Lazy W Marie

Carpeing all the diems in semi-rural Oklahoma...xoxo

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Five Senses Inventory, Keeping Happy Vigil

   What a week! Whew. From a family funeral last weekend to celebrating both of our dads’ birthdays, some work travel for Handsome, and a few days of fun with our nephew for me, we have stayed busy and wrung out emotionally. I have lots of photos and stories to share, and happily Proverbs 31 themes are warming up my heart at a nice, healthy boil. But yesterday one of our fuzzy babies showed up with a cut leg, and everything came to a standstill. He’s fine, already healing nicely, but it definitely got my attention and sort of wiped my calendar clean for most of the day.

   What follows is a Five Senses Inventory of the hours I spent with the Bachelors yesterday, keeping our tenderhearted patient company. I sat on the ground near the front field and ate a bizarre lunch of saltine crackers and Coke. Real Coke, not Diet. I know, I was shocked too.

Side note: 
From now on, when I refer to the Bachelors, 
I mean Dusty the gray and white pony, Chunk-Hi the buffalo, and Romulus, the llama.
See: Our unblinking Romulus seven feet to my left, staring at me with incredible focus. Dusty and Chunk-Hi three feet to my right but behind the fence. Dozens of yard birds in a happy struggle against the wind. Summer’s last zinnias, just now starting to fade, waving in the wind. Sky-scraping pine trees waving in the wind too.

In case you missed it on Facebook, our great llama name debate has been settled. 
He has officially been dubbed Romulus.
But he still answers to “LLAMA!!!”
Except, so do I. Because it’s really close to “MAMA!!!”
Hear: Gusty, thrilling Oklahoma wind.Crows. A rooster echoing from inside the metal barn. More wind, like the ocean.
Touch: Cold breeze slicing through my Grandpa’s hand-me-down canvas jacket, its furry collar soft against my face and neck. Goosebumps where my jacket is unfastened. Rubber boots encasing my bare feet. Sun hot on my french braided hair.
Smell: That wonderfully sweet, organic bovine odor, the one that only Chunk-Hi’s velvety body can put off. Also, hay (I adore the smell of hay) and a sort of clove-like smell from my Coke.
Taste: The salty-sweet residue of my terribly unhealthy but satisfying lunch.

Think: I am constantly, constantly thinking of my beautiful daughters. I think of them as babies, as toddlers, as children, and as young women. I think of what they might be doing elsewhere as I sit here. I think of their futures and the untold possibilities there.

Feel: Romantic, hopeful, grateful for our families, confident in the potential for all kinds of healing, fascinated by the political climate right now, and overall inspired. I feel inspired to pick up broken pieces of things and make new, even more beautiful things. I feel inspired to control my body in new ways because now I know I can. Now I know that very few physical things are left to chance. I feel close to my animals but not in an owner-owned kind of way. Today they look at me deeply.

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   I hope you take a few minutes to inventory your world. Notice what’s going on around you and inside you. Imagine amazing things for yourself and your loved ones, dwell on the best things, count your blessings. I’ll be checking in again soon for some excellent family stories and more of Proverbs 31.

Happy Weekend Friends!
xoxoxoxo

Proverbs 31:10-12 Stand By Your Man

   Thanks again for joining me on this slow exploration of Proverbs 31. The rest of this month should feel a lot more relevant to us ladies, to those of us craving to be intentional, spiritually meaningful wives and homemakers. It’s kind of like the long awaited cheese and dessert buffet when all you’ve eaten for hours is a rice cake and some limp celery.

   No offense to the first nine verses; they are important in their own way. But now that we have context and voice nailed down we can really start having some fun.

   Real quick, do you ever do this: Do you ever feel super guilty for referring to a Bible passage like this, “Oh now that’s a good one!” As if to imply the rest are not so hot? I digress, but it’s a thinker.

   Okay.

   Proverbs 31: 10-12

“Who can find a virtuous woman?
for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her,
so that he shall have no need of spoil.
She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

   Beautiful and complex.

   Even without all of the supporting instruction that follows, these three verses pretty much summarize the importance and purpose of a good wife. She is priceless. Her husband’s heart trusts safely in her. I love that, the notion that his heart trusts in her, his innermost self, his unspoken core. That’s powerful. For her entire life, she only helps him; she never brings him harm. Everybody needs someone that devoted, right? Apparently, men especially need this. And women are well suited for the job.

