts on my sharing it, and he thought I was weird for even asking. Then Facebook showed that “On This Day” exactly a year ago I had shared almost the exact same thoughts on my blog. I mean, you guys, the seasonal stuff does tend to repeat itself, but you would be laughing right along with me to see how similar these two posts are.

Anyway. So last year I wrote this and last night I wrote almost the exact same thing. No need to share them both. Instead, here is what was on my mind this morning during my run:

Why I am not waiting for a New Year’s Resolution to focus on my health:

5 reasons I'm Not Waiting till Jan

What are your thoughts on this? Is any part of wellness on your radar right now, or in the back of your mind is it something you’ll take care of later, or in January, or eventually when the stars align? What is it about your goal that makes you think t’s better to wait?

Thank you for posting this Dorothy Beal! http://www.mile-posts.com/
Thank you for posting this Dorothy Beal! http://www.mile-posts.com/

Just some food for thought, friends. I finally know for myself that treating my body really really well affects a lot more than how I look in jeans and bikinis. It affects my mood, my outlook on life, relationships, mental acuity, everything. We are not meant to live separate from our bodies, after all, and accepting that the body and spirit are deeply intertwined has allowed everything to make so much sense for me. This understanding makes the short term payoffs of diet and exercise much more valuable, so that the continued effort can bring those long term results, you know?

Anyway. Above are my five reasons for starting now. Here are my five strategies for December:

  1. Run more and with greater variety in my workouts (30 miles per week, add some speed work).
  2. Adding strength exercises a few times each week.
  3. Watch junk food, obviously. But focus on eating all the vegetables I can find!
  4. Sleep, water, and vitamins. I keep a gallon jug of water in my fridge and make a point to drink it empty by bedtime.
  5. Yoga or deep stretching once a week. Three cheers for YouTube!

I’ll be checking in here every Monday this month to make notes of how these five guidelines are serving me. Rumor has it that Monica may be hosting a fitness challenge this month again, so that may be fun too. In November her motivation helped me run most of the 100 miles I promised, despite a hectic farm and family schedule.

Do you have some ideas for wellness in December? I would love it if you checked in with me here on Mondays, just to encourage each other.

“He who takes medicine
and neglects to diet
wastes the skill of his doctors. 
~Chinese Proverb
XOXOXOXO

 

i love people who… (thanksgiving edition)

I love people who set the table with formal precision, using place cards and evenly spaced forks and multiple wine glasses. This makes their guests feel fancy and loved.

I also love people who buy colorful harvest-themed paper plates and serve the meal on TV trays to save that dishes-washing time for extra cuddling later. This makes their guests feel relaxed and loved.

I love people who fold linen napkins into amazing designs and also people who spin stacks of paper napkins into silly little spiral towers.

I love people who get a thrill from cooking the entire meal alone, to serve their loved ones in one grand gesture.

And I love people who divvy up the menu, throwing caution to the wind, and eat everything anybody brings.

I love people who make reservations at restaurants and spend every spare minute talking face to face with their people then tip their waitstaff generously as a holiday gift.

Folks who order full traditional meals from boutique grocers? Love those folks.

I once worked at the bank with a woman who had been so poor as a young, single Mom that for Thanksgiving one year all she could afford was a Spam and canned vegetables. She added what she could to the Spam, served it, and counted her blessings. I think of her every single year while I am planning and cooking way too much food. I love her and her story.

I love people who buy a stack of frozen pie crusts on sale in August then thaw them in November and fill them with canned fruit fillings, and I obviously love people who spend hours mixing their own fats and flours to get the perfect flaky crusts then fill them with peeled fruits they probably grew at home.

I love people who fall asleep watching the Thanksgiving Day parade, and I love people who go on nature hikes while the turkey roasts.

I love people who insist on playing football during the Thanksgiving party, or watching it on television, and I love people who write complicated toasts for their people no matter how botched they end up every yea (me)r.

Some families are good at discussing hot button political topics over stuffing and pumpkin pie. Others wisely eschew this minefield and get really familiar with each other’s day to day life instead. I love it all. (Have you seen the SNL skit yet where they use the new Adele song to dissuade an explosive family fight?)

I love people who deep fry their turkeys just as much as I love those who roast it the same way every year, using Grandma’s pan and secret method. I love people who brine the bird and people who brown bag it.

