The Iron Goat in June

   Always on the lookout for a way to shake up fitness routines, this month I am trying something new. Really, it is just a new combination of classic exercises, but a fairly ambitious one. It is called The Iron Goat, and it was arranged (invented?) by a Navy friend of my little brother and sister-in-law, aimed at helping folks stay ship shape (haha) over the winter holiday. If you’d like to read more about it besides what I will patch together, well here ya go.

Mama Goat with Marshmallow, Sugar & Spice, and Lucy & Ethel in our front field. The fact that they are actually behind the fence in this shot has only to do with the fact they they wanted to be there. No amount of pleading, bribing, threatening, or fence altering could ever keep them where they didn’t want to be.

   My basic understanding is that The Iron Goat is is the meat and potatoes of The Iron Man competition, but spread over the course of a month instead of crammed into one day. So it gets a person to run, bike, and swim consistently for about four weeks. What is it we always hear about setting up habits, that it takes about twenty-one days? Well this should do the trick. Either that, or by the end of this month I will hate running, biking, and swimming.

Sugar, one of Mama’s twins. She really was a sweetie!

 
   Anyway, my gorgeous and already fit sister-in-law did this last winter with a small group of Navy friends and was one of three to complete it. They motivated each other, stayed accountable, and had fun. And I have to say that she looked incredible afterwards. Svelte, toned, and just overall very healthy, lean, and filled with stamina. Yep, that is a good and worthy goal, ladies and gentlemen.

Marshmallow with her twin girls Lucy & Ethel, posing and begging for treats and the same time.

   I have been exercising sporadically ever since our twiggy little Christmas tree came down in January, alternating between the elliptical machine, Pilates, and Jillian Michaels’ particular version of torture. And I have had reasonable results. Really, I have just been working out enough to keep up with my favorite hobby, which is eating lots of good food. Now I’m ready to see some progress, and I think this is going to be great. Surely running 26.2 miles, biking 112 miles, and swimming 2.4 miles will do this girl some good! And it sounds so fun!! Most of this is outdoors, much better than the alternative. And to make things even more awesome, my fellow adventurer Tracy is joining me! She even built a spreadsheet so we can track our progress.

The Three Billy Goats Gruff. This was our motley crew of stinky, aggressive, but very lovable boys.

   Today we begin. June first, day one of thirty aimed at challenging, consistent, variety-filled, full-body exercise. My skinny jeans better get ready, you guys.

   To mark this auspicious beginning, how about two few loosely related lists?

Some Facts About Goats:

• They are smelly. Like, worse than skunks in my opinion.
• But they are affectionate and filled with personality and very smart. And highly entertaining.
• Billy goats sometimes pee in their own mouths, sort of doing a crazy yoga pose to accomplish this. Seeing this strange ritual is not for the faint of heart.
• They are so difficult to contain that I fully agree with the old adage, “Any fence that holds water will hold a goat.” I actually doubt they have bones and think they might be made of jello, because I have seen with my own eyes a fat, solid goat squeeze through an opening barely big enough for a cat.
• They will eat every weed and every low hanging branch and leaf in sight, which sounds like a great landscaping help, but they do that only after devouring every rose, hydrangea, and daffodil in sight.
• The females tend to bear twins. This happened on our farm twice during the short time we raised goats.
• There is an interesting and true story behind the expression, “Get Your Goat, ” but I’ll save that for another day.

Some Outright Lies:

• I have a very normal, very grown-up bicycle ready to go for this June event. I am not going to ride 112 miles on a tricycle with a flower basket on the back, up and down our gravel driveway a million times.
• I am not the least bit nervous about swimming in an Olympic pool in front of strangers to accomplish my 2.4 water miles.
• I plan to post before and after photos of myself and also give you my starting and ending measurements.
• I love the taste of goat cheese.
• I have gorgeous feet from all the elliptical work this Spring, and they should only become prettier after I add running to my life.
• My husband thinks I will finish this.