   These qualities probably seem easy enough to possess as a newlywed bride, or at any time in life that the swells of romance are cresting high and frothy. It’s easy and fun to strive for excellence at those times. Because it just feels so darn good.

Our first kiss as a married couple, 2001.

   I love taking excellent care of my husband when we have been trading lots of love notes and such. I am long on inspiration of how to spoil him when we are clicking along in sync with each other, feeding greedily off of the sugary, if shallow, nourishment of romance.

   But since all relationships have fluctuating glamour, since every marriage has its challenges, we will eventually reach a point where it is not so easy to lavish each other with goodness. That doesn’t mean we’re off the hook!

   Personally, I must learn to be just as devoted and trustworthy to Handsome when I am feeling insecure and afraid as when that lovely swell of romance is carrying me easily above our problems. He doesn’t need my devotion any less just because I am feeling un-spectacular.

   Virtuous. This could encompass so much about the woman’s character, and perhaps it varies from person to person. But I think it’s worth noticing that virtue is mentioned ahead of beauty.

   No need of spoil. What does this mean to you? To me it conjures up ideas of living within our means, financially. A husband whose wife overspends their resources will eventually find himself in need of spoil, in need of finding money somewhere to cover the gap. But a man who trusts safely in his wife knows that she will not abuse their cash or credit cards, for example.

   Or perhaps it has to do with fidelity and loyalty. What do you think?

   She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. I mean, that sounds simple and obvious. It should be. But back to the less enchanted times… How much effort does it take for a wife to do her husband good when she disagrees with his decisions? Or when he makes a mistake or outright hurts her? This verse doesn’t offer the comfy caveat that a desirable, priceless wife is only meant to do good to her husband when it is easy to do so; rather, it says that she is always good to him. She is always his supporter and his ally.

   Moreover, she does good to him. That to me is an active suggestion. She isn’t just waiting around being reactive, as is so natural for women to do. She is actively helping him, finding on her own ways to bless him and support him, all the days of her life. It doesn’t end when the honeymoon is over. And it doesn’t end when the children leave the nest. And it doesn’t end when you both retire or have mid life crises or whatever, or when one of you is sick. The direction to love and help and do good only evolves with time, with our changing needs.

   Is anybody else resisting the urge to sing Stand By Your Man?

   Twang away, ladies. Just twang away.

   I definitely realize some of you are rolling your eyes and maybe even flipping me off right now. Relax. It’s just a song.

   The thing is, wherever you fall in the broad spectrum of modern feminism, these Bible verses clearly state that a husband thrives with the support and love of his wife. How could he not? This is not useless, meaningless stuff. This is how we were created. This is how we are designed to complement each other in marriage.

   At least that’s how I see it.

   Give him two arms to cling to.

   Be proud of him.

   Stand by him, and not just when it’s easy.

   Be priceless.

xoxoxoxo

Proverbs 31: Passing of a Matriarch

   Late last night my husband’s grandmother passed away. She was the matriarch of his Dad’s family and the woman who helped carry the moniker of The Lazy W from the Oklahoma Land Run generation to her children’s, and now to ours.

   Was she a Proverbs 31 kind of woman?

   Absolutely.

   Mrs. Myrtle Wreath was a devoted wife and mother. She thrived in her home and made it a haven for her husband, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

   She sewed extensively for her family, including beautiful matching square-dance apparel for herself and her husband. In their youth they were practically famous in Oklahoma for their dancing! She quilted magically by hand, often from scraps (a woman after my own heart for sure).

   Grandma Myrtle was known as a magnificent cook, perhaps especially of sweets. Her grandchildren have fond memories of old-fashioned taffy pulls at the holidays, a tradition I really hope to revive soon at our much smaller Lazy W. I have a stack of her handwritten recipes that will get dusted off this weekend for Handsome and his Dad, starting with Snicker-doodles. She drank strong coffee with real cream, no sugar, and plenty of it.

   She always kept a clean, comfortable, and well appointed home and opened it constantly to loved ones. She also worked outside the home when necessary to provide for her young family.

   This is a woman who helped build a successful farm in the western prairies of Oklahoma. Together with her husband Paul, she raised three beautiful children, two boys and a girl. She helped him farm wheat and cattle commercially, and they grew productive kitchen gardens and kept chickens, dairy cows, and pigs year after year.