I love the canned-cranberry-jelly citizens out there in Thanksgiving Land, and I love my grandmother’s raw citrus-cranberry relish and all who love that along with me.

Some people search out every traditional family recipe they can find, and others reach for a more global, cosmopolitan vibe for the Turkey Day menu. Still others (like the Snapp family we know and love) opt for their own unique tradition of steaks and baked potatoes. I love all of these people. Maybe especially the Snapps.

My friend Carmel was the Indian to my Pilgrim way back in 6th grade, for a church pageant. I still wear this apron. xoxo
My friend Carmel was the Indian to my Pilgrim way back in 6th grade, for a church pageant. I still wear this apron. xoxo

The different ways that people celebrate this pretty cool holiday are just delightful. I so enjoy looking around and noticing that, for all our homogenization and structure (and retail saturation), we can be a pretty imaginative and various culture. We are good at honoring our roots while growing our wings. And that is beautiful.

This Thanksgiving, enjoy your details, whatever they may be. Celebrate your traditions and your quirks. Love your people harder than ever. That’s my advice. And give some thanks, actively. It matters.

Very Happy Thanksgiving to You and Yours
from The Lazy W, Oklahoma
XOXOXOXO

 

unbridled joy and easy gratitude

Ahhh November, the month of thankfulness. The season of expressing gratitude and counting our blessings, of celebrating the gifts in our life.

Over these past few years I have shared with you guys stuff I’ve learned (reluctantly at times) about the muscles of gratitude, about the importance of showing our thankfulness even when we aren’t really feeling it and about how that discipline can get you to a brighter place. I believe deep down in my bones that the purposeful, conscious act of choosing joy is vital to our temporary well-being and infinitely beneficial to our long-term spiritual health. I also believe that your choice to see the good in life becomes your pulse, gradually, and that over time you cannot help but feel drawn to the brightest of everything and even learn to overlook the dark. So often in life, after all, we are clouded by worry or surrounded by grief and joy does not come naturally.

autumn ivy

And then sometimes joy comes very naturally.

Sometimes life surprises us with wave after wave of unbridled joy. Do you ever feel so happy and giddy that you look around to see if anyone else is feeling it, too? Almost like you need someone else to be similarly caught up in your elation in order for it to be real, or for you to feel okay about it? Especially when huge oceans of grief seem to be swallowing the globe, or swallowing our friends, it can feel self-indulgent to just be really happy about life.

Sometimes you just feel so great that you simply want to share it.

Things are looking up for us, friends. In three or four million different ways. Handsome and I still have normal problems like everybody else, and we always will. Some of them are pretty serious, actually. But we have better perspective than ever. The seasons of grief and waiting have taught us all those important lessons about gratitude and humility, upward gaze and steady breath. Now the unbridled joy is building strength. I find myself grinning for no reason at all. For every reason. At this point, giving up on those yet unanswered prayers would be so ridiculous. We have more evidence than ever that miracles are real. That faith counts. That grateful hearts are receptive to the best gifts.

frosty roses

frosty pots

We woke up to a beautiful, magical, frosty farm. We have in front of us just as much play as work. Our blessings are easy to count. Thanksgiving week at the Lazy W is starting with a big swell of energy and Love, and we want to share it.

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions.
The more you express gratitude for what you have,
the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.”
~Zig Ziglar
XOXOXOXO

letting go, change is good, and a waterfall in africa

After twenty one years of motherhood (I am being generous here and including the pregnancy months), I have reached the conclusion that our children’s life stages have more to do with us, the parents, being ready to let go than with our children being ready to move on. Yes, of course there is the preparation and the skill set building. The growth and the strengthening. But I believe it is harder on us for them to leave than the other way around. Our instincts are all wired for this, so it has to be true. That is my thesis statement, and I am sticking to it.

She left in March, remember? And I thought she would be home by September and we would get back to our shopping and our cooking lessons. I thought we would be talking about college perhaps or who knows what, just here in Oklahoma, haha. She did come home, of course, but only for a week around her birthday. And she brought a boy. The same sweet boy I met when I visited her in June. And then they were gone again. And now she is off pursuing her own joy and blazing her own trails. Feathering her own nest, as nature commands.