   Grandma Myrtle was a strong, gentle, industrious Oklahoma pioneer, as true as they come, and she was a Proverbs 31 woman naturally. Even without claiming much religion publicly, she embodied these values, and her family was blessed extensively by that. What a lovely thing to strive for!

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   As our family huddles up for the weekend of grieving and remembrance, I may miss a few days of posting for this Proverbs 31 project. But I am so grateful to have the image of this woman fresh in my heart, as well as images of my own grandmothers, to delve deeply into the best parts of these scriptures next week.

   Thanks in advance for your warm wishes to Handsome and his Dad, and please feel free to share memories of the special Proverbs 31 women in your life!

xoxoxoxo

 

Proverbs 31: Guest Post by the Lovely & Fascinating Periphery

Where Is My Mind? 
King Solomon and The Pixies
For starters, a giant thank you to Marie for her thoughtful contemplation of Proverbs 31 this month. She has given me new perspectives on some dear old verses. Not to mention, llamas. And thank you, thank you, thank you for letting me guest post here today, Marie. I am truly honored that you would let my words fill your space for a day.

Do you listen to The Pixies? No matter. That’s what Youtube is for.

I married a die-hard Pixies fan, so I’ve seen Frank Black close enough to almost reach out and rub his grumpy bald head twice and this song features heavily in the soundtrack of my life. Not a fan? That’s OK. It’s an acquired taste.

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground,
Try this trick and spin it, yeah.
Your head will collapse
If there’s nothing in it.
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?
Where is my mind?

We are busy people. There are never, ever enough hours in the day. (Except sometimes we have those days that have far too many hours and it’s not bedtime soon enough, but those are just as bad.) Stress related illnesses and injuries are killing more and more people. It’s serious, folks. We are busy people. 

Where is my mind?

Read about the woman in Proverbs 31:10-31. She’s a busy woman. She stays up late and gets up early, she cooks exotic meals, she gets the shopping done, she and her family are well dressed, she makes her own clothes and then sells some too, she’s a philanthropist, she does real estate deals, she’s got her own vineyard! And after all of this, her family blesses her and tells other people how awesome she is. Is she for real? What’s her secret?

We have different work now than our busy friend of thousands of years ago. Not many of us are seeking out flax and wool out of necessity (although, the knitters among us may have some stashed away for fun.) Our work varies from household to household. Some of us have children and spouses, some of us have animals, some of us have demanding day jobs, some of us have lots of land, some of us have health issues to manage. Some of us have all of the above. Are we stressed? 

Where is my mind?

She does good and not harm… she works with willing hands… she dresses herself with strength… she makes her arms strong… she perceives… she considers… she is not afraid… she opens her hand… she opens her mouth with wisdom… the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

These all work together to paint a picture of mindfulness: of conscious and considered choices, of intelligence and purpose, of planning and forethought. This is no harried housewife, running around to put out fires. This is no resentful martyr. This is a strong and mindful woman.

Where is my mind?

Perhaps this woman is a myth. No one gets it right all the time. The work of daily life can wear us down and discourage us – no matter what our particular work is. There are sometimes fires to put out, despite our best efforts. Sometimes we find ourselves spinning with our feet in the air and our heads on the ground. Sometimes our mouths open with exhaustion and the teaching of kindness isn’t anywhere near our tongues. These are realities. It is also a reality that there is no escaping this work of being alive. But I believe in another facet of this reality, too. That we are all given the ability to choose how we live, to aspire, to want to do better, to succeed. 

Frank Black is no King Solomon but he has a point, though: Your head will collapse if there’s nothing in it. Mindfulness. It’s not easy. We may not get it right all of the time, but are we living with conscious choice or merely reacting to our circumstances? How often do our heads collapse from lack of content?

This mindful woman Solomon’s mama is telling him about? Give her the fruit of her hands, let her works praise her in the gates. She reaps the rewards of her mindful life and her life speaks for itself. It not only speaks for itself, it sings for itself. I want a life that sings.

Where is my mind?



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Okay friends, did I deliver or what?? 
Thank you so much, Suzanne.
Thank you from my guts and ribs and fingertips.
That was beautiful.
Iespecially love the assertion that the Proverbs 31 woman is 
“no resentful martyr,” but rather a “strong and mindful woman.”
And yes, Frank Black, we collapse if empty.
Excellent.
Please keep track of Suzanne’s constant stream of brilliance over at Peripheral Images
~Marie
“Out of the corner of your eye is where the magic happens.”
~Periphery
xoxoxoxo