I snapped this at the peak of Old Man, moments after the three of us reached it. These two led the way that day. They pointed out the footholds. They laughed and ran and climbed and worried for me and encouraged me. Quite an amazing little role reversal on a gorgeous mountain in Colorado. I will never in my life forget this day. xoxo
I snapped this at the peak of Old Man in Estes Park, moments after the three of us reached it. It was quite a little rock scramble. These two led the way that day. They pointed out the footholds. They laughed and ran and climbed and worried for me and encouraged me. It was an amazing, loving little role reversal on a gorgeous mountain in Colorado. I will never in my life forget this day. xoxo

I have had a different idea of how things might go, but that has been true since the beginning. Since before she was born. And you know what? No matter how different the details have been, it all has been pretty wonderful. In so many ways, life has been far better than how I would have designed it all by myself.

Which is not to say that my deepest wishes and wildest imaginations have been neglected. Not by a long shot. Plenty of the visions I had before she was born have come to fruition. And looking back over the past 15 years, especially just these past 15 months, I can say with a trembling sort of confidence that our prayers are always being heard. So make them really, really good but keep an open heart about what else might happen.

Without a doubt, life is big and beautiful and full of amazing surprises, and life goes on even when we are quite off course from where we expected to be.

For these reasons I am no longer really afraid of change. So many surprises in life just turn out for the best. I occasionally get nostalgic for the past, or for the unfulfilled longings of motherhood or just life in general, but I try not to nurse those wounds too much. Instead, I just acknowledge the feelings then actively focus on the blessings right in front of me. When I compare those little losses to the big, miraculous ways life has actually been happening? It is amazing. It is just unreal how much God leads and guides and protects us, despite ourselves.

Let’s rephrase this to be a little more real, a little less preachy:

It is amazing how much God has been leading and guiding and directing my life and protecting me, despite my mistakes. Despite my shortcomings. Despite my failures and weaknesses. It is amazing how generous He has been with my prayer requests, despite my worrying mind.

A friend once posed this question: What if all of your dreams came true? What you got every single one of your wishes? 

A big reason I am no longer really afraid of change is that the Universe seems to have so much better in store than what I have been asking of it. Letting go is difficult, and change sometimes hurts for a while, but thank goodness for the explosion of growth. Thank goodness for the renewal available to us all the time, if we choose it. Thank goodness for all those thrilling surprise blessings that we didn’t even know were possible.

********************

For the past few nights I have fallen asleep listening to the most luscious program about the extreme corners of the earth and the people and animals who survive there. It has been a soothing and stimulating way to fill and empty my brain before rest. One segment was about the Zambezi River and Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe. These are the largest waterfalls in the world, and they are stunning.

(photo credit to http://victoriafallstourism.org/victoria-falls-photos/)
(photo credit to http://victoriafallstourism.org/victoria-falls-photos/)

The world is full of awe-inspiring natural wonders, and if you loved your journey through Africa, Australia is another captivating destination to explore. Its diverse landscapes, from vibrant coral reefs to vast deserts, offer unique experiences for every traveler. A journey through the country’s rugged terrain reveals a world of surprises, like the majestic Blue Mountains Waterfalls, where cascading waters create a tranquil ambiance amidst the dramatic cliffs. The area is rich in ancient rainforests and indigenous history, making it a perfect blend of natural beauty and cultural depth.

What got my attention even more than the sight is the geological history. The falls empty into a deep, wide gorge which didn’t exist before a diverted flow of the river eroded the rock there. The rock just collapsed, and the wide, powerful river followed. I cannot remember exactly how the narrator phrased this long process, but it churned my heart up.

Water. Just water, in its natural state, moving energetically and following its own path and purpose, over time dramatically altered the face of the earth. And then it kept on being water and was, one day, this magnificent, complex, dangerous and beautiful waterfall.

The original river must have been beautiful enough. But what if we had never seen this waterfall?

********************

My Dad has always joked that once a baby learns to walk, it’s all over. He’s right. And with this joke he is gently acknowledging that this new skill opens up the world to that baby, including Colorado Rocky Mountains and waterfalls in Zimbabwe.

So, yes- change is okay. Change is good. Roll with it. Let your children go when the time comes. Trust that Love has both you and them in a firm, safe grip. Abandon control and “shoulds” a little bit and watch for amazing surprises along the way. And pray always. Persistently. Be like that river and change the face of the earth with your prayers.

Wishing you all the very best surprises life has to offer.
XOXOXOXO